“Trainin’ Trainin’ Trainin’”

Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. We have been so busy though, getting our mobilization up, doing our WTT classes, qualifying on ranges. This past weekend people’s families were allowed to come down, from 1600 Saturday till 2000 Sunday (that’s 4 pm Saturday till 8 pm Sunday, for you civilians out there). Belly couldn’t come because she needed to give them a specific amount of time notice before she would be allowed to leave, and they didn’t let us know until too late. But truthfully, paying probably 600 dollars or so (plane ticket, car rental, hotel room) for one day probably wouldn’t have been all that good, so we are going to try for one of the longer visits later, maybe a three day? *crosses fingers*

So, how goes things? Well, so far so good I guess, things are really a clusterfuck sometimes, but we are making it work. All in all I believe we have a good group of people who are all gelling together very well. Today some of us were doing land navigation while the rest of the company went and fired at the M249 SAW and .50 Caliber range. I was with the land navigation group, I spent about the last 20 minutes cleaning branches, leaves, neddles, dirt, etc, out of my shirt, crotch, pants, and hair. Not to mention the scratches all over my legs from the tangle foot and thorny bushes down in that little marsh we had to navigate to get to one of our points. But honestly, I enjoy that sort of shit, because that makes me feel closer to my infantry roots. HOOAH!!

I am in a room with 2 other SSG’s, and we are packed in here like sardines when you add in 3 duffel bags, 2 foot lockers, a ruck sack, and a personal bag, EACH person has this much stuff. Soon we have to send our foot lockers and 2 of our duffel bags into shipping containers to be sent over to the middle east by boat, so now the tricky part is trying to decide what we can live without for 2 months and putting it in the foot lockers and 2 duffel bags (they send all that stuff early so we have it when we get there, but the problem is that we can’t have it obviously for the next 2 months).

We have a little bit of internet, but we won’t have our actual good connection until Friday. Right now we are ‘piggy-backing’ off someone else’s connection, and it’s not very reliable at all. Also sometimes there are probably 30 or so people on that one connection and it’s just overloaded. All wireless of course. I can’t wait till we get a GOOD internet connection.

I get time to message belly back and forth using Yahoo messenger each night, which has been nice. I don’t really know what I would do without her in my life. There are so many ways in which she enhances my life, I give thanks everyday that I was lucky enough to find someone like her, and even luckier that she was okay with marrying a dork like me : )

Well, probably need to get a couple of things done around here so I’m going to keep it short, we are perpetually busy these days, hoping it starts to slow down sometime. Hope to keep you a bit more posted as to what is going on around here.

Current Lyrical Rambings

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.

Shine On You Crazy Diamonds – Pink Floyd

10 X 20 Feet Of Everything We Own

DONE, finally. The apartment is empty. Let me tell you, I really don’t care much for moving. I must say this much, we will NEVER live on anything other than the first floor of any apartment building, ever. This became apparent on around my 500th trip

Up

Down

Up

Down

Up

Down

Up

Down

those three stinking flights of stairs. I got some help from my family on Tuesday. I thought I would be done moving out on Saturday night or Sunday morning. Interesting how that didn’t work out, we just have a lot more stuff than I thought we did. My sisters, mother, and a family friend stopped in on Tuesday, along with Andy (he helped me move the big stuff, thank God for him).

Everyone left around 11 Tuesday night and I think that’s when it really hit me, I was all alone. My sisters took the cats over to their place to watch them for the next three months. I looked around the apartment and thought about everything belly and I had experienced there. Our first night in the apartment in front of the fireplace on the inflatable bed. Watching movies sitting on that crazy old hide –a- bed. Tossing that old ouch off the balcony. Our first year together, arguing late into the night, always finding ourselves coming through on the other side, stronger than ever. Papa John’s pizza, late night Chinese food, jogging together around the lake. So many memories during our roughly 925 days in that apartment. It was so sad as I packed up a lot of the last items, all by myself. But I know we have so many experiences left with which to build our memories, together.

I went to my parents house at 3:30 in the morning finally on Wednesday, STILL not completely finished moving everything out. Then at 6 in the morning I was up and heading off to drop my grandmother off at the doctor’s office, then headed back over to our apartment. One more load of stuff over to the storage unit, and then back for one final walk through the apartment, to check and make sure nothing was left. Then I dropped the keys off at the apartment office and headed off to my parents. I left the truck there with the more important financial papers and got a ride to Lincoln from my mother. Stayed at my friend Andy’s place till about 8 p.m. and then Spc Wadas gave me a ride to Wayne.

I was incredibly tired, but also relieved the next morning, standing in formation. With everything leading up to that moment, I was just glad to finally be done with it all. Now we get ready to spend the next 15 months or so doing what we have trained for so long to do.

Well, more on that at a later date.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Now you know they're gonna come for you.
and drag your silly name into the mud.
If the mother bears your children without tears
and without the usual costs of labor

Freaks - Live

Someone told me this earlier tonite:

"You know you both have the perfect relationship, you act like a dumb ass and she doesn't care if you do."

Hah, well, that pretty much sums it up.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Where's the space I fill
Where's the sympathy I killed
I need to find a meaning
I'm useless, I'm useless
Trapped inside my own web

Waffle - Sevendust

Ultimate Cheapness!!!

This is a complete cheapskate. I just saw a car parked by the side of the road, broke down or not I do not know. What stood out and screamed ‘ultimate cheapness’ is the fact that the car had ONE tinted window, the driver’s side window, this on a four door sedan. I had to laugh when I saw that.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Ænema- Tool

I'll Take The Whole Pie

I have never really gotten into the ‘downloading’ music phase on the internet. I guess for me the reasoning is more than just the idea that I’m stealing from someone, because quite frankly, I could give a damn less about artists who make millions of dollars a year bitching, because God knows I’ve spent 18 dollars a cd on probably 100 of my cds before the price finally went down.

No, my reasons are a little bit different. Take the cd I’m listening to right now, Default, The Fallout. There are two fantastic songs that were hits on this cd, but there are several other wonderful songs, such as Sick And Tired which I’ve highlighted below as the song currently playing. Another fabulous song is One Late Night, and these are songs that, had I just taken the two hits off the internet, I would have never known I liked.

There are so many examples of this. The newest cd I have purchased is Breaking Benjamin, We Are Not Alone. I love this cd, every song is fantastic, and in all honesty, in this case, I like the songs that are NOT hits more than any of the hit songs. The entire cd is lyrically well presented and sounds great.

This is the reason why I don’t like to get my music off the internet, plus I’m a bit of a purist, to answer those who would say “why don’t you just download the entire cd.” I like having the real thing so to speak. Anyways, this has been brought to you by “taking a break from packing” so it’s time to get back to busting my ass ahahaha.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I feel this, this tension inside of me
Pressure is presently pushing down on me
The first time it starts with just you and I
Repeating myself but you don't hear me

Sick And Tired – Default

The Time Is Near

15 months is a long time. I mean, I say it, I know how long it will be, but it really hasn’t hit me yet. As I sit in this apartment, with boxes stacked all around me, paperwork strewn across the living room floor, a list of ‘to do’ close to 2 pages long, I don’t really have the time to really comprehend what I’m about to embark on in 5 short days.

As odd as this sounds, I think Wednesday is going to actually be a relief when it finally arrives. Everything leading up to that day has been so hectic, a lot of it very stressful. When I walk thru the doors on Wednesday and show up for first formation, it’s going to like breathing a big sigh, ‘finally’, because of all the work that has to be done to get ready, even now of course. A lot has been done but there is so much yet to do.

Basically everything we own is going into storage. Except the cats of course, which my mother will watch for the next 3 months. I have to get all of my mail sent to my parents until belly is situated, at which point we may FINALLY have a permanent address. Until then though things are still going to be a little hairy, because we have to coordinate bills and mail thru my family.

Wednesday starts a 4 day process of paperwork and packing at our home station in Wayne, from there we drive to Ft. Riley in Kansas on Sunday. At Ft. Riley we will spend roughly 3 months, gearing up and training up, doing all the things that need to be done to bring the unit up to speed and proficient for deployment to Iraq. We send the majority of our gear over to Kuwait in shipping containers by sea. Sometime in early November, roughly the 8th or so, the unit will fly over to Kuwait, and link up with our gear.

This is tricky, because we have been told that there are more than 100,000 shipping containers located in Kuwait, so they use GPS tracking locaters on the containers themselves, with tracking devices that we get to locate the containers within the mass of boxes on the ground there. You have to be absolutely sure to install new batteries however, in order to insure that your tracker doesn’t go dead, or you’ll spend up to 2 weeks checking each individual container’s numbers by hand so to speak.

Back to the present time though, to look around our apartment. This is where we first lived together, shared so many experiences, exciting highs, devastating lows, it’s going to be difficult the day I click the lock and walk away from the door, especially doing so alone, because I know belly wants to be here too, to help me get all of this done.

Exciting, frustrating, glum, enthusiastic, my feelings are running thru a gauntlet today, I hope to have the apartment completely empty by Sunday night, save for my gear going to Wayne and maybe the laptop and a chair. So much to do though, so much. I best get back to it.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It’s lonely out in space, on such a timeless flight

Rocket Man – Elton John

DISASTER AREA

Packing sucks. How far am I into it? Who knows? I have 9 huge boxes, along with another 5 crates, all packed up so far. I want to be done moving everything out by Sunday, with just maybe the television and phone left in the apartment, so that I’ll have a full three days to work on JUST getting ready for the deployment. Oh and everything I’m taking with me Wednesday to Wayne to report for duty will also be here I’m sure.

Here’s the basic plan. My mother doesn’t think she will have any problem watching the cats, which was a HUGE relief. Up till now, the plan had been to find an efficiency apartment to put all of our stuff into, but the last few days have shown that, the idea of having 3 cats in an apartment without people around, well, landlords are quite leery of that. So when talking to my mother, she has decided that she wouldn’t have a problem watching the cats, as long as we pay her for their care, which seems fair to me.

So all of our stuff can go into a storage unit, which will actually work out a lot better. I’ve probably been overloading the boxes, but oh well, just hope the movers are strong people, if that’s how it ends up getting moved to wherever belly is going to be stationed. That’s the difficult part in all of this, I have to pack everything up into boxes and store it, then she’s going to be the one unpacking everything later on, with ‘who knows who’ going to do the actual moving of our belongings.

I’m marking all of the boxes with numbers, then I have a master list of ‘what’s what’ in each of the boxes, that way there is nothing written on the boxes themselves to give any thiefy type person any ideas if they were to see see ‘dvd player/cds’ written on the side of a box. Then I’ll map out the storage unit so that belly will know exactly where everything is. I need to write down all phone numbers and addresses of credit card companies, banks, cell phone company, etc, so that she can handle any problems that may arise. I’ll also need to set up all of my accounts on auto pay while I’m gone, so that the money will be automatically taken out of my checking account to pay the bills.

HAHA, SO much to do!! I can’t allow myself to get too overwhelmed, that is for sure. Speaking of that, what the hell am I still doing here? I need to get going and check out two storage unit facilities!! MORE LATER!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I can transcend you and mentally bend you
But I can't handle the shit that I'm into
I have been blinded and always reminded
Of the things I've wanted but I never could find

Starless – Crossfade

The Pensacola Experience

Before the trip I had planned everything out, except one thing, my accommodations. Naval Air Station Pensacola has a really nice housing facility called Bachelor Officer Quarters available to military personnel, but it’s normally so booked up that the only available way to get a room without orders is on a ‘walk in’ basis the day of your visit. $17 dollars a night sure as hell beats trying to bid for any available room in the surrounding area for $100 or more (workers in town to clean up and rebuild after the recent hurricane had snapped up all the cheaper rooms). So I walked in to see if any rooms were available, and thankfully there was a wonderful lady working there who heard my story about visiting my wife, and how I was going to be deployed, and she let me have all 7 days I was going to be there.

That was AWESOME, because the BOQ was within easy walking distance of both belly’s classroom and her barracks, and the eating facilities on base. The mess hall was actually pretty good, and for $1.90 breakfasts and $2.50 lunches, even Taco Bell can’t touch it. I never did find out how much dinners were there, we always ate off base for dinner.

The temperatures in Nebraska have been insanely hot for pretty much the past month. This is good for one particular reason, because of what the weather is like constantly in Pensacola. Omaha doesn’t have nearly the humidity that Florida has, but the blasting heat in the afternoon is actually worse temperature wise in Omaha. However, it’s debatable as to whether or not that is worse than the humidity in Pensacola.

In Nebraska, you can expect a pretty decent break from the heat in the early morning hours, usually about 70 degrees or so. Not so in Florida though. Unless there is a storm or cold front, the temperature in the morning is going to be about 85 with drenching humidity. I ran most mornings I was there, and the humidity was unreal. One lap around the training area was 1.5 miles, and by the time I would get about one lap around, my shirt would be soaked with sweat. I alternated 2 laps and 3 laps daily, if for no other reason than to make up for the really bad eating habits I had while visiting NAS.

We visited the Pensacola Beach twice. The Gulf of Mexico is rather salty, I don’t know if that qualifies me for swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, but it is the first time I’ve ever swam in a body of water that big. At 2 years old my parents dipped me in the Pacific, but I certainly don’t remember that. We took a whole host of photos at the beach, of which belly has the majority of them.

They certainly have some interesting places to eat along the beach. Of course the resounding theme of the area is ‘seafood’ and here’s me, a rabid red meat lover. I feel kind of bad as I look back on it, but the only seafood I had the week I was there was the crab dip with chips at Crabs restaurant. The waitresses all had shirts that said “WE HAVE CRABS” on them, I found that to be really funny. I’ve had friends telling me now that I should have gotten them one of those shirts, well, sorry, too much was going on to think about that : ) . Oddly enough, we ate Mexican food more than anything else, they had a really great Mexican restaurant there, except for one thing. An all you can eat buffet is not ‘order all you want as we spend 30 minutes making each thing you order before it gets to you’, that was irritating, but other than that the place was delicious.

We also went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I had to ask myself this while we were watching the movie, well, had to ask myself TWO questions really. First, why in the hell is it colder than a meat locker in this movie theater, and second, why is Willy Wonka’s character modeled after Michael Jackson? Don’t believe me? Well, go see the movie, I can give you many reasons why this is true.

Both are incredibly reclusive and live in unrealistic surroundings, Willy in the chocolate factory, Michael at Neverland. Both have real difficulty relating to adults. Both have completely inept abilities when picking out clothing to wear. Both try to entice children into liking them. Both talk with a squeaky weird voice and make silly comments that make no sense or put them in a really bad light. If you haven’t seen it, don’t go to the theater, however, it’s worth renting I think. The musical stuff is pretty funny, but the movie overall is sort of lacking in terms of plot.

Belly and I got a lot done in a short period of time. Name change completed, went to her bank to get both of us on the account, helped her study for a really hard test. All in all it was a really wonderful week. She spent every night with me in the BOQ except for one. Technically I don’t think she was supposed to be spending the night with me, but I almost wondered if her leadership knew about it but also knew our situation (my being shipped out for 15 months) and let it slide, especially considering that she finished so high in her class performance wise.

So basically we had a mini honeymoon, with periods of classwork for belly. We had so much fun. Oh, and I got a laptop at the Best Buy, because I’m rather devoid of hardware knowledge and she knows a LOT about it. I hope my two weeks leave midtour will be this nice, I can’t wait to see her again.



Current Lyrical Ramblings


When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way, find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time

Estranged – Guns N’ Roses

Omaha to Pensacola

Thank God for the decision to wear blue jeans versus shorts, considering that these airports seem to be kept at roughly the same temperature as oh, I’d say a meat locker. When you do end up getting on the plane, there are certainly plenty of interesting things to make note of. “USE BOTTOM CUSHION FOR FLOTATION”. Yes, all those stories we hear of those amazing life saving seat cushions that help crash survivors keep themselves from drowning when the plane makes a pit stop in the ocean or river.

“We’d like to remind you that this is a ‘non-smoking flight’. As opposed to the smoking flights they have these days? “Oh, geesh, I think I’ll wait for the next ‘smoking flight’ if you don’t mind”. How ignorant is that? There are NO flights that allow smoking (thank God) so why not just say “No smoking on any flights, light up and you will immediately be killed.”

I rode in seat “E” from Omaha to Memphis. Oddly enough there was no seat “C”, I guess that seat fell off during an earlier flight at some time. I was fortunate enough, as cramped as the seating was, to be crammed in between two female passengers, both probably around 20 years old and both pretty cute. Yes, I know “HEY, you are married”. Actually being married is nice because it lets you off the hook as far as conversation, it is no longer a prelude to flirting or anything else, it’s just blabbing haha.

I wonder if they ever wash those blue blankets? Hmmm, I just won’t think about it I guess, considering I used a blanket on both flights from Omaha to Memphis and from Memphis to Pensacola.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

La la la la la la la la la

BYOB – System Of A Down

@&#@('ING SEARCH PAGES!!!

I was on the computer tonite, trying to research the proper location and wear of the Presidential Fitness Badge for my Army PT uniform. I have maxxed out the PT test for something like 12 years in a row now, that's the basic requirement for wear of the Presidential Fitness Badge, I just never got around to putting it on my uniform. But I figured that I should considering we are going to be on an active duty post for three months soon, and in Iraq for 12 months following that.

Anyways, so I go to Yahoo and enter "Army Presidential Fitness Badge" into the search string, and EVERY DAMN HIT on the first page led me to another f'ing search site that was of NO help at all. I can't believe how bad it's gotten with those things, they have to be automated or something, to see someone looking for something they need information on and make it look like "oh, there it is" so you click on it and instead you find some unrelated shit page with your search 'string' added in.

Talk about frustrating. I see this happening more and more. I suppose that what happens is that for each hit to that site, someone is paying someone else 1 penny or so, and that if they can trick a thousand people a day to go to that site, that's 10 bucks a day for some loser somewhere. It's still really irritating. Sometimes it would be nice to just punch in a key code to send out a nice electromagnetic pulse to fry the hard drives of people that make shit software like that, oh, and of course, spam emailers, can't forget about frying them too.

Well, I'm off to Pensacola to be with the Mrs. for a week starting Wednesday. So I suppose that's a valid excuse to not be posting here, right? For once a valid excuse haha.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Only so many tears you can cry.
'Til the heartache is over,
And now you can say your love...
Will never die.

Who's Cryin' Now - Journey

Gram's The Movie Star

I put my last name into Yahoo tonite, just to see what all comes up, and interestingly enough, my grandmother is the most popular outcome of these searches.

In 1991, Sean Penn made a movie called "The Indian Runner" in my hometown, a dark drama starring some notable Hollywood heavyweights, such as Sean Penn, Charles Bronson, Dennis Hopper, Viggo Mortensen, Patricia Arquette, and yes, my grandmother.

They did a casting call to find people to be in the movie. My grandfather wanted to try out for a part so he and my grandmother drove into town late one night, about 9 p.m. and said some lines then headed home. The next day, my grandparents got a phone call, and they asked for my grandmother, even though she never did a reading. Her role in the film lasted for about 7 seconds, as the camera passed where she was sitting, scrolling from Arquette, past my grandmother, to the television. My grandma didn't even have any lines in the movie, just sat staring at the television. My grandfather said it was the best, because she wasn't talking haha.

Every December, Grandma receives a check from the Screen Actors Guild, of which she is a part, for her royalties from the movie. This last one was for 19 cents. My grandfather puts those up and tapes them to the safe in the office, and everyone has a good chuckle when they see those checks. My grandmother, the movie star, who'da thunk?

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again

Fire and Rain - James Taylor

Mr. & Mrs.

"So, what's it like, now that you aren't a free man anymore?" Hmm, well, upon hearing that from a coworker the day I got back following my wedding over 4th of July weekend, I wanted to tell this person that 'guess you married the wrong person retard.' I really don't think of marriage as a prison, the one word that most describes what I feel is content. It was a LOT of work to put everything together, and with some timely hints from my mother in law, I was able to pull it all off without any problems. Many thanks to HyVee grocery store and Valentino's Italian Buffet for their help with everything.

I would have said the same about Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha , but, because of a 50 dollar deposit 'theft' by a lazy lying worthless facility manager, that is just not the case. Long story, not going into it here, suffice to say that Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha, that's Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha, and one more time, Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha, is a deceitful and shady organization. Yes, I said it, Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha. I hope that mentioning Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha 6 times gets some hits from people searching the web. Ah what the hell, make it seven, Rock Creek Apartments of Vann Realty of Omaha sucks big giant hairy donkey balls!! Whew, enough of that.

I picked belly up at the airport at about 10:30 on July 2nd, and immediately dropped her off at Gloss Studio so she could get her hair done. Her parents met her there as I headed to the apartment to get ready. I met the judge at the apartment clubhouse and a little later belly arrived, looking so beautiful and radiant. The ceremony was short but very nice, and afterwards we enjoyed a little cake and champagne before heading off to Valentino's Italian Restaurant for a celebratory dinner. Then we came back to the clubhouse to open a few gifts and have more cake (yum!!).

Belly and I had planned to go camping that night, but we were both so tired so we ended up just staying in the apartment and watching a few movies together, it was so nice just to spend some time together, 7 days in 7 months is hardly enough, so we had to make the best of the time we had. Sunday, July 3rd, we went to see War of the Worlds (not very good), ate at the Chinese Buffet (very good) and rented a couple of movies and enjoyed another cozy night together. Well, cozy and noisy, considering that Omaha celebrates the 4th of July weekend like a bunch of firework crazy lunatics. It was like a freaking war zone outside. Thankfully around 11 that night it calmed down.

Monday, July 4th. We got to the airport to find out they had overbooked, so not only did belly get to stay for an extra 6 hours together, but they gave her a 300 dollar travel voucher for use on another flight. So off we went again, she got a haircut then we went out for steak. The time went way too fast, as it had all weekend, and just before 5 my wife was on a plane headed back to Pensacola.

So yah, married. What is married life like? Well, I'll let you know when we I get to spend some real time WITH my wife. That's coming up soon, I'm flying there July 27th to spend a week with her. Can't wait. Time to head to bed.


Current Lyrical Ramblings

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you

Save Yourself - Stabbing Westward

7 Days Till A Union

Some people may call marriage the end of life as they know it. I suppose for some that might be true. We are looking into this as enhancing what we have already achieved. This is my best friend, the person I would most want to be with when something great has happened, the person I most need to lean on when something is troubling me. I can't imagine where I would be right now had she and I not found one another.

7 days... we purchased the plane tickets, nothing like 600 dollars to bring her home. I received the marriage license back and the engagement ring, so I can take the ring in and get it ready with the band for the ceremony. We moved the meal after the ceremony to 3 in the afternoon because belly won't be in town till close to 11 a.m. on Saturday, and the ceremony was to be at noon, that's going to get pushed back a couple hours to give her time to get ready, and in case there is a delay with the flight.

Everything is moving fast, a week after the wedding my unit will be in Lincoln and Ashland for pre-deployment briefings and equipment/clothing issue, financial coverages, etc. Belly and I have a unique situation we have to deal with, well, several, come August there will be no permanent address for us, also, finding out how we can deal with BAH and other allowances when we are both in the military is troubling, my financial department was supposed to get back to me with some answer and they haven't yet, so I guess I'll have to do more studying to find out how it all affects my pay.

So, am I nervous?? Nah, not really, I'm excited. This is just continuing our life journey, she and I together, a natural progression of what was meant to be. Why be nervous when someone completes you as a person? No reason to be nervous if you ask me. I feel more content than anything else.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

We're sayin' our goodbyes
To the past and everything that ain't right
We won't waste another day
With all these silly things in our way

No Giving Up - Crossfade

Hook Em Hosers

I hate the Texas Longhorns. If the University of Texas were suddenly sucked into a monster fissure that opened up in the ground in Austin, I would shed not one tear, not one! Their fans are without a doubt the worst in all of college sports (I would say all of sports, but sorry Yankee fans, you are the most pathetic and worst, by a slight margin).

Why am I bringing this up? Well, I watched one of their players rounding the bases during the College World Series here in Omaha, doing that STUPID hook em sign, and a lot of bad memories came up. Certainly had Nebraska done what they should have done years ago, yes, in football, this wouldn't even come up, well, it might, doesn't change the fact that Texas fans blow goats, but at least had my beloved Huskers won some of the games they should have, the irritation wouldn't be so noticeable.

So is it the losses that make me feel this way? Not really, it's how their fans reacted, probably some of the sorriest winners I've ever seen in my life, yelling the most profane and insulting comments as they left Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, I shook my head in amazement, that a school like Texas, with all that tradition, could have such completely lame and pathetic fans. My best friends mother got jabbed in the eye by one of them doing their little sign. College campuses in Nebraska can't have alcohol, so you can't blame it on that, it's actual sober people being retarded.

As a lifelong Husker fan, I understand the idea of rabid loyalty to one's team, but we Nebraska fans, year after year considered the most knowledgeable in all of college football, have always treated opponents with the utmost of respect. Of course there are rare exceptions, but for the vast majority of the time, the experience for the visiting team, win or lose, is one that they never forget. The "Sea of Red" and the greeting for the opposing team as fans cheer them after the game as they walk under the stadium, and the atmosphere, are something many players of opposing teams have recalled years following playing there.

I guess we end up having the same expectations of visiting fans, to be respectful and cordial to others, but on two separate occasions I've had the displeasure of being present for games with Texas, and they were the exact opposite of polite. Like I said, open up a hole and suck that college down into the dark depths of hell!! Good riddance!!

Let's see, in other news, what's going on around here? Well, we've had a high of 92 degrees or above for 4 days now, and it's been rather sweltering. But I like the heat, so I've been out in it running and biking, and really pushing myself. Today I ran 6.5 miles in 96 degree heat. I lose anywhere from four to six pounds when I run that far in that kind of heat. Of course, the majority is water weight, but I still feel so much better when I'm working out. I'm sitting at just above 180 these days, and it's a healthy feeling compared to 210.

I guess when I'm scooting down the trail around the lake at a high rate of speed, be it running or biking, I keep in mind what it's going to be like over in Iraq, where the highs can be in the teens... PLUS 100 that is. I push myself here to move my threshold further, to increase my stamina, and lower the energy I use while resting in that blazing heat over there. I don't believe I'll be able to sit in the 115 degree heat and not sweat, but I want to be sure that I feel, well, relatively comfortable. I did at the National Training Center at Ft. Irwin, south of Death Valley in California, so I don't think I have too much to worry about.

Me with an 80 pound ruck, along with another 60 lbs of gear or so, yah, going to have no problem heh heh heh.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Lights go out and I can’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have bought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead... Singing

Clocks - Coldplay

July 2nd Wedding

That's the plan. Belly has 72 hours of liberty, and she's trying to get authorized to leave the base to get married over 4th of July weekend, from late Friday until Monday night at midnight. I'm applying for the marriage license today, which included getting a bunch of information from her parents yesterday, and a little from my parents (I knew most of theirs already). Other things to get done: purchasing the wedding bands, picking a judge to do the wedding, and finding a good location to actually have the wedding at.

I've picked out a nice place to go eat afterwards, Valentino's Grand Italian Buffet in Omaha, we have the party room reserved, for roughly 35 people. They will provide white linens for the table and fall colors for the napkins and room itself. All in all, we are trying to keep this very laid back yet still meaningful, with the idea of having a regular ceremony when we get back. I've invited my groomsmen, my immediate family, Belly's parents and grandparents, and her brother. She and I are excited, but also about seeing each other again.

Everything is moving so fast now, it's tough to keep it all in perspective sometimes. In just over 4 months, I'll be in Iraq. I've picked up some extra responsibility while we are mobilizing and when get to Iraq, doing a bi-monthly newsletter to be sent home to the family, and with that I'm also going to start a website, Belly will help me with it stateside, doing the webmaster activities, more on that later.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Life is like the coldest winter
People freeze the tears I cry
Words of hail their minds are into
I've got to crack this ice and fly

Hitch A Ride - Boston

This Week's Sign That Apocolypse Now Is Upon Us

On the interstate yesterday, I saw a giant "Harley Davidson" sticker across the back window of a Honda Pilot. Uhhhh... ooookay?? I wonder if this guy wears a Honda tshirt while he rides his harley then? Somehow I doubt it.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

When you were yourself it tasted sweet
But it sours into a routine deceit
Well this drama is a bore
And I don’t want to play no more

Losing A Whole Year - Third Eye Blind

Bitter Bipartisan Bickering Former FBI No. 2 Mark Felt finally admitted publicly on Tuesday that he was the source who leaked secrets about the Watergate investigation to two Washington Post reporters more than 30 years ago. Now, I don't remember much of this, obviously (I wasn't quite 2 years old when Dick resigned), but I do know that it was such an unbelievable event, and as the years went on, the fact that the informant, known only as "Deep Throat", was able to hold onto his secret identity for so long in a crappy shithole place like Washington D.C., where secrets are rarely kept, certainly not for this long. Of course you have these people who are applauding Felt as a 'national hero', for being a whistle blower, for having the guts and strength to stand up and fight against those in power involved in wrongdoing. How interesting is it though, that a bunch of these same people praising Felt, are also on record as having publicly ridiculed Linda Tripp, the whistle blower who went public about Bill Clinton and the infamous "stained dress". Lest I be accused of partisanship myself, it's just as amusing to see people on the other side of the fence blasting Felt for 'not following correct institutional protocol' by not reporting the wrong doing by Nixon through his chain of command. Many of these same people put Tripp up on their shoulders and paraded her around for doing "the right thing" when it came to Clinton's sexual philandering in the White House. I guess some things just never change. Both sides will claim what the other did was worse and come up with plenty of unsubstantiated bullshit to bolster their ignorant arguments, rather than just admit the behavior in question was WRONG and move on. Isn't it interesting that with both Clinton and Nixon, it wasn't even what they did that was worst part of the whole ordeal, but the coverups that followed thereafter? Certainly the best argument that anyone can make is to TELL THE TRUTH!!! I think Nixon would have saved his presidency and Clinton would not have gone down in history for being such a worthless skirt chasing liar had they not tried to cover up their respective scandals, and just dealt with them head on. Yah, well, good luck with that ever happening. Current Lyrical Ramblings She spends her days up in the north park, watching the people as they pass And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream, is that too much to ask With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a quiet little street All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that’s all she needs -Live Like That - 3 Doors Down

BIG GLEAMING SMILE

WOW, Crest Whitestrips REALLY do work. I should hope so after paying 33 dollars for them and fighting my way through the Walmart crowd to purchase them. After 2 of the 10 treatments thus far, I can really see a difference. What I don't get about them, is that they are the "Premium Plus" version. Uhm, isn't that a little redundant?? "Oh, these are the 'Premium' white strips over here, and the 'Plus' ones are here, but up here, oh yes, we have the Premium Plus!! You aren't anyone unless you have those!" So anyways, if you see me standing in front of a mirror smiling at myself while striking a pose, don't be alarmed, well, you might want to run, I am sort of insane and all.

Last Sunday was the 22nd, so don't think that it went unnoticed. I hope it was a good day. I was at Guard, sitting through a 6 hour pre-deployment briefing. How funny is it that they can't tell us '100% for sure' that we are being deployed, yet they are handing out mobilization packets and doing showdown inspections on everyone to be sure we have 100% accountability for gear haha. DUH, some secret it is that we are getting deployed.

So why am I talking about it now? Because as of today, it's a sure thing. The 17th of August we begin train up, Ft. Riley, Kansas. Then in November, it's in country, likely Iraq. I'm now allowed to give this information out, of course, I told NO ONE before this : ) (shhhh) Anyways, going to get to bed. And I'm taking my shiny happy teeth with me!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good, whether with or without you.

-That I would Be Good, Alanis Morissette

"Boots in the sand"

QUITE busy as of late, hence the lack of posting to my blog, for that I apologize, here's what has been going on, in order to keep you up to date.

My unit's impending deployment to Iraq appears to be starting around August 15th. This will be the start of about 3 months of training up/gearing up, then we should be "boots in the sand" (in Iraq) around the 10th of November. From the day we arrive in Iraq, it will be 365 days in country, then we will come home.

This was a little frustrating to say the least, because once again, the wedding is going to be postponed. We are getting married in a civil ceremony in front of a judge here in Omaha in July, but we had planned on a regular wedding ceremony in September of 2006, after I was to return from Iraq. Well, now it appears I will not be back from Iraq until November of 2006, so the regular ceremony will probably be late August or early September of 2007.

Belly should be done with Marine Combat Training around June 15th, then we are going to push very hard to get her home for at least a month on Recruiter's Assistance so we can get married, move to a cheaper apartment (for storing our stuff mostly), get all our finances in order, and just spend some time together, because we won't be able to for 15 months (at least... because if she gets deployed while I'm gone it will be for even longer).

We had a drill this past weekend, where we got the information as to when we will be in Iraq, along with our pre-deployment packets (yikes, a LOT of reading and studying on my own over the next three months, don't know if everyone is going to study up, but I want to be a step up, including knowing how to say a few key phrases in Arabic). We had our PT test, I scored a 300 (max). 76 pushups in 2 minutes, 100 situps in 2 minutes, and ran the 2 mile in 12:52, into a really strong head wind for the first mile, which turned into a stiff crosswind in the second mile. I'm disappointed though, I still have that pain in my chest and it's hindering my ability to improve on my run. I know I'm getting older but dammit I am also close to 30 lbs lighter than I was 3 years ago, when I was running 2 miles in 11:30. I'm going to get a full physical next week. If the general practitioner cannot find out what is causing the pain, I'm going to ask for a referral to a heart/lung/chest specialist.

Getting belly home might be tricky, if they don't offer her recruiter's assistance I'm going to make an appeal, based on our situation, to try and get at least a week of emergency leave for her. I would have to think that, given the circumstances, it would get approved. Bah, there is SO much to do though, getting the credit card put on hold with a very low interest rate, turning off a cell phone (actually that will get done when I'm done training at Ft. Riley, because I'll still be using my phone there), going to Performance Dodge in Lincoln and pricing my SRT-4 ACR and setting it up to order it.

Oh, yes, about the car. This car is normally about $21,600 but according to our battalion commander, the manufacturers are offering 3 to 5,000 off to troops overseas who order direct, and for no charge they ship the car direct to the dealer of your choice. Also, NO SALES TAX if you order while overseas, that is going to save me probably 1500 to 1800 also. With no destination fee for the car, that's a lot of money I'm saving, it will more than pay for getting the Mopar Stage 3 performance package added to the vehicle. Stock SRT-4 is 230 hp, 250 lb ft torque. With the Stage 3 upgrade, and on high octane fuel, that is raised to 355 hp and 375 lb ft of torque. Heh heh, needless to say, I should be waving bye to any unsuspecting Mustang or Camaro I meet. Ah, well, I'm still somewhat young aren't I? : ) Dooon't worry, I'll take it easy with this car, because I want it to last. I'll have a secondary car I'll build at the farm for work/winter driving, probably a Dodge Shadow or something like that.

Anyways, we have so much going on. When belly gets home, we are going to also go up to her parents and spend a weekend there. The worst case scenario would be if everything was denied and belly wasn't able to come home. If that happens, I'll get a marriage license in whatever state she is training in and we will go get married there, I'll travel there and spend a week in a hotel, she gets her nights off, so we can at least get that time together before I go. It really means a lot to her and I to get some 'we' time before I go over, because to be honest, you never know what might happen, so you have to live as much of your life in the time that you do have... you never know.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Just fade away, please let me stay
Caught in your way, I can live forever here
How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

-Forget it, Breaking Benjamin

Picking Up The Pace

I ran ladders today at the rec center at Offutt AFB. Basically ladders are running gradually rising increments of distances, then lowering increments. In this case, I ran a mile to warm up, then a 400, 800, mile, 800, 400. I was boogying on the first mile, probably faster than I should have, but I am competitive, and there were quite a few people out running, and I refuse to be beaten, heh.

I tossed in pushups, situps, and bicycle kicks, two sets of each, then 20 minutes on the bike, 10 minutes in the sauna. My run pace is picking up, I'll do a mock PT test for myself on Saturday, I'm giving some thought to purchasing some light racing distance shoes, they end up making the run a lot easier. My goals are as follows:

80 pushups in 2 minutes
100 situps in 2 minutes
2 mile run in 11:30

If I can hit those goals I'll be just fine for the PT test next weekend. I am equally worried about the pushups and the run, but we'll see how it goes. I'm getting really cut again, trim and muscular, the way I was in February before I got so sick. I'm also about 5 lbs heavier than I was then, because I'm doing way more upper body now. Next week I'm bringing out the 5 lb arm weights and wearing those while I run to further increase my stamina and strength.

In other news, got the cell phone bill today. Belly and I used more than 4500 minutes on our cell plan hahaha, talk about crazy!! Thankfully, no roaming minutes, the only charges were for our text messages (10 cents per, not bad) and then about 6 bucks each because we were dorks and downloaded our own ring tones. All in all, I'm very pleased with our new cell phone plan.

Time for bed

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I only wanna see if your okay when I'm not around
asking if ya love me, I love the way you make it sound
calling you to see, do I try to hard to make you smile
to make a smile?

-The Working Title, Beloved

Deep Inside... MY MOUTH!!

Okay, so I haven't been to the dentist since like, maybe the millenium? I try to take good care of my teeth though but I've had a few problems come up in the last couple of years (yes, I know, 'did he say YEARS??' yes I did say years) and I finally broke down and went in to have them worked on.

Thankfully I do have SOME dental coverage, how much it covers I don't know. I imagine the cleaning and regular checkups than some percentage of work that needs to be done. So anyways, I had my appointment at 10 a.m. today. Is it bad when the first thing the dentist says when you open your mouth is "HOLY FUCK!!"? Haha, just kidding, I told everyone at work that and of course one mr. gullible believed me. Actually the dental hygienist did the xrays and initial cleaning said I had well maintained teeth and she wouldn't have guessed that I hadn't been to the dentist in so long.

They have some interesting new technology that they didn't have when I last saw the dentist. That little ultrasonic 'chisel' for removing plaque is quite the piece of hardware. Even as I sit here now it still feels like it's hammering away at my gumline. As she cleaned away, she kept asking me questions. Now, how the hell am I supposed to answer her with a mini jack hammer in my mouth and a suction tube?? This seems to be a recurring theme with dentists, they ALWAYS do that!!

When she finished up the cleaning (for this visit, I have to go in again for more of that) the dentist came in, looked at the Xrays, and checked out my teeth. He figures I am in need of three fillings, starting later next week. He also doesn't think my teeth are the cause of that constant mild pain in my chest : ( I am unhappy about this because I thought I had figured it out. Oh well, everything that ISN'T causing it is something more to cross off the list, and go from there.

At least I'll have my teeth all fixed up, and that is good.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I’m so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place, to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest.

-A Place For My Head, Linkin Park

Contemplating The Sand Box

At this point in time, no one in the unit knows exactly when or MOB (mobilization) date is. I have talked to the company commander and our detachment acting first sergeant, and both say the same thing: Some high ranking person in the Pentagon knows and has yet to decide the information is on a 'need to know' basis for us.

Best guess goes as follows. Likely time frame for MOB to begin: sometime between July 15th and August 15th. When this happens, we will all meet at the armory and spend a day or two getting things ready there, then head to another armory to prep for traveling to either Fort Riley, Kansas, or to Fort Hood, Texas. Hopefully it's Riley, although I have never been to Hood, Riley is just closer to home and that tends to be more favorable.

At Fort Riley/Hood, we would 'gear up/train up' for deployment to the Sand Box, getting desert cammie uniforms and any other equipment/clothing we would need, then spending time learning about all the different situations that can occur in a hostile environment and how we can deal with those. Should the unit learn everything quickly we will be done with this in 60 days. If we have problems it will be 90 days. We will be done in 60 days, we are high speed/low drag, trust me on this one. If not, we would have never been able to do the previous mission that was just handed off to the 600th Transportation so we could go overseas.

So, I guess the question left to answer goes as follows: How do I feel about my impending deployment to the middle east? This is a complicated question. Do I enjoy the idea of being away from home, away from my sweetheart, having my wedding canceled, and being put into harm's way? Certainly those are not enjoyable thoughts to have. However, with 15 years in, I have never gone overseas, never been involved in any sort of deployment into a hostile environment, and to be perfectly honest, I may never have this chance again. Certainly I do not want anything bad to happen to me, but all the same, these are opportunities that will never come around again. You are only young once. Also, our unit is one of only like half a dozen or so transportation units in the nation that have not been deployed, this goes for reserve and full timers, so it was certainly our turn.

The money is good too, I've been trying to figure out just exactly how much an E-6 Staff Sergeant with 15 years in would make, but there are no real reliable ways to figure it out exactly. I know it's above 50K, but I've also heard some people say it's closer to 75,000, so who knows? I will find that out I'm sure before I go over, and from there I will work out a budget to take care of any bills that belly and I will incur while I'm gone, and still have enough to A) move to be with her when I get back B) put away about 10,000 for a downpayment when we decide to get a house C) pay off the truck D) pay off debts E) BUY MY SRT4!!!

This time will also be an excellent opportunity for our unit to bond and become a much more cohesive and mission capable group of soldiers, with experiences that we can someday tell children and grandchildren, and new members who join our unit. Our unit has a proud history dating back to WWI and WWII as infantry, and a lot of the NCO's within the unit are trained 11B Infantry, Ft. Benning children. I know this knowledge that those of us who have a primary MOS of 11B have will come in handy. Certainly I pray we never have to use it, but it's good to know we are skilled in those areas, and that will rub off on the younger troops who are merely 88M (transportation).

The biggest concern I have is being separated from my better half, from the one person who enriches my life so much. I'm already away from belly as we speak, and that's hard enough, but I am confident we will have a couple of months together before she heads off for her MOS school, likely to be in Pensacola, Florida. But the idea of being separated for a year is supremely difficult to ponder, and although I know it will be a one day at a time thing, it's still so hard to think about. If I didn't trust her so completely it would be harder, though. Thankfully we have come so far in the last year, trust has been earned, and that's a wonderful thing.

So, in to sum it up, I'm actually looking forward to this deployment, but it's tempered. Both by the thought of being away from belly, and also the dangers I will face. But I am am supremely confident in my own abilities and in the abilities of my unit as a whole, and that is enough to give me peace of mind. And I know that the one person I'd rather be with than any other in this world or the next, will be waiting for me to return : )

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The grass was greener, The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter, The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded, The dawn mist growing
The water flowing, The endless river

-High Hopes, Pink Floyd

PT Test Coming Up!!

We have a military physical training test coming up the 21st of May, so I'm trying to increase my workouts. Tonite I went to Offutt and had a rather bad workout. But, even though it didn't go like I wanted, I can tell that my abs are a lot stronger than they have been in years, from all my situps and bicycle kicks I've been doing lately. I know this because I'm able to keep my pace up and my breathing fairly regular as I run even though I'm tired. I ran the entire 4 miles and did both sets of pushups/situps/bicycle kicks, but I was only able to ride the stationary bike for about 10 minutes because I had a severe cramp setting in on my right calf muscle.

I had my weight down to 180, but I'm up about 187 now, after about a month solid of eating fast food at least once a day haha. Hopefully I can get that down to 180 again by the 20th, because, lemme tell you, you can run a LOT faster and feel less winded dropping even 5 lbs off. My biggest concern right now is my pushups though. I have trouble even hitting 50 right now, a far cry from my goal of 85 for this PT test or 100 by August. I think this is mostly because of my job, because after lugging around about 200 windshields during the day, your muscles are pretty tired by the end of the day, and even in the morning many times you will still feel the effects of a particularily strenuous day.

I still have to work my way up though, because if you stop doing pushups for even a month or so (as I did), you seem to lose any progress you had made. I was doing about 70 pretty easily before I got sick in February, now I have a short time to try and do better than that. I'm not TOO worried about it. When you take the actual test, your first 30 or so pushups are all adrenaline anyway, from the excitement, then after that you settle in, try to remember to breathe, and crank them out, 10 at a time.

The situps, well, as long as someone decent is holding my feet I'm okay, I should get 90 without too much effort, but I'm going to gun for 100. The run is always my thing, and I haven't ever been beaten in military competition, but the last couple of years have been really hard to stay ahead of the younger guys getting in. I'm guessing it won't be as hard this time, I've been running quite a bit since the New Year, where as in years past I would do it on sheer will power and determination more so than training beforehand.

I've also been eating better. No fast food leading up to this PT test. Hell, hopefully none after the test either, but I have to be a realist. Oh, speaking of food, I have something to say about the salads that seem to be all the rage these days, from Wendy's to McDonalds to the ritzier places like Panera bread. Who in the hell eats raisins, dates, oranges, cranberries, or any variety of freaking NUTS on their salad???? That is just weird as hell, if you eat something like that you should immediately be committed for your odd behavior. What's next, whipped cream with cherry sauce topping for steak?? YUCK!!

Whoever is coming up with these weird combinations is just loony. I have to think that the only reason people are eating this rubbish is to they can act all worldly and 'food fashionable' while they are thinking to themselves "What the fuck am I doing this tastes like shit!!" Salad is lettuce, tomatos, carrots, cucumbers, croutons, bacon bits, and salad dressing. Feel free to add some pasta salad as a side, and cottage cheese too. Hell, even toss a pickle in there. But dammit, leave the fruit for the cereal!!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

When I came to visit you
That's when I knew, that I could never have you
I knew that before you did, still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning, like there's always been,
And I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive

-Motorcycle Drive By, Third Eye Blind

1200 Seconds Of Bliss

My days from January thru March were that of constant waiting to get done with work and get home, to check the mail, to see if, hopefully, belly had a chance to get a letter off to me. And to open the mailbox and find a letter was utter elation, but even if there wasn't a letter there, it wasn't too disappointing. That anticipation would just build up for the next night, because if she couldn't get a letter sent one day she almost always had one sent the next.

Nowadays she can call me on the cell phone, but the service isn't that great around her area, so she has to stand in specific areas of her squad bay in order to get good reception, such as, oddly enough, sitting curled up inside the television stand in the back of the platoon bay. This isn't the most comfortable situation, but it's good enough so that we can enjoy one another's company, even if it be only electronically through the wonders of the digital phone network. Also, she's one hour ahead of me, so when she calls me at 7:30 my time, it's already 8:30 her time. Because she gets up at around 4 a.m. every morning, I know I can't keep her on the phone for very long, so she can get to bed at a decent time, and not keep others up in her platoon bay.

So for the rest of the day, it's just waiting... and lately trying to do little things to prepare for my deployment. belly and I have been together for more than 2 years, and over time our relationship has only gotten better. Certainly we have our disagreements, but regardless of the situation, we always came out on the other side stronger than ever. Whenever my friends would get married, I'd find myself wondering if I'd ever find anyone that I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with. I would look at who I was with and think to myself "well, I guess you just settle for the person you are with." I am so thankful now that things DIDN'T work out with them. I'm glad I found someone who showed me how wrong I was about just settling.

It's interesting that you can work so hard to try and save something that wasn't ever meant to be, and you can look back afterwards and wonder just what the hell you were trying to hold onto in the first place. I remember something someone told me once, a little adage that say so much. "Sometimes the heart has reasons that reason does not understand". Looking back over a lot of my life's experiences, this statement applies so often. I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, regardless of why. A relationship can never be rewarding if the love is only one sided, it is best to just walk away. Letting go certainly causes some heartache, but it's much more heart wrenching holding onto something that isn't meant to be.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
-The Joker, Steve Miller Band

Don't Allow That Knot To Be Tied!!!

So anyways, being that I'm going to get married soon myself, well, married legally soon, actual marriage gala not for another year or so, I have really found the 'runaway Georgia bride' story to be quite riveting.

Okay, that's not really the reason why, I just think it's completely ridiculous when you start reading a little deeper into the whole situation. Take for instance her photos, especially the ones with her fiance in the picture with her. Her eyes, geesh, her eyes are all wide like she's a deer in the headlights. The look on her face screams "GET ME OUT OF HERE I'VE LOST ALL TRACK OF REALITY!!" in all the pictures.

That's why I really thought there was something fishy, the first time I saw the pictures it didn't seem right, then when I heard she had been found in New Mexico, I was like, "okay, no way, she's up to something". Sure enough, she lied about being abducted, she had just run away.

Did you see the details on the freaking wedding though??? More than 600 people had been invited to the wedding bash, and it was to feature 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen. FOURTEEN??? HOLY SHIT!! I would have ran away too!! Are there any churches with a big enough pulpit area to put THAT many people up there?? Can the bridesmaids/groomsmen on the ends even hear what the hell is going on? To have THAT many groomsmen, geesh, I think I would have been putting people I didn't even LIKE in my wedding party. "Hey Bill, yah, I know I kicked you out of my house in college, but I'm wondering, think you might like to be in my wedding?" Yah, sorry Bill, I don't think so.

Then of course, this little gem, that her uncle said at a press conference: ''Jennifer had some issues the family was not aware of. We're looking forward to loving her and talking to her about these issues,'' he said. OOookay, SOME issues... YOU THINK??? You look forward to loving her?? Late night sneaky uncle here or what? No wonder she's screwed up, what did anyone expect??

The poor guy in all of this, I really feel bad for him, especially because he doesn't see the writing on the wall. The wedding is still on, merely postponed, her fiancé John Mason says. Well hey John, I don't think she feels the same way. Like I said before, she did not look like the 'happy bride to be' in any of her pictures, rather she looked totally uncomfortable. If John Mason knows what is good for him, he'll kick this freak to the curb and move on. She already ruined one wedding estimated to have cost &100,000 (yah, WOAH!!), I wouldn't give her a second chance at all.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Does it hurt to remember
Does it help to forget
Do you know what you started
When you lit the fuse of regret
-Def Leppard, Paper Sun

Wedding Up, Wedding Down

No, it's not some sort of goofy nuptual military patrol tactic. The wedding is now back to it's original scheduled date. Word came down early yesterday that once my military unit is mobilized, even though we will be in the states at either Ft. Riley in Kansas or Ft. Hood in Texas for 2 months before we go overseas, the only way they will allow anyone any time off is either a death in the immediate family or your own death.

Disappointing. In a word, I guess that pretty much covers it. Very disappointing. Frustrating too. I was excited about everything, all the planning, getting everthing taken care of before I go overseas. Now it appears that instead of the traditional wedding we had planned, we will be making an appearance before a judge/justice of the peace and getting married 'legally', and the wedding will be in early September of 2006. At least that covers things, not just for the extra money that she and I will both receive as part of our pay, but in the unfortunate even that anything might happen while I'm overseas (but, don't worry about that, I'm not going to allow that to happen!!).

I guess my worst nightmare at this point is that a year from now, when the unit gets back from the middle east, and we are demobilizing, belly's unit gets deployed and she is gone for a year. I pray that doesn't occur, but you have to be ready for just about anything, just in case. That scenario would be quite interesting, should it happen, I would be moving to wherever she's stationed at (not deployed, but her actual stateside marine base) and live there waiting for her return. That would be alright though, I'd still have the cats to keep me company : )


Current Lyrical Ramblings

All the little ants are marching
Red and black antennae waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way
-Ants Marching, Dave Matthews Band

Welcome BACK To BMG!!

Okay, I have a confession to make. Back when I first got a CD player, in like, what, 'nam or so, I think I joined BMG Music Club 4 times or so, and I don't think I ever did buy the mandatory CD after getting the 8 free ones each time. Yes, I know, terrible!! Oh well, that was a long time ago, I'm certain the statue of limitations that would hold me to the death penalty for such an offense has long expired.

Well, anyways, having about 30 of my cds stolen had me thinking about joining up again. It was a lot of my best music that got taken too. Here's the list:

1) AC/DC - Back In Black
2) Collective Soul - self titled
3) Collective Soul - Disciplined Breakdown
4) Def Leppard - Vault
5) Godsmack - self titled
6) Guns N Roses - Use Your Illusion II
7) Journey - Greatest Hits
8) Led Zeppelin - IV
9) Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
10) Matrix - Soundtrack
11) Metallica - And Justice For All
12) Nickelback - Silver Side Up
13) Ozzy - No More Tears
14) Puddle Of Mudd - Drift And Die
15) Rob's Guitar Hits
16) Rob's Guitar Hits II
17) Sevendust - Home
18) Sevendust - Seasons
19) Soundgarden - A Sides
20) Styx - Greatest Hits
21) Alter Bridge - One Day Remains
22) Crossfade - self titled
23) Creedence Clearwater Revival - Chronicles
24) Chevelle - Wonder What's Next
25) American Wedding - Soundtrack
26) Rob Zombie - Past, Present, Future
27) Creed - Weathered
28) Velvet Revolver - Contraband
29) Tool - Aenima

The ones in green I have replaced using BMG. Those in yellow I will be replacing using BMG. The ones in purple I replaced on my own. The ones in orange I have to purchase somewhere other than BMG. The two in red were compilations that I can't replace, which sucks. As a lot of you know I also had a bunch of my DVDs stolen too. The funny thing about that is that the cost of replacing each DVD is actually cheaper than replacing an individual CD if I were purchasing it at someplace like Walmart or Target. How dumb is that? Oh well. At least the CDs aren't too costly if I just use BMG.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Cherry stem with her mouth she could tie in a knot
Favourite trick she does, One in ten that she's got
Making friends, setting trends, hardly having to try
All the looks, by the book, best that money can buy
Look what your money bought, It's all that she's got
It keeps her company, Straight from Mom and Daddy .
-Nickelback, Money Bought

Flip Flop Day & Night

Okay, first off, I'm listening folks, so I'm going to stick to one color, seeing how everyone complains about being painfully debilitatingly blinded by my colorchromatic entries here, I hope this works, I'll stick with it.

Now, about two weeks ago or so, my manager came to me and asked if I wanted to take over for a week for the southwest night driver, Dwayne, who works about 4 hours west of Omaha, in Kearney. He was going on vacation. His runs starts in Kearney and goes south and rambles all over, all the way to Benkelman and then back up to Ogallala, and down the interstate to Kearney again, with a bunch of stops along the way. It can add up to 600 miles on the longest nights.

Our general manager offered me basically double my normal pay, and they would put me up in a hotel for 5 days, AND they gave me 300 bucks petty cash to use for food or whatever other expenses might come up. They figured with Belly gone that I would be the best choice to send. Hell, I wish Belly could have gone along, that would have been awesome, she would have had a hotel room with continental breakfast and a pool and well, you know, living it up so to speak. Alas, she is not yet home, so that was not to be. Even so, of course I jumped at the chance to go, if for no other reason, the money was good.

I took my newly purchased 100 lb weight set so I could work out in the room, and my military truck radio 'set up' that I have, basically a cd boom box with ac/dc converter, because the radios in our Sprinter vans blow ass, tinny and worthless with tape decks. I also rented a lap top from Ace Rent to Own (big mistake, more on that later). Headed out Monday the 25th of April and stayed in the Country Inn in Kearney, a nice little 3 star that I picked out with wireless internet and wired high speed access.

The first night I was out from 8 pm till 10:30 the next morning. I expected this though, because only Dwayne, the normal driver who was on vacation, really knows this route. All in all though I did really well, I only had to call him up twice with any questions. It is hard as hell to sleep when the light is out though, so I only got about maybe 5 hours of sleep each day, if that.

I ate one meal a day, unless I got back at the time the continental breakfast was going on, then I would indulge on that (twice). Believe it or not I ate at reasonable places, and ended up with about half of that 300 bucks leftover. Although, I did charge 2 beers on when I went to Old Chicago. If they don't like that, oh well, screw 'em, it's not like I was spending extravagantly and going to steak houses or anything.

Oh yes, the lap top, oh my, what a piece of shit that was. Well, the laptop itself was probably pretty good, except for these two little popups that looked like Microsoft download alerts, but they were suspicious, so I just closed them as I was formatting the computer with some of my own software at home before I left. Well, when I hooked it up to the internet in Kearney, I was working online and as I hit enter one of those popups came up just then and boom started downloading some really horrible virus. Basically the computer just locked up, and when I rebooted, well, what do you know? There is a little white X inside of a red circle, like an error looking thing, but it was some program that was running, and didn't show up in the task manager, and I was unable to remove it using Add/Remove programs.

I left clicked on the icon, thinking I might see what it was, BOOM, Internet Explorer opens up "BIG BLACK COCKS AND WHITE MAMAS". Shit, at this point I knew I was dealing with a virus so I put in our Spy Sweeper disc I had, that didn't work. I mean, it showed viruses, freaking 140 of them!!! And it got rid of the majority of them, but about 35 or so that it would delete would IMMEDIATELY be back up and running again.

So I downloaded CW Shredder, Add Aware SE, Hijack This, about half a dozen other known free spyware eliminators, even Microsoft's own spyware remover, and fiddled with safe mode, unhooked the internet, manually tried to fix the registry, and I got no where. This was really frustrating. I basically gave up and used it 'as is'.

As the week went on, it got worse. I came back from my night run yesterday morning to find 25 (LITERALLY) shortcut icons on the desktop. GAMBLING, BIG BLACK TITS, CHEAP AIR FAIR, RENT A CAR, BLOW JOBS, etc etc. I just shook my head, because, as I figured, I deleted them only to have them come right back up. I called the place I rented it from and told the guy what was going on, and he said "oh, that can't be possible, we use a root disc to redo the hard drive each time someone brings the computer in" and I told him that either someone didn't reboot this computer or their boot disc is infected as all hell, something he needs to look into.

So using the internet was next to impossible, I was able to chat a little bit, that was basically all, trying to upload to my blog was a disaster because I kept losing long posts, it would automatically open that BIG BLACK COCKS site and when I would 'back' to this page, 'poof' nothing. After about 4 times of that I gave up.

I did work out every day, and one day I even got myself down to the treadmill and ran 2 miles. But usually aerobic stuff was just too much, I was far too fatigued. This basically flipped my day upside down, and made me stay up during hours I was normally asleep, and vice versa. That is really hard to do. I even took soda, candy bars, Doritos, etc, along to nibble on, still didn't work that well. So about every night, I stopped and had to take about an hour long nap about 2/3 of the way through the trip to help me make it safely.

Then... last night, wow. I don't know if it was something I ate or just the week catching up with me, but about a half hour into the run I got a splitting headache and got all nasty sweaty feeling. I kept going for about another hour but I finally stopped and took an hour and a half nap. That helped, I felt a lot better, so off I went again. Then, in one town where I have two stops, I was at the first one and broke the key off in the front door. ACK!!! Yah, damn!! Called Dwayne up... turns out, there is no key for this particular stop. Turns out I happened to have a key that was opening the door and shouldn't have been. Worse yet, that key was for my next stop. Talk about an unexpectedly aggravating situation.

I was able to get the old part of the key out of the door it didn't belong in, then off I went to the next stop, where I put that part of the key in the door, and well, didn't get anywhere with it. Then, to make matters worse, I couldn't get it out of the door. Not that it really mattered, with needle nose pliers a person could get that out. I think with my Leatherman I would have been able to get the lock open, using the large screwdriver head that is.

I had to put seven windshields outside leaned up against the building, which was bad, because this particular customer is a real jerkoff about his 'product' being perfect and put in the CORRECT racks when it is delivered. Oh well, fuck him, who really cares, as long as he gets it and it's not scratched, and hopefully it's not. But hey, if it is scratched, we'll just send him more. You can see how concerned I am right? : )

So, after like an hour or more of dicking around with those two stops, I was finally back on the road. Then after another stop, I had to stop and sleep again, I was just exhausted, and the broken key episode only drained me even more, as far as stress and being in the cold and the frustration, plus being the last day, I think I had just let a lot of fatigue build up and regardless of how often I seemed to stop to cat nap I was just as tired, so I just kept driving from that point, yelling, head out the window, throwing my arms all over, whatever it took to stay awake.

So anyways, I made it. Yes, I know, you are all so incredibly happy for me. One thing is for sure, I don't think I would do this again, it just tosses your entire world topsy-turvy, I'm all messed up now sleep wise and I bet it will be a good week of normal schedule before I'm back to my normal routine again. I'm glad it's over. Now, time to focus on a wedding, deployment, getting my baby back home, and ... oh, I need a haircut.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

My hands are tied,
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by,
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside,
by bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide,
And history bears the scars of our civil wars.
- Civil War, Guns N Roses

Fall Fashions For The Stylish Soldier

The Army has a new uniform on it's way, to be distributed out to the bulk of the regular Army in October. But oddly enough, we have received word that for our deployment, rather than getting the desert BDU uniform, we will get the new uniform before 95% of the regular army will get it.

No new word from anyone about deployment. I'm just living life normally, don't really want to let it bug me. What else do you do? Next week for work, I travel to Kearney, Nebraska and take over from Monday thru Friday for our night driver out there who is taking vacation. I get to stay in a nice little three star hotel, internet access, full workout facilities with pool and sauna, a restaurant, etc. It will probably take me a couple of days to figure out where all the little towns are, because even though I mapped them out and printed them off on Yahoo maps, some of businesses didn't even show up.

But, I'm getting paid well for this, so I'm happy about that. Do not be surprised if you are reading this about a month from now and I've gotten another job though, my body takes quite a beating working with windshields and the job overall is just terrible (even though I choose not to really talk about it much on here heheh). Hopefully someone has that job testing easy chairs for 50 bucks an hour??? One can only dream : )

Current Lyrical Ramblings
You clean out your room, and under your bed
Lay a picture long forgotten
With a hand to your head, you sigh out loud
As the memory rushes over - and buries you
- Cry In The Sun, Better Than Ezra

The Big Sandbox

I was excused from my Army National Guard drill on the 9th and 10th of this month in order to spend time with belly, and to make up for that missed drill I was to attend a recruiting function at Camp Ashland on Saturday the 16th, where I would be the NCOIC (non commissioned officer in charge) of equipment, in this case, a station (much like a booth at the fair) at which high schoolers/potential guard members could look at our M915 A3 semi truck and trailer and I'd answer questions about them.

On Friday night, I got home to a frantic answering machine message from my unit, telling me to call "immediately" upon receiving the message. I didn't like the sound of that, and sure enough, upon calling, received notice that we had been put on activation alert for possible deployment to the 'Sandbox'. Now, not sure if I need to explain what 'Sandbox' means, it's basically one of a number of places, all in the middle east. In our specific case, it means one of two places basically, and most likely one place... Iraq.

I made a few phone calls to let some people know what was going on, belly's parents, my parents, a few service providers (cable television/internet, cell phone, credit card companies) checking on what I'll need to do when my deployment begins. I don't want to be stuck at the last minute realizing that I've got things I should have had done months before, I procrastinate enough as it is heh heh.

So the day after the call I was at Camp Ashland running our station, answering questions about the truck and our mission, "this is the primary transportation vehicle in the United States military, 450 horsepower, 1450 lb feet of torquer, 100 gallons of fuel at roughly 3 miles per gallon" etc, etc. I started to notice that every officer of the rank of Major or higher seemed to be making a beeline for our station and pretty much asking the same question and making the same comments.

"So, I hear you got the call last night?" or "Yes, I'm sure you will do just fine, the 189th Transportation has made one hell of a name for itself." That sort of stuff. What this tells me is that there are people above us who know a lot more about it than we do at unit level, so I would say, it's about a 99% sure thing that we are going to be over in Iraq.

When you ask? Train up is likely to start in mid to late July or early August. Probably 'in country' (Iraq) sometime nearing the end of September to early October. So, with this in mind, belly and I have moved the wedding plans up by one year. If something were to happen to either of us, I want everything to be financially and legally secure, and this is really the best thing for us right now. It certainly shakes up the time table for belly's parents, but hopefully not too badly.

I was trying to work out the pay scale for what I will earn while over there, and I can't seem to pinpoint exact numbers, except to say that it's going to be over $50,000. That won't be too bad. I also look at this differently than I'm sure a lot of guys in my unit would... I have 15 years in and I've never been overseas, and although it's not a real 'wish' of mine to be in Iraq, it is a goal of mine to get overseas time while in the military, and my time will start running short in a few years. This also gives me the opportunity to give something back to the Army, to my country.

Also, if I do have to go, I want to go with the ones who got me here. Our unit is ex infantry, as infantry we were one of the best trained Army National Guard units and it showed whenever we went head to head against the regular Army. We didn't win every battle but even if we lost (rarely) we inflicted a lot of damage on those we faced. That's why I find it quite funny when ignorant people say "Oh... National Guard" as though we are substandard to the regular Army. Oh, I'm sorry, you fucking ignorant douchebag, we are required to not only be proficient within our military jobs, but also to have regular civilian full time jobs on top of that. This isn't the National Guard of the 1970's, regardless of what the uneducated might think.

But anyways, lemme get off the soap box on that one. I've got a lot of work to do in the next three months, and quite honestly a logistical nightmare in terms of what to do with all of our stuff while belly is at training and I'm deployed. But I'm not too worried. It's all going to go just fine, a few rough edges I'm sure, but nothing belly and I and our families won't be able to work through.

Current Lyrical Ramblings
You had alot to say. You had alot of nothing to say. Come down.
Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.
- Eulogy, Tool

Giving The Machine The Finger!!!

At work we have a large machine that is basically a hydraulic press with a steel frame built around it, like a box, called a cardboard press, which puts out bails of cardboard. We call it simply the "bailer" for short.

On the front of the bailer is a door that you normally shut when you fill it full of cardboard boxes, so you can press it. This door has two 40 lb weights as counterbalances, each connected to a chain that runs over a sprocket. Now, a lot of the time we basically break the rules and leave it open, and sometimes, a piece of cardboard will catch on the bottom of the open door and lift it up higher than it's supposed to go and knock one of the counterbalance chains off it's sprocket.

When this happens, I'm the one who ends up fixing it, because our assistant manager is a chode, he's supposed to be the maintenance guy but he's about as useful as a fork to eat cereal with. All I need to repair the door is a large screwdriver, which I wedge underneath of the chain, lift it up, use my other hand to position the chain on the sprocket, then slide the screwdriver out letting the counterweight pull the chain up and over the sprocket where it belongs.

Well, because I am so infinitely wise, I figured I could repairing this problem a couple of days ago without using the screwdriver. Everything went as to plan at first, I got the chain pulled up, using my hand to hold up the end with the weight on it, and my other hand instead of a screwdriver to align the chain to the sprocket, but as I went to slowly release the weight it slid in my hand, and the chain pinched the glove on my other hand and pulled my middle finger up and through between the chain and the sprocket.

Uhm, OUCH!! *hopping on one foot*

I jumped down (you are about 8 feet in the air when you are repairing this thing) and it didn't seem too bad, but then the shock sort of wore off, and as I was trying to tug that glove off, the pain started in like a large nail being pounded into my finger. I got the glove off and blood was squirting from the end of my finger, I just wrapped it into my shirt and sort of doubled over, I was sort of in that semi coherent state of "arggggggh, how bad is this going to be" and trying to fight crying out from the pain.

Of course my dingleberry assistant manager is out of the office asking "what's wrong, what happened?" and of course I can't answer because it hurts too much to talk. After about 2 minutes I pulled my finger out of my shirt where I had been squeezing the hell out of it, and saw the damage. As it ran through the sprocket, a tooth punched right through the middle of the nail, and that is where blood was now slowly oozing from. The nail was cracked near the edge where another tooth had clipped it. All in all, painful, but lucky even so. had it caught my hand further in it could have broken the finger or worse, might have lost my insulting digit!!

So here I sit with a blackened fingernail. It won't build up pressure because of the hole already busted through the nail, so that part is good, no need to have to drill a hole for relief. The nail is going to be about half dead though, so it's likely I won't lose the nail completely. Anyways, a really bone headed move on my part, I tried to save myself the 30 seconds to walk to the tool cabinet and get that screwdriver and instead gave the machine the finger, damn near completely. And the machine damn near took it!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings
Can you feel it crush you, does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running away from these things that hold you down.
Do they complicate you, because they make you feel like this?
Of all the colors that you've shined, this is surely not your best.
- Colors, Crossfade

Belly's Time On Leave

We had sooooo much stuff planned out that first day, and for the most part we got to it.

New phone, new coverage plan: went to Alltel, wanted to bitch smack the woman we talked to. "Well, you don't have extended coverage and this phone is out of warranty." Yah, despite the fact that I had to get a new phone only one month before for the SAME problem this one had. Let me just tell you right now, do not EVER EVER EVER buy a Motorola cell phone, they are junk, they are shit, they will not charge. I was stupid enough to purchase the T720, a monumental turd of a phone whose most amazing feature was the ability to have KEY LAG, as stupid as that sounds, on a phone... you push in the number, press dial, send, lift to your ear... waiting, waiting, error recording, then you look, and 'oh, well, one number didn't register.' Along with the completely ignorant charging system that ALWAYS fails, same as it did on the Talkabout, but oh when I bought this one I was assured that they had fixed all of that.

I was getting really ticked, "So basically what you are telling me is that I have a phone that is just over a month old, that is just like brand new, I've never abused it, or anything, it will not charge, and you expect me to pay my monthly bill for the next 8 months without a phone to use???" To this the saleslady didn't have a good response, BECAUSE OF COURSE HER REASONING WAS RIDICULOUS!! So she told us she had to call her manager in some meeting and let us know. In the meantime, we headed out to...

Price engagement rings: so off to the mall we went, Helzbergs, where I learned about the 4 C's of diamonds, clarity, cut, carats, and uh... cash consumption? Hehehe, actually, it was fun, and I'm glad I waited for belly to be home so we could look together, because I would have been really lost as to what exactly she wanted. We ended up looking all over though, there was a lot in our price range, so I was happy about that. We decided not to be too drastic and not buy the ring on the same day we look. While we were at the mall, the Alltel lady called us back and told us it was sorted out, so we headed back over there...

Of course, I had to redo my calling plan to get a new phone, a 40 dollar LG that so far has been 100 times better than that piece of shit Motorola. We also got our calling plan switched over to the National Freedom plan, so that belly and I can talk for free in most areas of the United States. We pay about 20 bucks more a month but it's worth it. Then, after a couple days, when we got home, come to find out the freaking lady screwed me over, she tossed in a car charger that I never asked for, and the phone itself was supposed to be 99 cents, so the 40 dollar charge was not for the phone but for that stupid adapter that I can get for 10 bucks at Walmart. That charger is going back to Alltel, damn, it never ends!! RIPOFF!!

Get my name added to her bank account: We went and got this taken care of, because of some issues that came up while she was away, and I realized I had no way to fix the problem without her approving me to be able to do so. Thankfully I was able to work with them to at least deposit money into the account.

Purchased a lap top for belly to use at MOS school: I didn't realize she actually wanted to buy one this very day, I was under the impression that we were just going to be looking, browsing, but that was okay, I figure if we have to be apart for 8 months or so, that the purchase makes sense, as long as she takes care to protect it and keep it safe and sound, and I'm sure she will. So we came home with a new laptop.

Let's see, some other things... we set up an appointment to get our engagement photos taken, at Walmart of all places, because to be quite honest, they have a really good photo center. We were also going to go test drive an SRT4 *evil grin* but we didn't get a chance : ( The time will come though, oh yes, I will have that car!!

There was more to that day, but those were the big things. Wow, I couldn't believe HOW MUCH CHOCOLATE we had in our house. Talk about completely ridiculous!! Is it blasphemy for me to say that I was actually sick of chocolate? Probably not, for the simple fact that I'm not a female, if I were that might be a horrific statement to make. I mean, we had a TWO POUND CHOCOLATE RABBIT on our table!! Oh, he's gone now, but only after getting my blood chocolate level to maybe .5% or so. Certainly high enough that I shouldn't operate heavy machinery. I think today, the only chocolate left is the dark chocolate bunny in the fridge. He will likely be wrapped up and frozen for belly when she gets home from healing up at Parris Island.

I had to go back to work on Wednesday, Yahhhhhhhh!!! Okay, not really exciting, in fact, quite annoying, but soon... oh yes, I walk away from that place!! Belly got a lot of rest, and that's really what I wanted. It was so wonderful to be able to call home and have her pickup and just hear her voice, I can't believe how much something so apparently miniscule such as that is anything but when you don't have the opportunity. We ate like pigs the entire week, ordered pizza and like 8 movies one day (GEESH, that was a LOT of movies, my silly baby).

Oh, the engagement ring... we found one at Zales, and belly immediately knew it was the one, I could see it in her eyes when she looked at it, so we made arrangements to have it sized, then I picked it up two days later on Thursday.

On the way back home from Zales, I said I wanted to drive up and see the lake, something we normally would do by just walking up there, but with her hip being hurt, I didn't want to do that. Of course, I had a plan with going there, but as we got to the lake, there was a big family picnic and they were on the dock with the gazeebo, which was unfortunate. So we walked down the path around the lake till we got to the first bench, and I got down on one knee and proposed there, and she did not say yes... okay, she said "OF COURSE I WILL" quite forcefully : )

I am so blessed. I sometimes wonder what this woman sees in me, how did I get so tremendously fortunate to wind up with someone this amazing? I used to always wonder how people knew when someone was "the one", and I figured maybe they just settled for someone or something. I now know what the feeling is like. It's a combination, your best friend, someone who enhances every aspect of your life, the first person you want to say good morning to, the person you want to whisper goodnight to every night, to share your life with. Anyways, I guess I'm just trying to say I'm so happy, and so thankful with where my life is at today.

Sunday came far too quickly for us. We had to be at the airport by 7:30, so off we went. Belly used her crutches, so I carried her stuff with her, I got a pass to enter the boarding gate with her. I didn't want to let her go as I hugged her, not knowing just how long she would have to be at Parris Island recovering, not knowing if she would immediately have to go to Marine Combat Training afterwards, or even if she would be able to come home before her MOS school starts. I just knew that I wanted to save that moment, holding her close. Of course the time came to let her go get on the plane. I felt so down on the way home, but all the same, still so proud of my sweety, for everything she has done. It won't be long and we'll be back together again.

Current Lyrical Ramblings: "All along I have wanted you, I pray tonite that you want me to. All along there was no one else, I've been waiting here, all by myself." - All Along, Blessed Union Of Souls