To Whom It May Concern

Ellen DeGeneres, You Are NOT Funny

Last night I had the unfortunate chance to catch a little bit of the Academy Awards show. This show is not one I would normally every watch, being that it's just another opportunity for attention hogs to lather themselves out upon the cameras. But I happened to walk thru my grandparent's house up at the farm and my grandmother and sister were watching the show.

What little bit I did catch, I happened to see that Ellen DeGeneres was hosting the show. Of course, there she was with her feeble attempts at humor, which are actually just inane ramblings and observations that aren't removely funny, and watching the audience clap away at her as though they were actually enjoying themselves. If they were, they're dumber than I give them credit for.

Am I the only one who feels this way? I remember a young comic years ago who was funny, she had wry, dry, deadpan humor, it was satirical, it was downright hilarious. This comic was on Showtime in the mid 80's, Johnny Carson, and was labeled by some as the funniest comic in America. Yes, this was the same Ellen DeGeneres I mentioned above...

What the hell happened? It seems like about the time she came out of the closet and announced that she was a lesbian, her career plummeted down the toilet. I looked at her Yahoo actress profile and they actually have the audacity to claim that her sexual orientation is the main reason this happened. Uh, no, the main reason that this happened is that she chose to use her sexual preference as the main subject of her routines, and guess what, that shit wasn't funny. It has nothing to do with my feelings about homosexuality, for the most part, I'm pretty much middle of the road on the issue, whatever you do behind closed doors, just don't throw it in my face. The only fact of the matter about DeGeneres is that sometime in the mid 1990's, she lost 'it', whatever 'it' was that made her funny, and she has never found 'it' again.

I guess she still has a show on television somewhere, and I can't imagine how annoying that is to watch. Her humor now is so unoriginal, it's almost as though it's aimed at making young children laugh, her perfect part may have been the idiot fish with no memory in "Finding Nemo", because she does indeed sound like an idiot, an idiot with no memory of how and when she was actually a really great comedian.

I don't know that she will ever find what it was that she had in the first place, that made her funny at one time. I think the first thing she needs to do is just drop the whole "Hey, I'm a lesbian isn't that great" act that she keeps using as source for her material. She did it again just before the Acadamy Award's Show, saying that this year's show would be "...the most lesbianist show ever." Yah, and coincidently to your hosting, the most 'not funny' ever.

Go back to the drawing board, Ellen, the 'funny lesbian trying to make people laugh' is not working.