To Whom It May Concern

NO JELLO FOR THE TROOPS!!!

I try hard to avoid being stereotypical about any group of people, be it based on sex, race, creed, sexual orientation, etc, but sometimes it's really hard when I'm looking at something and I just shake my head at the utter nonsense of it all.

Today I was looking over what cannot be sent to American troops in the middle east, the list of prohibited items sometimes makes sense, sometimes you scratch your head a little, and other times you sit in bewilderment at the nonsense you see before you.

I have provided here a list of items that are prohibited for shipping into Arabic countries:

Money or precious metals: not that there is a McDonalds to spend 20 american dollars at in the middle east, but this still seems crazy.

Mail addressed to 'any soldier' or 'any serviceman', etc: not really sure why this isn't allowed, perhaps to avoid anthrax letters? who knows.

Obscene articles, movies, paintings, and horror comics: can't have our servicemen looking at a playboy before going out to war!!! I suppose any comic would be considered a horror comic in the middle east. "OH NO, Batman the Horrible!!!"

Any mail containing anything contrary to the islamic faith: yah, imagine that, for a faith that claims continually to be persecuted by all other religions, they certainly do their best to destroy anyone who thinks differently than they do about religion.

Firearms of any type are prohibited: this is worldwide actually, but it's still too bad, I was going to send out some nice weapons to all the people I know over there, you know, cuz they don't have enough guns as it is? MMMkay?

Pork or pork by-products: oh no, no jello for the troops, no sausage or bacon for breakfast!! Does this mean no football too? You would think so, wouldn't want someone tossing the 'pigskin' around the dessert now would you?

Fruits, animals, or living plants: dang, I wanted to send a cat to a friend of mine, now I can't. So much for the oak tree too.

All alcoholic beverages: I can't imagine what this is like, drinking is as much a part of the military as shooting the enemy a few dozen times.

Materials used in the production of alcohol: "Look, I swear the yeast was for making some yummy bread, okay?"

There were some other ones, but they were usually related to the size of the object or other meaningless things. I guess I can't send my sister that keg of beer and the roasted suckling hog she wanted to have, she will just have to get by on some O'douls non alcoholic beer and some turkey ham.