Contemplating The Sand Box

At this point in time, no one in the unit knows exactly when or MOB (mobilization) date is. I have talked to the company commander and our detachment acting first sergeant, and both say the same thing: Some high ranking person in the Pentagon knows and has yet to decide the information is on a 'need to know' basis for us.

Best guess goes as follows. Likely time frame for MOB to begin: sometime between July 15th and August 15th. When this happens, we will all meet at the armory and spend a day or two getting things ready there, then head to another armory to prep for traveling to either Fort Riley, Kansas, or to Fort Hood, Texas. Hopefully it's Riley, although I have never been to Hood, Riley is just closer to home and that tends to be more favorable.

At Fort Riley/Hood, we would 'gear up/train up' for deployment to the Sand Box, getting desert cammie uniforms and any other equipment/clothing we would need, then spending time learning about all the different situations that can occur in a hostile environment and how we can deal with those. Should the unit learn everything quickly we will be done with this in 60 days. If we have problems it will be 90 days. We will be done in 60 days, we are high speed/low drag, trust me on this one. If not, we would have never been able to do the previous mission that was just handed off to the 600th Transportation so we could go overseas.

So, I guess the question left to answer goes as follows: How do I feel about my impending deployment to the middle east? This is a complicated question. Do I enjoy the idea of being away from home, away from my sweetheart, having my wedding canceled, and being put into harm's way? Certainly those are not enjoyable thoughts to have. However, with 15 years in, I have never gone overseas, never been involved in any sort of deployment into a hostile environment, and to be perfectly honest, I may never have this chance again. Certainly I do not want anything bad to happen to me, but all the same, these are opportunities that will never come around again. You are only young once. Also, our unit is one of only like half a dozen or so transportation units in the nation that have not been deployed, this goes for reserve and full timers, so it was certainly our turn.

The money is good too, I've been trying to figure out just exactly how much an E-6 Staff Sergeant with 15 years in would make, but there are no real reliable ways to figure it out exactly. I know it's above 50K, but I've also heard some people say it's closer to 75,000, so who knows? I will find that out I'm sure before I go over, and from there I will work out a budget to take care of any bills that belly and I will incur while I'm gone, and still have enough to A) move to be with her when I get back B) put away about 10,000 for a downpayment when we decide to get a house C) pay off the truck D) pay off debts E) BUY MY SRT4!!!

This time will also be an excellent opportunity for our unit to bond and become a much more cohesive and mission capable group of soldiers, with experiences that we can someday tell children and grandchildren, and new members who join our unit. Our unit has a proud history dating back to WWI and WWII as infantry, and a lot of the NCO's within the unit are trained 11B Infantry, Ft. Benning children. I know this knowledge that those of us who have a primary MOS of 11B have will come in handy. Certainly I pray we never have to use it, but it's good to know we are skilled in those areas, and that will rub off on the younger troops who are merely 88M (transportation).

The biggest concern I have is being separated from my better half, from the one person who enriches my life so much. I'm already away from belly as we speak, and that's hard enough, but I am confident we will have a couple of months together before she heads off for her MOS school, likely to be in Pensacola, Florida. But the idea of being separated for a year is supremely difficult to ponder, and although I know it will be a one day at a time thing, it's still so hard to think about. If I didn't trust her so completely it would be harder, though. Thankfully we have come so far in the last year, trust has been earned, and that's a wonderful thing.

So, in to sum it up, I'm actually looking forward to this deployment, but it's tempered. Both by the thought of being away from belly, and also the dangers I will face. But I am am supremely confident in my own abilities and in the abilities of my unit as a whole, and that is enough to give me peace of mind. And I know that the one person I'd rather be with than any other in this world or the next, will be waiting for me to return : )

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The grass was greener, The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter, The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded, The dawn mist growing
The water flowing, The endless river

-High Hopes, Pink Floyd

PT Test Coming Up!!

We have a military physical training test coming up the 21st of May, so I'm trying to increase my workouts. Tonite I went to Offutt and had a rather bad workout. But, even though it didn't go like I wanted, I can tell that my abs are a lot stronger than they have been in years, from all my situps and bicycle kicks I've been doing lately. I know this because I'm able to keep my pace up and my breathing fairly regular as I run even though I'm tired. I ran the entire 4 miles and did both sets of pushups/situps/bicycle kicks, but I was only able to ride the stationary bike for about 10 minutes because I had a severe cramp setting in on my right calf muscle.

I had my weight down to 180, but I'm up about 187 now, after about a month solid of eating fast food at least once a day haha. Hopefully I can get that down to 180 again by the 20th, because, lemme tell you, you can run a LOT faster and feel less winded dropping even 5 lbs off. My biggest concern right now is my pushups though. I have trouble even hitting 50 right now, a far cry from my goal of 85 for this PT test or 100 by August. I think this is mostly because of my job, because after lugging around about 200 windshields during the day, your muscles are pretty tired by the end of the day, and even in the morning many times you will still feel the effects of a particularily strenuous day.

I still have to work my way up though, because if you stop doing pushups for even a month or so (as I did), you seem to lose any progress you had made. I was doing about 70 pretty easily before I got sick in February, now I have a short time to try and do better than that. I'm not TOO worried about it. When you take the actual test, your first 30 or so pushups are all adrenaline anyway, from the excitement, then after that you settle in, try to remember to breathe, and crank them out, 10 at a time.

The situps, well, as long as someone decent is holding my feet I'm okay, I should get 90 without too much effort, but I'm going to gun for 100. The run is always my thing, and I haven't ever been beaten in military competition, but the last couple of years have been really hard to stay ahead of the younger guys getting in. I'm guessing it won't be as hard this time, I've been running quite a bit since the New Year, where as in years past I would do it on sheer will power and determination more so than training beforehand.

I've also been eating better. No fast food leading up to this PT test. Hell, hopefully none after the test either, but I have to be a realist. Oh, speaking of food, I have something to say about the salads that seem to be all the rage these days, from Wendy's to McDonalds to the ritzier places like Panera bread. Who in the hell eats raisins, dates, oranges, cranberries, or any variety of freaking NUTS on their salad???? That is just weird as hell, if you eat something like that you should immediately be committed for your odd behavior. What's next, whipped cream with cherry sauce topping for steak?? YUCK!!

Whoever is coming up with these weird combinations is just loony. I have to think that the only reason people are eating this rubbish is to they can act all worldly and 'food fashionable' while they are thinking to themselves "What the fuck am I doing this tastes like shit!!" Salad is lettuce, tomatos, carrots, cucumbers, croutons, bacon bits, and salad dressing. Feel free to add some pasta salad as a side, and cottage cheese too. Hell, even toss a pickle in there. But dammit, leave the fruit for the cereal!!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

When I came to visit you
That's when I knew, that I could never have you
I knew that before you did, still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning, like there's always been,
And I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive

-Motorcycle Drive By, Third Eye Blind

1200 Seconds Of Bliss

My days from January thru March were that of constant waiting to get done with work and get home, to check the mail, to see if, hopefully, belly had a chance to get a letter off to me. And to open the mailbox and find a letter was utter elation, but even if there wasn't a letter there, it wasn't too disappointing. That anticipation would just build up for the next night, because if she couldn't get a letter sent one day she almost always had one sent the next.

Nowadays she can call me on the cell phone, but the service isn't that great around her area, so she has to stand in specific areas of her squad bay in order to get good reception, such as, oddly enough, sitting curled up inside the television stand in the back of the platoon bay. This isn't the most comfortable situation, but it's good enough so that we can enjoy one another's company, even if it be only electronically through the wonders of the digital phone network. Also, she's one hour ahead of me, so when she calls me at 7:30 my time, it's already 8:30 her time. Because she gets up at around 4 a.m. every morning, I know I can't keep her on the phone for very long, so she can get to bed at a decent time, and not keep others up in her platoon bay.

So for the rest of the day, it's just waiting... and lately trying to do little things to prepare for my deployment. belly and I have been together for more than 2 years, and over time our relationship has only gotten better. Certainly we have our disagreements, but regardless of the situation, we always came out on the other side stronger than ever. Whenever my friends would get married, I'd find myself wondering if I'd ever find anyone that I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with. I would look at who I was with and think to myself "well, I guess you just settle for the person you are with." I am so thankful now that things DIDN'T work out with them. I'm glad I found someone who showed me how wrong I was about just settling.

It's interesting that you can work so hard to try and save something that wasn't ever meant to be, and you can look back afterwards and wonder just what the hell you were trying to hold onto in the first place. I remember something someone told me once, a little adage that say so much. "Sometimes the heart has reasons that reason does not understand". Looking back over a lot of my life's experiences, this statement applies so often. I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, regardless of why. A relationship can never be rewarding if the love is only one sided, it is best to just walk away. Letting go certainly causes some heartache, but it's much more heart wrenching holding onto something that isn't meant to be.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
-The Joker, Steve Miller Band

Don't Allow That Knot To Be Tied!!!

So anyways, being that I'm going to get married soon myself, well, married legally soon, actual marriage gala not for another year or so, I have really found the 'runaway Georgia bride' story to be quite riveting.

Okay, that's not really the reason why, I just think it's completely ridiculous when you start reading a little deeper into the whole situation. Take for instance her photos, especially the ones with her fiance in the picture with her. Her eyes, geesh, her eyes are all wide like she's a deer in the headlights. The look on her face screams "GET ME OUT OF HERE I'VE LOST ALL TRACK OF REALITY!!" in all the pictures.

That's why I really thought there was something fishy, the first time I saw the pictures it didn't seem right, then when I heard she had been found in New Mexico, I was like, "okay, no way, she's up to something". Sure enough, she lied about being abducted, she had just run away.

Did you see the details on the freaking wedding though??? More than 600 people had been invited to the wedding bash, and it was to feature 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen. FOURTEEN??? HOLY SHIT!! I would have ran away too!! Are there any churches with a big enough pulpit area to put THAT many people up there?? Can the bridesmaids/groomsmen on the ends even hear what the hell is going on? To have THAT many groomsmen, geesh, I think I would have been putting people I didn't even LIKE in my wedding party. "Hey Bill, yah, I know I kicked you out of my house in college, but I'm wondering, think you might like to be in my wedding?" Yah, sorry Bill, I don't think so.

Then of course, this little gem, that her uncle said at a press conference: ''Jennifer had some issues the family was not aware of. We're looking forward to loving her and talking to her about these issues,'' he said. OOookay, SOME issues... YOU THINK??? You look forward to loving her?? Late night sneaky uncle here or what? No wonder she's screwed up, what did anyone expect??

The poor guy in all of this, I really feel bad for him, especially because he doesn't see the writing on the wall. The wedding is still on, merely postponed, her fiancé John Mason says. Well hey John, I don't think she feels the same way. Like I said before, she did not look like the 'happy bride to be' in any of her pictures, rather she looked totally uncomfortable. If John Mason knows what is good for him, he'll kick this freak to the curb and move on. She already ruined one wedding estimated to have cost &100,000 (yah, WOAH!!), I wouldn't give her a second chance at all.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Does it hurt to remember
Does it help to forget
Do you know what you started
When you lit the fuse of regret
-Def Leppard, Paper Sun

Wedding Up, Wedding Down

No, it's not some sort of goofy nuptual military patrol tactic. The wedding is now back to it's original scheduled date. Word came down early yesterday that once my military unit is mobilized, even though we will be in the states at either Ft. Riley in Kansas or Ft. Hood in Texas for 2 months before we go overseas, the only way they will allow anyone any time off is either a death in the immediate family or your own death.

Disappointing. In a word, I guess that pretty much covers it. Very disappointing. Frustrating too. I was excited about everything, all the planning, getting everthing taken care of before I go overseas. Now it appears that instead of the traditional wedding we had planned, we will be making an appearance before a judge/justice of the peace and getting married 'legally', and the wedding will be in early September of 2006. At least that covers things, not just for the extra money that she and I will both receive as part of our pay, but in the unfortunate even that anything might happen while I'm overseas (but, don't worry about that, I'm not going to allow that to happen!!).

I guess my worst nightmare at this point is that a year from now, when the unit gets back from the middle east, and we are demobilizing, belly's unit gets deployed and she is gone for a year. I pray that doesn't occur, but you have to be ready for just about anything, just in case. That scenario would be quite interesting, should it happen, I would be moving to wherever she's stationed at (not deployed, but her actual stateside marine base) and live there waiting for her return. That would be alright though, I'd still have the cats to keep me company : )


Current Lyrical Ramblings

All the little ants are marching
Red and black antennae waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way
-Ants Marching, Dave Matthews Band

Welcome BACK To BMG!!

Okay, I have a confession to make. Back when I first got a CD player, in like, what, 'nam or so, I think I joined BMG Music Club 4 times or so, and I don't think I ever did buy the mandatory CD after getting the 8 free ones each time. Yes, I know, terrible!! Oh well, that was a long time ago, I'm certain the statue of limitations that would hold me to the death penalty for such an offense has long expired.

Well, anyways, having about 30 of my cds stolen had me thinking about joining up again. It was a lot of my best music that got taken too. Here's the list:

1) AC/DC - Back In Black
2) Collective Soul - self titled
3) Collective Soul - Disciplined Breakdown
4) Def Leppard - Vault
5) Godsmack - self titled
6) Guns N Roses - Use Your Illusion II
7) Journey - Greatest Hits
8) Led Zeppelin - IV
9) Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
10) Matrix - Soundtrack
11) Metallica - And Justice For All
12) Nickelback - Silver Side Up
13) Ozzy - No More Tears
14) Puddle Of Mudd - Drift And Die
15) Rob's Guitar Hits
16) Rob's Guitar Hits II
17) Sevendust - Home
18) Sevendust - Seasons
19) Soundgarden - A Sides
20) Styx - Greatest Hits
21) Alter Bridge - One Day Remains
22) Crossfade - self titled
23) Creedence Clearwater Revival - Chronicles
24) Chevelle - Wonder What's Next
25) American Wedding - Soundtrack
26) Rob Zombie - Past, Present, Future
27) Creed - Weathered
28) Velvet Revolver - Contraband
29) Tool - Aenima

The ones in green I have replaced using BMG. Those in yellow I will be replacing using BMG. The ones in purple I replaced on my own. The ones in orange I have to purchase somewhere other than BMG. The two in red were compilations that I can't replace, which sucks. As a lot of you know I also had a bunch of my DVDs stolen too. The funny thing about that is that the cost of replacing each DVD is actually cheaper than replacing an individual CD if I were purchasing it at someplace like Walmart or Target. How dumb is that? Oh well. At least the CDs aren't too costly if I just use BMG.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Cherry stem with her mouth she could tie in a knot
Favourite trick she does, One in ten that she's got
Making friends, setting trends, hardly having to try
All the looks, by the book, best that money can buy
Look what your money bought, It's all that she's got
It keeps her company, Straight from Mom and Daddy .
-Nickelback, Money Bought