To Whom It May Concern

The “How To Do A Marathon With Very Little Training” Episode

The Boston Marathon in Tallil, Iraq. I figure I’ll give you an account of what it was like to actually run one. Got up early, probably about 4:30 am, couldn’t sleep, I was nervous and excited, so I got everything ready earlier than I figured I would have. I tried to stay away from drinking too much water, I didn’t want to overdo it. I put bandaids over my nipples then covered those up with duct tape, to keep from chafing. I wore my regular army PT shorts, no undies, and a plain white tshirt with the sleeves ripped off.

I tried one of the Power Gel packs before I left, it was lemony and not really too bad. A little baby powder in the shorts, and some sun tan lotion all over and I was pretty much ready to go. I didn’t really see the point in stretching, considering the length of time I was going to be running and that I wouldn’t be running all that hard.

I got over to the starting line at about 0530, a half hour before the race started. I was just inclined to get it started right there, as waiting was just more nervousness. They had a bunch of useless banter, where officers get to use the limelight to spout off about crap that no one cares about save for themselves. At the start there were a couple of humvees set to take the race leaders around. The other guy in my unit, Bob, and I started out at a good pace, running each mile in just over 8 minutes.

The first 7 miles took us out by the Ziggurat of Ur and back thru the arches of the base. Then we ran up thru the middle of base and back down onto the back road on post, where the bulk (18 miles) of the race would be run. Mile marker 8 we were going strong, still pushing an 8 minute pace. Every two miles or so they had a water point/aid station, with water, Gatorade, orange slices, and Power Bar Power Gel packets. We tried to make good use of them, as we went by each one, grabbing a glass of water or Gatorade and a Power Gel packet and sucking it down.

After mile 8 the miles just started rolling by. I didn’t really even notice much till we reached about mile 15, I started to feel a little tired but not too bad. At roughly mile 16 was the turnaround point, it was about 200 meters from our living quarters, and Rob Nel had a sign out supporting everyone and a bunch of other guys were out there, they were pretty rowdy but I was first starting to feel it just a bit. We turned around and headed back along the back road in the opposite direction. At this point Bob fell back a ways from me as I kept moving along at the same pace. We had already talked about this, that it was going to happen at some point, but that we weren’t going to wait for the other, it’s a very individualistic event you know?

Still the next three miles I held my pace, feeling decent. I was still hitting up the water points for Gatorade and Power Gel packets, and smiling and waving at the people from our unit who had made the effort to get out on the back side of post to cheer everyone on. I was even ahead of a couple of our 4 person relay teams where each member ran a little over 6 miles. All of that was about to change.

At mile marker 19 it was like a ton of bricks fell right on my head and I finally had to stop for the first time. I had made it to the water point, so I drank some water and Gatorade and stretched as best I could, I was really hurting, but I didn’t think it would be too bad, I started out jogging a little slower as I headed out towards the next mile marker. I would run about 3 minutes, walk for a couple minutes, repeat it over and over. At this point the miles no longer were just rolling along, they were coming hard and heavy. I was praying to God with every mile just to help me make it. I really felt pretty good from the waist up, but my legs were really heavy. I kept plodding along.

As I came to mile marker 22, I figured I would run the last 200 meters or so into the water point there. But as I lifted up my leg to take off running it locked up so hard that I literally fell over backwards. Now to me this was really funny and I started laughing, but to the people at the water point, this was a freaking ‘MEDICAL EMERGENCY’ and I heard someone yell “GET MEDIVAC (medical evacuation) OUT HERE!! WE HAVE A HEAT CAT!! (heat casualty)” and one of the brand new Dodge Durangos they drive around came flying down the road screeching to a stop right next to me and they jumped out.

I was waving them off and trying to let them know it was only a cramp, I was like “hello, I’m still coherent, I just have a cramp is all! I can see all my fingers and I know where I’m at and what time it is!!” They got out and worked on my leg, the young guy grabbed my leg and lifted it up and pushed my toes back towards me trying to get the cramp to let go. “This is maybe the worst cramp I’ve seen out here today” he said, and it was pretty freakish, I had a ridge going up the middle of the calf and it was tighter than if I were to flex it as hard as I could on any normal day. “We are going to get one of the Italian ambulances over here to give you a ride back in” they told me, referring to the Italian soldiers who were out helping with the race. I was like “NO way guys, I’m going to finish this” as they helped me up.

It cramped up a little but I was able to walk it off (thankfully) and I made it into the mile 22 aid station with a grimace on my face and sat on a box filled with bottled water and spent about 4 minutes drinking a lot of Gatorade and eating orange slices. I really don’t think they thought I would get up and keep going but I did just that, this time speed walking rather than trying to run. At this point Bob caught up with me, he was still able to run, I was really glad to see that. I hoped he hadn’t dropped out.

The next couple of miles were really hellish. What made it worse was that I was probably passed up by about 40 to 50 people : ( I am very competitive and I hated that, it was like my body had failed me in a lot of ways. But I still had one thing left to save myself, and that was to finish this son of a bitch!! I just kept thinking about my baby, about how belly had done 7 weeks of Marine boot camp on a broken hip, and that I wasn’t injured and I sure as hell needed to keep moving, if she could do what she did I could push my pathetic ass to the finish line!!!

Mile marker 25: stopped again, got myself more Gatorade (I know, surprise) and more orange slices, stretched a little, listened to people say “GOOD JOB WAY TO GO ALRIGHT” really loudly and sorry for feeling this way, but I wanted to punch them in the face, because maybe that helps some people along but they ought to try and be subtle supportive with a low key “you are doing great man, keep it up” instead of yelling it right in your face *L* Oh well they were trying to be supportive, and that’s a good thing.

Only about a mile and a half to go now, I turned the corner up the long one mile stretch along airport road and was speed walking with a couple of other guys. We were joking around as best we could, we walked by the firefighters out in front of the firestation beside the runway and joked around with them about turning the hoses on or getting us some real beer. A little bit later I reached down to scratch my leg and WHAM that same calf muscle locked up again. This time I was able to walk it off without falling over, the other two guys were like “do you need some help?” and I waved them off, they had their own troubles to get thru.

By this time I was about a half mile from the finish when along came Wadas from the other direction. I was like “what the hell are you doing out here, didn’t you fly out last night?” They were supposed to have been on a flight back home for their two weeks, her and a few other people from our unit but that flight got pushed back a night so they were able to stay and watch us. It was great that she came out and walked me back in, I was doing the best I could but my toes were starting to curl up and cramp on me now too.

I turned the last bend with about 200 meters to go and everyone started cheering, so I thought, hey what the hell I better finish this thing off with a little run, if you can call it that. I hobbled along to the finish as hard as I could muster, legs locking up but I didn’t care, I was so close to done. I crossed the Finish line in 4 hours and 32 minutes. I was not really disappointed, I had made it, that was all I was hoping for, and I had said before the race that if I made it to at least mile 18, then it was a success. Well, I actually RAN to mile 19, so I would say that I met my goal with flying colors and then some.

They wanted to lay me back on some table and I was like “Uh, I’m not dying or anything, just give me some freaking cold water and a damn chair!!” So they sat me down and one guy went to work on my leg, so in between “OUCH” and “OH GOD” as he squeezed that calf muscle, I was telling the other people from our unit what the run was like. Bob had finished about 15 minutes before I did, and as it turns out he got 30th place overall, not too bad considering neither of us had trained much at all for it. I am unsure of my overall placing, but I’d say it was probably 50th or so, considering the number of people that got around me. I’m guessing for awhile I was top 15, until mile 19 when I hit the wall.

We went inside of the MWR building and took some pictures with all 18 people from our unit who participated (16 in the relays, and me and Bob in the full marathon), I couldn’t believe how cold it was inside of that building, but I wasn’t exactly right about that. When I walked back outside, I realized it wasn’t cold in the building, it was actually 101 degrees outside, I had been running in such extreme heat but my body was so beaten up I hadn’t even noticed it until then.

So, I got this cool medal that says “BOSTON ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION” and has a unicorn with “2006” in the middle and along the bottom it says “110th Boston Marathon”, on the back there is a crest with the same unicorn over the top of two crisscrossed flags under a “PATRIOT’S DAY” banner, along with “APRIL 17, 2006” and “ASHWORTH MADE IN USA SOLID FIND PEWTER” along the bottom in small lettering. It is hung by a yellow and blue strap, a very nice little piece, I have that along with the “2nd Annual Iraq Boston Marathon” brochure, I’m keeping both for my little awards collection I have back home of other accomplishments.

The walk back to my trailer sucked, it was about a quarter mile and I would have just as easily curled up on the rocks and went to sleep, I think. They were all saying at the end that most people can’t sleep right away after they finish, that they hydrate and eat a little but sore muscles keep them from getting sleep right away. Yah, not me, I got into my trailer, fell into bed, and slept for about an hour and a half. Now, I woke up about 5 times as I would move and my body would scream at me haha, but I did get a decent nap in.

I probably drank about 2 gallons of water/Gatorade/juice all that afternoon. We finally went to eat at about 1800 at the Italian eatery in the Air Force compound. I had a big plate of meaty spaghetti and an order of cheese bread. I stuffed myself silly. Then we headed back to our rooms and I went to bed about 2100 or so. Slept until 0300 or so, then woke up and couldn’t sleep any longer, I was too sore, so I sat in the computer chair and dicked around on the computer for about 3 hours then back to bed till 0900 or so.

Today I’m still really sore, but it was worth it. I was on Alamak and Electra asked me if I had a good time. THAT is an interesting question, because I would say that running a marathon, at least your first one, is a very rewarding experience but I wouldn’t exactly call it a ‘good time’ haha. For awhile out there I was thinking “OH MAN, I will NEVER EVER do one of these again” but to be honest I was thinking to myself about mistakes I had made and how I can fix them ‘next time’, which is crazy considering how incredibly sore I am.

So, in conclusion, don’t do what I did, as in, do not go and run a marathon without proper training, because it will kick your ass, or maybe even kill you. Am I saying I am better than you? No, that’s not it, but I also know that I am able to do what I would guess 99% of people aren’t able to do, and that’s to push my body beyond what I’m prepared using mind over matter so to speak. Just something I’ve always been able to do, I think long distance running teaches you to do that, and I’ve done long distance since junior high. Will I ever do another marathon? Heh heh, well, I have already thought about what I could fix ‘next time’ to actually RUN the whole thing without having to walk any. Who knows, there may be another one in my future. Just not for the next few months *OUCH*

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