Tuesday, March 11, 2003



Price Goes Up, Taste Goes Down

I have been doing a lot of research into today's post, because of course I am so very smart as you all know. What I have found out is that there is a direct correlation between the cost of food and the taste of food. I have supplied a graphic display in order to demonstrate exactly what I am talking about, please click on the link below:

SUPPORTING GRAPHIC DISPLAY


I have made this link large so that you will not miss clicking on it. Now, after clicking, you will want to revert back to the display as you read this from time to time, to fully understand the incredible contribution I have made to the scientific research of food vs money.

This curve illustrates the correlation between the cost of food and the taste of food. Now notice, ramen noodles is at the low end of both the price range and the quality of taste. This is because ramen is cheap and tastes like crap. As you move up in price range, the quality of taste also moves up along a very scientifically researched curve, called of course, "The Curve Of Taste". You will notice chicken noodle soup on your way up, and then shortly thereafter, the staple diet of most college students, macaroni and cheese.

The burrito and the cheeseburger are now found along a higher cost and taste quality bracket, as is to be expected. After that you find the subway sandwich holding it's own, then of course spaghetti with meatballs and pizza doing the high flavor relatively low dollar dance. At the top of the taste chart, right where they should be, are lasagna and steak, the undisputed rulers of the food kingdom.

After that, the price of the food begins to outweigh the overall taste. Calamari (squid) can be found with a reasonable amount of taste, then you have sushi, a bit more expensive, falling down the taste chart yet up the price scale. At that point it's all downhill, with escargot, caviar, and finally, truffles, taking up the banner for high cost and horrible taste. An interesting point to these higher cost foods: Notice that each food is a particular item but is given a fancy name as though to justify the cost? Take 'escargot' for instance, that is snails, does it make a difference really to call it escargot? Not to me, it's still snails. Caviar is fish eggs of course, and truffles, well, that's a mushroom. I don't like cheap mushrooms, so why would I be eating an ungodly priced fungus? Nope, not for me.

I could go into great detail about the expensive lengths I went to in order to insure the quality of my research, but I won't, because I wouldn't want to give away the secrets to my incredible formulas and also because I'm sure I would just bore you with the intricacies of my thesis. I am certain that someday perhaps I can achieve a doctorate in food research and be world renowned as a pioneer in my field, but for now I will just have to be content with all of your support, I thank you for that.

Have a great night *eats some spaghetti*

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