The “How To Do A Marathon With Very Little Training” Episode

The Boston Marathon in Tallil, Iraq. I figure I’ll give you an account of what it was like to actually run one. Got up early, probably about 4:30 am, couldn’t sleep, I was nervous and excited, so I got everything ready earlier than I figured I would have. I tried to stay away from drinking too much water, I didn’t want to overdo it. I put bandaids over my nipples then covered those up with duct tape, to keep from chafing. I wore my regular army PT shorts, no undies, and a plain white tshirt with the sleeves ripped off.

I tried one of the Power Gel packs before I left, it was lemony and not really too bad. A little baby powder in the shorts, and some sun tan lotion all over and I was pretty much ready to go. I didn’t really see the point in stretching, considering the length of time I was going to be running and that I wouldn’t be running all that hard.

I got over to the starting line at about 0530, a half hour before the race started. I was just inclined to get it started right there, as waiting was just more nervousness. They had a bunch of useless banter, where officers get to use the limelight to spout off about crap that no one cares about save for themselves. At the start there were a couple of humvees set to take the race leaders around. The other guy in my unit, Bob, and I started out at a good pace, running each mile in just over 8 minutes.

The first 7 miles took us out by the Ziggurat of Ur and back thru the arches of the base. Then we ran up thru the middle of base and back down onto the back road on post, where the bulk (18 miles) of the race would be run. Mile marker 8 we were going strong, still pushing an 8 minute pace. Every two miles or so they had a water point/aid station, with water, Gatorade, orange slices, and Power Bar Power Gel packets. We tried to make good use of them, as we went by each one, grabbing a glass of water or Gatorade and a Power Gel packet and sucking it down.

After mile 8 the miles just started rolling by. I didn’t really even notice much till we reached about mile 15, I started to feel a little tired but not too bad. At roughly mile 16 was the turnaround point, it was about 200 meters from our living quarters, and Rob Nel had a sign out supporting everyone and a bunch of other guys were out there, they were pretty rowdy but I was first starting to feel it just a bit. We turned around and headed back along the back road in the opposite direction. At this point Bob fell back a ways from me as I kept moving along at the same pace. We had already talked about this, that it was going to happen at some point, but that we weren’t going to wait for the other, it’s a very individualistic event you know?

Still the next three miles I held my pace, feeling decent. I was still hitting up the water points for Gatorade and Power Gel packets, and smiling and waving at the people from our unit who had made the effort to get out on the back side of post to cheer everyone on. I was even ahead of a couple of our 4 person relay teams where each member ran a little over 6 miles. All of that was about to change.

At mile marker 19 it was like a ton of bricks fell right on my head and I finally had to stop for the first time. I had made it to the water point, so I drank some water and Gatorade and stretched as best I could, I was really hurting, but I didn’t think it would be too bad, I started out jogging a little slower as I headed out towards the next mile marker. I would run about 3 minutes, walk for a couple minutes, repeat it over and over. At this point the miles no longer were just rolling along, they were coming hard and heavy. I was praying to God with every mile just to help me make it. I really felt pretty good from the waist up, but my legs were really heavy. I kept plodding along.

As I came to mile marker 22, I figured I would run the last 200 meters or so into the water point there. But as I lifted up my leg to take off running it locked up so hard that I literally fell over backwards. Now to me this was really funny and I started laughing, but to the people at the water point, this was a freaking ‘MEDICAL EMERGENCY’ and I heard someone yell “GET MEDIVAC (medical evacuation) OUT HERE!! WE HAVE A HEAT CAT!! (heat casualty)” and one of the brand new Dodge Durangos they drive around came flying down the road screeching to a stop right next to me and they jumped out.

I was waving them off and trying to let them know it was only a cramp, I was like “hello, I’m still coherent, I just have a cramp is all! I can see all my fingers and I know where I’m at and what time it is!!” They got out and worked on my leg, the young guy grabbed my leg and lifted it up and pushed my toes back towards me trying to get the cramp to let go. “This is maybe the worst cramp I’ve seen out here today” he said, and it was pretty freakish, I had a ridge going up the middle of the calf and it was tighter than if I were to flex it as hard as I could on any normal day. “We are going to get one of the Italian ambulances over here to give you a ride back in” they told me, referring to the Italian soldiers who were out helping with the race. I was like “NO way guys, I’m going to finish this” as they helped me up.

It cramped up a little but I was able to walk it off (thankfully) and I made it into the mile 22 aid station with a grimace on my face and sat on a box filled with bottled water and spent about 4 minutes drinking a lot of Gatorade and eating orange slices. I really don’t think they thought I would get up and keep going but I did just that, this time speed walking rather than trying to run. At this point Bob caught up with me, he was still able to run, I was really glad to see that. I hoped he hadn’t dropped out.

The next couple of miles were really hellish. What made it worse was that I was probably passed up by about 40 to 50 people : ( I am very competitive and I hated that, it was like my body had failed me in a lot of ways. But I still had one thing left to save myself, and that was to finish this son of a bitch!! I just kept thinking about my baby, about how belly had done 7 weeks of Marine boot camp on a broken hip, and that I wasn’t injured and I sure as hell needed to keep moving, if she could do what she did I could push my pathetic ass to the finish line!!!

Mile marker 25: stopped again, got myself more Gatorade (I know, surprise) and more orange slices, stretched a little, listened to people say “GOOD JOB WAY TO GO ALRIGHT” really loudly and sorry for feeling this way, but I wanted to punch them in the face, because maybe that helps some people along but they ought to try and be subtle supportive with a low key “you are doing great man, keep it up” instead of yelling it right in your face *L* Oh well they were trying to be supportive, and that’s a good thing.

Only about a mile and a half to go now, I turned the corner up the long one mile stretch along airport road and was speed walking with a couple of other guys. We were joking around as best we could, we walked by the firefighters out in front of the firestation beside the runway and joked around with them about turning the hoses on or getting us some real beer. A little bit later I reached down to scratch my leg and WHAM that same calf muscle locked up again. This time I was able to walk it off without falling over, the other two guys were like “do you need some help?” and I waved them off, they had their own troubles to get thru.

By this time I was about a half mile from the finish when along came Wadas from the other direction. I was like “what the hell are you doing out here, didn’t you fly out last night?” They were supposed to have been on a flight back home for their two weeks, her and a few other people from our unit but that flight got pushed back a night so they were able to stay and watch us. It was great that she came out and walked me back in, I was doing the best I could but my toes were starting to curl up and cramp on me now too.

I turned the last bend with about 200 meters to go and everyone started cheering, so I thought, hey what the hell I better finish this thing off with a little run, if you can call it that. I hobbled along to the finish as hard as I could muster, legs locking up but I didn’t care, I was so close to done. I crossed the Finish line in 4 hours and 32 minutes. I was not really disappointed, I had made it, that was all I was hoping for, and I had said before the race that if I made it to at least mile 18, then it was a success. Well, I actually RAN to mile 19, so I would say that I met my goal with flying colors and then some.

They wanted to lay me back on some table and I was like “Uh, I’m not dying or anything, just give me some freaking cold water and a damn chair!!” So they sat me down and one guy went to work on my leg, so in between “OUCH” and “OH GOD” as he squeezed that calf muscle, I was telling the other people from our unit what the run was like. Bob had finished about 15 minutes before I did, and as it turns out he got 30th place overall, not too bad considering neither of us had trained much at all for it. I am unsure of my overall placing, but I’d say it was probably 50th or so, considering the number of people that got around me. I’m guessing for awhile I was top 15, until mile 19 when I hit the wall.

We went inside of the MWR building and took some pictures with all 18 people from our unit who participated (16 in the relays, and me and Bob in the full marathon), I couldn’t believe how cold it was inside of that building, but I wasn’t exactly right about that. When I walked back outside, I realized it wasn’t cold in the building, it was actually 101 degrees outside, I had been running in such extreme heat but my body was so beaten up I hadn’t even noticed it until then.

So, I got this cool medal that says “BOSTON ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION” and has a unicorn with “2006” in the middle and along the bottom it says “110th Boston Marathon”, on the back there is a crest with the same unicorn over the top of two crisscrossed flags under a “PATRIOT’S DAY” banner, along with “APRIL 17, 2006” and “ASHWORTH MADE IN USA SOLID FIND PEWTER” along the bottom in small lettering. It is hung by a yellow and blue strap, a very nice little piece, I have that along with the “2nd Annual Iraq Boston Marathon” brochure, I’m keeping both for my little awards collection I have back home of other accomplishments.

The walk back to my trailer sucked, it was about a quarter mile and I would have just as easily curled up on the rocks and went to sleep, I think. They were all saying at the end that most people can’t sleep right away after they finish, that they hydrate and eat a little but sore muscles keep them from getting sleep right away. Yah, not me, I got into my trailer, fell into bed, and slept for about an hour and a half. Now, I woke up about 5 times as I would move and my body would scream at me haha, but I did get a decent nap in.

I probably drank about 2 gallons of water/Gatorade/juice all that afternoon. We finally went to eat at about 1800 at the Italian eatery in the Air Force compound. I had a big plate of meaty spaghetti and an order of cheese bread. I stuffed myself silly. Then we headed back to our rooms and I went to bed about 2100 or so. Slept until 0300 or so, then woke up and couldn’t sleep any longer, I was too sore, so I sat in the computer chair and dicked around on the computer for about 3 hours then back to bed till 0900 or so.

Today I’m still really sore, but it was worth it. I was on Alamak and Electra asked me if I had a good time. THAT is an interesting question, because I would say that running a marathon, at least your first one, is a very rewarding experience but I wouldn’t exactly call it a ‘good time’ haha. For awhile out there I was thinking “OH MAN, I will NEVER EVER do one of these again” but to be honest I was thinking to myself about mistakes I had made and how I can fix them ‘next time’, which is crazy considering how incredibly sore I am.

So, in conclusion, don’t do what I did, as in, do not go and run a marathon without proper training, because it will kick your ass, or maybe even kill you. Am I saying I am better than you? No, that’s not it, but I also know that I am able to do what I would guess 99% of people aren’t able to do, and that’s to push my body beyond what I’m prepared using mind over matter so to speak. Just something I’ve always been able to do, I think long distance running teaches you to do that, and I’ve done long distance since junior high. Will I ever do another marathon? Heh heh, well, I have already thought about what I could fix ‘next time’ to actually RUN the whole thing without having to walk any. Who knows, there may be another one in my future. Just not for the next few months *OUCH*

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I'm on a ride and I want to get off
But they won't slow down the roundabout
I sold the renoir and the TV set
Don't want to be around when this gets out

The Reflex – Duran Duran

Well, today is the day. I'm nervous and excited, those seem to go hand in hand. I just tried a packet of that PowerBar Power Gel, it tasted like lemon meringue pie. Drinking water too, but not too much, going to worry about that once out on the course.

WISH ME LUCK!!! 26.2 miles won't be easy!!

More Training

I ran 3 miles tonite. Did a few sets of shoulder presses with my awesome weight set haha. Also two sets of 50 pushups each. I am excited and scared for this weekend at the same time. I hope I can sleep Friday night. Say a little prayer for me!!

I was walking out to the shower tonite, and I noticed the stars in the sky, and how beautiful it is over here. I don't get to see that a lot in Nebraska, living as close as I did to Omaha, it was definitely too bright. It's not all that DARK around post, but they do tone it down a LOT at night, not as dark as up north but we don't have this place too lit up.

I love the night, the stars in the sky, the peaceful calm, I can remember many times walking around when we were infantry, everyone asleep, except for me, just looking at the sky, enjoying the quiet calm and solitude. It's rarely as quiet here though, something is always going on.

I have a lot of wonderful memories that happened at night, I guess even a short walk like tonite gets me thinking about them.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Baby tonight is your night
And I will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask
I will give you the love of your life

I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men

Halfway Around The World, The Sport's Section Baseball Fan

It's that time of year again. Although the NBA season has not ended, sports this time of year are rather dismal. Sure you have golf, and the NBA Playoffs are coming up (NOTE TO NBA: 8 teams in the playoffs is PLENTY!!!), but beyond that, you have baseball, and yah, more golf. Along with a host of other meaningless sports that no one really cares about.

For me, I haven't every been too much into baseball. That being said though, I do follow the Oakland A's in term of the 'boxscore', as in, I am a statistics fan, I enjoy breaking down the stats from the games the next day more than I like actually watching the game itself. I do enjoy the game itself more than I did when I was younger, when I found baseball to be about as boring as watching grass grow.

The A's normally played late at night my time, being a couple of hours behind me, pacific time, and playing their games usually around 7 to 8 pm their time, I wouldn't get the scores till around midnight or so. Over here in Iraq however, it's really different, because of course I open up Yahoo sports around noon here and I'll find the game listed for today that is not yet being played, and so I click on "Yesterday" to get the score for a game that was just played in the last couple of hours my time.

Then I think "well, tonite's game" as though a game will be played in just a few hours, when in fact the next game isn't going to be over with for another 20 to 24 hours, depending on when I am looking at the LAST game's score. Oh man I get confused writing this myself.

About the A's, they are really doing well considering they lost two bonified all star pitchers in Tim Hudson and Mark Mulder. But youngsters like Joe Blanton have stepped up big time, and Houston Street is a fabulous reliever. I haven't had much of a chance to really look into the added offense on the team, oh well.

I hope my guys by the bay do well, and that they do better than Shoe's guys by the OTHER side of the bay haha!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

It’s true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you’re not with me

With You - Linkin Park

Trying Something Completely Crazy!!!

Okay, so there is this marathon next weekend here at Tallil to correspond with the Boston Marathon, and a bunch of people in our unit are going to run the relay portion of the marathon, 6 or so miles each, 4 people per relay team. Well, today I decided that rather than try it as a relay member, I'm going to try and run the whole stinking thing by myself. That's right, all 26 miles of it.

So tonite I decided to run 2 laps around this 3.5 mile section of the base. I got 2 laps in and felt pretty good so I went on for 3 laps. At the end of the third lap I still felt pretty good so I went around for a 4th lap. Now, by about a third of the way thru the fourth lap my hips were really starting to hurt and my arches were too. But all in all I'm fairly upbeat about my performance. I ran roughly 14 miles in 1 hour and 56 minutes, and I'm hoping that most of my problems are related to lack of water or sustinance, I didn't drink anything during my run.

I am guessing it was about a 7 mile an hour pace, not too bad. I'm also guessing that around the 16 to 18 mile mark I'm going to hit 'the wall', the point where human physical limits kick in and the mind has to somehow force the body to continue, or you will not be able to go on.

I'm going out tomorrow to drive that loop and measure just how far it is. I'm also going to run a long ways just one more time, probably Tuesday, and then every other day run about 3 miles or so.

I felt pretty good tonite, but there is no telling how I will feel at about 20 miles in next Saturday, YIKES!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Don't know where I'm going
But I know where I've been
Look around me everybody's trying to win

Last Mile - Cinderella

Life On The VCC

It's actually pretty nice to be back on VCC. This may sound odd, considering that I work a lot more hours than I have to in any other aspect within this company. But I get away from the pure fucking bullshit that permeates the leadership of our unit like some sort of disgusting stench, it's like walking into a room and just wrinkling your nose, and I'm tired of it.

It's a lot busier now on VCC than it was back in November and December, and I've pretty much immediately been immersed into it, handling even more duties than I was back then. I think they like having me back down there, the leadership that is. But then, maybe I'm only tooting my own horn haha : )

Yesterday I got involved in something I hadn't taken a part in the last time I was on VCC, I had to escort a driver off post, with his semi truck, because he hid a cell phone in his vehicle. He was a third country national, in this case from Egypt, and I don't know if he fully understood what was going on, but I think he did, they know the score, if you hid contraband items in your vehicle and you are caught, you are banned from ever coming back.

I headed into the Air Force area of the VCC compound where they had him (the Air Force does the searches and handles the bulk of the base security, it IS an Air Force Base after all, even though we Army folks are harder workers haha). The driver was probably about 50 years old, maybe a little older, somewhat heavyset, 275 pounds or so, about 5 ft 10 in tall, dark graying hair. He spoke very little English, in fact I spoke more Arabic than he spoke English, but that didn't help much.

The Air Force took his photo to add to the list of banned workers, they gave me his cell phone and passport, and I escorted him out to his truck to ride with him to the front gate where I would get out, and he would wait for the rest of his convoy, then leave, presumably to never be allowed back. I got into the passenger side as he got into the driver side, and he settled into his chair with a deep sigh.

I took some time looking around the vehicle as he got his truck prepared to start. Basically the foreign national workers live in their vehicles, and his truck was no exception, you could see he had taken the time to keep his vehicle cleaned up inside, he had two small hearts hanging in the windshield, each said "I Love You" in English, many bottles of water scattered around the cab, for easy access when thirsty, his sleeping area in back all tidy, clothes folded neatly under the bunk.

Although neither of us could communicate, it was extremely awkward. He knew what was happening, and what I was there for. As we slowly took off, I gave him hand signals as to where to turn, the different roads to take to get turned around. From time to time he would mumble about something and do hand actions as to what he was doing, and why he 'forgot' to tell them about the cell phone. I could pick up certain cryptic worlds in Arabic, but it is so hard to understand the language anyway, I'm not nearly adept at it, and he is from Egypt, which is as tough as having your grandfather head into Compton and try talking to a gang, it's a different type of Arabic altogether.

Most of these workers don't make a LOT of money, but it's a lot more than they'd get in their home countries. They come to Iraq and brave dangerous situations and less than ideal living conditions in order to save up enough money to move up in the world back home. Many hide items because they fear they will not get them back. A cell phone is an expensive item for most of them, considering the money it takes to get one and the salary they get for the work they do. They always get their phones back, but it still doesn't alleviate the fear of the unknown when they come on post, so they still try and hide them. And of course, they end up getting kicked off post.

I got him to the road leading off post, and when we got to the drop off point, I wanted to say something, but nothing really fit. To say I'm sorry wasn't the right thing, what I wanted to say was that things don't always go right, that he was a good man from what I could see and how much I didn't like doing this. Of course I wasn't able to say this to him, but I did shake his hand as I left, I always try to be as cordial and respectful as I can, for this is their land, not ours, and even though he is Egyptian and not Iraqi, he is more home than I am.

Respect goes a long way, with anyone, and even though it was a bad situation for him to be in, I believe he knew how I was feeling, I sat for a bit more and visited as only two people who cannot speak to one another can, thru some hand signals and pointing, then I headed out, we were both smiling.

That's the best I think you can hope for in certain situations. Even though I will likely never see this person again, we both likely learned a bit about one another from just a chance encounter in some crummy circumstances.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

...and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
under wandering stars I've grown
by myself but not alone
I ask no one

Anywhere I Roam - Metallica

Out Of Gas And Sore

Well, I’m was going to make a long elaborate post about how my 4 day pass in Qatar was, about how it was only 3 days, but that I still had fun, yadda yadda yadda, but I’m going to keep it short. First of, the people of Qatar are assholes, they have a lot of money, money the didn’t earn (OIL) and they are stuck up and arrogant, I’ll stay just short of the world ‘racist’ but it’s damn close, and likely in some cases.

Also, my previous comments on drivers in Kuwait being the worst in the world… well, let’s just make that drivers in the middle east, because the only difference between those in Kuwait and Qatar are that the drivers in Qatar drive more expensive vehicles (not by much though, Kuwait vehicles are pretty nice too).

So, no one threw up on me on the flight back, which by the way was at 4 in the freaking morning, so we couldn’t even get any sleep that night, considering you are doing shit for 2 hours before you even get on your flight, such as turning in linen, signing forms, etc. I know, hard to believe you’d be signing more forms in the military, there is SO little of that going on. Okay, late and equally lame April fools joke there.

So anyways, I had a couple of days back here in Tallil not doing much of anything, I mean, out at the motor pool in the morning, moving a few vehicles around, doing this and that, and I wrote up a packet for the company to give people who are going on their 4 day pass, to let them know what to bring, what not to bring, and what you will be doing there, seeing how our fucking leadership is too inept to have something like that already. I haven’t given it to anyone yet, tomorrow I’m going to stop down and hand it to the 1SGT in person and tell him that it needs to be given out along with the DD Form 31 (paper that allows you to go on leave) so that people won’t be as ignorant as I was, not knowing where to go, what to bring, and turning in my weapon at the last minute because I damn near forgot to (I’ll take the blame on that one, but running my M16A2 down to the arms room a half mile away 20 minutes before I’m supposed to be at the Tallil terminal to sign for my flight, was not very smart and I was running VERY fast).

Yesterday, I am finishing up out at the motor pool, it’s 1630, a very late Sunday, considering most units don’t really do a whole lot on a Sunday anyway, when I came back to find my name on the whiteboard for being NCOIC of VCC again *WOO HOO!!*
So I was back out there today, first time in more than 3 months, doing my thing, I was shocked at how fucked up our company has it, but I’m going to do my best to fix it over the next week to 10 days, I’m guessing that’s how long I’ll be on it. They didn’t tell me why I am back on it, which is typical, the leadership in our unit just loves to keep people blind, even though the ‘leader’ in question is the same fucking rank as I am, and he’s an egocentric asshole who perpetuates the ‘good old boy’ system and doesn’t even realize he does it, which is pretty sad if you ask me. Oh well, not getting into that. 6 more months, fraNky boy, and you are out of this unit forever!! YAH!!

This afternoon I had a little time to kill, because I’m damn good as a VCC NCOIC and I get my shit squared away, so I headed out to the junk pile to get myself some items to make a weight set with, and I ended up with enough for a 65 lb. curl bar and an 85 lb. curl bar (estimated weights). I am using the suspension springs off of what I believe is a humvee and maybe an LMTV (larger than a humvee, smaller by a hair than a deuce-and-a-half. They rock, I have one done so far, and I put a couple pictures up on my yafro page, one of the raw materials of the heavier bar which I haven’t started yet, and the lighter one which I’ve completed already. THANK GOD FOR 100 MPH TAPE!! I used a lot of it!!

I also stopped out at the Hesco Marts (named for the Hesco barriers, sand filled barriers to protect whatever you put them in front of, some people call them Haji Marts, I think that is disrespectful), just to see what was for sale, the local Iraqi’s sell their wares there, a lot of bootleg stuff, movies, electronics, along with actual Iraqi items, leather goods, metal working, blankets, etc. I bought 4 new bootleg movies, at 2 bucks a pop. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Date Movie, Hulk, and already, yes, V for Vendetta. The Iraqi ‘businessmen’ who promote movies are freaking fast, I can’t wait to see the movie theater they shot this one in, with people walking in front of the camera. I wonder if my neighbor wonders who I am yelling at sometimes when I scream at the television “SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!”

Ohhhhhhh yes and I almost forgot. We are driving alone coming up to the gates of Tallil, these fancy things everyone calls “The Arches”, and I look down and see that I’m just under a quarter tank of gas. I turned to tell two of my soldiers who are riding in the vehicle “Sorry guys, I know you want to get back to your rooms, but I need to fuel up” and immediately, the freaking vehicle dies and coasts to a stop RIGHT under the arches at the main gate, talk about funny. So then it was us and the Air Force security guys who run the main gate pushing the vehicle off to the side of the road just inside the gate. I had to laugh, everything went so well all day and that was how it ended.

I had to walk a mile and a half, while the other 2 guys waited for the bus. I was too frustrated to just sit there and wait, I needed to blow off steam. I power walked it in about 10 minutes, and by that time I was all tired out, so I didn’t go for my run. Besides, I knew I would make my curl bar and do some work with that. I grabbed a mechanic and we headed back down to my HUMVEE (driving another vehicle this time, NOT walking) and sure enough, it was out of gas, took us more than 10 minutes to reprime that motor (DO NOT EVER run a diesel out of fuel, woah).

So here I am tonite, oh and very very sore, last night I did 10 sets of 20 each pushups and situps, and tonite I’ve been doing a bunch of curls and upright rows. I’m going to get myself into hella good shape. I’m never that far out of shape though, which is good. Well, it’s getting late, time to decide which movie to watch and hit the hay!! NIGHT NIGHT FRIENDS!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Oppressed that she who clearly
Sees the wealth of the trees
To obtain a bird's eye is to
Turn a blizzard to a breeze

Nice To Know You – Incubus

A Bad Game Of Poker

So, of course I'm still in Qatar on my 4 day pass. The last two groups to come down here from where we are from were here for 8 days. So we were betting on at least a couple extra days while we waited to get a flight out. : ( No such luck. BAH!! More on that later, don't want to give out TMI right now.

Today was pretty fun. We were SUPPOSED to go on the fishing trip, that got changed to the boating cruise, then that got cancelled too so we went to the 4 story mall that is supposedly twice the size of Mall of America. Well folks, let me tell you, Mall of America must be small, or they have misjudged this place. Don't get me wrong, we had fun running up and down 4 stories of mall, and I climbed a rock wall, and slid down a big huge ice ramp on an intertube, raced around in mini go carts chasing two little arab kids and one of my fellow soldiers (I WON!), and visited with an Egyptian local national who told me that I had the best arabic accent (albeit my arabic is limited) that he had ever heard from an American or Western European. I bought some stuff in his shop.

I really over ate during my time here : ( I shouldn't have but I just felt, hey, I have a month before I go home, I'll indulge some. I broke my nice Timex Expedition watch too, oddly enough the corner of the watch broke off, so it wasn't the typical 'band broke' or 'battery died' type of thing. Luckily some super glue seems to have fixed the problem, don't know for how long.

I'm sure I'll post more on a reflection post about this trip, right now I have to go pack. BAH, I wanted an extra two days, this is irritating!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where i'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

Time - Hootie and the Blowfish

Volleyball In The Rain

So, Qatar is one of the sunniest countries in the world, right? Yah, not so far on my pass. Day 1, cloudy, day 2, again, cloudy, and today, day 3, raining, not anything bad, just light rain.

Today started in the briefing room like always, where you meet to go on the outings, and I was picked out of 23 people to be the NCOIC of the day, basically in charge of the group. So we got out and into 6 Nissan Pathfinders, all on super sized springs and sand tires, and headed out into the dessert.

We roared up and down sand dunes, tearing around like maniacs, we weren't allowed to drive but that was okay. The drivers we had were maniacs. Then we all rode camels around, that was interesting, I found out they don't like to be pet, or at least they aren't used to it. I would lean forward and pet the camel and he would snarl at me and growl loudly, everyone was laughing their asses off about it.

Then we loaded up again in the Pathfinders and roared across the desert to the beach. It was sprinkling the entire time thus far, and that didn't stop. I got into the Persian Gulf up to my knees, but that was as far as I would go, it was just way too damn cold to go further, the wind coming off the ocean was gusting up to 30 mph and I didn't want to get sick.

So we played volleyball for about 2 hours, and that was a blast. I got totally drilled in the nuts when this girl who wasn't too good dug the ball and it bounced off her wrists at a 90 degree angle and beelined right into my crotch. Again, that was good for some laughs, not so much by me for a couple of minutes.

Finally the food got there and we all ate. It was local cuisine, a beef kabob, a mutton kabob, some bread (no where near as good as the iraqi bread) some humice? (I think?) and a couple of salads, along with some rice and chicken. I swear the chicken there must be the scrawniest of all the world's chickens because it was like chewing gristle off the bone.

All in all I had a great time. Lost my 70SPF suntan lotion, but I'm not going to worry too much about that, I'll buy more. The sad thing is, I didn't even use it of course. Hell, if it keeps going like this I won't get a chance to use it at all. So be it!

So far, lots of fun, taking some pictures, will post them when I get back home.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Some strange arabic music they played all day today, sorry, I have NO clue what it was, it was interesting though.

Rest & Relaxation

Isn’t it amazing how a vacation is defined as a break from work, as though it’s a time for ‘rest and relaxation’, when in reality it’s like you try to pack as much crap into a shortened time period as you possibly can. This is no exception, this 4 day pass to Qatar. Last night we ate at the Chili’s here by the pool, and I ate far too much, then slammed down my 3 drinks, 2 Fosters and a Corona, in about 15 minutes, and then I actually felt a little ill. I drank all three of my drinks with orange juice.

Afterwards I called my wife up quick, then headed off to bed, I was beat. Slept till about 7 this morning, up again, called belly again, then at 0900 we headed off to the Hyatt Mall. Quite disappointed, to be honest, the prices are just outrageous here. And the mall itself left a lot to be desired. There really wasn’t much in the way of interesting stuff, in my opinion. I sort of enjoy shopping in Iraq by comparison, because there are so many unique and unexpected items.

Oddly enough, the people of Qatar seem to LOVE coffee. There must have been 6 coffee shops in a mall that was about 2/3 the size of a typical U.S. mall like you’d find back home. I wish I would have bought sunglasses the last place we were at while flying here. The PX here has a horrible selection, and you’ll pay more than 100 dollars for any pair out in the malls.

It was quite hot today, so I got ready when I got back from the mall to head down to the pool. And oh what luck, it suddenly got cloudy and sprinkled on us at the pool, so that was basically pointless. I am having fun though. Tomorrow we are signed up for a tour leaving at 9 in the morning again, this time it’s the inland picnic tour. For now though I’m going to bed. NIGHT!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I can't sleep, I keep dreaming of losing you
I feel so alone in the night, scared to open my eyes
I'm in too deep, I'm in over my head this time
Can't get you out of my mind, no matter how hard I try

Say You Will – Foreigner

Not Guitar, QATAR!!

I’m currently on my 4 day “rest and relaxation” pass to Qatar, a tiny country in the middle east. Headed out yesterday afternoon from Iraq and ended up here finally at like 0200 today, then we had briefings till close to 0500. After that we got our linens (sheets, the venerable green wool blanket, pillowcase, frumpy old pillow, and a towel) and they showed us to our ‘tents’.

The tents we are staying in are actually inside of a much larger warehouse, it’s kind of nice because it’s so well climate controlled. Inside the tent are bunkbeds, I got in reasonably early and got myself a bottom bunk. You have to have a lock for the lockers because there are people around who love to steal stuff, so they say about Qatar. If that’s the least I have to worry about here though, hell that’s alright with me, I’ll just be sure to lock my shit up.

It’s really warm here, probably about 105 degrees outside, but you know me, I love the heat. I just swelter away and enjoy myself. Oh, on the trip here I got vomited on, the girl across from me, another member of our unit, suddenly said “I need a bag” and I didn’t follow what she meant, but she needed a throw up bag, and no one heard her, we barely got her carry on bag and my bag out of the way and she leaned forward and upchucked right between us.

Now, to fully describe what it’s like riding on a C130, you are sitting facing one another, legs basically intertwined, probably only about 3 feet apart total. So I had a nice up close and personal view of her tossing chunks, and right down my calf too. Well, you probably know what puke smells like, but imagine in at about 95 degrees packed inside of the tight confines of an airplane, and it was pretty rank. I’m surprised no one else threw up.

So, it’s great to be in Qatar, and that is no lie. They basically set up ‘recreational programs’ for us to do here, that involve going out in groups of 25 to do things like water sports, beach picnics, historical tours, mall tours, etc. We wanted to go on water sports (me and the other 4 people from our unit who are here) but that filled up far too fast. So we ended up signing up for one of the smaller ‘mall tours’. I say smaller because I guess they have a 4 story mall here that is TWICE the size of Mall of American. Yes, I know, your jaw is wide open, mine was too when I heard this. And get this, this is actually only the FOURTH largest in the world. I have to wonder, where are the other three, and if this one is THIS big, just how big are THEY?

So we are going to the mall tomorrow to do some purchasing. I did buy a couple of things this morning because you have to dress appropriately according to the culture here. I didn’t think my Coed Naked Snow Skiing shirt nor my Moo You Bastard shirt would fit in well over here. I ended up buying 3 plain Hanes white Xlarge tshirts and an orange collared shirt. I have two other dressy tshirts but none with a collar, and although you aren’t required to wear a collared shirt now (used to have to off post all the time) I still wanted one so I could look nice. It’s a little flashy in terms of the color, solid orange, but I am sick of drab colors, this is the first time I’ve worn civvies in more than 5 months. Plus, hell, I can work for a road crew when I get back if I need to, with this shirt haha. Oh, and NO SHORTS off post. You have to wear jeans. That’s going to be warm haha, thank God I enjoy the heat.

So, I think I’m going to get off the computer here and go to the pool. A 4 foot pool with no diving boards. Yes, LAME – O! Everyone knows I like the diving boards. So far so good, it’s pretty fun here. I’ll keep you updated!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

See me I'm down and I get deeper with every breath
See me I'm over the edge farther with every step
See me I'm down and I get deeper with every breath
Standing over the edge I'm taking my last breath

Starless - Crossfade

The Empty Blog That Never Was

Okay Mr stryfe, I went to your user page and checked out your blog, and I must say I found it rather LACKING!

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

The Ire Of Cancer Sticks

It’s hard for me to put into words just how irritating and downright angry I get at cigarette smokers. Smoking is a disgusting and reprehensible filthy habit, there is nothing sophisticated about giving a blow job to about what, a thousand or so chemicals, nothing cool about spreading your grimy smoke all over others who do not want to be around that shit.

I have never in my life been around smokers so completely inept of courteous behavior, devoid of the ability to see how fucking completely and totally rude they are when they light up in a group. Let me give you the basic scenario:

We have meetings here, all the time. That’s part of what being in the military is all about. Technically, it’s an informal formation. For whatever reason, even on days when everyone has had the ENTIRE fucking day off, smokers choose that time when we have our meetings to go ahead and light up while standing in the midst of everyone, puffing away on that repulsive smoldering tar stick, as though they are the only persons around.

Oh and then mention something NICELY to them about not smoking around people and they laugh, as though it’s some joke to pollute my and everyone else’s lungs in the area who have no intention of smoking and feel the same way I do about it. So then you have to be downright mean and tell them straight up to put the cigarette out. For me this means pulling rank, which I don’t like to do, but with people who are completely at a loss for manners and common decency, I guess that they just need to be treated like fucking children, and scolded like a bunch of 1st graders. I’ve even had to go so far as having formal formations just to get my point across, since the informal group meetings seem to be invitations to smoke away, oblivious to how offensive and discourteous their behavior is.

And how ridiculous is it that smokers are designated their own breaks to take care of their habits, whether it be at work or whatever. If you are a non smoker, are you able to ask for 3 or more 15 minute breaks during your work period. Oh some of us are, but I’ve been around work settings, military and otherwise, where people act like “You don’t smoke, what do you need a break for?” Well fucknut, if you are giving a break to them it’s only fair that you give a break to everyone, common sense dictates that, dipshit!!

I wonder sometimes if I should feel bad for anyone who has such a pathetically poor self image or self esteem that they feel the need to put that shit in their body in the first place. This goes for smoking weed or other drugs. It’s no religious belief or country hick upbringing of mine either, its fucking common sense, a person should work to fulfill their lives in other ways. This is how I’ve always felt about this. My strong desire to NOT smoke cigarettes or other items is by no means a weakness or character defect, if anything the complete audacity and immaturity of anyone who would believe that is utterly appalling, especially considering that it is character defects and weaknesses that draw people into tobacco and drugs.

Normally I wouldn’t judge anyone on this basis, but lately I’ve become perturbed with smokers in general deployed around me, our unit must have about 65% smokers, at LEAST, and their lacksidasical attitude about being considerate to others pisses me off, to be blunt. That and a couple of other distant recollections of comments about it, and I figured I would get my point across. I’m not concerned about stepping on toes, if you smoke, you are the one fucking stupid enough to sign your own death warrant, don’t drag me in with you. I love the moronic statements smokers defend themselves with, like “well, something has got to kill me.” Oh, yah, so let’s take chance out of the equation and incur the equivalent of a 40 to 50 year suicide rather than let mother nature take it’s course.

Smoking is just as sure suicide as putting the barrel of a gun in your mouth and pulling the trigger. It just happens to take a bit longer for the cancerous bullet to do it’s dirty deed. Got a problem with my opinions on this matter? So fucking what, I can’t even come up with a reasonable equivalent as to an analogy for how smokers treat others, save for maybe going right up to where you are eating, dropping my pants and taking a shit on your plate, because that’s how violating smoke is to non smokers.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a…
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of…
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Ænema – Tool

New Site Fo' Shizzle!!

Ever want to speak more eloquently using a more urban speaking type?
Well, are you ever in luck, try the Gizoogle translater to make your
favorite web pages totally pimp. Go to Gizoogle and try it out now,
don't be left behind of the urban movement, make sure your kids know
what you are talking about!!

Here's what it does for one famous song:

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The long n wind'n road T-H-to-tha-izzat leads ta yo door,
wizzill pimp disappear,
I've seen thiznat road before it always leads me here
Leads me ta yo door.

The wild n windy night tizzle tha rain washed away,
Has left a poo` of tears cry'n fo` tha day
Why leave me stand'n here, let me kniznow tha way
Many times I've been alone n many times I've cried
Anyway you'll neva kizzle tha many ways I've tried
And stiznill they lead me bizzay ta tha long n mackin' road
You left me rhymin' here a long, long tizzle ago
Don't leave me ballin' here, lead me ta you dizzy

But still they lead me back ta tha long n chillin' road
You left me stand'n here a long, long tizzle ago
Don't keep me wait'n hizzy (Don't kizzy me wait), lead me ta you door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Da Long N' Witizzle to da din' Road - The Beatles

Yet ANOTHER Website

One thing about internet search pages, they are woefully inadequate in terms of finding out where PEOPLE are at, unless the person in question does a LOT of internet activity involving their real name. I always figured you’d have to pay to use one of the better websites to search for people, but I was wrong. I found an awesome people finder site:

ZABASEARCH!!

I even found my old roommate from college on this, not that I’ll ever contact the asshole. He’s known where I’ve been for 10 years now and made no effort whatsoever to find me. Anyways, not going to be bitter about him, people who turn their backs on former friends are a pathetic waste of space. Let it be there problem, they nearly always end up in a sad lonely existence later on.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

If you’ve got some time to kill
Slow resistance wins the war
Well I know
But that’s no way to go
You can’t resist the louder pull

Loud Love – Soundgarden (1989)

*interesting fact about this song, it was from the album titled Louder Than Love, which originally was supposed to have been titled Louder Than Fuck, in typical Soundgarden fashion. Of course their record label had a conniption and the band relented. To this day I believe Soundgarden is far and away a better band overall than Nirvana. Nirvana was lyrically brilliant but musically challenged at best. Dave Grohl was the only person with any real musical talent, sure, Cobaine could write lyrics, but damn he sucked as a guitar player, let’s be honest here.

Unholy Indulgence In Internet Archivals!!!

Wouldn’t you like to check out an old website that no longer exists, to go back in time and look around, sort of like reading an old favorite book you hadn’t read in years? WELL JOYFUL SALUTATIONS!! THERE IS A WAY!! Some archiving website has like ELEVENTY FOUR BILLION PAGES saved on it, I’m not really sure how many that is in English, because I don’t know the metric system that well, but this is where it’s located at:

The Wayback Machine!!

You just put the old address into the search string and voila… the old archives show up. Not all websites work, but quite a few I tried did. I spent quite a while traveling down ole’ memory road. You can find yourself doing that a lot over in this place.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Heretics and hypocrites
wear the same face through the years
Of telling lies and laying blame
Damn the fire to feed the flame
I'll dance I'll sing
I'll try to fade their images planted in your head

Heaven – Better Than Ezra (1995)

Animal Crackers In My Soup

First off, a big thank you to belly’s mother, for a wonderful care package she sent to me, that included Oreo cookies, Nutter Butters, Scooby Doo fruit roll-ups, Pirates of the Caribbean fruit snacks (what sort of obscure food is this? Haha, it tastes good, but Pirates of the Caribbean?? What does that have to do with a fruity snack?), beef jerky, Koolaid, Frosted Caramel Chocolate Pop Tarts (do these even classify as pop tarts? I mean honestly, it’s more like a chocolate pastry, when I think of pop tarts, I think of a fruit filled type pastry, this thing is more like a flat donut/candybar. Of course, that didn’t stop me from eating them.)

Also included, among other items, were Barnum’s Animals Crackers. I haven’t had those in years. How interesting is it to eat something that you haven’t eaten in such a long time and get a flood of memories. They say that smell is the strongest trigger for recollection, and I believe taste is included with that. Don’t believe me? Open up a container of PlayDoh sometime, or a box of Crayola crayons, and take a big sniff. You’ll be amazed. If you are still skeptical, go ahead and eat them.

But anyways, back to the original post, I appreciated the box of goodies, I think someone is trying to give me goodies cuz I have a hole in my back heh heh. Hey, I’ll take them, for whatever reason!! I have a wonderful family, that is for sure!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I took a look inside your bedroom door
You looked so good lying on your bed
Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love
You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead

Rock And Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution – AC/DC

Late Nights At The Operations Center

I took over a couple of weeks ago for the night shift NCO at our company operations center while he goes home for his break, which works out pretty nice for me, considering that I had that lump removed from my back so I’m restricted from wearing the ballistic armor vest until it heals up. So far it’s healing up nicely, initially they thought it would have taken less time but they didn’t realize just how deeply they had cut into my back so I’m working on another 10 days of restricted duty till they can be sure it’s healed up right.

Not a whole lot happens at night, we monitor the different communications devices, drive back and forth from battalion to pick up and deliver paperwork, keep track of who comes around the company motor pool (pretty much no one), and until that stupid pond out in front is gone, we have to clean the water out of the bunker (for some reason the hole they dug to hold the water from the December to February rains ended up tapping into the bunker itself and leaking more than 250 gallons a night into the old operations center, so we’ve moved upstairs until that pond dries out again.)

I did notice something that made me snicker… we purchase a lot of the bootleg movies over here to watch, on DVD, and while some are pretty decent quality, most have some sort of glitches or problems. Well, we were watching one last night and they actually had the anti piracy preview recorded right along with the rest of the movie. “You wouldn’t steal a car, would you?” Yah, that one. I thought that was hilarious. Nothing like being thorough in your dubbing processes, watching the anti-piracy warning on a pirated dvd.

Anyone that is overseas in the military knows about the use of phone cards, DSN lines and all that. Has anyone else noticed how irritating the cards have gotten lately? When did they turn into a 10 minute process of button pushing and irritating advertisements just to make a phone call with a product that you paid for?

“Thank you for using the AT&T US Postal Service phone card. Here at the US Postal Service we are willing to work with all of you…” *I press 1 to cut that off*

“For English press 1, for Espanol…” *1*

“Enter your card number now” *enter the pin number*

“Now you can use your AT&T phone card for local movie listings, restaurant reviews, and…”*1 GRRRR*

For a call within the United States, Canada, or the Caribbean…” *1*

“You may dial now” *dial the phone number, FINALLY*

“Remember the US Postal Service for all your shipping and…” *1 DAMMIT*

“Your phone card has ### minutes remaining, when you hear… *1 GEESH!!!*

“Thank you for all you do to keep the hope and spirit of…” *1, CHRIST ALREADY!!*

“DIALING” *ABOUT DAMN TIME!!*

I do believe that when I get back, I’m going to look up the lady from the phone card and give her the beating of a lifetime, all in the spirit of hope and all the other bullshit she talks about on my phone card : )

I’ve been feeding a new addiction at night now, called “PINBALL”. That’s right folks, it’s the pinball game you can find on most newer computers, and I’ve become addicted to it. Has anyone else? I have spent hours inventing new and more interesting swear words to yell at the computer when it CHEATS and knocks the ball back behind the paddles or right down the middle where I can’t stop it!! Of course this happens during the lonely hours at night out at the operations center. My high score is 9.6 million, I can't seem to get even close to that again haha.

One thing I probably shouldn’t say but I will anyway, that song “Loving you, is easy cuz you’re beautiful…”, yah, well, the guy I work with at night and I were trying to hit the high note, and needless to say, we were at least 4 octaves off, how the hell does she do that? Anyone who has heard that song knows exactly what I’m talking about, “doo en doo en doo oooh, ahhhhhhh”. Yah, don’t ask, we get freaking bored as hell at night sometimes, SO DON’T JUDGE US!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I was thinking maybe later on,
we could get together for awhile
It’s been such a long time,
and I really do miss your smile.

I’d Really Love To See You Tonite – Barry Manilow

Talkin’ Aboot Fargo, Eh?

So anyways, we were watching Fargo during the night shift out at operations, and I started to wonder about William H. Macy’s character in the movie. Basically he offers 40 grand to a couple of hoods to kidnap his wife so he could extort a million bucks from his father in law. Well, of course the plan goes to shit, the hoods kidnap his wife as planned, but end up killing a state trooper, then of course 2 unfortunate people drive past and see what is going on, and they get killed too. Then the father in law insists that he be the one that delivers the money, and he gets killed, then one of the kidnappers kills the other with an axe, and he kills the wife finally too, and gets caught while putting the bodies of his former accomplice and the guys wife into a wood chipper.

Now, while I did take criminal justice 101 as an elective in college, I am by no means an expert in the ways of our legal system in the United States. What all would Macy’s character (the husband) be charged with? Now, you have kidnapping, conspiracy, and extortion, but would he be tried as an accessory to murder, or even for murder outright? Or for how many murders? Do the effects of your original felony (the kidnapping) that lead to more crimes that he did not intend even if you aren’t involved?

I get a kick out of this movie, because I remember how people in North Dakota went out of their way to say ‘we do NOT talk like that!!’ yet they actually do. I had two friends at the Air Force base in North Dakota and after a couple of years they started to sound like that on the phone and I would laugh and point it out to them yet they didn’t seem to notice it themselves haha. Pretty good, eh?

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I’d like to hear some funky Dixie land
Pretty mama come and take me by the hand
By the hand hand take me the hand
Come and dance with your daddy all night long

Black Water – Doobie Brothers

Thoughts Of Bulldozing, Incessant Paddlings, Being Hit By A Bus, And Parading Around With Underwear On My Head

Okay, I am feeling pretty good about myself, after spending a couple of hours really cleaning things up in my little 10X10 trailer I live in. I purchased a regular 110 clip lamp for my desk for the times I am able to spend on the internet or working on some computer project. I did have a 220 light but the stupid thing kept burning out lightbulbs and it gets tedious having to run out to the HESCO marts and buying light bulbs from the local nationals because the PX doesn’t carry them, only to have them burn out in a couple of days due to either a) surges b) bad lightbulbs to begin with, or c) demons living in my room conspiring to keep me in the darkness.

I had the night off last night so I was free to spend around 12 hours surfing the internet, along with an old friend in the Forest giving me some fun sites to look at. I also spent about an hour trying to find something at one particular site because all the chatting in the Forest had me feeling nostalgic about the past and I wanted a reminder as to why, in some respects, I should be wary. I found what I was looking for, and I made sure I saved it this time. I don’t want to make the mistake of reminiscing about fond times and overlook this particular contemptible verbal throttling, an erroneous yet scathing portrayal of my character in which any admirable traits were distorted with acidic loathing, a condescending and scornful depiction that was more about feeding one’s own significance than any measure of genuine feeling or truth.

With that said, I do recollect about the ridiculously witty encounters of those days, and it’s entertaining to do so with a memorable chatter such as JackAss, who also goes by the name DerekFlynt. Some people feel this is juvenile. If finding enjoyment in something that another person finds so completely meaningless is trivial, then so be it. Besides, there’s an entirely new generation of video games out there since February 26 of 1999, and I strongly desire to smack the piss out of DerekFlynt with an Xbox 360!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

When I seem to believe all that I've done wrong
You can take all that's right I will still move on
Taken all I can give it seems that I don't belong
Push me further from this, go on

Live A Lie – Default

Happy March 1st of 2006 Everyone!!!

Well well, here I am, and it’s now March, which means I’ve now resided in the armpit of the earth for 4 months. Now I know, some would call this the asshole of the world, but to be honest, THAT is northern Iraq. Of course I’m in northern Iraq from time to time, just like western Iraq, eastern Iraq, Kuwait, and Somalia, but that’s just how it is with this crack combat transportation unit. (Okay, I added Somalia in for a little flavor, that is just not true, we haven’t been there… YET!!). Anyways, that is basically 1/3 of the time we are going to be here, PARTY TIME, BREAK OUT THE N/A BEERS!!

So, in other news, I’ve had a bump on my back for about 2 years or so, maybe a little longer, it was nothing bad, for the longest time it was hardly even noticeable. Then when belly got back from boot camp, she said she thought it had gotten bigger. So I had a civilian doctor check it out… “Oh that’s no big deal, it’s just a fatty deposit” so I didn’t think much of it. Yah, well, it seemed to get a little bigger over here, about the size of the end of my index finger or so, right up in the middle of my back a little to the right side just at the end of the shoulder muscle.

About 3 weeks ago it got inflamed on a trip down to Arifjan in Kuwait, and so I spend a few days hoping it would get better. Well, it didn’t, it got worse, and I found myself annoyed even trying to wear the body armor while bouncing around in my trusty 915 semi truck as it headed down the road at a blazing 45 mph.

Went in to see the doctor, and he took me in back to the ER and they did a procedure to remove it. Now, I thought it was just going to be no big deal, and I guess for some it probably isn’t much of a big deal, but they carved the entire bump out of my back. It was some sort of cyst, non cancerous thankfully. Now I have to have it packed every day for 2 weeks with a full recovery in 3 weeks. They offered me Percocet but I didn’t take it, I hate the big pain killers like that stuff, codeine, etc, they seem to fuck me up pretty bad.

Thankfully, I was scheduled to start working the night shift at the operations center for the unit anyway as the NCOIC for that shift, so my two week profile away from the convoys (because I can’t wear my ballistic armor or really ride in a truck with my back like it is) won’t affect me too much. The most irritating thing right now is the damn tape they use to seal the wound makes my skin just crawl like crazy, it irritates the shit out of the skin around the wound itself, they’ve tried like 3 different kinds of tape but nothing seems to keep it from getting itchy and red : ( I don’t much like it, keeps me from working out or doing much of anything that requires labor. Oh well, 3 weeks, I can deal with that. Especially considering what my baby went thru for her hip.

Oh, and a little shout out to Arifjan, post or base or whatever you are you pathetic shithole, and to the ignorant jackass lieutenant who stopped me as I went into the chow hall and give me the following run around:

(I walk into the chow hall for evening chow right as we get done unloading our trucks)

SPC Dipshit: “Excuse me Sergeant, you can’t come in here with that mud on your pants.”

(I look down, yes, I do have a streak of mud along the button up pocket.)

ME: “There really isn’t much I can do about that, we aren’t from Arifjan, we are from up north in Iraq, we convoy down and we don’t bring a lot of clothing with us”

SPC Dipshit: “Well, we don’t allow people in the chow hall with soiled clothing.”

At this point someone else walks up and puts in his unwanted two cents worth:

2LT Ignorant Fuck: “Excuse me, did you not read the rules on the door on your way in?”(this was done in the best arrogant attitude this piece of shit could muster up)

ME: “Yes sir, I understand the rules, but we aren’t from Arifjan…”

2LT Ignorant Fuck: (interrupting me) “…Yes, you are from up north, I understand that, I know up north you probably don’t follow the rules like you should, but this is an actual base, and because we are a real base we have rules that you must follow.”

ME: *FUMING: thinking many things that I want to say, such as:
You stupid fuck, do you honestly think people up north give a shit about whether or not they have dirt on their pants when they go to the chow hall? Do you really have the audacity, the supercilious egotistical attitude to preach to me about your stupid rules, and the ignorance to try to apply your rules to what is going on up north in an ACTUAL combat zone??? WE ARE A LITTLE MORE WORRIED ABOUT GETTING FUCKING KILLED UP THERE THAN TO WORRY ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF DIRT YOU DOUCHEBAG BUTTER BAR!! *another part of me wanted to tell him that all my other uniforms were soaked with blood, but the non sarcastic, respectful part of me won over in the end:

“ I understand sir, I didn’t realize my clothing was this dirty”

During that entire time I was out in front of the chow hall brushing away my uniform while 2LT Ignorant Fuck lectured me on the finer points of anything I didn’t give a shit about.

You NEVER get attacked in Kuwait, it just doesn’t happen. That’s why when you see a t-shirt in the PX that says “Combat Proven: Arifjan, Kuwait” and you are from up north, you are required by the unwritten code of brothers in TRUE arms to laugh hysterically, at the very foolishness of thinking of Arifjan as a combat zone. I wanted to tell that lieutenant to shove this t-shirt right up his actual baseass, but I held my tongue till now haha.

Anyways, that’s been my last couple of weeks. Good hearty fun, low in cholesterol, high in sarcasm.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried
And still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to you door

The Long And Winding Road – The Beatles

Vrooom Vrooooooom!!

SO, here's the dilemma, I want to get a specific car when I get back home: the 2005 Dodge Neon SRT4 ACR. Now the problem. Dodge discontinued this car in November, the entire Neon platform was scrapped and has been replaced with the Caliber. Well, the Dodge Caliber looks like a freaking Ford Focus somewhat from the side, with a horrid 'miniaturized Dodge Durango' front end look to it. Holy God that thing is ugly!! It does grow on you a little, like mold I guess. Some people actually like the Caliber a lot (like spam, she's buying one haha!!)

Dodge says they are going to have a performance version from the SRT department (Special Research Team, the acronym for Dodge's performance division), but details on that are sketchy and rumors are running rampant all over the place. Current SRT4 motor, or the 'all world' 2.5 with a turbo? Will it be all wheel drive, or front wheel drive? Will they call it the Caliber SRT4 or will it be called the Caliber Rally Edition (this will likely be based on the drivetrain, SRT4 for FWD, or Rally Edition for the AWD version).

Some people have done PhotoShop versions of the vehicle and it's not too bad. So now I'm torn, do I buy one of the last of the Neons in the SRT4 ACR, if I can even find one? Or do I wait for a sportier version of the Caliber, that might be a total dud, ugly as sin? Choices, choices, stay tuned...

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I said I need you, does that make me wrong?
Am I a weak man, are you feeling strong?
My heart was blackened, it's bloody red
A hole in my heart, a hole in my head?

Addicted To Chaos - Megadeth

More Little Tidbits!!

I don't know what the deal is with the winter DCU tan boots, but the tread on them holds like 5 times the mud as the summers. Does anyone know what kind of nonsense this is? I mean, honestly, during the summer you aren't likely to get into mud much at all, yet the treads on these winter boots just get caked with mud and you drag it all over the freaking place. BAH, IRRITATING!

The military needs more acronyms. While on VCC the BC let my 1sg know that an E6 shouldn't be in charge, I should be a CC or ACC on a convoy in a 915. If you don't understand that, well, hell, even I don't fully understand what I just said. No one does more acronyms than the military, no one. It's really amazing trying to keep up. I catch myself trying to figure out the difference between MCT and TMC and CMT, wait, that's Country Music Television, and I hate that even more than acronyms.

This just in: I haven't drank from an actual 'glass' in months. I normally drink juice and milk from those cartons where you push the straw thru the top. Sometimes I will have an occasional soda. Just so belly knows, she'll have to train me remedially to drink from a glass, I think I've totally forgotten.

I wrestled a camel for $20 the other day, and no, it wasn't a sexual thing.

So, we had an intel report telling us to "Be on the lookout for bombs on bicycles and dogs..." DOGS?? Who is strapping bombs to dogs? Oh the insanity of it all. Although, I can't think of a better thing to do to any dog under 5 pounds. Except Jack Russel terriers, they don't deserve to be blown up. Poodles especially though, they should be strapped with bombs and blown to bits. Sorry, that's just the truth. Make the fur really fly. BEST IN SHOW!!

There isn't any decent bread in the entire middle east, not in any of our dining facilities or 'sanctioned' eateries. The only place you can get decent bread is from the Iraqis themselves, and it lasts about a day and then it's pretty dried out too. I swear I'm going to Subway when I get back, ordering a sandwich, and if they give me dried out bread someone I'm jumping the counter and smashing heads. I'll probably just ask for the freshest bread they have when they ask me what kind I want.

100 MPH Military green tape: 7723 uses and counting!!

I miss escorting local national workers around the base, I really miss the people, I'm no longer really learning any arabic because I don't have any ability to practice it.

Oh, I see Saddam Hussein is on a hunger strike. Excellent, I'll tell you what, you just continue that hunger strike and die on your own, so we can save a ton of money and idiotic media attention on your trial. Please, feel free to finish yourself off.

Oh, I was lying about wrestling a camel, that never happened. Honestly, it didn't.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Instrumental, Cantina Band - Star Wars Soundtrack, John Williams

An Open Letter To The Media

There is really no eloquent way to put this, other than to state my feelings about the media as follows: GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!! You are the ultimate definition of a sell out. You go for only the sensationalized attention grabbing bullshit 'news', and do your research poorly at that.

Why is it that there are a thousand good stories for every bad story that goes on over here in Iraq, yet you ignore anything positive about what is happening and focus solely on the negative. Not only that, but you leave out anything that can help explain HOW or WHY something happened, so as to make the actions of the military seem as evil as possible.

"Innocent Civilians Killed Today When The Military Fired Upon Their Vehicle"... without mentioning the vehicle drove up on a security checkpoint at 65 mph without slowing down, forcing the actions of the service members. Not only does it make the military look aggressively abusive, it paints the Iraqi people as incompetent morons, which is simply NOT true.

If nothing else, I'm glad I'm here just to get a first hand impression of what is really happening. Things are a lot better than you media types would have the general public believe. Yellow journalism has been around for a couple hundred years now, but with the current level of media coverage hammering away 24/7, with everything from O.J. to Katrina right in your face, up front and personal, it makes me wonder if it's now become a fatal disease killing off anything remotely resembling integrity or impartiality in the news media.

The world isn't all bad, hell, I'd say it's way more good than bad, but you'd never know it from watching The Nightly News. It's disappointing, and until the news in general quits emulating "Hollywood Insider Tonite Edition", it's not likely to change. That's pretty sad.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Peace is what they tell me
Love am I unholy
Lies are what they tell me
Despise you that control me

Torn - Creed

Turning On The TV In My Mind

I'm about to discuss something that has been going on lately that is likely to surprise a few people, belly included. I've read about a dozen books since I got to Iraq, about 8 to 10 in the last month since I began doing convoys. I've dabbled in Tom Clancy of course, read a little Clive Cussler, been enthralled by Michael Chrichton, and freaked out reading Dean Koontz.

During a 3 or 4 day period last week I was burning thru about a book every 24 hours, and I realized that I read stuff too fast haha. But seriously, I just picked up a dozen more books in a box when we were staying at Rasputan or Rumpleforeskin or whatever this base we went to was called, the name hurt my head trying to even remember it.

In time I'm going to do a few reviews of the books I've read thus far.

Little Bits Of Rambling

So, I chewed the other day, YES, that is right, I stuck in a dip of Skoal wintergreen and enjoyed a juicy little disgusting high. I believe this is the first time I’ve chewed this century!! I used to do it about once every six months as a junior and senior in college. It was disgusting then, it was disgusting now.

ASS body spray is absofuckinglutely disgusting. “No fraNk, it’s AXE body spray” no no I’m sorry, I am defining it by what it smells like. It curls my nose hairs, makes my eyes water, causes me to throw up a little in my throat, ‘it smells like bigfoot’s dick!!!’. I would sooner smell cheap old high school kid Stetson all day than that shit, yet so many guys buy ASS, must be the good marketing campaign. Well, I have yet to see any models jumping on any guys here in Iraq, but if it happens I’ll let you know.

I bought a bag. You know, I’m not even sure if I needed it, but I was at the PX, and I have been using my Gore Tex coat pockets as a bag, and it hasn’t been working out. Oh I started with my sunglasses and my gloves, but then it expanded to two pair of gloves (work and cold), my MP3 player, my digital camera, a couple of books to read, and after awhile I couldn’t even wear the coat without looking like I had just stolen something. So, $22 later I have a decent black bag. I could have gone no frills for $10 but hey, I thought I might use that outside mesh end pocket someday for something, along with the other 724 pockets this thing has.

I was thinking about Need For Speed Hot Pursuit for Playstation II (I think this was NFS III, or maybe IV, who knows, there have been so many in that line of games now), and I realized something funny. When the police chase you, they like to get on the car’s loudspeaker and yell things, like “PULL OVER NOW” and “YOU ARE RISKING YOUR LIFE!!” And other little gems like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” and “THIS IS FEDERAL PROPERTY” (you get that one if you smash into the cop car). Why do I bring all this up? Well, because another thing they yell into the loudspeaker is “AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” when they wreck, which is really funny, because I don’t think a cop is going to hit something, spin out of control in a horrible wreck, and reach for the P.A. microphone to yell out a death throe.

I have become a Frosted Blueberry Poptart and Otis Spunkmeyer muffin addict. They only have two flavors of Poptarts at the chow hall, that one and unfrosted strawberry. I need that frosting, so I go for the blueberry. The Otis Spunkmeyer muffins have 4 flavors, I rank them as follows:

1) Chocolate – 5 stars
2) Apple Cinnamon – 4.5 stars
3) Blueberry – 4.5 stars
4) Banana Nut – 4 stars

I have 4 chocolate muffins and 6 (2) packs of blueberry frosted poptarts in my fridge now. They are awesome snacks for the convoys we go on, toss them under the middle console and whenever you need them just grab one, and hope your bastard co driver didn’t steal them when you weren’t looking!! : ) The chow halls have so much food, I hope none of you worry about my starving, because I worry about getting too damn fat!!!

I realized yesterday that I have had the same cologne now for 10 years. Escape by Calvin Klein, which is a great cologne, don’t get me wrong, but I’m in danger of becoming my uncle, who still uses the goofy Avon cologne that comes in odd glass containers shaped like a car or golf clubs, trapped in the early 1970’s. I’m going to have to remedy this by purchasing a new cologne when I get home, I’m sure belly will have input on what I buy. Another cologne I used to have, in fact my first real designer cologne, was Safari, but I don’t know if they even make that anymore.

Let’s see, what else? Oh, the military over here can get so much stuff, sometimes it just seems crazy. Under Armour (no, I’m not going to burn in a horrible flaming accident, so please don’t worry about that, I rarely ever wear the shit, I favor my old 75/25 cotton poly blend triple Xlarge sweater that I got 10 or more years ago under my uniform), gore tex boots, etc. The latest gear is a Gerber multi-tool and a Bench Made knife, both of which will be sitting in my make shift tool box, never used due to my amazing Leatherman that I have had for more than 10 years now. Hmm, looks like my 10 year old sweater and leatherman blow the doors off all the new shit : ) Oh well, at least I have backup new fangled gear if my old shit should ever fail.

Today marked my 16th anniversary of being in the military. I took a moment to ponder that earlier today in a letter to my father. I hated it, I mean HATED it, when I first joined, how odd it is that I’m closing in on my 20 years. I can’t imagine how awful this deployment would have been as an E-1 to an E-3, thank God for my rank heh heh. For a variety of reasons, starting with shit jobs I don’t have to do, and ending with the money I’m making of course.

I saw that belly did a paper on same sex marriages. I know I’d probably fail that paper because I would guess our views are different haha. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, that marriage by definition is between a man and a woman, because it involves the whole aspect, the natural union with the possibility of childbirth, something that is utterly impossible for obvious reasons between homosexuals. HOWEVER, I do not have a problem with civil unions. This is coming from someone who had a ‘kill them all’ sort of attitude in high school about gays, but after making some friends while doing telemarketing, I realized that they are good people, even if I don’t completely agree with their lifestyle, I shouldn’t sit in judgment of them.

I miss belly, a lot. We’ve never been away from one another this long. There was probably only one time since 1995 when we went this long without talking (even though the first 2 years or so was probably me just being a totally insane person she saw, galavanting around on a chat line like an insane kid with attention deficit disorder). That one time would have been 1997 when I didn’t have internet access *GASP* (I know, OH THE HORROR). I have dreams of being back in Omaha sometimes, just doing the normal routine, and I wake up smiling, then aching because it’s been more than a year since we had any sort of routine going. But I also know the experiences we are having now are amazing, and most people will never get to go thru what we are doing. I could look at it in an angry sense and really make myself miserable during my time here, or I can accept this, look at the whole situation as though I’m on an extended vacation, albeit with strings attached of course heh heh. I imagine that someday, we’ll sit around and tell our grandkids stories about ‘the days we were in the military’, just like grandparents do now. I believe the military builds character and perseverance, and many other good traits. I know one thing, the distance certainly makes the heart grow fonder. Baby I do miss you. I love you.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Somebody come and play
Somebody come and play today
Somebody come and smile the smiles
And sing the songs, it won't take long
Somebody come and play today

An old Sesame Street jingle from when I was a tiny person

Terrible Bath Towel!!

So, here we are again, in our second home in Iraq, whose name happens to be a synonyn with serpent, snake, python, well, you get the picture. We have honestly spent more time here than we have in Tallil since the beginning of the year. We got in just before the end of the first quarter, I think maybe around 3 in the morning. So a few of us headed over to the transient housing tv room and watched the game on the big screen television with about 20 other soldiers who were already present.

Anyways, there are a couple of Steeler fans in there and one of them happens to have this yellow towel he is waving around and hooting and hollering, which made me kind of chuckle. SPC Jansen started cheering for Seattle, not because he's a Seattle fan, but because Jansen seems to enjoy riling people up, just to be funny. And to be honest, it was quite funny watching him bitching and moaning, trying to be so serious, while Mr Terrible Towel yacked it up with him about seemingly every play, much to the faux mournful disposition of one SPC Jansen.

Of course I joined in with my usual assortment of odd comments and insanity. All of our guys laughed when I asked aloud about the possibility of purchasing a Terrible Bath Towel. Unfortunately Mr Terrible Towel didn't seem to get my humor he just turned with this questioning look on his face, but his buddy laughed, so at least I know I still have some ability to move the masses thru my outlandish behavior.

I am quite ashamed, as the self admitted rabied football fan that I am, to admit that I was unable to stay awake for the game and I had to go to bed. Of course, I can imagine belly is cackling about that one, knowing how I normally walk thru fire and eat broken glass just to watch a good football game. Not sure how good this one was, as I said before, our fake Seahawk's fan had a ball pretending to NOT enjoy the game, and he had ample opportunity to act out his frustration. All in all, it was pretty funny, something to giggle away about as I slipped off into oblivious sleep and dreams of San Diego and snuggling away with my girl.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Midnight the moons up, hands around your tin cup
The frost settles in on the sage
The night gettin' colder, well man you're gettin' older
Tonight you're feeling your age

Ridin' For A Fall - Chris Ledoux

The Husker Experience

There is a particular phenomenon that Nebraskans have accepted as part of their everyday lives, an experience that most do not understand, and trying to explain it is difficult, but I will do my best. What I am talking about of course, is Nebraska football.

A friend once told me that even Forrest Gump talked of the mighty Big Red, “we was playin them cornshucker bastids from Nebraska”, a testament to how much Alabama fans hated the Huskers. This was a sentiment held dear by many football faithful who liked any team OTHER than the Huskers. I’m quite certain that belly didn’t know what she was in for when we began dating, how Saturdays each fall are set aside for several hours of hooting and hollering, jumping around, nail biting, and high fiving. It’s a time for reverting back to your caveman roots, and she seems to accept it now, albeit with a funny grin and shake of the head. But I don’t know if she really understand the true influence of Nebraska football.

Nebraska football has enjoyed 35 years of success unlike any other time period in the history of major sports. By major sports I mean the money making sports, NFL and NCAA football, NBA and NCAA basketball, Major League Baseball, Hockey, and even NASCAR. Nebraska has had the best winning percentage over the past 35 years of any team in these sports, and 5 national titles, along with an astonishing 109 wins, 16 losses, and 1 tie in the 1990’s, for an 86.9% winning percentage with 3 national titles during that decade. In the argument about who has the best team of all time, Nebraska consistently fields 3 to 4 teams in the top 10, along with the most widely recognized team for the top spot, the 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers.

It’s hard for someone outside of Nebraska to understand the tenacious love we have for our team, the undying loyalty to the crimson and cream. They fail to understand how a big win can solidify our faith that all is right with the world, how a loss is a devastating blow that crumbles the very foundations of the earth. Nebraska has no pro sports franchises. Nebraska basketball is mediocre at best, and many times you can find the people who are at those games or watching them at home using the time as a forum to get together and discuss football games from the past year, or to discuss current recruiting for the season coming up.

Sure, the Husker baseball team has been doing well, but hey, that’s only for a few years now, and look around at any baseball game and you’ll see as many Husker football jerseys as you see baseball ones. It’s not meant as an insult to the baseball players. That’s just how things work in this region. You have Nebraska football, then you have, well, everything else.

If you are in your 20’s and 30’s and have lived your whole life Nebraska, you don’t remember becoming a Nebraska Cornhusker fan, because there was never a time when you were NOT one. As sure as you were born with 10 toes and 10 fingers, you were born with the Big Red “N” stamped into your heart. Growing up in this blanket of red, you become accustomed to Nebraska football and the winning that goes with it. On the day I was born, Nebraska was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and the number one team in the land. I didn’t nearly so much become a Husker fan as much as I reverse inherited my way into it.

Of course I do not remember this, but it should demonstrate the atmosphere that I and a million or more other Nebraska children grew up in. Some of my earliest memories are of my dad and his cousins, sitting around the television at the farm, watching Nebraska play Oklahoma. This by no mere coincidence was also where I likely had my first taste of the more “colorful” elements of the English language, as pillows were beaten, desperate prayers were said aloud, and all with the hope that “we” could beat those lousy Sooners.

Referring to the team as “us”, and how “we” were playing, is commonly heard throughout the state. No, we aren’t sitting in the locker room, we aren’t out there on the playing field, no we are not on the team. But “we” are all in this together, win or lose, how “we” play can dictate how the next week goes at work, or how the talk over the 7 months of the off season is directed.

Game days were as religiously followed as going to church itself, maybe even more so than that. The meat, charcoal, chips, and beer are purchased in preparation. Phone calls are made, “where are you watching the game this weekend??”, and whenever you had a chance to secure tickets to the game itself, you did whatever you could to join 80,000 other Husker faithful in the Sea of Red at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln. If you could, you’d buy tickets to some of the away games too, and make sure that Lawrence, Manhattan, Boulder, Ames, and other college towns were painted red for just one day, so that they would know who they were dealing with.

If you had to work, well you damn sure had the game on the radio so you would never miss a play. Regardless of where you were in the world, you seemed to always be joined by other Husker faithful, surrounding that radio, Husker gear out and worn in full gala, to listen to Nebraska lay a whipping down on another opponent. You wore that “N” with the utmost pride, supporting your team with gusto.

Winning in Nebraska was expected, it always happened. Yeah, you had Oklahoma and more often than not, the game with them was a life altering tragedy, at least for a few days following. Sure there were plenty of *@(*#’ing bowl games that didn’t go according to plan, but those were always the last two games of the season, and you could deal with that, as painful still as it was. The rest of the year, however, wasn’t about if Nebraska would beat someone, it was about how badly the Huskers were going to crush their opponent.

Ending the year with a loss, even two, was never the end of the world. Oh, sure, it stung like hell, it hurt, but you knew that next year, oh yah, next year, we’d be right back in it again, going into the Oklahoma game undefeated, with another chance at a national title on the line (Nebraska v.s. Oklahoma was the final game of the season for both teams for many years). “Next year, we are gonna win it all!!” And you never knew anything else, you could basically deal with failure in every other area of your life, because the Huskers were always going to catch you when you’d fall.

You could easily measure everything else in your life by Nebraska football, it was the gold standard, there was nothing else remotely like it. Crappy week at work? Bad morning fishing or hunting? Girlfriend dump you? Hey man, don’t worry about it, you always had the huskers to fall back on. Forget about your worries and watch the Big Red destroy Missouri for the 25th year in a row. No need to feel down, the Huskers just put 48 points on the board against Iowa State… in the first half!!

The 1990’s were the pinnacle of this time period. Championships were won, expectations were fulfilled. The world was right, nothing could go wrong. Then, suddenly, Dec. 10, 1997, Tom Osborne holds a press conference to announce his retirement following the end of the season. This was as close to a 9.9 magnitude earthquake as Nebraska has ever known. I was shaken, born in 1972, to me, Tom Osborne WAS Nebraska football, he embodied everything that being a Husker was, he was the only person that I had ever known as the coach, and this was the first crack in the previously unshakable foundation I knew as Husker football.

Oh, the team did reasonably well for a few years, things still seemed okay. Nebraska even played for a national title again in 2002, and we lost, but there was next year right? No, the next fall the world came crumbling down. Loss after heartbreaking loss, and suddenly for the first time in my life, my beloved Huskers were mortal, average at best, going 7-6 in the regular season and losing the bowl game to finish even at 7-7. You couldn’t count on a win religiously every Saturday any longer, and it was devastating to behold. That rock, that immovable force, that “sure thing” by which all else could be measured, it was completely gone, and gone with it the innocent faith in the world you’d become so accustomed to. For the first time, next season wasn’t about getting to another national title game, it was fear, fear of the unknown, fear of another horrible season.

After another year, a new coach, and on the surface, more realistic expectations. Teams throughout football are more evenly matched than ever, you can’t just expect huge wins over every team you play. But underneath it all, deep inside, there is still that innocent 15 year old boy, who still holds dear that Husker tradition as the foundation of his life, still bleeding red to support his team, still waiting for that next big win, that next shot at the national title. It is this that defines the Husker faithful, that builds the undying loyalty that, despite what any fans of any other team may claim, brings the Big Red faithful together as the best fans of any team on the face of the earth.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The sky is falling on this setting sun
Echoes of silence ringing loud and long
This isolation is the king of pain
A lost horizon in an ocean of flames

Desert Song - Def Leppard

And The White Line's Getting Longer, And This Saddle's Getting Cold

So, I think I have been at the place we are deployed to for a total of about 3 days this year thus far, other than that we are continually on the road, picking up everything from junk to concrete barriers to HUMVEEs. I don't think there has ever been another time in my life where I have so completely lost track of what day it is or even what TIME of the day it is, other than if the sun is out or not.

I have fielded a variety of questions about one particular thing lately in my email and from other people I know, basically revolving around "How are you able to do what you guys do, I would be so scared!!!" Well, I suppose you could dwell on that, but honestly, you have the risk of wrecking your car every time you go out the door and get inside to go for a drive to the grocery store, but do you think about it all the time? No. On my first convoy I was scared shitless, I was staring at the road all day, then that night I was still staring into the ditches, at every bump alongside the road, in every crater, pothole, up at ever overpass, until I was about losing my mind.

The next day I revamped my thoughts about that, what good does it do? There is so much junk alongside the roads here that you really can't keep track of what is or is not a bomb or just random shit laying out there, so to stare at every pile of junk, dirt clod, etc, while flying down the road, is pointless. Honestly, most of the people being killed by roadside bombs these days are those people who get out of their vehicles and do stupid shit and stand on the shoulder without checking to see if there is anything suspicious out there. I try to not even get out of my truck.

The other nice thing is that our semi trucks sit high off the ground and are very well armored. If you wear all of your armor in combination with that, you are well protected. I just want everyone to know that things, while dangerous at times, are not something to dwell on constantly, or it will drive you bonkers.

Now, about other things. Baghdad is interesting. We drove thru it late at night, and talk about crazy, the area we went through was cluttered on either side with a plethora of roadside stands, junk EVERYWHERE, and 5 story buildings on both sides. It's eerie because in a city of 6 million or so, there was NOTHING going on, for good reason I am sure, at night is when the insurgency is at it's most active, so a lot of the Iraqi people try to avoid these murdering foreigners who call themselves 'freedom fighters' by staying off the streets at night.

Chow halls are pretty much the same everywhere we go. And they aren't all that bad. I think Baskin Robbins probably makes a killing over here, and that's fine with me, I love Cookies N Cream ice cream haha. Anyways, that's about all I have to say at this time. I hope you are all doing well, I have a lot of posts ready to be typed up but they are out in the truck and it's pouring rain right now so I'll wait till I get back to Tallil to actually type them up!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

This ol' highway's getting longer
Seems there ain't no end in sight
To sleep would be best, but I just can't afford to rest
I've got to ride in Denver tomorrow night

Much Too Young - Garth Brooks

Fun Facts About Chuck!!

I found a fun little website, here are some facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "who has more testicles?" contest. He won by 5

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Want more? Go now to The Chuck Norris Fact Website, but please, please, do not fuck with Chuck!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Never forget the blood sweat and tears
The uphill struggle over years the fear and
Trash talking and the people it was to
And the people that started it just like you

Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park

You Get What You Give!!!

So, lets see, a village invites Al-Qaeda terrorists in for a celebration and they get bombed? And we are supposed to feel sorry for them, because women and children were killed? Well, I'll tell you this much, if you invite people like that into your home while they are basically waging war on other innocent civilians, you can shut the fuck up about an apology, you got what you deserved. Oh, lets see, did this bomb maker and others ever kill women and children, in fact TARGETING anyone they could, regardless of who they were going to kill? Hmm, lets see... YES, they most certainly did. So isn't it a real stretch to expect anyone to have sympathy when they invite these pieces of shit into their village and MAKE themselves a target?? They got what they deserved.

In other news, I'm in my second home again. I'm starting to know Anaconda better than Tallil haha.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I have no clue, once again the local nationals running the computer labs here have me at a loss, this time it's hit music from the 90's, love songs, but they are sung by someone else.

CRAP - WHO CARES

The Movie Groundhog Day, IN HELL!!

Okay, so I've been stuck in Anac(X)nda Iraq now for like more than a week. Let me tell you about the typical day here... We wake up at about noon (because we drive at night of course), then eat, maybe walk around in the pathetic horribly inadequate PX for a while in the afternoon, or use the computers, if by some act of God they aren't shut down for a blackout, then be sure to be on the bus that can take up to two hours to get you back to the other side of post to get ready to go sit in the trucks for 5 hours to find out that we can't leave the base again, go to bed at 6 in the morning when we finally get rooms again, get up at noon and start all over again!! Oh, Bill Murray didn't know how good HE actually had it!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

MORE shit by Bryan Adams, not even worth mentioning, it's SHIT! STUPID MWR GREATEST HITS CD!!

MORE SHIT - Bryan Adams

*(@&(!ING EXPRESSO!!!

So, it appears that someone tried to bomb Starbucks in San Fransisco today. I guess someone finally realized they were paying far too much for dirtwater and they decided to get even. Oh, don't even argue with me on this one, people. 7 dollars for a glass of filthy sweet smelling dirt water? It's not worth it, it's an overpriced example of capitalistic madness!! BOUT TIME SOMEONE BOMBED THOSE ECONOMIC GLUTONOUS PIGS!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Some shit by Bryan Adams, not even worth mentioning, it's SHIT!

Shit - Bryan Adams

Some Of The Best Things In Life Are Total Mistakes

As I look back at the last year, it’s amazing where I am in comparison to where I was one year ago today. One year ago today I was single, living in a nice little quaint apartment in Omaha with my girlfriend, getting ready for belly to leave for Marine boot camp. Oh what a difference 365 days makes. Today here I am in Iraq, belly is now a marine stationed in California of all places, and it will likely be another year before we are actually back living a normal life together.

A year ago right now I thought I could remain friends with someone I had once wronged, but unfortunately that was not to be. That’s where this phrase comes into play. Some of the best things in life are total mistakes. I hold regret over how I acted at one time in my life, but I had to come to the realization that there are only so many times that one may apologize for something, to go beyond that is to compromise becoming a better person.

During this year I realized I needed to dedicate myself to belly, not so much to spite anyone else, but because it was time to move on. I came to realize I was holding onto someone from the past and not recognizing her for who she was now and that wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair to myself, it wasn’t fair to belly, and it certainly wasn’t fair to my former significant other. So that being said, she seems to be really happy now, which is good. It was hard to let go of the idea of being friends, but that wasn’t meant to be. Some of the best things in life, well, they most certainly are mistakes. But it’s better to remember what was good.

A year ago right now I was feeling really irritated with myself for not having put more planning into getting an engagement ring, and missing out on asking belly to marry me 2 years to the day we first spent Christmas together. Note to any guy looking to get married: buying a ring is not an impulse buy, and honestly, you better let your prospective fiancé do the picking, unless you know a hell of a lot more about diamonds than I did.

We were married in July, more than a full year earlier than we expected, and with that the preparation to head over to a country as literally foreign to me in geography as in culture. What I have learned is how diverse and proud a people the Iraqis truly are. I have learned a lot more than that, and I continue to educate myself with each day. For this next year, I look forward to taking care of myself and my troops, continuing to improve myself both mentally and physically, and holding onto that day when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms again. I’ll get that chance for a couple of weeks in April, but I’m talking about really being home, regardless of where that may be. I really don’t care where we are at, as long as I have belly with me, it’s home, and that’s how it should be.

New years resolutions: Take better care of my body (eat better, exercise more), I’m not fat mind you, but I want to be a leaner meaner me. And quit swearing so much, I don’t fucking swear all the god damn time, but shit, I do enough : )

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Through all the happiness and sorrow,
I guess i'd do it all again.
Live for today and not tomorrow,
it's still the road that never ends.

Road To Nowhere – Ozzy Osbourne