To Whom It May Concern

Pacifists Need Pacifiers

I'm sick of turning on the television or opening up the newspaper and seeing ignorant anti-war people spouting off their empty heads and loud mouths about how 'evil' America is for going after Iraq, and about how we terrible war is and that there is no excuse for fighting ever...

There is a set of instructions on how to handle a pacifist, it's really a simple procedure to help a pacifist change their ignorant ways:

First off, ask the person what they think about the war in Iraq, to be sure that this person is indeed a pacifist.

The person should answer with something like the following "War under any circumstances is bad, there are always better ways to handle any situations than to respond with violence".

At this point, punch the person in the nose, as hard as you can. If the person tries to fight back, hold up your hands and remind them that responding to your assault with aggression is bad, and that, as he/she had said before, there are better ways to handle this situation than fighting back. The person will say something like "Yes, that is right, fighting back is..." cut them off by punching them in the face as hard as you can again. If the person does not fight back after the first punch, then just punch them again right away.

Repeat the before mentioned steps until the person realizes that, yes, sometimes it is necessary to fight back to protect oneself