To Whom It May Concern

Driving: Lincoln vs Omaha

In Nebraska, the two largest cities are divided by a mere 60 miles or so of interstate, and you would think that all the drivers would behave in roughly the same manner, this just is not the case.

Omaha is a great place to drive. The streets are almost all 4 lane, 2 for each driving direction. Omaha drivers drive quickly, as though they have a purpose, if the speed limit is 45, it's likely the flow of traffic will be moving along at 55. They will let you into traffic, but you need to be somewhat aggressive as to nosing your way in, but it is understood and you are let into traffic when you do so. The fast lane goes faster in Omaha, allowing people to move a little quicker from place to place and get around slower drivers who stay in the left lane.

Lincoln is a complete and total disaster for driving. Good luck finding 4 lane roads, and if you do, there are trees growing within 2 feet of most roads, sometimes even in the median. Lincoln drivers drive slowly, as though there is no where they have to be and no reason to drive responsibly at all. If the speed limit is 45, it's likely the flow of traffic will go along at about 30. No one will let you into traffic in Lincoln either, the town is filled with irresponsible "better than thou" type people and that translates directly over to their driving. Don't be surprised if you will sit thru two songs on the radio waiting to be let into traffic, and if you nose in, woah, the horns go off, the finger flies up, and the yelling commences. There is no fast lane in Lincoln, because Lincoln is the home of the Side By Side Driver!!

The Side By Side driver doesn't believe in a fast or slow lane, his mentality can best be described as Borg, and all cars are part of the collective hive, and need to move along at the same rate of speed. The most irritating thing about the Side By Side Driver, is that if the person next to him speeds up, so does he, and if the person next to him slows down, well he needs to slow down too. Frustrating, aggravating, irritating, this describes any Omaha driver that gets stuck in Lincoln trying to get around this mess.

I of course enjoy nosing out into traffic, and even better, I like slowing down and letting like four cars in at a time, because nothing is more fun than pissing off slow drivers who have no reason to be pissed off because they are already driving around with no purpose to begin with, so why be mad if things are moving along even more slowly?

The strangest part about the Lincoln driver however, is that once he is on the interstate, HOLY SHIT LOOK OUT I NEED TO GO 90 MPH AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!! But, once they reach Omaha, it's right back to Side by Side, no purpose, 10 mph at least under the speed limit driving. Only now, they are outnumbered by the Klingon like drivers of Omaha, and will be dragged from their cars and killed repeatedly, despite their unsuccessful attempts to assimilate the Omaha drivers into the collective of moronic granny style Lincoln driving.

There was a time that the license plates in Nebraska had a 1 at the beginning of the number for Omaha plates and a 2 for Lincoln, but now it's random gibberish on the plates for both cities. Not that it's all that hard to tell who is who. Look for the irritated driver in Lincoln trying to get ahead of the retardedly slow traffic flow, and that's the Omaha driver. Look for the driver in Omaha who pisses everyone off so badly that he is dragged from his car and beaten to a pulp, and that's the Lincoln driver.

I hope this clears up any confusion.