The Ire Of Cancer Sticks

It’s hard for me to put into words just how irritating and downright angry I get at cigarette smokers. Smoking is a disgusting and reprehensible filthy habit, there is nothing sophisticated about giving a blow job to about what, a thousand or so chemicals, nothing cool about spreading your grimy smoke all over others who do not want to be around that shit.

I have never in my life been around smokers so completely inept of courteous behavior, devoid of the ability to see how fucking completely and totally rude they are when they light up in a group. Let me give you the basic scenario:

We have meetings here, all the time. That’s part of what being in the military is all about. Technically, it’s an informal formation. For whatever reason, even on days when everyone has had the ENTIRE fucking day off, smokers choose that time when we have our meetings to go ahead and light up while standing in the midst of everyone, puffing away on that repulsive smoldering tar stick, as though they are the only persons around.

Oh and then mention something NICELY to them about not smoking around people and they laugh, as though it’s some joke to pollute my and everyone else’s lungs in the area who have no intention of smoking and feel the same way I do about it. So then you have to be downright mean and tell them straight up to put the cigarette out. For me this means pulling rank, which I don’t like to do, but with people who are completely at a loss for manners and common decency, I guess that they just need to be treated like fucking children, and scolded like a bunch of 1st graders. I’ve even had to go so far as having formal formations just to get my point across, since the informal group meetings seem to be invitations to smoke away, oblivious to how offensive and discourteous their behavior is.

And how ridiculous is it that smokers are designated their own breaks to take care of their habits, whether it be at work or whatever. If you are a non smoker, are you able to ask for 3 or more 15 minute breaks during your work period. Oh some of us are, but I’ve been around work settings, military and otherwise, where people act like “You don’t smoke, what do you need a break for?” Well fucknut, if you are giving a break to them it’s only fair that you give a break to everyone, common sense dictates that, dipshit!!

I wonder sometimes if I should feel bad for anyone who has such a pathetically poor self image or self esteem that they feel the need to put that shit in their body in the first place. This goes for smoking weed or other drugs. It’s no religious belief or country hick upbringing of mine either, its fucking common sense, a person should work to fulfill their lives in other ways. This is how I’ve always felt about this. My strong desire to NOT smoke cigarettes or other items is by no means a weakness or character defect, if anything the complete audacity and immaturity of anyone who would believe that is utterly appalling, especially considering that it is character defects and weaknesses that draw people into tobacco and drugs.

Normally I wouldn’t judge anyone on this basis, but lately I’ve become perturbed with smokers in general deployed around me, our unit must have about 65% smokers, at LEAST, and their lacksidasical attitude about being considerate to others pisses me off, to be blunt. That and a couple of other distant recollections of comments about it, and I figured I would get my point across. I’m not concerned about stepping on toes, if you smoke, you are the one fucking stupid enough to sign your own death warrant, don’t drag me in with you. I love the moronic statements smokers defend themselves with, like “well, something has got to kill me.” Oh, yah, so let’s take chance out of the equation and incur the equivalent of a 40 to 50 year suicide rather than let mother nature take it’s course.

Smoking is just as sure suicide as putting the barrel of a gun in your mouth and pulling the trigger. It just happens to take a bit longer for the cancerous bullet to do it’s dirty deed. Got a problem with my opinions on this matter? So fucking what, I can’t even come up with a reasonable equivalent as to an analogy for how smokers treat others, save for maybe going right up to where you are eating, dropping my pants and taking a shit on your plate, because that’s how violating smoke is to non smokers.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a…
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of…
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Ænema – Tool

New Site Fo' Shizzle!!

Ever want to speak more eloquently using a more urban speaking type?
Well, are you ever in luck, try the Gizoogle translater to make your
favorite web pages totally pimp. Go to Gizoogle and try it out now,
don't be left behind of the urban movement, make sure your kids know
what you are talking about!!

Here's what it does for one famous song:

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The long n wind'n road T-H-to-tha-izzat leads ta yo door,
wizzill pimp disappear,
I've seen thiznat road before it always leads me here
Leads me ta yo door.

The wild n windy night tizzle tha rain washed away,
Has left a poo` of tears cry'n fo` tha day
Why leave me stand'n here, let me kniznow tha way
Many times I've been alone n many times I've cried
Anyway you'll neva kizzle tha many ways I've tried
And stiznill they lead me bizzay ta tha long n mackin' road
You left me rhymin' here a long, long tizzle ago
Don't leave me ballin' here, lead me ta you dizzy

But still they lead me back ta tha long n chillin' road
You left me stand'n here a long, long tizzle ago
Don't keep me wait'n hizzy (Don't kizzy me wait), lead me ta you door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Da Long N' Witizzle to da din' Road - The Beatles

Yet ANOTHER Website

One thing about internet search pages, they are woefully inadequate in terms of finding out where PEOPLE are at, unless the person in question does a LOT of internet activity involving their real name. I always figured you’d have to pay to use one of the better websites to search for people, but I was wrong. I found an awesome people finder site:

ZABASEARCH!!

I even found my old roommate from college on this, not that I’ll ever contact the asshole. He’s known where I’ve been for 10 years now and made no effort whatsoever to find me. Anyways, not going to be bitter about him, people who turn their backs on former friends are a pathetic waste of space. Let it be there problem, they nearly always end up in a sad lonely existence later on.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

If you’ve got some time to kill
Slow resistance wins the war
Well I know
But that’s no way to go
You can’t resist the louder pull

Loud Love – Soundgarden (1989)

*interesting fact about this song, it was from the album titled Louder Than Love, which originally was supposed to have been titled Louder Than Fuck, in typical Soundgarden fashion. Of course their record label had a conniption and the band relented. To this day I believe Soundgarden is far and away a better band overall than Nirvana. Nirvana was lyrically brilliant but musically challenged at best. Dave Grohl was the only person with any real musical talent, sure, Cobaine could write lyrics, but damn he sucked as a guitar player, let’s be honest here.

Unholy Indulgence In Internet Archivals!!!

Wouldn’t you like to check out an old website that no longer exists, to go back in time and look around, sort of like reading an old favorite book you hadn’t read in years? WELL JOYFUL SALUTATIONS!! THERE IS A WAY!! Some archiving website has like ELEVENTY FOUR BILLION PAGES saved on it, I’m not really sure how many that is in English, because I don’t know the metric system that well, but this is where it’s located at:

The Wayback Machine!!

You just put the old address into the search string and voila… the old archives show up. Not all websites work, but quite a few I tried did. I spent quite a while traveling down ole’ memory road. You can find yourself doing that a lot over in this place.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Heretics and hypocrites
wear the same face through the years
Of telling lies and laying blame
Damn the fire to feed the flame
I'll dance I'll sing
I'll try to fade their images planted in your head

Heaven – Better Than Ezra (1995)

Animal Crackers In My Soup

First off, a big thank you to belly’s mother, for a wonderful care package she sent to me, that included Oreo cookies, Nutter Butters, Scooby Doo fruit roll-ups, Pirates of the Caribbean fruit snacks (what sort of obscure food is this? Haha, it tastes good, but Pirates of the Caribbean?? What does that have to do with a fruity snack?), beef jerky, Koolaid, Frosted Caramel Chocolate Pop Tarts (do these even classify as pop tarts? I mean honestly, it’s more like a chocolate pastry, when I think of pop tarts, I think of a fruit filled type pastry, this thing is more like a flat donut/candybar. Of course, that didn’t stop me from eating them.)

Also included, among other items, were Barnum’s Animals Crackers. I haven’t had those in years. How interesting is it to eat something that you haven’t eaten in such a long time and get a flood of memories. They say that smell is the strongest trigger for recollection, and I believe taste is included with that. Don’t believe me? Open up a container of PlayDoh sometime, or a box of Crayola crayons, and take a big sniff. You’ll be amazed. If you are still skeptical, go ahead and eat them.

But anyways, back to the original post, I appreciated the box of goodies, I think someone is trying to give me goodies cuz I have a hole in my back heh heh. Hey, I’ll take them, for whatever reason!! I have a wonderful family, that is for sure!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I took a look inside your bedroom door
You looked so good lying on your bed
Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love
You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead

Rock And Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution – AC/DC

Late Nights At The Operations Center

I took over a couple of weeks ago for the night shift NCO at our company operations center while he goes home for his break, which works out pretty nice for me, considering that I had that lump removed from my back so I’m restricted from wearing the ballistic armor vest until it heals up. So far it’s healing up nicely, initially they thought it would have taken less time but they didn’t realize just how deeply they had cut into my back so I’m working on another 10 days of restricted duty till they can be sure it’s healed up right.

Not a whole lot happens at night, we monitor the different communications devices, drive back and forth from battalion to pick up and deliver paperwork, keep track of who comes around the company motor pool (pretty much no one), and until that stupid pond out in front is gone, we have to clean the water out of the bunker (for some reason the hole they dug to hold the water from the December to February rains ended up tapping into the bunker itself and leaking more than 250 gallons a night into the old operations center, so we’ve moved upstairs until that pond dries out again.)

I did notice something that made me snicker… we purchase a lot of the bootleg movies over here to watch, on DVD, and while some are pretty decent quality, most have some sort of glitches or problems. Well, we were watching one last night and they actually had the anti piracy preview recorded right along with the rest of the movie. “You wouldn’t steal a car, would you?” Yah, that one. I thought that was hilarious. Nothing like being thorough in your dubbing processes, watching the anti-piracy warning on a pirated dvd.

Anyone that is overseas in the military knows about the use of phone cards, DSN lines and all that. Has anyone else noticed how irritating the cards have gotten lately? When did they turn into a 10 minute process of button pushing and irritating advertisements just to make a phone call with a product that you paid for?

“Thank you for using the AT&T US Postal Service phone card. Here at the US Postal Service we are willing to work with all of you…” *I press 1 to cut that off*

“For English press 1, for Espanol…” *1*

“Enter your card number now” *enter the pin number*

“Now you can use your AT&T phone card for local movie listings, restaurant reviews, and…”*1 GRRRR*

For a call within the United States, Canada, or the Caribbean…” *1*

“You may dial now” *dial the phone number, FINALLY*

“Remember the US Postal Service for all your shipping and…” *1 DAMMIT*

“Your phone card has ### minutes remaining, when you hear… *1 GEESH!!!*

“Thank you for all you do to keep the hope and spirit of…” *1, CHRIST ALREADY!!*

“DIALING” *ABOUT DAMN TIME!!*

I do believe that when I get back, I’m going to look up the lady from the phone card and give her the beating of a lifetime, all in the spirit of hope and all the other bullshit she talks about on my phone card : )

I’ve been feeding a new addiction at night now, called “PINBALL”. That’s right folks, it’s the pinball game you can find on most newer computers, and I’ve become addicted to it. Has anyone else? I have spent hours inventing new and more interesting swear words to yell at the computer when it CHEATS and knocks the ball back behind the paddles or right down the middle where I can’t stop it!! Of course this happens during the lonely hours at night out at the operations center. My high score is 9.6 million, I can't seem to get even close to that again haha.

One thing I probably shouldn’t say but I will anyway, that song “Loving you, is easy cuz you’re beautiful…”, yah, well, the guy I work with at night and I were trying to hit the high note, and needless to say, we were at least 4 octaves off, how the hell does she do that? Anyone who has heard that song knows exactly what I’m talking about, “doo en doo en doo oooh, ahhhhhhh”. Yah, don’t ask, we get freaking bored as hell at night sometimes, SO DON’T JUDGE US!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I was thinking maybe later on,
we could get together for awhile
It’s been such a long time,
and I really do miss your smile.

I’d Really Love To See You Tonite – Barry Manilow