Thursday, April 8, 2004



Change

"Change, now it's time for change, nothing stays the same, now it's time for change"

Ah, to bring a little Motley Crue into my little online journal, how nice is that? If you don't like the big hair 80's bands, well, move on then!! Actually, that's as far as I'll go into that topic for the time being.

Change... the intangible constant that seems the only sure thing, other than death and taxes. Those who best adjust to change have a considerable advantage to those like me, who seem to abhore change and cringe at even the concept of walking into their own living room and finding that someone moved the recliner to the other side of the room. Certainly, there are aspects to change that are acceptable, like the change in my wages last week when I gained a dollar an hour, but in most situations, change is evil, something to be attacked and killed off like a spiteful demon from hell *am I being a bit overdramatic here? Yah, I am, oh well, DAMN YOU CHANGE*

I can remember way back to high school, the first time something like that hit me. Your life is so well structured up to the point when you graduate from high school, at which time, society deems you to be ready for one giant change: moving on to college, or into the work force, or becoming a bum and moving from town to town in open train cars *there are certainly times when that seems more appealing than working for a living, I'll tell you that much*

I did go to college, after one year of working at my parents farm. I didn't feel I was ready for that vigorous of a change yet so I took that year to grow up a little, and I think it really helped me out. It was at college that I saw where change can really hit you hard: the people you become good friends with decide that either college isn't the way for them or they move far away to another college, and you never see them again. Now, depending on how good a friend they are, will indicate the amount this change affects you. It seems when you become friends with someone you invest part of yourself within them, I suppose this recipe includes time, your heart, maybe even a little of your soul to those who are very close.

College is so interesting... it's almost as though you end up learning more from the environment than you do from the actual classes themselves. For most, it's the first experience they have with living on their own, although some seem so tied into their parents that they don't really live on their own at all, but I feel most end up adjusting and moving on away from their immediate famililies and making the changes necessary to facilitate being on their own. I think there are other environments that duplicate what you see in college, working for a large company, working for the government, certainly being in the military is also a lot like that.

After college, you get a job, you hope to find someone you are compatible with, and begin to carve out your little niche in life. Change is now at it's peak. Everything is moving at such a constant, you learn to deal with it, and that's how it is.


I tend to lash out at change, directing my anger at times at those who facilitate changes, it's usually friends that become the target of my misplaced rage and irritation, and I've done that a few times lately, and then I feel enormous sadness, because certainly my inability to deal with changes leads to this, but damn, sometimes it's nice just to have some things remain, at least in the tiniest amount, the same.

But alas, life, and change, can never have that. And again, as always, change comes along, and just like right now, knocks me off the computer and sends me away to my wonderful job. I imagine change is a good thing, if there is no change, it's likely you are dead. I suppose a person could learn to be a hobo, or a hermit, and not deal with so much change, but that would sure be boring. Anyways, look at that, I'm going to be late for my job... haha, oh well. Have a change filled day everyone!!!

No comments: