Sunday, January 1, 2006


Some Of The Best Things In Life Are Total Mistakes

As I look back at the last year, it’s amazing where I am in comparison to where I was one year ago today. One year ago today I was single, living in a nice little quaint apartment in Omaha with my girlfriend, getting ready for belly to leave for Marine boot camp. Oh what a difference 365 days makes. Today here I am in Iraq, belly is now a marine stationed in California of all places, and it will likely be another year before we are actually back living a normal life together.

A year ago right now I thought I could remain friends with someone I had once wronged, but unfortunately that was not to be. That’s where this phrase comes into play. Some of the best things in life are total mistakes. I hold regret over how I acted at one time in my life, but I had to come to the realization that there are only so many times that one may apologize for something, to go beyond that is to compromise becoming a better person.

During this year I realized I needed to dedicate myself to belly, not so much to spite anyone else, but because it was time to move on. I came to realize I was holding onto someone from the past and not recognizing her for who she was now and that wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair to myself, it wasn’t fair to belly, and it certainly wasn’t fair to my former significant other. So that being said, she seems to be really happy now, which is good. It was hard to let go of the idea of being friends, but that wasn’t meant to be. Some of the best things in life, well, they most certainly are mistakes. But it’s better to remember what was good.

A year ago right now I was feeling really irritated with myself for not having put more planning into getting an engagement ring, and missing out on asking belly to marry me 2 years to the day we first spent Christmas together. Note to any guy looking to get married: buying a ring is not an impulse buy, and honestly, you better let your prospective fiancé do the picking, unless you know a hell of a lot more about diamonds than I did.

We were married in July, more than a full year earlier than we expected, and with that the preparation to head over to a country as literally foreign to me in geography as in culture. What I have learned is how diverse and proud a people the Iraqis truly are. I have learned a lot more than that, and I continue to educate myself with each day. For this next year, I look forward to taking care of myself and my troops, continuing to improve myself both mentally and physically, and holding onto that day when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms again. I’ll get that chance for a couple of weeks in April, but I’m talking about really being home, regardless of where that may be. I really don’t care where we are at, as long as I have belly with me, it’s home, and that’s how it should be.

New years resolutions: Take better care of my body (eat better, exercise more), I’m not fat mind you, but I want to be a leaner meaner me. And quit swearing so much, I don’t fucking swear all the god damn time, but shit, I do enough : )


Current Lyrical Ramblings

Through all the happiness and sorrow,
I guess i'd do it all again.
Live for today and not tomorrow,
it's still the road that never ends.

Road To Nowhere – Ozzy Osbourne

1 comment:

dogpoop said...

You are in danger of falling out of Satan's flock.