To Whom It May Concern

1200 Seconds Of Bliss

My days from January thru March were that of constant waiting to get done with work and get home, to check the mail, to see if, hopefully, belly had a chance to get a letter off to me. And to open the mailbox and find a letter was utter elation, but even if there wasn't a letter there, it wasn't too disappointing. That anticipation would just build up for the next night, because if she couldn't get a letter sent one day she almost always had one sent the next.

Nowadays she can call me on the cell phone, but the service isn't that great around her area, so she has to stand in specific areas of her squad bay in order to get good reception, such as, oddly enough, sitting curled up inside the television stand in the back of the platoon bay. This isn't the most comfortable situation, but it's good enough so that we can enjoy one another's company, even if it be only electronically through the wonders of the digital phone network. Also, she's one hour ahead of me, so when she calls me at 7:30 my time, it's already 8:30 her time. Because she gets up at around 4 a.m. every morning, I know I can't keep her on the phone for very long, so she can get to bed at a decent time, and not keep others up in her platoon bay.

So for the rest of the day, it's just waiting... and lately trying to do little things to prepare for my deployment. belly and I have been together for more than 2 years, and over time our relationship has only gotten better. Certainly we have our disagreements, but regardless of the situation, we always came out on the other side stronger than ever. Whenever my friends would get married, I'd find myself wondering if I'd ever find anyone that I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with. I would look at who I was with and think to myself "well, I guess you just settle for the person you are with." I am so thankful now that things DIDN'T work out with them. I'm glad I found someone who showed me how wrong I was about just settling.

It's interesting that you can work so hard to try and save something that wasn't ever meant to be, and you can look back afterwards and wonder just what the hell you were trying to hold onto in the first place. I remember something someone told me once, a little adage that say so much. "Sometimes the heart has reasons that reason does not understand". Looking back over a lot of my life's experiences, this statement applies so often. I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, regardless of why. A relationship can never be rewarding if the love is only one sided, it is best to just walk away. Letting go certainly causes some heartache, but it's much more heart wrenching holding onto something that isn't meant to be.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
-The Joker, Steve Miller Band