You Better Not Be Dead, Or Else!!!

I am watching the Armed Forces Network tonite. They have their own commercials on AFN, typically public service and self help type commercials, and they are usually tacky, ignorant, or just downright silly.

So why am I bringing this up? Because I just heard this on one of the AFN commercials:

"Suicide is a threat to individual readiness"

Uh, no shit, Captain Obvious? I realize it's hard to believe, but being dead is quite a detriment to your combat readiness, which is so obviously contrary to popular belief? I mean is that why you feel the need to tell us this?

Can you imagine anyone who would dare challenge this policy? I can see it now: "WHAT? You killed yourself? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING SOLDIER??? Well, it's UCMJ action for you, you are under immediate disciplinary action, and don't even think of leaving your quarters!!! You are NEVER going to be ready to deploy at this rate!!!"

This really isn't random, either. But this is probably one of the funniest ones I've heard yet.

Oh What A Day!

Had quite the day today! We were up pretty early, around 0630, to get the first round of trucks ready to load. We were bringing back KBR fuel tankers that had been wrecked, hit by roadside bombs, small arms fire, or otherwise damaged, to transport them back down to Cedar, a giant fueling station right next to Tallil.

That probably took till about 1100, then about 20 of us got ready and headed over to the Australian Island Pool, which is actually Saddam’s pool at his palace in Biap. The pool is built entirely of tile, which was interesting. It goes from about 4 foot on one end to 6 foot on the other end, in the shape of an “L”. Not all that big, but it was still fun.

We played a little HORSE on the basketball hoop they had there, that is until some moron from another unit tried to shoot the ball from across the pool and it bounced out and then into the lake or river or whatever it is that runs around the outside of the pool. They call it the island pool because it’s basically up on a small island type thing in the middle of another body of water.

Then one of the Australian soldiers came out and yelled at us for using the medicine ball from their little tent workout room as a basketball. I for one wondered why the hell that blue ball was so damn heavy, I guess now I know why. I had to mention to everyone, that very likely Saddam peed in the very pool we were swimming in, and how awesome is that? I mean come on now, it’s Saddam’s pool, do you really think he is going to get out and use the little boy’s room? I think not.

After about 3 hours of tooling around the pool, we all headed over to the Green Bean coffee place and the 24 hour PX. They also have a Pizza Hut there. I got myself a chai frappe, whatever the hell that is, because it’s what I’ve gotten at Green Bean the other 2 or 3 times I’ve actually gone to one. Some of the other guys got pizza, some did some shopping. Then we all loaded back up in our LMTV’s and headed back to the tents on the Liberty side of camp.

Then just as we were getting back, I realized that my wallet was missing. Of course I was freaking, because we were scheduled to leave the next day and typically it takes like 2 days to get a new ID card, along with counseling statements and sworn statements and other “Hi I’m a moron who lost my ID Card” procedures.

I headed back over to where we did our shopping and couldn’t find my wallet anywhere around there, then asked at the MP station just up the road, again, no luck. So we headed up to the Mayor Cell (administrative term for the people who ‘run’ specific areas of each base here) and what do you know, some 1SG had turned in my wallet just about 2 minutes before I got there, so the E-4 hadn’t even had time to do the paperwork for it, and she just handed it to me and told me not to worry about it.

Wow, talk about a load off my shoulders, I was stressing out pretty bad. I would have had to get a new ID Card, call the bank and cancel my check card, get a new driver’s license, new military Iraqi escort card, Kuwait/Iraq driver’s license for the operation of civilian vehicles here, military driver’s license, gas mask card, M-16 weapon’s card, etc, etc. I was mostly concerned though that I would lose pictures of belly, because I just don’t have very many over here. The rest of the stuff would be relatively easy to replace. Hell, the 1SG in question didn’t even take any of my cash.

I guess what comes around goes around both ways? I have turned in a couple of wallets I found without taking the person’s money too. Maybe that’s good karma? Who knows? I was just happy to have found the damn thing.

I went to be pretty early, it had been a long day and wow was I ever beat. Our hours are so strange here, we can sleep some days from 3 in the afternoon till 1 in the morning then be up for good. Oddly enough at Biap, there are more people at the MWR and gym at 3 in the morning than there are at 1500 in the afternoon, talk about strange. That’s how it works though. I noticed they had a big wall with all the states in the USA on it. People would put a push pin in the city they are from, it was interesting looking around and seeing where people in the military had come from. I noticed a couple of interesting ones.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

Standing Outside The Fire – Garth Brooks

I Want Peace And Quiet

It's never quiet here. If it's late at night or early morning or whatever, there is always the noise of trucks and humvees and diesel generators, helicopters, etc, etc, and you can never get that blissful feeling that complete and utter silence brings. Today I was sitting on the toilet and someone fired a rocket into our base and it landed nearby and shook the whole place, and of course the toilet I was sitting on. You want to talk about an instant clench of your cheeks. I want some silence!!

There are so few trees, like no grass, you can't lay on your back at night in the grass of course, and listen to the wind blowing thru the trees. And as you know there is certainly no peace here either.

I would really like to drive up into the mountains or wilderness when I get back, in my new sports car, and get out a couple of sleeping bags, and just lay on my back in the grass in the dead of night and look at the dark sky, and just take a deep breath of the pine needle and dew scented air, and play a little connect the dots with the stars. And drift off to sleep at my own leisure, without having a radio right next to my ear to update me about when we are getting back on the road, without having to worry about my next 12 hour shift to go to, without having to worry about a mortar or rocket landing in my lap and sending me away to the promised land before I'm ready to go, without stupid formations at all hours of the day or night.

I just want some 'normal' added back into my life. I want to drive down a road without looking at every pile of dirt or plastic bag or bush or dead animal wondering if someone has loaded explosives up into any of them with a remote detonator and is just waiting to kill me for no other reason than wanting to bring the typical Iraqi a better life. I want to step out my front door wearing blue jeans, a white tshirt and a nice polo or other type of shirt and go to Subway or Taco Bell or to go get a freaking beer.

I want to go to midas' house and play Need For Speed for 9 hours in a row and make monster trucks for shaner to drive around hitting cops with, I want to visit shoes' house and watch football and jump in the lake and drink more beer and piss nate off by playing poker in a completely unorthodox and ridiculous manner.

I know, all of this is coming, I'll be back soon, but wow soon can't seem to come soon enough. This place is not my idea of a nice place to live. Ever had to put moisturizing lotion on? How about on a Q Tip and then inside your ears? Now THAT is dry. Oh, you can say you've been to Baja California, or Arizona, or Mexico, or any of the other places that are within proximity to the United States, but I'm telling you right now, until you walk around with the temperature at 140 degrees and the wind turning every step into a medium powered sand blaster, you truly do not know what real heat is all about. Maybe the only good thing about not having your own vehicles to drive over here is not having to get inside and sit on seats that would very likely burn the skin off your ass cheeks, even thru denim.

I'm rambling now and I realize it, but oh well. I'm happy tonite, Nebraska won big *Yes, belly baby, sorry, football has begun, prepare for noticeable changes in my attention span on Saturdays and some Thursday nights* and I really don't have much to truly bitch about. But still, it would be nice to have some peace and quiet, and a beer, and some freaking Old Chicago nachos!!

Memorable Mike Tyson Tidbits

Most sports fans remember Mike Tyson knocking the crap out of people early on in his career. But there are also a lot of memorable quotes from Tyson:

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

After biting Holyfield he said, "This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

"Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherfucker you're fittin' to die!"

"He was screaming like my wife."

"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

"There are nine million people who see me in the ring and hate my guts. Most of them are white. That's okay. Just spell my name right."

"When you see me smash somebody's skull, you enjoy it."

"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain."

"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead."

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

"I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I'm going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain."

“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

“I ask this lady a lewd question because I'm in a lot of pain too. I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. And (Lennox) Lewis, I'm trying to give some of that pain to ya'll."

"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."

“ If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me? I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me.”

"I'm just like you. I enjoy the forbidden fruits in life, too. I think it's un-American not to go out with a woman, not to be with a beautiful woman, not to get my dick sucked”

“I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most of my money, can I at least get a blow job without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

Please Buy This Car, We Won't Try Very Hard Though To Sell It

AutoTrader.com is a website where a seller pays a fee to post an advertisement online to sell a car. Many of the cars that are advertised are at dealerships. One that caught my eye was an advertisement for a bright yellow (obviously not factory paint) 1993 Eagle Talon DL. The car had ugly seats colored yellow and black, a big silly looking spoiler wing on the back, cheap aftermarket rims, and aftermarket Walmart style fog lamps.

The 'Car Details' portion of the advertisement went as follows:

1993 EAGLE TALON STREET RACER, FAST & FURIOUS WANNABE
CAR FOR THE KID THAT HAS EVERYTHING BUT A FUNCTIONING BRAIN,
PERFECT FOR THOSE DATES WITH BIG GIRLS WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES
FOR THAT 10LBS OF CRAP IN A 5LB BAG LOOK. R U TEEN ENOUGH
TO DRIVE THIS 1? GET IN HERE WITH YOUR STEPDADS $

Wow, as soon as I read this I wanted to immediately go out and buy this car. What an amazing car this must be for someone to describe the car this way. The truly funny thing is that, according to the ad, it's a dealership selling this car, meaning someone actually paid to post this on the website.

I read further, and under the description of 'Exterior Paint', I find this:

Black
Tennessee Blue Metallic
Bright White
Banzai Blue Metallic
Bluish Red Metallic
Deep Green Pearl Metallic
Medium Quartz Metallic
Radiant Fire Red

Now, I don't see yellow listed anywhere in there, so I have to assume that, if you mix all of these colors together you get Bright Tennessee Banzai Pearl Effervescent Yellow? I guess I just don't remember my primary colors from art class as well as I should? Oh well. The ad went on further to describe the engine of the car as 'disappointing', of course bolstering my desire to buy the car even more.

Click here on 1993 Eagle Talon to read more about it, and maybe even buy this beauty, that is if I don't get to it first!!!

Another Episode of "Why Baseball Sucks"

I have such a hard time finding any real interest of value when it comes to Major League Baseball. Oh sure, I shouldn't complain too much, my Oakland A's are currently sitting on like a 9 game lead in the American League West, their largest lead since 1992, and may end up with a double digit lead by weeks end.

But in the meantime, on the other side of the American League, you have the cheating stinky Yankees making yet another run at the post season, and the Red Sox once again (save for one season of course) faltering and falling apart when crunch time hits.

An extremely frustrating aspect about the coverage of MLB by the sports media, is that the fucking Yankees and Red Sox take up probably 75% of the overall coverage and talk on local and nationwide sports shows, and it's just ridiculous. This past 3 game set where the A's swept the Red Sox is a perfect example of the stupidity of the media when it comes to the Yankees and Red Sox.

The A's are baseball's hottest team right now, with the best record in August and the best record since the break. They are 8-2 in their last 10 games and are once again making their usual yearly second half of the season push for the playoffs. Yet their wasn't even a mention in the game summary about this, or even that the A's swept the Red Sox. No, it was about how the Red Sox were 2-7 in their latest road trip and how far they have fallen off the pace from the Yankees.

Now, just to understand, I am not a Red Sox hater, I am a Yankee hater thru and thru. When the Red Sox took 4 straight from the Yankees after spotting a 3 game lead to them (which, in my opinion is far more humiliating than just a 4 game sweep), I was cheering them on. But by proximity to the Yankees, and by being arch rivals, I'm beginning to really dislike the Red Sox too.

I find myself hoping and praying year after year that the Yankees somehow do not make the playoffs, with their grotesque payroll, cheating style of 'go steal every good player we can from every other team' aquisitions, and MORONIC fans. Yet year after year the bastards get into the playoffs anyway. I am probably not the only person who would say that they would rather see the Yankees NOT make the playoffs than have the team they follow even get into the playoffs. That's how much I dislike them. They represent all that is wrong with sports.

It's likely that it will be the Yankees, Detroit Tigers, and A's winning their divisions in the American League, with the Minnesota Twins taking the wild card. I can't imagine anything that will keep the Yankees out, so again stuck watching them cheat their way into the playoffs, but of course I will laugh once again as the overpaid pile of shit franchise gets beat because they are a collection of misfit superstars, and NOT a 'team' that can actually play good enough ball to win it all.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

A manic stunning scene
I'm taking notes
Your taking me away
Into your false reality

Leech - Eve 6

H2O Anyone?

Well, we loaded up bottles of water all stacked on pallets, onto our flatbeds last night. We were out there from about 2200 till about 2 in the morning. That was okay though, it would have been so much hotter to have done it during the day.

Part of what takes so long is putting the side boards up on the trailers. We all carry enough side boards so we can make our flatbed into a cargo carrier type of trailer, but the side boards are in such crappy condition that it requires a lot of work to get them all into place, and then usually you have to use some cargo straps to secure everything.

Once that was all completed we all headed back to our tents and everyone played some poker. Now, I am a horrible poker player, and I cringe to admit this, but I forked over 30 bucks the night before last, and 40 bucks last night, in some sort of wallet lightening exercise that did nothing more than to reinforce that, yes, I do suck at poker.

I'm going to have to get myself a playstation game to learn to play the basics of the game, but I still think that going all in when I have two tens with another 10 out on the board was not a bad move, well, until the jackass to my left got himself a boat on the river, arggg!! The problem with this group of guys is that they like to go in for like 5 bucks before you see ANY cards, they are just betting on nothing, or if they have anything remotely close that might bring them a boat or flush or something, it's really irritating. And they are poor winners/losers too, bitching about everything. It's tough for me to play that way when I'm just having fun.

From now on it's back to what I was doing before: $5 limit per night, and don't play to win, just play to have fun. Oh, and don't anyone go sending me a playstation game or anything, I don't have time left here to learn the game all that well. I'll do that when I get home me thinks.

Time to go pack up my gear and get it on the truck!! Well, after the 40 minute walk back from the computer center that is :)

When Driving Is Like A Bad Video Game

I'm back out on the road again, which has been better for a couple of reasons, time goes by a lot quicker, and there are more things to do than when you are working nights, but it tends to be a lot more frightening, expecially in Bagdhad.

Bagdhad is a city of more than 6 million people, which is something a lot of people don't realize. So when you go driving around there are these HUGE buildings, and you see people standing all over, walking along the streets, even though there is a curfew, I'm certain it's difficult to enforce given the size of the city and the vast number of people who are there.

They have barricades all over the place too, probably made for vehicles not much larger than full size pickups, and there we are flying around at 45 mph down these tiny streets, weaving our way in and out of the barricades, lucky to have even 2 feet of clearence on one or the other side just to sneak thru.

It's like some sort of really bad video game, and with all the armor you wear on the ballistic vest, even the air conditioning doesn't keep you from sweating up a storm. It's just plain scary being there. As we drove thru one area there was rubbish and trash piled several feet high on both sides of the street, a place where they obviously have markets at during the day. There is no way you would be able to see a roadside bomb, it would be just too easy to hide, so you just say a little prayer and ask the Lord to please watch over you and the rest of the guys in the convoy, that it not be your time to go, that you can get thru this particular trip unscathed.

As we got to the end of that street, a blue plastic bag suddenly got sucked up and right in front of our truck, probably about the size of a medium sized garbage bag, and scared the shit out of my co driver and I. As we turned the corner and got back out on a more open stretch of road, you could hear both of us breathing hard over the whine of the turbo, and I looked over at him and he just said 'wow' quietly, and I shook my head in agreement. Little shit like that, anything that is out of the ordinary or unexpected is so damn scary here.

Thankfully we never had to stop in Bagdhad, as we have had to do sometimes in the past, because that's always an eerie feeling, you are in this HUGE city in a column of trucks that stretches sometimes for a quarter to a half mile long, lights all turned off, watching the bomb disposal units and their armored support moving along, checking suspicious areas of road. You feel like sitting ducks, and all you want to do is get a little bit of the safety that comes with moving down the road at 40 mph or so. Nothing is worse than just sitting there out in the open. Maybe that's my old infantry mindset kicking in, who knows, but I hate being a sitting duck.

Is it better to be out on the road than working at our operations at night? There really isn't a comparison. Being out on the road is what I'm trained for, but I was willing to put the hours in working nights because they needed someone to do it. What pisses me off is when I have questions about something and someone laughs about it or makes a 'Fobbit' comment (a Fobbit is someone who never leaves the FOB *forward operating base*, or in my case Tallil). I'll have more than 5000 miles on the road after this particular trip, so I'm hardly a Fobbit, so that really fucking pisses me off when I hear that, and on more than one occasion now I have had to lock someone up and let them know if I hear a specific comment from them one more time that there are going to be consequences, which isn't like me to do that but I'm fucking tired of their bullshit. Add to that the other SSG's on this trip basically leave me out of the loop on everything, and fraNk is NOT a happy camper right now.

I just keep thinking to myself that I've got about a month left in this shit hole country and then we'll be home. Oh and when we do get home I'm going to talk to JAG immediately and report a few gross violations of Army policy by my unit, things they have done that have moved others who I outrank right past me, basically stifled my ability to gain rank, and have also underutilized me here in Iraq. But that's all stuff for the future. Right now I just look forward to seeing belly again, and giving her a huge hug, and getting some semblence of normal life when I get back home. Although, our life has rarely been normal by definition of what others might consider normal, I like the quirky existence she and I share together, and I always will.

Transplanted Huskers

(A post from around the 26th of July)

Yes, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted to my journal, as someone pointed out to me the other day. Things have been relatively busy, but not so busy that I can blame my lack of intellectual interactions here on anything other than plain laziness. It’s interesting having an entire group of soldiers from one state over here, especially when that state is Nebraska. The vast majority of us are Husker fans, and then the tiny minority of those who despise the Cornhuskers, there is no in between, no one without an opinion on the issue.

That being said, it’s stinks to have to miss basically two seasons of Nebraska football. Oh yah, we got to see a few games last fall, and the Nebraska victory over Michigan in the bowl game was broadcast live on Armed Forced Networks on the sports channel, but it’s just not the same. The football season in Nebraska starts a buildup early on with the spring game, then in August as practices start, we try to get our hands on the media guide, read it cover to cover (memorize it if you are Shoes haha), and spend a couple nights a week talking with friends on the phone or via email about which player is going to do what or who to look out for.

Typically I would get together with either midas or shoes, or even better, both, for at least 3 or 4 games a year. You have the mandatory items that go along with football, those including grilling burgers, drinking some brews, homemade desserts of the Bonnie variety, a little tossing the pigskin around on our own, and a lot of laughter and good times. I missed that last year, I missed that a lot.

Even though Husker football has been a little down (notice: I will NOT ever EVER call the Big Red “Husker Nation” because that is a lame ass term stolen from the Sooners, among other teams, and whoever did it should be shot!!), I still long for the crisp cool autumn mornings, GameDay on ESPN sitting around the television, a video game playing on a separate TV, that first game coming on TV, shoe’s analysis of every game, good ole’ Nate catching 20 minute cat naps every hour, the warm afternoon with the changing colors of fall, the dust in the air from the millions of acres of crops being harvested, and the distinct smell of harvested corn and beans that lingers as the warmth of the day gently slides away into the cool dusk air (one of the more unique and distinct smells in the world if you ask me), and then the evening games and late night west coast games, until finally, all that’s left are 2 or 3 people awake to discuss the highlights of the day while polishing off the last of the beer and desserts.

I could go on and on, there are so many memories. Downtown Lincoln January 2006 to watch Nebraska thrash Florida, a state park in Ponka listening to Nebraska lose their first regular season game in more than 3 years, to Arizona, me and the other fella that were there were so down that even having someone mooning us couldn’t make us feel better (hah, bet someone thought I forgot about that!!), waiting till 3 in the morning to find out Nebraska won a share of the title in 1997. Sure, being In Iraq, I feel sometimes as though I’ve been robbed of many memories that could have been, but to dwell on that would take away from the unique experience that I am actually having here.

Already though I’m thinking about this fall, and USC, and the Longhorns, and even little ole’ Louisiana Tech (we better not overlook them!!). It doesn’t matter that I’m here, hell it won’t matter when I’m in California, it doesn’t matter if Nebraska goes 0-11, I’m still always, first and foremost, a Husker fan. Well, hmm, we’d better not go 0-11, that would suck shit, but it wouldn’t affect my being just as strong a supporter of my team.

I would guess there are probably a pretty good percentage of people here who feel the same way as I do.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You got the fire, baby, I got the heat, can you handle it?
I got the time, baby, you got the need, oh surrender it
Oh, it's a passion crime with a danger sign, oh, can you handle it?

Love And Affection – Def Leppard

Question And Answer Session With fraNk

So, I know people always have a lot of questions for me but they are afraid to ask. So I went to the internet and entered search string "Why did fraNk" to find some out what people are wondering about me. I picked 25 questions to answer.

Why did Frank use the word 'atypical' in casual conversation?

Because I am inherently smarter than you, my plethora of colorchromatic verbal interaction transcends your feeble intelligence level.

Why did Frank take the steam ship from San Fransisco to Vancouver?

Well, I was getting sick and tired of Rice A Roni and flaming homo liberals, and I’ve always wanted to go see some penguins and igloos in Canada, what better place to do that than Vancouver? And I’ve always loved steam, it really opens the pores.

Why did Frank call her every 15-20 minutes?

Because nothing says love like constant harassment followed by a restrainer order.

Why did Frank get in trouble at school?

Usually because the teachers wouldn’t shut up while I was trying to talk to someone. I don’t think sometimes that they realized just how important my conversations were.

Why did Frank have his original house painted yellow?

I have a secret lemon fetish. SHHHH, don’t tell anyone.

Why did Frank alter his birth date on his driver's license?

So I could date older women, why else?

Why did Frank get angry?

Because you asked me a stupid question. You better hope I don’t find you!!

Why did Frank hang out at La Guardia Airport rather than Kennedy Airport?

I won’t hang out at an airport with the same last name as a drunken fat idiot senator from Massachusetts.

Why did Frank act in the manner he did and not choose other more rational courses of action?

Rationality is boring. Irrational behavior is more exciting for everyone involved. Who wants to be predictable, certainly not me!

Why did Frank return to the scene of the crime?

Oh to relive the joy of breaking the law, why else?

Why did Frank just power barge me out the way just now?

Because you chose to get in my way. Next time don’t just stand there looking stupid.

Why did Frank tell this story if it was almost all untrue?

Because you were dumb enough to believe it.

Why did Frank kill himself?

It was all part of a conspiracy, a plot to make you think I was dead, collect the life insurance, and live happily ever after in the Bahamas drinking margaritas and surfing the internet while wearing khaki shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and flip flops.

Why did Frank have to come back into our lives and upset Steve?

You know you missed me, so I came back. Wait, which one of you is Steve?

Why did Frank get Martian fever?

I didn’t think you needed to use protection when you are with a Martian, how was I to know??

Why did Frank behave like that?

You’ll have to be more specific. Which particular behavior trait are you wondering about? Was it when I punched you in the face? Banged on your front door at 2 in the morning? Slept with your daughter? All of the above?

Why did Frank become a deaf-mute?

It was part of my Helen Keller fetish, not one of my prouder moments.

Why did Frank buy welders glasses?

Hell, I thought they were just cool sunglasses, I didn’t know they were welder’s glasses until I wore them out while driving and found myself driving off the road in a corn field.

Why did Frank decide not to include Packard Goose on any of the 3 '88 CD's or on the YCDTOSA series?

Okay, is this an Japanimation question? You say Packard Goose and I’m thinking of a computer with feathers? I’m sure there was a good reason why I did whatever it was that you are saying I did, even if I don’t remember what it was that I did that you don’t agree with.

Why did Frank discover the alkaline battery?

I didn’t even know I did. Well, looks like I better call my lawyer. There are some royalties that I need to be suing for it would appear.

Why did Frank and his wife decide to learn to use email?

My wife and I knew how to use email before we ever even knew one another. We were part of the cave man age of internet use, mmkay?

Why did Frank have to make such a big deal about it?

What did I make a big deal about this time? I don’t ever make a big deal about anything. I mean honestly, when is the last time that I ever made a big deal out of something that didn’t really mean anything? Okay, I better shut up now.

Why did Frank decide to memorize the Encyclopedia?

You only think I memorized the Encyclopedia, but in fact, I’m just THAT smart. In fact, if you look at the inside cover of the Encyclopedia, you’ll see that I actually wrote it.

Why did Frank have a Plymouth Fury?

Oh, you even have to ask this question??? The Plymouth Fury was a sleeper of a car, commonly used as a police car, also in many movies (and in the Hill Street Blues television show) this car had many configurations. If I did own one, I would have a 440 in there, 365 horsepower, oh yes!!

Why did Frank steal John's Honda?

John should never have purchased that stupid Honda to begin with. I stole it to save him the indignity of driving such a pile of crap. If he wants it back, it’s at the bottom of the lake at the Weeping Water rock quarry, good luck!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I've been lookin' for a trace
Lookin' for a heart,
Lookin' for a lover in a world
That's much too dark

You're Crazy - Guns N' Roses

Decisions, Decisions

Well, we have to pick from several different combat patches to wear on our uniform to designate who we were tasked under while in Iraq. We did a lot of work with some pretty prestigious divisions over here.

The 19th Airborne Corps (Airborne Dragons)
The 4th Infantry Division
The 101st Airborne Division
The 82nd Airborne Division
The 485th Support Battalion (Germany)

Now, the 19th was in charge of us for the first month we were here, overall in charge of the Army portion of Ali Air Base, which is Camp Adder. After they left, the 16th CSB took over, and the 485th was in charge of us. But they were tasked under the other three in support of the 4th, the 101, and the 82nd, at different times depending upon our mission.

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t mind any of those three. Everyone in the unit is voting on which one they want to wear, but for someone like me, who will be in a different unit, I can pick any of the patches I want to wear. The vote has overwhelmingly been for the 101st Airborne, but to be honest, I would rather have the 82nd Airborne patch. Doesn’t much matter though, I’ll be allowed to wear whichever one I want, although I will pick just one, unlike some asses I’ve seen over here who have several different patches on different uniforms.

I also got two packages in the mail from my brother in law. The cookies were awesome, but please, no more haha. I have to try and get myself into tip top condition, so even though I ate some (due to my lack of self control), I ended up giving the rest away, everyone loved them. Everything else was awesome too, koolaid is always great to have. I really appreciated it.

More Armor? ALRIGHT!! THANK YOU SO LITTLE!

Upon being mobilized last fall, we were given an IBA (Individual Ballistic Armor) and we pretty much universally hated it in the unit. It was heavy and seemed so incredibly restrictive but it was mandatory to wear it over in Iraq so we had to get used to it.

Then they gave us these plates that had to be inserted in the front and back, and throat protectors, and a back of the neck guard, along with a crotch protector. Now it was even heavier and sucked even more.

Upon arriving in Iraq, after wearing the damn thing for awhile, you got used to it, it didn’t seem so heavy. Of course then they gave us these ‘wings’ that wrap around your shoulders, and made it hard as hell to move your arms. IBA = Heavy.

Then they gave us flank protectors that you have to put underneath your arms, they hang up over your shoulders with a strap and you put them on before you put on the rest of the armor. IBA = Heavier.

Now we have plates that go with the flank protectors, and the damn thing weighs even more!!! IBA = HEAVIEST!!

Of course we have a moron for a battalion commander, she gets so excited about all the new armor. She also has everyone wearing eye protection, inside the truck, and the elbow and knee pads on every convoy, and making sure that the gas mask is there (even though there hasn’t been one chemical attack during this entire f’ing conflict). I am guessing next that there will be a neck brace device like they use in nascar, maybe a face shield right? How about a butt plate? There actually is word of a plate to put in the crotch protector which would fucking suck, because that stupid thing already gets in the way all the damn time.

Of course their reasoning is that they have all this ‘proof’ of people who have been killed because a bullet ‘slipped into the side’ of a soldier because they didn’t have protective armor and plates on the sides of the IBA. But then, they have no data on how many soldiers were killed because they were COMPLETELY fucking immobilized and unable to run due to carrying 60 freaking lbs of armor on their body and unable to turn their head or move their arms more than 30 degrees vertically and none to the rear!!! BLAH, I get mad just talking about it. God help us if there is ever a fire fight that requires us to dismount, because it will take 10 fucking minutes to even squeeze out of the door.

More from the stupidity police: word has been handed down that anyone caught flying a confederate flag even in their rooms is going to be reported up the chain of command for violating EO regulations. This after some black soldiers complained after seeing a flag inside of another soldiers room. Get fucking bent, that’s what I have to say about that, if you have a problem with the confederate flag, so freaking what. It’s not a symbol of hatred, it was a symbol of individuality and freedom for those in the south for many years before the civil war and it continues to mean the same thing now. I would be the first to call out someone for racist behavior but that is not being racist at all. Myself, I wouldn’t fly one, but then I’m not from the south either, so it wouldn’t really pertain to me. I get so freaking sick and tired of people being over sensitive to things that no one has any right to control. Political correctiveness run completely awry.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Which one of us is right
If we always fight?
Why can't we just let love decide?
Am I the weaker man
Because I understand
That love must be the master plan?

Diamonds And Pearls – Prince

Random thoughts

Congratulations to my baby on hitting expert on the rifle range!

Pepsi still tastes like Coke, but for the last month I’m here I will drink NO soda and I will try to keep myself to drinking just water or very watered down fruity drinks (weakened Koolaid) at the chow hall. September is set to be my ‘get healthy and get ready to go home’ month.

I should be running more, but I haven’t been. The last run I did was the 4th of July 4 mile run here on post, out of 255 people, I finished 22nd. But another guy in my unit finished 15th. ARG! I will work out more but…

The problem with my chest is still there and it makes it tough to really run hard, because it’s hard to breathe. I still haven’t gotten word about my blood tests I had done here, I am not expecting much.

Working at night is getting so boring, but that’s what you’d expect, 12 hours from 2100 at night till 0900 in the morning, we don’t get a whole lot of visitors, at times it’s like being glorified janitorial workers, but oh well, it’s important that the operations center is up and running 24 hours a day.

When you are bored, time can go by pretty slow. Thankfully we got the tv up running in the ops center with a partial listing of channels. But we have both movie channels, the sports channel, and a news channel, so that’s good. There is one more channel but I haven’t watched it enough to know what the hell it is. Last night it had Sesame Street on. Not my thing, honestly, it’s not.

I cleaned my room the other day. Top to bottom, everywhere. In the military they have this stuff called pine oil, and it’s not really the most pleasant smell like Pine Sol, but it’s one of those smells that I can only refer to as a ‘military smell’, because much like the CLP lubricant for the weapons, or the kiwi boot polish for the black boots (yah, I’m an old school military man, I remember the black leather boots, it was only 2 years ago but damn there has already been a lot of changeover, new people coming in). I shouldn’t really say that the smell is BAD, because the room smells all hygienic and clean now, but I would prefer pine sol or even murphy’s oil soap.

All my albums in my mp3 collection are labeled now. Took forever to find some of the albums that the songs came from, and the years that they were recorded, especially on some of the compilation cds I have. There were times I scoured 6 to 8 different web sites trying to find out when my Rock On UK Sony Promotional cd was recorded, or to find out that The Bog was released only as a single in 1990 (there were some songs that took forever to find on those 2 cds, quite the mix of music). I did discover a few things too, some irritating. I wonder why the hell Madonna did not put the “I Remember” song from the movie “With Honors” on her second greatest hits cd, I’ve always liked that song and I never realized it wasn’t on there. Bah, oh well.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Technology, the battle's unfair
You pull the hammer without a care
Squeeze the trigger that makes you Man
Pseudo-safari, the hunt is canned...

Countdown To Extinction – Megadeth

Not So Smallville

I’ve been watching season one of Smallville, the show on WB about a young Clark Kent (Superman) as he grows up. After watching about the first 7 or 8 episodes last night, there are some interesting things about the show.

It appears that some high school aged kid dies in just about every episode, under strange circumstances. Of course these strange circumstances always seem to be caused by some strange green smoke/rock/liquid/material, and oh my, it’s Kryptonite.

From a Kryptonite necklace to Kryptonite gasses in a sauna, drinking water from a lake with Kryptonite in it, to eating vegetables grown in a patch with Kryptonite in the ground around them, good old Kryptonite is always there to dick things up for the wonderful residents of Smallville. It’s interesting that they choose a population of 45,000 for Smallville, considering that with that many people, it would be like the 4th largest city in Nebraska, hardly small by Midwestern standards, seeing how Kansas is where the show is set at.

Lana’s high school football jock boyfriend Whitney wrecks more pickups than a NASCAR truck series driver. In fact, everyone wrecks their vehicles, a lot. Lana wrecks her Dodge pickup, Lex wrecks his Porche, Clarks parents drove their pickup into a crater. Smallville is riddled with such poor drivers, it’s frightening.

The actor playing Lex Luthor is probably the best actor in the show. He plays the tormented soul so well, torn between his self centered lust for power, and the decent human being who has befriended Clark and tries to help the Kent family whenever he can. But even when he helps there is always a part of Lex that is seeing what he can get for himself out of the deal, as he does with anyone he is trying to ‘help’.

But, anyways, they do a decent job writing the show, there are plenty of characters to keep you entertained, and if the storyline concerning one character is too far fetched or boring in one show, there is always something going on with another character or two to keep your attention. It’s not too bad of a show.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say pride will tear us both apart
Well now pride's gone out the window cross the rooftops runaway
Left me in the vaccuum of my heart
What is happening to me crazy some will say where is my friend when I need you most
(gone away)

Ordinary World – Duran Duran

Pedal To The Metal

Okay, I’ve been playing Need For Speed Underground II a lot again lately. When I was back home, midas and I played the hell out of NFSU, the first version, and I really enjoyed it. I went out and bought the second about 2 days before my deployment started, packed it up with the playstation in a box to be shipped over to Iraq.

One problem, I didn’t send the instructions with the game, but no problem, I just played the crap out of the game till I figured out what everything did. I think once I got settled here at Camp Adder, even though I was up at like 5 every morning and done at 5 in the afternoon, I probably played that game for about 5 hours a day. I took an old Toyota Corolla, probably 1988 or so, and built the car up continuously, spent about 100,000 game dollars on it, till the car was like 50 percent carbon fiber and 50 percent motor haha. 0-60 in like 2 seconds, 220 mph top speed, that sort of thing, lots of fun.

So since I’ve been working nights we set the game up out at the ops center and we’ve been playing it quite a bit while we monitor all the commo stuff. I’m trying to solve the game one last time and actually get all of the different unique parts and unlock everything in the game. I still haven’t gotten the freaking scissor style doors yet, among other things. The dumb game though will tell you “CONGRATULATIONS, you have solved the game” when it says like “91% COMPLETED” which makes no sense. Oh well. This game is by far the most time I have spent playing any Playstation game here in Iraq. I know, someone is missing her PSII, sorry baby hehe, you’ll have it back soon.

I’ll have to spend a few hours kicking midas’ ass in it though *ponders* HAH!!


Current Lyrical Ramblings

Now I'm alone, the telephone
Don't tell me you don't need me
I ask you why, you tell me lies
And say the truth would hurt me.

Someday – Glass Tiger

I have a few posts that I collected up that never got posted, some from earlier last month, a couple I was working on at the end of July before we went thru some difficult times here. I'm going to clean up the closet so to speak and post them all today.

Flying Into The Turnbuckle

So I’m flipping thru the channels today and I come across professional wrestling. And of course, for some oddball reason, I end up leaving it on. And I don’t really know why. Why do I still watch this stuff??? I know it’s fake, I know that it’s basically like watching a male version of a soap opera, yet I still find myself drawn to it.

So much involved with pro wrestling is just ridiculous. Rick Flair and Hulk Hogan are both old enough to be living in a retirement community somewhere in Florida. Fake blood is used liberally, along with a lot of yelling and cussing and screaming. Maybe it reminds me my childhood? Haha, who knows?

Oh, there was a time when I actually believed what I was watching. I can remember in the afternoon on Sundays, after we get home from church, sitting down with Dad and watching some guy named Bruno wrestling, and how it wasn’t nearly so filled with outbursts and crazy behavior outside the ring, it still had plenty of fun inside the squared circle.

Then they moved it to Saturday nights, so we’d switch channels back and forth from Saturday Night Live to Pro Wrestling, with Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Junkyard Dog, Randy Macho Man Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, Hacksaw Jim Dugan, oh the list goes on and on. Even then it still seemed real, even Hulk Hogan getting up, shaking, as Roddy Piper pounded on him the entire time, only to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Of course looking back at it, I know it was all scripted out, a well acted out event for drawing in as much attention as possible, but it was still exciting.

Then as I got older and got more into watching real sports, football, basketball, boxing, etc, I realized just how phony professional wrestling was and basically got away from watching it throughout my late high school and all my college years.

Nowadays I don’t look to watch it, it’s just funny how it’s on what, 5 or 6 times a week now? I sometimes wonder if pro wrestling helped spawn the ‘reality television’ explosion, considering that it’s promoted like reality, only grossly exaggerated with steroid enhanced muscular personalities acting out to the adoring fans that pack every arena they go to.

So, I indulge in the ridiculous farce that pro wrestling is, watching two men fighting in a ring with a ladder in the middle, only to have another wrestler come into the ring and beat up on both of them, but wait, a ‘surprise’ as one of the wrestlers gets an ‘unexpected’ upper hand and wins!! THE CROWD GOES WILD!! I just chuckle and wait for the next match, or I try out one of the movie channels over here, if there is something with a better script, well, I watch that instead.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate Me – Blue October

I'm really lonely today

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

The peace is dead in my soul
I have blamed the reasons for
My intentions poor
Yes I'm the one who
The only one who
Would carry on this far

Torn - Creed

The World Is Upside Down

In Iraq Monday, July 31, 2006, two Army National Guard soldiers were driving a military truck in a convoy from Forward Operating Base Delta to Tallil Air Base when their truck was struck by the IED near An Numaniyah.

When this occurred I was on duty in the operations center in charge of the night crew, which is comprised of just two soldiers over the graveyard shift. One of our basic duties is monitoring the messaging system that keeps constant contact with the trucks. At about 10 p.m. we received a message from the convoy commander that they had been hit by an IED (military acronym for ‘roadside bomb’) and needed a medivac. This was a shock, we have not had anyone injured much less killed here. I was on the phone with battalion seeing if they had the information and were contacting the nearest medivac helicopter evacuation center, and sent my ‘runner’ out to wake up the 1SG and commander.

Almost immediately a second message came thru stating “we have no radio contact, are you there, we need help!” This really made my blood run cold because now I knew how it had to be serious. I responded that battalion had the information, and that a ‘bird’ (chopper) was in the air. Another message came thru “how long, we have 2 soldiers, critical condition” and I responded that the bird was in the air but I didn’t know how long it would be. At about this point in time most of the upper NCO leadership and officers in the unit were arriving and they took over while I ran some paperwork about the convoy down to battalion.

At this point I figured that it wasn’t as bad as it looked, this particular convoy commander can get pretty worked up sometimes, so I prayed that perhaps he just thought it was worse than it really was. At battalion things were just crazy, I wasn’t allowed inside of the ‘war room’ where I normally go to drop off items because it was just nuts, our commander and 1st SGT were there though and everyone was around the big television with the maps and the radio was chattering like mad.

I drove back as quickly as I could to our operations center and when I walked in it was completely silent. One of the PLT SGT’s was outside over along the edge of the trailer leaned over, visibly shaken. I knew something was really wrong. I went inside and asked what was up and my PLT SGT turned and told me “___ died”. I asked twice “He died???” because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Most of the upper NCO leadership was in that room and some go back more than 15 years, but this was without a doubt the worst single incident any of us ever had to deal with in the military.

Even though it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach as hard as they could, my thoughts turned to the other soldier. They showed me the last message that came in, and it said that yes the one soldier was KIA and that the second soldier had lost possibly both his legs, and was in critical condition. At this point you hope for the best with the surviving soldier and try to focus your energy on doing what you can on his behalf. It was just so overwhelming to try and think about losing one of our own, we really didn’t want to lose 2.

The convoy was told to stay the night at the nearest forward operating base to where they were attacked and so here at Tallil we had to go out and wake everyone up, and all we were allowed to tell them is that there was a formation out at the operations center “IMMEDIATELY”. Once everyone was rounded the had a formation and the 1SG broke the news to the troops. I was monitoring the comm’s so I didn’t see what happened, I already knew what was going on therefore I sent everyone out so they could be with the troops, and the battalion chaplain and others were on hand to counsel those who needed it.

Everyone was really hurting at this point. Word came thru finally later that night that the wounded soldier had been stabalized and would lose the bottom portion of one leg, but that the other leg had been saved. Whoever applied the tourniquettes from our combat lifesaver teams had saved his life. This was the first good news we had. Slowly the soldiers filtered back to the living area and after a couple of hours it was just my runner and I again, alone, and really really sad. By about 6 a.m. I had the worst headache I’ve had since arriving in country, and we were both just utterly exhausted. My E-4 runner was stressed, we did a lot of talking about life and people we knew who had died, but nothing could seem to take away that feeling of loss. Thankfully our relief came out about 30 minutes early and we got out of there.

No one really slept much the night before and the next day the PLT SGT’s all had radios with them in case they let the convoy leave the base they were at. But they weren’t allowed to leave till nearly 7 that night (which, to the credit of the base they were at, was the very first allowable time for them to leave, they got our guys out as quick as they could safely do so). I got about 2 hours of sleep that day, I was just so concerned about our guys and also about the soldier’s families back home, who were likely getting the bad news at any time that day.

We all headed back out to the motor pool at about 9 p.m. to wait for the convoy to arrive.
As the trucks rolled in everyone flooded out to comfort the guys who were on that mission, it was really emotional. Our radio/comm’s technician, an E-4, said he wanted some time to himself so he took over in the operations center, which was wonderful of him to do because it allowed me to go out and spend some time with the guys.
The SSG who was out as the convoy commander was overcome with emotion, and many of the other SSG’s surrounded him and just enveloped him with support, hugs, and positive comments. It was not his fault at all, there was nothing he could have done to prevent this, if anything his quick actions may have saved the other soldier’s life, but nothing can take away the pain of losing a soldier under your care, I know this as well as any military leader knows it.

The soldiers were told they could leave their gear on the trucks, us guys on the night crew would watch out for them and keep track of everything, all that was unloaded was crew served weapons and any personal items they needed to take back to the rooms. After the chaplain, the battalion SGT MJR and the battalion commander talked to us, we all hung around for several hours quietly consoling one another. At about 1 in the morning everyone had headed off, leaving me and my E-5 alternate runner out there to finish off the night shift.

I’m reeling right now from this. We were always aware of the possibility of this happening over here. I don’t know if it was because we went for 10 months without this happening, but now that it has I realize I was totally unprepared for the situation. I don’t know if it would have made a difference if it had happened earlier but I do know that running so long without an incident probably made us feel somewhat invulnerable.

We have gone from “Alright!! 2 months left, let’s have fun and get out of this place” to “Please Lord just watch over us and let us get out of here without anything else happening”, and it happened so quick. I don’t claim to know this soldier as well as some other people do, but everyone in the unit has been rocked because we have all gotten so close, like a family here.

I’m still having some difficulty sleeping but I think the healing has begun. Our unit has been pulled from missions right now till after the CID investigation and the memorial service, so at night a lot of the guys hang out outside of their trailers and talk quietly, usually about other stuff but sometimes drifting back to Josh and Ben and stories about them. It’s helping everyone get thru. My heart goes out to their families, we all feel so helpless being unable to console them in any way in person.

I want so badly to believe in what we are doing, right now everything has been rocked though, and I guess the next couple of months are really going to be a lot harder than we had anticipated. But we’ll make it thru, what else can we do? We still have to drive on with our mission, I still may be back out on the road in a couple of weeks myself as they do some rotating out at the operations center, I don’t know. I am just going to do what I’m told, pray for my own safety and that of my soldiers, and look forward to getting back to my family and my friends.

I miss you guys, and I love you. I just want you all to know that.

There are times that God has reasons that reason itself cannot understand.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!!!




One year ago today I became the luckiest man on the planet. I married the most amazing woman I have ever met. I remember 02July05 as being a hectic day. Up around 0500 because I couldn’t sleep. Getting the clubhouse set up for our wedding, making a lot of last minute preparations, picking things up, and finally, picking up belly from that expensive flight home, both of our families together, waiting for that special moment when two lives were joined as one.

Although this year has not been ideal, we have made the best of the situation. 11 of 365 days spent together, 11 amazing days. But only a prelude of what’s to come. I have a few more months in the Sand Box before we get to be together once again. There are so many things I want to do in my life, so much I want to experience, but how special can these moments be without someone to spend those times with?

I have not always been the easiest person to live with, this much I know. There was so much I had to learn, situations I didn’t know how to deal with, friends who deserved much better treatment along the way. Despite all of this, one person was always there to help me stay centered, to pick up the pieces when I let things fall apart. I’m so thankful she never gave up on me, that she chose to share her life, her dreams with me.

It’s likely we would have been planning our full scale wedding right about now, a more formal and traditional setting than our quick ceremony one year ago today, but you know, I wouldn’t change a thing. For all these experiences help to make us who we are as a couple, our times apart help us to understand just how much we love and need one another. I know one thing for sure, there will storms from time to time, but the key is to never give up, to weather the rough times, because they always do pass. I will never give up on us, I know we are meant to be. I love you baby.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin' all my love
Along the wire

Faithfully – Journey

”CALLING ALL CARS CALLING ALL CARS!!!”

Where the hell has Lord of the Poo stryfe been lately??? I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM AROUND IN SOME TIME!

I worry that the stickyfat has consumed him, where is our superhero MRBRICK when we need him? More vowels will save our poopgod!!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Come
And talk of all the things we did today
Here
And laugh about our funny little ways
While we have a few minutes to breathe
Then I know that it's time you must leave

Darling Be Home Soon - Loving Spoonful

Music To Dance By When Sand Is Infiltrating Your Crack

Back in the middle of August of 2005, our unit spent about a week back in Wayne at the armory getting equipment loaded, personnel issues settled, etc, before our trip to the mobilization site at Ft. Riley, Kansas. If you lived within 30 miles of Wayne, you were allowed to go home and be with your family. The rest of us, well, they put us up in a motel.

So what does this have to do with my journal, nearly a year later? Well, for that 4 or 5 days I was in that motel, I holed myself up every night using Audiograbber to rip all 220 or so of my CD’s from wave file into mp3 files. Pop in one cd, as it would rip into mp3’s I would type out the names of the songs onto the files inside the folder, over and over AND OVER AND yah, well, you get the picture.

I was getting so pissed off though, because about 4 or 5 cd’s in I realized that the fucking files were not staying in track order, they would go to alphabetical or some other goofed up order, much to my irritation. So I ended up adding 01 and 02 etc to every file just to keep them in order.

So it took me pretty much ALL of my free time every night to get that done, while everyone else would be out drinking and partying, because I really wanted to have my music here in the Sand Box. FINALLY I was done, and then the first time I opened up Windows Media Player to listen to a cd, WMP connected to the internet and started renaming my tracks on the cd, in this case some Japanese classical composer. Of course, a few **(@*#ING **@#** &G spewed forth, because this was a shitload of work I did to put that many cd’s together and WMP was dicking up my work and I didn’t know why.

Thankfully belly told me about a beautiful little program called Winamp, which I immediately downloaded and it worked fabulously, except… none of the names of the songs would come up, they would list as just no name tracks. Again, frustration, and despite searching all over to find out how I could name them correctly I was unable to remedy the situation.

Yes, well, turns out I completely wasted my time naming all of these files just in the folder, I discovered a couple days ago that I should have been highlighting the songs in the folder, going to Properties, then Summary, and I could have added in a whole bunch of information, such as artist, song name, year, track number, even lyrics, genre, and other information. Even Windows Media Player has the ability to do that, although it’s not as in depth as adding in the information in the file properties while in the folder. Oh, and the kicker? Yah, it would have named each file individually in the folder, I wouldn’t have had to do it myself OR add in that stupid “01 02 03” in front of the files, because the track order can be added in too!!!

How did I miss this, you might ask? I’m certain that most of you are shaking your head thinking I’m a complete idiot for not knowing this, but when you do open Properties and go to Summary for a file, if you click right next to the Artist or Album Title, etc, it won’t open up to let you change the text, oh but if you move the cursor over just a little bit to the right, you can. THAT LITTLE F’ING OVERSIGHT IS WHY I HAD ALL THIS TROUBLE!! But then, I look on the bright side, I would likely not be using Winamp, which I really prefer over Windows Media Player. Winamp isn’t all tied into every Windows application like WMP seems to be. One problem, every time pop up blocker beeps or some other application makes a beep or ding, it screws up the sound on Winamp, and I haven’t found out how to keep that from happening, just short of shutting off sound altogether on my other applications, which would be ridiculous.

So now that I know how to correctly name my mp3 files so that they are compatible with all of the different musical applications out there, I will be redoing a few thousand file names. And of course, I’m very anal about my music, so I’m adding in as much information as I can. This includes my time off yesterday, spent perusing the net looking for what year every one of my albums was released in. Particularly troublesome: classical composers. I have about half a dozen cd’s of Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, etc, and unfortunately they are typically obscure titles that no one seems to have information about on the internet.

Now if I was at home, I would just look on the cd itself to see when it was released, but here I do not have that luxury. I’m thinking instead, I’ll just go back and put in the year the composer died. That would be better anyway, wouldn’t you agree?

Something I really don’t have a lot of in my music collection are obscure artists. Yah, I have a few, like Bass 305, an album consisting pretty much entirely of earth shattering low frequency tones to induce maximum performance from one’s subwoofers. Then there is my Days Of Thunder Soundtrack. Got that for Christmas one year from one of my sisters. Why the hell did I hold onto that??? Then there are 4 or 5 ‘freebie’ cd’s that I got when I bought different cd players over the years. Kept those too. Yah, that’s me, I’m anal about my music, I tend to keep it forever.

Something I have a LOT of is big hair guitar rock, and guitar rock in general. If it was in the 80’s and it had big hair, leather pants, screaming high vocals, and power ballads, there’s probably a 90% chance that I’ve got it. Is this sad??? Hell no it isn’t, if you can’t appreciate the bridge in Def Leppard’s ‘Armageddon It’ or you aren’t impressed by Slash’s 2 guitar solos in Guns N’ Roses ‘Estranged’, then you really don’t know what you are missing out on. If Quiet Riot’s “Cum On Feel The Noize” is just NOISE to you, or if “Epic” by Faith No More has you saying “WHAT IS IT?” for real, you really don’t understand or appreciate the music of that era, and well, you are dumb, yah I said it, DUMB!

There are NO concerts today that even come close to what the guitar bands of the late 80’s and early 90’s did, and I mean that, no one comes close. Loud, crazy, hot women everywhere, it was just one gigantic party where 50,000 people all had one thing on their mind, seeing one of their favorite bands up on stage tearing it up. Well, two things, I guess thoughts of the opposite sex were evident. The outfits, the hair, the pyrotechnics, the crazy behavior, today’s bands are preschool by comparison. Would I ever blame grunge alternative rock for the demise of the ‘Big Hair’ era? Nah, not really. It’s the progression of music.

Even alternative and grunge ended up fading away, more due to the blending of so many musical types that there was no clear alternative music anymore than any other reason. But I will always miss the rhythmic guitar of bands like Skid Row, Firehouse, and Van Halen. And while some of them are still making music, it’s not nearly as good or ‘fresh’ as it was back then. I consider myself lucky to have grown up in that era, music nowadays mostly f’ing stinks. At least now I can name my White Lion tracks correctly for all to enjoy!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Full of sorrow, your eyes are too wide and too new
Though I know these feelings I get when you're near
Even I...I can't give you love without fear
You're too young, I don't know what's keeping me here

Wait For You - Bonham

The Anti Patriotic

It’s interesting how politicians have such short memories. Listening to the audacity of certain lawmakers on capital hill in Washington this past month has me puzzled. It is laughable to me that Democrats who voted for military action in Iraq are now pointing fingers at other people, trying to lay blame and using terms like ‘huge mistake’ and ‘unjust war’ to describe something they approved to begin with. You voted for it, based on the same information the White House had. Why would you say that shit now, it’s NOT true, and it only adds to the resolve of the foreign insurgents in Iraq and feeds the anti war movement stateside.

I guess I don’t really follow where this has suddenly become an ‘unjust war’, I mean, honestly, if this was an ‘unjust war’, if this were a ‘huge mistake’, then these lawmakers, thru their current views, want to give the country back to Saddam Hussein, apologize, and ‘cut and run’. “Oh, President Hussein, we are SO sorry that we attacked you, we respect the excellent job you’ve done here leading your country, here’s the key to the presidential palace, no hard feelings?” Yah, respond to that one, Murtha. This has been anything BUT a huge mistake. I really have to wonder about the media’s agenda in all of this also, with polls that talk about how “78% of Iraqi people do not like having the occupational forces here.” Well no shit???

In Iraq the media is doing the exact same thing they do in the United States, they ask questions on surveys that are aimed at getting a specific response to match what the network wants to hear, versus getting any real opinion. Of course they would rather we weren’t here. But where are the more common sense questions??? How about “Do you wish to have Saddam back in power again?” or “Do you feel you have a greater chance for a better future under the new government than you did under Saddam?” THOSE are the kinds of questions that answer that show results or lack thereof concerning this conflict.

I find the whole ‘cut and run’ idea to be cowardly and completely politically motivated. I really believe that democrats are trying to reignite the anti war rage of the 60’s, that they want to compare this to Vietnam in some hopeless attempt to stir up emotions in preparation for this year’s elections and as a prelude for the 2008 presidential elections. Well sorry, but this is NOT Vietnam, for a variety of reasons, from organization skills, backing, and content of oppositional forces, to the terrain being fought in, to the death tolls suffered by American forces. I find it to be disgusting and a slap in the face of those who lost their lives in Vietnam AND those who have given there lives here to make that comparison in a way as to suggest monumental failures, especially when we have an excellent opportunity here to succeed in Iraq.

“What?? Excellent opportunity to succeed? HOW can you say that?” Because I’m freaking here, that’s why. I see day in and day out the work being done here, I see the good things that are virtually ignored by the media, I talk to the Iraqi people about how they feel, that’s how. I have to wonder sometimes, if the media and political atmosphere had been this way during World War II, would we have had ANY heroes, would President Rooservelt be viewed as this horrible bully who attacked Germany unprovoked. I wish sometimes people would study history, and realize the importance of not only having a strong military, but in using it from time to time to fight tyranny. The way

For this to work in Iraq, you are probably talking about another year or so of current troop levels, then a gradual reduction over a period of up to 10 years, yes, that’s right, 10 years, to help maintain stability. This is normal. There are no quick fixes. We live in a society that wants everything quicker. Faster food, better service, speedier delivery… well some things just don’t work that way. The Iraqi conflict is a perfect example of that. Some of the problems here have existed for literally thousands of years. It’s going to take time. Even if Joe Public can’t understand that, politicians should be able to.

Sometimes politicians are in so deep that it just boggles the mind that it’s difficult to believe they can’t smell what they are shoveling. This is certainly a perfect example of that. As usual, Democrats have no problem finding fault with everything the White House and Congress are doing, without a valid course of action to repair what they see as problems.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

Criminal – Fiona Apple

Why Does The A.P. Publish 'News' By Racist Reporters Like Erin Texeira?

I wonder just how blind and racist people have to be to actually support a stereotypical and obviously egocentric 'reporter' like Erin Texeira.

I use the term 'reporter' loosely, because she is unfortunately NOT a journalist, but rather an opinionative writer who subjects her own theories and racist viewpoints into her literature. Time and time again her articles seem to find some way to lay blame for the ills of 'insert minority name here' on whites. In so many of her articles there is this feeling that you are supposed to be shaking your head with pursed teeth thinking to yourself "that is terrible, those damn white people!!"

Well sorry, I do NOT subscribe to that racist platform of garbage. I am not white, I don't know anyone who is white. Let me explain. Just in the way that we should NOT celebrate the ills of blacks, nor should we point out and denigrate whites in the same manner. If people like Texeira insist upon continually shedding light on 'problems' purportedly brought about by white people, while using her own stereotypical viewpoints to try to force the issue, then I say everyone should drop 'white' and go with what they truly are.

As for me, I'm German, Bohunk, Lithuanian and French, and therefore I do not wish to be called WHITE by the likes of racists like Texeira. When you celebrate victories based on skin color, you also make it acceptable to denigrate race on the basis of skin color. It's really that simple.

What do I mean, you ask? Let me put it this way. Where is it ever acceptable to run around screaming white power, saying that white people need more of this or more of that, yet it's just fine for someone to continually talk about, even in a round about way, how whites are causing so much trouble for other minorities. So those of western European heritage are stuck, continually forced to bear witness to the supposed racism they perpetrate on others, all the while unable to celebrate anything based on their own skin color.

Let me clarify something here, I think celebrating/denegrating anything based on skin color is incredibly ignorant, in fact, in this day and age, it's just downright stupid. I tire of the endless attempts by some in our society to do so. Interestingly enough, in the process of promoting your own race based on skin color, your ignorance ends up by default casting a racist shadow upon everyone else. Why can't people like Texeira realize this?

Reflections On Fast Food

There are a lot of topics that come and go during discussions while working 12 hour night shifts at the company operations center in Iraq. Tonite me and Rod’ were discussing great places to get a quick delicious meal. Of course this did little more than to enlighten each other as to what the other person likes to eat, and of course ended up leaving us both quite irritably hungry for any one of the mentioned franchise eateries we discussed.

The following is a collection of my top 10 franchise restaurants. This doesn’t go by merely taste, it also takes into consideration how often I have eaten there, along with taste. They are in no particular order.

Burger King:

Favorite Meal: Whopper w/ cheese, large fries, Pepsi (or substitute the Whopper
with a Frisco Burger).
History: I have eaten Burger King for as long as I can remember.
Comments: I have always preferred BK to McDonalds for some reason, even
though their fries are typically shitty. Hey, but they have Pepsi!!

Taco Bell:

Favorite Meal: (2) bean burritos, a Chilito (chili cheese burrito), and a LARGE
Pepsi.
History: I started eating there in high school when my best friend Marc got me
hooked on the Chilito.
Comments: The only place you can go to at 3 in the morning and get stuffed with food left over afterwards, all for 3 dollars and change. What list would be
complete without Taco Bell? I have diversified my menu, I get the chicken
quesadilla, soft shell tacos (which admittedly suck, Taco John’s have them beat),
and the gordita now and again. Ah my stomach hurts just thinking about it.

Dairy Queen:

Favorite Meal: Ultimate Burger, large fries, Pepsi (or substitute in a chicken
basket for the burger and fries). Then of course the Blizzard. Oh man though,
what flavor of Blizzard to get??? Oreo? Butterfinger? Snickers? Reeses Peanut
Butter Cup? I had even gotten into the Heath Bar, oh the choices, what to do??
History: I can remember eating Dilly Bar’s after little league baseball when I was like 10 years old.
Comments: The Ultimate Burger could possible be the best franchise burger out
there, dripping with grease, loaded with burger, cheese, toasted bun, lettuce,
tomato, onions, etc. It’s pure glutinous bliss!!! And a Blizzard with it? WOW!

Taco John’s:

Favorite Meal: the (2) soft shell taco meal, large potato olays (spicy tater tots),
Pepsi, and of course the cinnamon churro for dessert.
History: They had a Taco John’s in Wayne where I went to school for about 2
years, there was something really filling about that meal.
Comments: I would switch off sometimes, chicken to beef, beef to chicken. I can
remember Gub’s getting the “6 Pack N’ A Pound” meal (six soft/hard shell tacos
and a pound of potato olays) and I used to wonder, how the hell is he going to eat
all of that?? Well, he’s did it, but then he’s not exactly skinny anymore.

Subway:

Favorite Meal: 12” Value Spicy Italian meal on white bread, with nacho cheese
Doritos, and wouldn’t you know it, a Pepsi (or substitute in Seafood and Crab or
Roasted Chicken Breast sub).
History: I must have eaten 250 Subway sandwiches a year in my first 2 years of
college, back around 93’/94’.
Comments: Back then the meal deal was about $3.50, probably because most
people were not into healthy eating. Look at what a trend setter I was!! There
were some days where I ate Subway twice a day even. I loved those sandwiches.
Now the freaking bread choices are just annoying, too much stuff, and of course
the price of the meals has more than doubled. That sucks, but I still eat there, just
not as much.

Old Chicago:

Favorite Meal: Full order of regular nachos, with a beer.
History: Got into going to this place with my old college roommate Broderick,
and his brother.
Comments: My first time there, we ordered the nachos and I also ordered a
a burger and fries, with the beer of course. I regretted that. I was so freaking
stuffed, it was miserable, yet strangely satisfying haha. They have the best nachos
on the planet, without a doubt.

Great American Steal Buffet:

Favorite Meal: Well, it’s a buffet.
History: To be honest, I think when I went to this place with midas was the first
time I ever ate there.
Comments: Oh the mediocre food, but that’s just is, there is so much of it!
It’s all just barely above average but damn you can just mow down plate after
plate of it. One steak or chicken breast per trip to the grill, dammit, just one!! It’s
good American eating, 3 kinds of potatos, corn, rolls, stuffing, etc. OH YAH, and SHRIMP, sweet delicious golden fried shrimp! And coincidentally, I will be
going here with midas when I get back home, along with Old Chicago, and quite
likely:

Valentino’s Buffet:

Favorite Meal: Again, a buffet.
History: We used to eat here when we would go to state in high school in cross
country and track.
Comments: This is the best buffet on the planet in my opinion. The pizza isn’t
the greatest, but they have manicotti, lasagna, several kinds of noodles and sauces,
not so Italian choices like fried shrimp, polish sausage, a taco bar, an amazing
salad bar, and a delicious dessert bar. Yes, I will likely be going back here when I
get back, consider this an open invitation to all my friends, hell I’ll even pay.
We’ll get the party room again!!

McDonalds:

Favorite Meal: Double quarter pounder with cheese, large fries, Dr. Pepper.
(substitute a 10 piece chicken nugget for the burger sometimes).
History: Just a couple of years ago, McDonalds would have never made my list,
But for some reason, I think the fries drew me in, and then that damned double
quarter pounder…
Comments: I really ate there a lot when belly was at boot camp, probably one of
the main reasons I had to diet AGAIN before I went to see her, after having dieted
successfully the first month she was gone.

Papa Johns:

Favorite Meal: Their specialty pizza with all the toppings, large of course.
(sometimes sausage or hamburger with onions, belly loves pepperoni).
History: Really didn’t go there till belly and I moved to Omaha together. I would guess that we ate more Papa Johns than any other place, certainly by far the most popular pizza we ate.
Comments: For years I loved Pizza Hut pizza, but then they changed the way
they made their pizza and I really did not care much for the chunks of meat and
vegetables the size of your fist. I actually think I like Papa John’s pizza better
than I ever liked Pizza Hut in the first place. The garlic dipping sauce and
jalapeno peppers sure help (but not with my behind the next day, yikes).

So there you have it, if I was in any town in the nation that had all of these places, I don’t think I would have a problem living there. Of course the Valentino’s Buffet isn’t exactly a nationwide franchise, some of the others aren’t either. But if you are on I-80 traveling past Omaha you should stop in at Valentino’s, it’s worth it. There were some other places that food wise could have made the list, China Buffet at 114th and Dodge comes to mind, but that’s not really a franchise at all, and just how many places call themselves “China Buffet” in the United States anyway, a bunch of them.

I LOVE STEAK, but we eat at a lot of different steak places, and I wasn’t going to try and pick one over another. The Nebraska Beef Company was darn good though. Oh, and another thing. I didn’t include any of the ‘clone’ restaurants because they really have no way of distinguishing themselves from the others. When I say clone I mean Applebees, Outback, Ruby Tuesdays, TGIF, and others, who are all the same in that they have the same type of overpriced atmosphere, and the menus are all somewhat identical. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy eating at these places, but any one of them can substitute for another.

I’m sure belly and midas will likely remind me of other places we used to eat at. I know I’m forgetting a few. I do love food, thank goodness I enjoy running too or I’d be a real fatbody!! PUT OUT THAT CIGARETTE YOU DISGUSTING FAT BODY!

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Someone said my words are out of balance
Nothing to say, you've got nothing to say
Dying words I bury everyday
Nothing to say, I've got nothing to say

Nothing To Say – Soundgarden

Patriotism And Respect

I have never been much of a fan of military ceremonies. They are long, drawn out affairs in which enlisted soldiers are stuck standing in big fancy formations to appease the inflated egos of officers and headquarters’ pukes. Today our Command Sergeant Major retired (mid tour, how the hell do you retire while in the middle of a combat tour to Iraq???) and of course they had an overblown lengthy ceremony to do the change from one Sergeant Major to the next.

It’s bad enough that we had to be out there at 0645 for a rehearsal, then at 0730 get in formation again to just stand there while the visitors arrived, so we could ‘look good’ for more worthless officers, and then finally have the ceremony at 0800. That stunk, but then, to top off this worthless waste of time, the girl who sung the national anthem butchered the hell out of it with voice inflections and even extra words at the end. I think you all know what I mean when I say this, basically it’s someone who feels the need to add ‘personal interpretation’ to the national anthem, which is freaking WRONG to do.

To me, the national anthem is a sacred symbol of our nation, our freedom, in the same way that the American flag is, the declaration of independence, and so on. I will protect anyone’s rights to burn the flag, to sing the national anthem as screwed up as they want to sing it, etc, but I’m going to have my input, because that is my right. However, this being said, I am not allowed to voice my opinions while in uniform, because we have a certain ethical code to adhere to, that precludes us from being very outspoken about most things.

That being said, I believe the same thing applies to someone in uniform who sings the national anthem. You have NO right, absolutely NO right, to be in uniform and to ruin that song by butchering it up with your own interpretations. To be honest I have a problem with ANYONE doing that, but while in uniform you should uphold a certain standard. You don’t ‘be bop’ while marching, you don’t wear your hat all cocked back and pants hanging off your ass, you don’t raise an American Flag with purple and orange stripes and asterisks instead of stars, and you do NOT sing the national anthem off key and out of rhythm. I was offended by what I saw today, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

Admiral Halsey Notified Me
He Had To Have A Berth Or He Couldn't Get To Sea
I Had Another Look And I Had A Cup Of Tea And Butter Pie

Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey – Beatles

GO USA SOCCER (Go Home That Is)

Ahh yes, another World Cup, another underperformance by the US team, another early exit for the USA team. Seems to be a recurring theme for our low interest soccer elite. I really don’t watch much of it. I tried, honestly I did, but come on now, kicking a ball around, back and forth, up and down that field, it makes baseball seem fast paced and exciting.

I did take some pointers away from watching both the American team and the other teams though. The United States team seemed lethargic, very little energy on either the offensive or defensive sides of the field. It seemed as though they weren’t willing to work very hard to create offensive opportunities or they just weren’t creative enough to? I don’t know. But the US scored ONE goal, just one goal, in three games, what exactly is that supposed to lead me to believe?

The US team was ranked 5th going into the World Cup and I have to wonder, did they rank them that high just to try and get Americans to watch the game? Sure seems like it, because I’m certain they rank right at the bottom in terms of performances at this particular World Cup. Sure they played inspired ball against the Italians, so what? They tied the game only because Italy scored on themselves, and even that didn’t end up helping them much at all. The Italians are in the next round, the Americans are headed home.

I keep hearing soccer commentators saying things like “if American’s showed more interest in the sport, the American team would perform better.” Give me a break. Americans are just like anyone else, we enjoy quality performances that match the abilities of whomever we are watching. In this instance, the American team supposedly had all this talent, and they did nothing. I think a better comment would be “If the American team would perform up to its abilities, more Americans would watch the sport.”

I’m sure the rest of the world is not surprised by how the US team did. As far as myself, I honestly thought they would do better, but I don’t care much about soccer so forgive me if I’m not all that disappointed.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I've seen your face somewhere before I swear
Could it be I've met you somewhere else
It's the way you turn and look at me
Your eyes are different but they're much the same

Somewhere - Default

The Boys Of Summer

Well, once again Oakland appears to be doing what they do every year. Starting off sloppy and horrible and looking like they can’t beat anyone (including losing 2 of 3 to the Kansas City Royals, the worst team in baseball), then coming on strong starting in mid summer. They’ve won 8 of 10 following an absolutely miserable May, typical for the A’s, who have had the best record starting in June for the last 6 years.

Am I going to get my hopes up? Well, let’s see, they currently also have the record for worst record EVER in series deciding games, 0–9, meaning, that in games that could win a series for them, they have lost 9 in a row. Needless to say they haven’t made it past the first round of the playoffs since like before I can even remember.

Oh well, at least they aren’t the Cubs (haha, sorry midas).

Current Lyrical Ramblings

I've seen your face somewhere before I swear
Could it be I've met you somewhere else
It's the way you turn and look at me
Your eyes are different but they're much the same

Somewhere – Default

Adding Insult To Injury

The death of Al-Zarqawi is a wonderful victory here in Iraq, as U.S. forces were finally able to get decent intelligence, moved on that intelligence, and finally eliminated a cowardly murderer that we had been searching for since the beginning of the war. Al-Zarqawi has waged a murderous war against innocent Iraqi’s using car bombs and suicide bombers. He is believed to have beheaded Nicholas Berg, a 26-year-old businessman from the United States. Certainly this will be welcome news to Berg’s family, correct? Uh, no, not according to Berg’s father.

"I think al-Zarqawi's death is a double tragedy," Michael Berg said after learning a U.S. airstrike had killed the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq. "His death will incite a new wave of revenge. George Bush and al-Zarqawi are two men who believe in revenge." Berg said the blame for most deaths in Iraq should be placed on President Bush, who he said is "more of a terrorist than Zarqawi."

What a jackass. What a complete and total jackass. Let me begin by saying that, I have had a certain feeling of sympathy for the Berg family based on what happened. But Nicholas Berg was told not to go to Iraq on several occasions by both American civilian authorities and by military authorities, therefore the blame for Nicholas Berg’s death in Iraq falls on no one other than Nicholas Berg himself.

In light of these completely ignorant and self serving comments by Michael Berg, I have lost not only any sympathy I felt for their family, but any respect I ever had for them in dealing with this tragedy. How interesting is it that Michael Berg makes these comments while running for Delaware’s only House seat as a member of the Green Party, and is using his son’s death as a way to garner attention for his political platform.

"Zarqawi felt my son's breath on his hand as held the knife against his throat. Zarqawi had to look in his eyes when he did it," Berg said. "George Bush sits there glassy-eyed in his office with pieces of paper and condemns people to death. That to me is a real terrorist."

What?? Okay, so now Michael Berg has some sick sort of respect for Zarqawi, because he ‘had to look in’ his son’s eyes as he CUT OFF HIS FREAKING HEAD??? Is that the litmus test for acceptability when murdering someone? So it’s okay to saw off a person’s head with a knife, as long as you look into their eyes? Also, I can tell you from personal experience, American and coalition troops are working with Iraqi troops and the Iraqi people, we are not on any ‘terrorist’ campaign over here.

For Michael Berg to make a statement like that and call our commander and chief a terrorist is a condescending take on every person in the military, we are NOT terrorists by any stretch of the imagination, we are here to help the Iraqi people regain control of their country and set up a representative form of government. If Michael Berg were to come over here and actually tour any of the American bases, at least then he would be qualifed to make some sort of statement about what we are doing. But no, he has not been here, he is merely another mouthpiece for the radical left wing, spouting off anti war rhetoric from the 60’s in the hope of living out another Vietnam era, something that, thank God, is not going to happen.

Current Lyrical Ramblings

You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you
They say the empty can rattles the most
The sound of your voice must soothe you
Hearing only what you want to hear
And knowing only what you've heard
You… you're smothered in tragedy
You're out to save the world

My Friend Of Misery – Metallica