People Eating Tasty Animals

My sweety recently received something in the mail, I have NO clue where it came from or how it got here *haha*. It was addressed to her with the middle name NOMEAT. Of course, she knew immediately who had sent that to her.

This little package was actually from PETA, it was called a "Vegan Starter Kit" and from the looks of the packaging; colors and stickers and what not, it's aimed at school aged kids, like 8th grade or so. The set of stickers is green and black and they say things like DISSECTION = SCHOOL VIOLENCE and CUT CLASS NOT FROGS. As I read on thru it though, there were phrases like "Factory farms aren't fairy tales, THEY'RE HELL" and "DO YOU GIVE A SHIT?" and "DO YOU GIVE A DAMN", along with NOW GET OFF YOUR ASS..." I was surprised that PETA would do something like this in a promotional pack for kids.

As I read further, I laughed aloud when I got to the part about milk and dairy cows. Nearly everything they put up about the dairy industry was completely false. This was what they said:

"Up to three times a day, dairy cows get electric machines hooked up to their massively swollen udders. Cuts and injuries to their udders are common- and so is mastitis, a painful infection. The pus, blood, and scabs, plus hormones and antibiotics, all end up in that milk mustache."

Misleading, misconceptions, and outright lies. Yes, cows get milked three times a day. That's about the end to the validity of the above statement. Electric machines? Negative, the machines work thru a pulsating pressure device powered by pneumatic vacuum suction, actively simulating the sucking of a baby calf. In many dairies there is no electricity at all running to the 'milkers' as they are called, and in those that are, the only electrical part reads the amount of milk going into the milker and shuts it down at a certain point. There is no use of electricity to do the actual milking of the cow at all, but by saying "electric machines", PETA can mislead people into thinking they are, hence electricity, zapping the cows.

Cuts and injuries are not all that common, and when it does happen, that cow is taken 'offline' and given antibiotics, and injured areas are rubbed down with 'udder balm'. The cow is still milked, but that milk goes into a tank separated from grade A production milk. Mastitis is common in every mammal, even humans get mastitis, and just as humans are treated, as are cattle. Again, the milk from a treated cow goes into a separate tank, so you don't get any antibiotics in your 'milk mustache', as PETA claims. When there are that many lies in one section, the section I am familiar with, that certainly brings into question the authenticity of the entire booklet PETA sent out.

Maybe I'll start a new group, and call it PETOV, "People for the Ethical Treatment Of Vegetables", and target vegans for 'murderous rampages of peace loving plants on our planet" or some such ridiculous crap, after all, if filling a pamphlet with mindless drivel and sending it out to people who, for the most part, couldn't care less about PETA or PETOV. No one is ever going to tell me I cannot eat meat, the day that happens is the day someone will be picking my boot from out their mouth.

Golf Is Totally Stressing Me, Time For A Break!

Tiger Woods, superstar golf athlete (if golfers can truly be called athletes, who knows?), took some time off from golf awhile back because he was 'burned out' and needed some time away. How exactly can he justify that? I mean, seriously, people who are damn good at golf make a really good living at it, they also get several months off a year. I certainly wish I could do that, because I'll tell you what, one day at my 9 dollar an hour job burns me out. But, unfortunately, I don't have the money to allow myself to do something like that, because takinga break from working means getting kicked out of my place and losing a lot of other things that I really need to survive.

But when I hear someone like Woods talking about being burned out, that really makes me laugh. Yes, I understand the media coverage is intense and that being under the spotlight is stressful, but come on, for 50 million a year, or whatever he is making when you add up his winnings and endorsement deals, I think I would put up with that. Hell, I'd do it for 10 percent of that, geesh, even 1 percent of that. A measly 500,000 for me and I have cameras following me around? Oh well.

Of course, Tiger doesn't help himself by acting like a big overemotional baby when he misses a put or has a bad drive, but then, even if he wasn't the cameras would still be there.

I shouldn't ride on Woods all that bad, because it's not just him that I hear complaining about things, the worst of the sports superstars complain about not having enough money, and justify wanting more than 11 million dollars a year with stupid assinined comments like "well, I'm only economically viable as a player for about 4, maybe 5 years, I have to think about my future you know?" Hello, earth calling jackass, normal human beings could put away 1 million dollars and live off the interest alone. Not only that, but perhaps you should think about a getting a JOB once your time on the field or in the ring or on the track has run out.

There is life beying sports, but you would be hard pressed to convince some of these idiots about it.

Smoked Human Jerky, YUMM!!

I try to get a semblance of a tan during the summer. I shouldn't really say I try all that hard, because this usually consists of me laying out perhaps 4, maybe five times, rarely longer than 45 minutes or so. I do end up tanning reasonably well, although this summer, because I'm driving for a living, I have this strange, alien like one armed tan, as though my arm leaves me and lays out when I'm not aware or something.

What boggles my mind is when it's March, like the first nice day of the year, 65 degrees or so, and you are at the grocery store, and some lady comes in wearing shorts and a t-shirt and she looks like a piece of beef jerky, all dried out and dark and nasty looking. "Pardon me for staring with my mouth wide open, but that has to be the nastiest thing I've ever seen."

Is there some sort of unknown beauty rule I don't know about in effect here? The darker, wrinklier, and dried out you are, the sexier you are, the more people will look at you and think "yah, now there is what I want to look like, 20 years older than I actually am and easily mistaken for a piece of smoked and dried meat."

About the only thing I can think of is that tanning becomes an addiction or something, or that the person doing the tanning completely loses track of how incredibly awful they look and they just keep on doing it, oblivious to becoming one with the walking dead. I'm totally torn, do I pull out a bottle of moisturizing lotion and toss it to this person to try and help them save themselves? Or do I just pull out a gun and shoot them in order to put them out of their misery? I just don't know.

European Mutt American Music Awards

I recently turned on the television, and what did I see? The Latino Music Awards!! OH BOY!! Talk about a totally racist idea. Have you ever sat back and thought about what it means to single out your race for awards? How about trying this sometime: take a speech about African Americans or Hispanics and change every word Hispanic or African American or black to the word white. You will think you are reading a Ku Klux Klan speech. Yet as a society we accept this when it's the other way around, and we really shouldn't.

For hundreds of years now blacks have worked very hard to achieve respect and dignity in this nation, and to be recognized on the basis of individual achievement versus skin color. This is extremely important, to get people to see the person for who he is, and not for the bias that his or her skin color may represent. Yet in the same way, you cannot award someone strictly on the basis of skin color either, that is honestly just as bad as a person stereotyping against another person based on skin color.

I am not trying to single out blacks and Hispanics either, this happens with women, it happens with Jewish persons, it happens all the time with just about any group of people who 'look different' from what society may see as the majority. And society will continue to do so as long as recognition is given out to these groups of people, whether that recognition be bad, or good.

My Lightbar Is Bigger

Volunteer fire departments are a necessity around smaller towns, because of the inability cost-wise of the town to actually hire out full time firefighters, paramedics, and drivers. Regular people from around time spend their valuable time as volunteers to not only maintain a fire fighting, rescue squad, and emergency force, but the time to train themselves to be technically efficient to use the newest equipment to save lives.

With this in mind, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about what I'm posting here. I have the utmost respect for these people. The problem I have is with the idiot volunteer who goes and buys a gigantic $750 regulation police light bar for his vehicle, along with 'fireman' stickers all over the windows of his truck, fireman license plate borders, personalized fireman plates, and whatever other gaudy advertising he can think of to point at himself and say "LOOK AT ME, I'M A FIREMAN!!"

You never see actual firemen doing this, I drive by the downtown fire station headquarters here in Omaha, and at most you will see a little sticker about 4 inches around and once in a while borders on the license plates, but that's it. I guess the biggest problem I have with people like this is the gigantic lightbar, it's just completely ludicrous and serves no real purpose whatsoever over the ordinary interior flashing red light, people can see that red light just as well as they can the lightbar... oh, except you can't see the red light unless it's turned on, but with that massive light bar on top of your truck, well, no one can miss the fact that you are a fireman.

God forbid you actually do what you do in relative anonymity without trying to promote yourself to the fullest extent of your abilities and then some. I appreciate the guys and gals out there who do this job without having to go to such lengths to let everyone else know what they do to help their community. I just wish everyone who does it was that way.

Racing Lawnmowers

I drive a 1991 Dodge Daytona Shelby IROC, it has around 190 horsepower, a 4 cylinder turbo. This car is a sports car, it has a reasonable amount of power, and good torque provided by the turbocharger. What totally blows my mind, is how the movie "Fast And The Furious" has spawned thousands of idiots driving around in economy cars thinking they can race everyone.

A Honda is NOT a race car. There is only one Honda that can lay claim to being a race car and it's the S2000 roadster, and for $35,000 I think I would buy something with a lot more power and speed, like a Ford Mustang Cobra or Chevy Camaro SS. But don't tell these dorks driving Hondas around that they are not sports cars, oh god no. I don't understand it really. Most of the Hondas I see have a 1200 dollar set of rims on them, and DRUM BRAKES IN BACK... DRUM BRAKES!! I say it twice to reiterate how stupid it is. If you are going to spend a ton of money on rims, spend some time and put disc brakes on your rear wheels, I did, with two different cars. Also, the run of the mill honda has about 130 horsepower. Adding a 6 inch muffler and a cold air intake will give you, at most, an 25 horsepower. Do you really think that means you are going to go race me, or worse yet, a V-8 car? Whatever.

It gets worse. 4 door Camrys and Altimas with huge mufflers and racing rims, stickers, stripes, neon lights, all wanting to race all the damn time. Usually I just let them go, but every so often I get annoyed and blow them away. It's funny too, I've hit two deer with my car so my car looks like crap now, perhaps as they watch my tail lights disappear, they will realize that it's not looks at all, it's what you've got under the hood, that makes the car go. I think the funniest sight is when a 'ricer' (commonly used name for a pile of crap economy car with stickers and a big muffler) pulls up next to an american built SUV and gets blown away by soccer mom, who isn't even trying all that hard.

I think that anytime a new honda is sold, it should come with a lawnmower blade underneath it, because everytime I hear one of these dorks in their cars with the big muffles, it sounds like someone is mowing the lawn. This would give Honda drivers something constructive to do, obviously they can't race real cars, so they could have races to see who can mow a lawn the fastest, finally, something a Honda driver can win.

I think what says it all is this fact: no Honda car played any significant role whatsoever in the movie "The Fast And The Furious", even the S2000 wasn't really shown all that much, and you didn't see any stinking accord or prelude running around all bad ass against the real import tuner cars. Too bad ricers around here don't seem to realize that.

Driving: Lincoln vs Omaha

In Nebraska, the two largest cities are divided by a mere 60 miles or so of interstate, and you would think that all the drivers would behave in roughly the same manner, this just is not the case.

Omaha is a great place to drive. The streets are almost all 4 lane, 2 for each driving direction. Omaha drivers drive quickly, as though they have a purpose, if the speed limit is 45, it's likely the flow of traffic will be moving along at 55. They will let you into traffic, but you need to be somewhat aggressive as to nosing your way in, but it is understood and you are let into traffic when you do so. The fast lane goes faster in Omaha, allowing people to move a little quicker from place to place and get around slower drivers who stay in the left lane.

Lincoln is a complete and total disaster for driving. Good luck finding 4 lane roads, and if you do, there are trees growing within 2 feet of most roads, sometimes even in the median. Lincoln drivers drive slowly, as though there is no where they have to be and no reason to drive responsibly at all. If the speed limit is 45, it's likely the flow of traffic will go along at about 30. No one will let you into traffic in Lincoln either, the town is filled with irresponsible "better than thou" type people and that translates directly over to their driving. Don't be surprised if you will sit thru two songs on the radio waiting to be let into traffic, and if you nose in, woah, the horns go off, the finger flies up, and the yelling commences. There is no fast lane in Lincoln, because Lincoln is the home of the Side By Side Driver!!

The Side By Side driver doesn't believe in a fast or slow lane, his mentality can best be described as Borg, and all cars are part of the collective hive, and need to move along at the same rate of speed. The most irritating thing about the Side By Side Driver, is that if the person next to him speeds up, so does he, and if the person next to him slows down, well he needs to slow down too. Frustrating, aggravating, irritating, this describes any Omaha driver that gets stuck in Lincoln trying to get around this mess.

I of course enjoy nosing out into traffic, and even better, I like slowing down and letting like four cars in at a time, because nothing is more fun than pissing off slow drivers who have no reason to be pissed off because they are already driving around with no purpose to begin with, so why be mad if things are moving along even more slowly?

The strangest part about the Lincoln driver however, is that once he is on the interstate, HOLY SHIT LOOK OUT I NEED TO GO 90 MPH AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!! But, once they reach Omaha, it's right back to Side by Side, no purpose, 10 mph at least under the speed limit driving. Only now, they are outnumbered by the Klingon like drivers of Omaha, and will be dragged from their cars and killed repeatedly, despite their unsuccessful attempts to assimilate the Omaha drivers into the collective of moronic granny style Lincoln driving.

There was a time that the license plates in Nebraska had a 1 at the beginning of the number for Omaha plates and a 2 for Lincoln, but now it's random gibberish on the plates for both cities. Not that it's all that hard to tell who is who. Look for the irritated driver in Lincoln trying to get ahead of the retardedly slow traffic flow, and that's the Omaha driver. Look for the driver in Omaha who pisses everyone off so badly that he is dragged from his car and beaten to a pulp, and that's the Lincoln driver.

I hope this clears up any confusion.

The Redneck Pretender

CBS had a show on for a few years called "The Pretender", in which this rather intelligent boy named Jared was raised up by a company, and taught just about every imaginable job skill known to man. Jared escapes and lives his life on the run, searching for his real parents, and doing good deeds as a doctor, pilot, scientist, lawyer, every skilled type job you could imagine. The company that raised him chases him week after week, trying to find him, and always ends up just a few minutes behind him as Jared escapes.

I think a great idea for a new show would be "The Redneck Pretender". In this show, Joe Bob would be kidnapped from his trailer at a young age and raised in a chicken factory to be able to do a whole number of totally meaningless jobs. Of course he would escape, and week to week, Joe Bob would work as a short order cook, a gas pump attendant, pizza delivery guy, septic tank cleaner, and taxi cab driver. Those chasing him could be the reincarnation of Boss Hog and Sheriff Roscoe P. Coaltrain, always just a step behind the cunning Joe Bob and his 36 foot trailer pulled behind a 1983 Ford pickup.

It's really too bad I don't work for a broadcasting network, because an idea like this is pure gold, gold I tell ya!!

Highway Etiquette: Trucks

I drive a truck at work, a straight truck that weighs 22,000 lbs. I also drive a tractor trailer for the military. I have always had quite a bit of respect for truck drivers and what they have to deal with, and I also respect most passenger car drivers when they slip in and out of traffic responsibly in order to save time so they don't end up behind a truck. But I have zero respect for gravel truck drivers, especially the ones who drive the truck + pup trailers. These guys are like the low life of truck drivers, they have no respect for good manners or any laws of the road, be they written or unwritten. I sometimes wonder if some of them even have a license, as I watch them speeding recklessly thru traffic.

As I drive my truck, I know that in most situations it is best for me to be in the right lane, the slow lane, this allows faster more agile passenger cars to go around me and get to their destinations more quickly, especially in areas with a lot of stopping, like suburban or commercial situations. Not gravel truck drivers, they come up on a line of cars in the right lane and they whip out into the left lane, hoping somehow to trim an extra 5 seconds off the time it takes to get thru a stoplight. They do this especially if there is a truck(s) already in the right lane. What is most amazing about this is that usually the gravel truck ends up being the last one thru the light, blocking all normally faster moving traffic in the left lane, as the right lane moves smoothly along.

I realize that my truck will go anywhere from 5 to 10 miles an hour slower uphill than downhill, and I adjust my driving accordingly as to not block people in on the passing lane. Again, not so with gravel trucks, they will 'downhill drive' like crazy (45 mph up hills, 85 mph down hills), causing big time frustration to passenger cars, and even worse for truck drivers who are able to hold somewhat of a constant speed. Those truck drivers cannot pass a gravel truck going uphill and many times cannot gain enough momentum to get around them going downhill, causing at the least frustration and at worst cases of road rage, something you do not want to have happening between trucks.

Nebraska has a state law that requires gravel trucks to be tarped. But you will rarely ever see one that is using the tarp, oh, it might be on the truck, but it's very unlikely it will be unrolled over the cargo of blasting sand that pelts yours and everyone elses vehicles as you travel down the road. If you stick your hand out the window while following one down the interstate, good luck, you are likely to lose some skin. I have never quite understood why none of them are ever ticketed for this, at least none to my knowledge.

There are times that passenger car drivers do stupider things than even the gravel truck drivers do, things that make no sense whatsoever and end up with the person in the car probably wishing they had used a little more intelligence in their decision making. I was involved in just such an incident today.

I was driving my truck along Interstate 80 today at about 4:15 in the afternoon, when I made a move to get into the outside left lane, in order to join the faster moving traffic. I put my blinker on, then noticed that the car coming up was moving along at a fairly good rate of speed so I let him pass by, then began to move into the left lane. At this point my blinker had been going for about 12 to 16 seconds, there was a cadillac moving up in the fast lane, I adjusted my speed accordingly to enter the lane, and the cadillac was a good ten car lengths or better back from me at that time. This wise ass decides to speed up and actually passes me on the shoulder, driving thru gravel and all sorts of debris and within about 5 inches of my truck and the concrete barriers they have in the middle of the interstate to divide the traffic going in opposite directions. Dust and sand pelted my truck as he moved back into the driving lane of traffic.

I was completely shocked that someone would do this, especially someone in about a $40,000 automobile. not only that, but he ended up slowing down to an even slower speed than I had been going to begin with. I moved up behind him, to a point where I had a four second cushion of space, and just shook my head. About a half mile down the road, smoke rolled from under the cadillac and his driver's side rear tire exploded. Now he moved onto the shoulder for a reason. As I drove on by, I turned and looked out the window and gave the biggest, friendliest, most sarcastic wave and smile you could possibly imagine. I know, this wasn't a very gentlemanly thing to do, but in this case, I could not resist.

Moral Of The Story : Sometimes saving yourself precious seconds adds aggravating hours to your journey. Jackass behavior got jackass results for Mr Cadillac, and he should have known better than to drive his car thru the shoulder where, most likely, he picked up a pretty decent sized chunk of debris in his tire. Thankfully, no one was hurt, and I had the highlight of my day, perhaps even my work week.

Feel Sorry For Stupidity?

I don't know how often someone dies in a car accident, they have stats for that, like 1 every 47 seconds or whatever it may be, but I am not sure what it is exactly. What I find amazing is how often those involved are not wearing their seatbelts. Take this particular accident for instance:

Accident Kills Three Teenagers

The teens were trying to imitate a car commercial in which a Toyota jumps a bridge. What makes this accident even more appalling is the complete disregard for human life that the driver shows when interviewed by the local paper recently. The driver of the car, Joseph Fitzgerald, 16, of Omaha, was quoted as saying "This was not my fault, I shouldn't be the one who gets blamed, everyone in the car wanted to do it." WHAT??? WAKE UP JOEY!! YOU WERE DRIVING THE CAR!! There should have been some responsibility taken by each of the riders in the car to have worn their seat belts, especially given the stupid stunt they were attempting to recreate, unfortunately, no one did wear seat belts, and this is the result.

I feel that every single accident involving injury should be reported in the papers with large red letters under the news headline "SEATBELTS WERE NOT WORN" when people do not wear seat belts and get hurt. And in massive wrecks with minor injuries, "SEATBELTS WERE WORN" to reiterate the importance of wearing a seatbelt.

I hear some pretty amazing excuses as to why someone doesn't wear a seat belt:

I don't want to get trapped in the car (if it goes underwater/ starts on fire)

This is really a two part excuse, and both parts are incredibly ignorant. If your car starts on fire following an accident, it's likely there was a pretty significant impact that created the fire, if you don't have a seatbelt on, it's likely you are going to be injured, and a good chance you will be injured so badly you won't be able to exit the car at all. As far as going underwater, studies have shown that there is such a small chance of being involved in a submersion accident in comparison with other accidents, again outweighing any reason for not wearing a seatbelt. Not only that, but a car becoming submerged also has impact that may throw the person from the seat just from the car hitting the water, not even mentioning what may have led to the car going into the water to begin with. Being belted in allows a person to orientate themselves to where they are at within the car and increases the likelihood of escape.

If I'm thrown from the car I won't be injured as badly

This is such a bad excuse I have to stifle laughter when I hear it. Where do you end up when you are thrown from a car? Well, you end up being thrown into the path the car is moving, be it rolling on it's wheels, end over end, or side over side. Time and time again people are killed by vehicles crushing them after being ejected. Also, being ejected from a car at 60 mph, it doesn't matter what you hit, you are going to be severely injured, even landing in a grass ditch will leave you in the hospital with broken bones, probably worse.

I don't want to wrinkle my dress clothes

Yes, god forbid you get a crease in your suit jacket. Hey, your dress clothes will look really nice on you at the funeral right? I mean, after your head makes contact with the windshield at 60 mph, but wait, I guess your blood will ruin that particular outfit, now won't it?

I can hold onto the steering wheel and avoid being ejected or going into the windshield

Who are you kidding??? The laws of nature are against you in this one, the force exerted by your body moving forward at even 35mph as a vehicle comes to an instant stop in a collision will bend the steering wheel first before breaking your grip and hammering you into the windshield and/or tossing you from the car, you don't have a chance of 'holding on'.

It's such a hassle to deal with putting a seatbelt on and off, and it's so constrictive

Hmm, versus the minor hassle of hospitalization, surgery, scars, paralysis, and death, I suppose that excuse makes sense right? It takes all of 3 seconds to put a seatbelt on and maybe 2 seconds to take it off.

There are no good excuses for not wearing a seat belt. Oh, the last one, I would be injured worse with a seatbelt on; Nope, there is such a slight chance of that happening, it's ridiculous to even try to use that as a valid excuse. And, just for the record, I survived a wreck in which I would have died if I had worn a seatbelt, in which the rear door collapsed inward and into the seat where my 4 year old body would have been sitting had I been belted in. But even I know that it was a fluke. So don't think I'm going to feel bad for someone who doesn't wear their seat belt and gets killed in an accident, ESPECIALLY an accident they may have walked away from or been injured in slightly had they worn one. Stupidity isn't much of a reason for pity in my opinion.

Metallica Is Slipping

Metallica is releasing a new album this week, their first new material in a long time. Fans have already reportedly reserved an astonishing 1.5 million copies of the album. Unfortunately, I have a feeling they are going to be sorely disappointed in this cd.

I didn't get into Metallica right away when they made it big. The music was so hard that it took me a few years to really appreciate it for what it was worth. The first Metallica album I purchased was And Justice For All, and I bought the black album, and Load and Reload. Although others thought they sold out after "And Justice For All", I thought they did a good job of moving into a more mainstream musical approach. I have also intended on purchasing the albums from before And Justice For All.

I was driving around in my work truck the other day and the morning guys on local station 93.3 KRTZ (they are a couple of complete douchebags, but I won't go into that) were all excited because they had the new single from the upcoming Metallica album and they were going to play it. I was intrigued myself, looking forward to hearing what they were going to sound like, because all indications pointed to a return to harder metal like they used to play.

The song is terrible immediately. The drums sound like Lars is on speed or some other amphetamine of some sort, just hammering away on them with no real purpose at all, James Hetfield is ranting away out of sync also, and the guitar is just plain uncoordinated at best. I can only pray that the rest of this album has more substance and better songs, or this is going to be one of the most astonishingly huge musical failures of all time, regardless of how many they sell the first few days. They won't sell much more once people start realizing how terrible it really is.

The only reason the song is even being played by radio stations everywhere is because of the name Metallica itself, which is really sad. If St. Anger had been released by a no name band, every radio station in the nation would have laughed hysterically and never have played it, but oh, because it's METALLICA, they feel they have to play it, and not only that, retards like the morning guys on 93.3 actually talk about how great the song is and keep a straight face about it, to me that is just absurd. If they weren't being paid big bucks by Elektra to promote the song no one on earth would play it. It's THAT bad.

Pacifists Need Pacifiers

I'm sick of turning on the television or opening up the newspaper and seeing ignorant anti-war people spouting off their empty heads and loud mouths about how 'evil' America is for going after Iraq, and about how we terrible war is and that there is no excuse for fighting ever...

There is a set of instructions on how to handle a pacifist, it's really a simple procedure to help a pacifist change their ignorant ways:

First off, ask the person what they think about the war in Iraq, to be sure that this person is indeed a pacifist.

The person should answer with something like the following "War under any circumstances is bad, there are always better ways to handle any situations than to respond with violence".

At this point, punch the person in the nose, as hard as you can. If the person tries to fight back, hold up your hands and remind them that responding to your assault with aggression is bad, and that, as he/she had said before, there are better ways to handle this situation than fighting back. The person will say something like "Yes, that is right, fighting back is..." cut them off by punching them in the face as hard as you can again. If the person does not fight back after the first punch, then just punch them again right away.

Repeat the before mentioned steps until the person realizes that, yes, sometimes it is necessary to fight back to protect oneself

Dumping Is BAD!!!

I was on a route out of Lincoln earlier today while working and I saw this written on a billboard... "Dumping Is BAD!!!" and there was a sheep on the billboard, and a pile of something beside the sheep in a field, like along a road or something. This has to be one of the stranger billboards I have ever seen in my life (although, every one of them in South Dakota on the interstate going west probably is wierder, but we won't go there, it's South Dakota, enough said).

I got to thinking, what in the world is someone doing dumping a perfectly good sheep??? I mean, the sheep in the picture on the billboard was healthy, he was looking unhappily at some pile of stuff, perhaps someone dumped him too close to some garbage? I really don't know...

I wondered perhaps, if this were a play on words, such as, "Dumping Is Baaaaaaaaaad", like a sheep going "baaaaaaahhhhh". Certainly in this day and age we don't still have problems with rogue sheep running around leaving piles of litter in the wilderness? You have to really hate it when sheep get all wild in this day and age and start dumping their McDonald's wrappers out of the car and leaving messes around.

But, I am sure I actually figured out what the billboard meant, because obviously, if you think about sheep dumping, it probably means that there are wild sheep in the city of Lincoln crapping on people's lawns. Nobody wants that going on, that is just terrible. Of course, someone should have thought of one thing before they put up the billboard...

MOST SHEEP CANNOT READ!!!

DUH, I swear, don't people think before they act? What a waste of money, only the smartest of sheep can read, and I wouldn't think they are the ones out crapping around, well, unless they are drunk, or high, but then, sheep that are doing drugs aren't all that smart, now are they?

Well, let's just hope that someone can get ot the bottom of all this sheep dumping going on.

Modern Torture Device

I would like to meet the man who invented the three piece suit, and kick him right in the balls. That's right, wind up, and just drive my foot right up into his family jewels, to let him know how much I do NOT appreciate the idea of wearing such a ridiculously uncomfortable getup. It certainly wasn't on the basis of comfort that someone decided to get up one morning, put on a starched white shirt with 12 buttons on it, including one that tightens right around the neck, toss on some tweed pants with a belt, hot dark colored leather shoes that, regardless of what anyone says, are NEVER as comfortable as athletic shoes.

Then a tie, the worst part of all, it is tight, restricting, it blows all over in the wind, drops in water in the drinking fountain, and gets into everything you eat, too. And putting the tie on is the worst of all, adjusting it and reputting it on again till finally the ends match and the little end in back isn't longer than the one up front. On top of that is the jacket, anothe 3 buttons to do and a lovely heavy hot, even more constricting final touch to the whole suit process. Then of course there are the lovely accessories to the suit, the big heavy briefcase, the heavy metal watch, cufflinks, etc.

The business suit makes me question the very sanity of which we, humans, have evolved as a race. Let's be quite truthful about this now. If humans were truly the most intelligent animals on the planet, then why in the hell are we even wearing these stupid outfits to work??? We should be wearing sweat pants and t-shirts, running shoes, and perhaps a light jacket when it's chilly in the office. But no, we insist on punishing ourselves with these ridiculous clown suits and pretending there it is normal to be this uncomfortable at work.

And yah, I'm sure some of you are saying "oh, I am very comfortable in my suit at work." Well why don't you lounge in your suit, or go work out in a three piece, or sleep in your suit? Because it's not THAT comfortable, now is it? Or perhaps it is because of the price of the outfit, another reason why suits are really stupid. If the world were truly perfect, you could go to work in a pair of comfy cotton shorts and a nice t-shirt, but the world requires us to show respect to some unknown God Of Torture by wearing the business suit.

Hmm, I wonder if the real reason we wear suits is so we can stay awake at work? I suppose that might be it, wouldn't want someone so comfy that they would fall asleep at work, that's for sure.

Teachers Need To ZIP THE LIPS!!

Once again, teachers in Nebraska are doing the usual complaining that they don't make enough money, using the most common misleading and deceitful tactics in order to trick the public into believing the ignorant rhetoric that spills forth from their mouths like so much rattling of the empty can.

The economy stinks right now, I don't know what it's like for other states, but Nebraska is having a horrible time budget wise trying to make ends meet, everything is being slashed, from university funding to law enforcement, but that doesn't seem to matter to teachers. "We hold the nation's future in our hands, yet we make the same salary as an automobile mechanic" was what one teacher said recently.

WOAH, now hold on just a minute and lets do a little research about what she said right there. Now, this teacher and the auto mechanic both make a salary of $26,500 dollars a year, BUT.... something to consider in all of this, a teacher works 9 months of the year, where as, the auto mechanic works a full year to gain his salary. So, let's break this down into a more realistic comparison of the salaries of these two occupations.

Teacher: $26,500 for 9 months = $2944.44 dollars a month

Mechanic $26,500 for 12 months = $2208.33 a month

This teacher has a SUBSTANTIAL gain over the mechanic, based on the REAL numbers done mathematically. And, if you were to take the $2944.44 by 12, to figure out the actual salary of a teacher, the total comes to $35,333.28 for a year.

"Oh, now that's not fair" you say? Sorry, I don't have much sympathy in the way of teachers, they knew going into this profession that they were going to have that three months each year where they would not be working. "But a teacher has to work late at night to correct papers and get ready for the next days classes." So what?!?!?!? Do you know how many professions require those working them to be on the job, either at work or at home, working from home, for 60 to 80 hours a week? And let's face it, teaching isn't some horribly hard job, anyone who tries to say that it is SOOOOOOO terrible needs to spend some time working in a factory, or driving a cab, or doing some fast food, because any of those jobs and a thousand others are a damn site harder than being a teacher.

And, as far as the whole "holding the nation's future in our hands" statement, just what do you think happens when a mechanic works on a car, or a police officer directs traffic, etc? There are so many jobs that hold just as much importance as far as how they affect the future as a teacher's job does. Don't get me wrong, I respect very much what teachers do, however, I don't believe for an instant that they deserve more money, especially when the economy is doing so poorly.

The Smells Of Summer

As this time rolls around every year, I find myself taking deep breaths in and savoring the smells of summer, the fresh cut smell of grass and hay, the fragrant smell of blooming flowers and blossoms on trees, the light scent of chlorine that the wind will carry off of a swimming pool, so many smells that bring back so many memories. (of course, I've never had a car with any sort of reliable air conditioning, so I'm always accustomed to these smells haha) I love this time of year, it's my favorite. Growing up on the farm, every year at this time you realized the earth's promise of renewal, watching the barren land give way to life in the form of abundant crops. Swimming in the creek, riding my bicycle five miles into town just to buy a candybar and some soda, experiencing those smells right up front and in my face each and every day of my youth.

I suppose it's just another reminder of a more innocent time of life, each year, getting out of school, having that three months to go do whatever I wanted, as long as I was getting my chores done at the farm. How nice would it be if we were still able to have that three months off every year, to just be a kid again? I guess this is where I see the reason for needing to own my own business, whatever that business may be, in order to really enjoy life on my own terms. Ah, summer, what a beautiful thing.

Old Decrepit Pervert

I cannot help but be both amazed and disgusted by Hugh Hefner, owner of Playboy Enterprises. I shouldn't say amazed at him, more amazed at the people who associate themselves with him. The guy is like what, 90 years old now? And these blood sucking whore blondes who get airbrushed in his magazine hang out at that mansion with him and countless idiot airhead movie stars and sports stars who think you are in the 'in crowd' if you get into the Playboy Mansion.

I suppose the fact that if Hugh Hefner was not owner of Playboy he would be known as Hugh Hefner, retired municipal bus driver, but since he has all that money, it's okay for him to basically buy friends so they will hang around with his nasty wrinkled ass as he walks around in that ugly as sin silk robe that he wears all the time. Can you imagine what is underneath that thing?? EEEEEK, I shudder at the thought. And yah, the girls that marry him, oh, they are in it for him, not the money. Right, my white ass, it's all about the money, I mean, what would it be like lying in bed naked with that ugly, yellow toothed freak? GOD, GROSS!!! YUCK!! I mean, sure, I would never be in bed with any man, but for you ladies out there, you have to want to projectile vomit at the very thought of that nasty man naked.

Yes, I do thumb thru the occasional Playboy, that's how I got this idea, looking at the half naked women running around that mansion with half dead Hugh and all the stupid actors and sports celebrities. It would be nice just to have enough money to turn down an invitation to the Playboy mansion, but unfortunately, I can't buy my friends. No, wait a minute, that isn't unfortunate, that just lets me know who my real friends truly are. I can tell you this much, for all the money he has, Hugh Hefner still lies down in bed at night a lot lonelier than I am, because I know who my friends really are.

Walking Into The Sunset

This week, John Stockton, basketball player for the Utah Jazz NBA team, announced that he was going to retire after 19 years in the game, and Karl "The Mailman" Malone isn't sure what he will do yet, he is a free agent next year. Now, I don't really like the Utah Jazz, but anytime a player of sports who has played for most of my lifetime and developed a near 'icon-like' status, such as Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, or Magic Johnson did, you get sort of used to seeing them day after day during the season, like or not. When they retire, although inevitable, it's still sort of sad, the end of an era.

It seems like Wayne Gretzky of the NHL, Tom Osborne (coach of my beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers college football team), Michael Jordan (for the first time), Barry Sanders of the NFL, and some of the others, were retiring all within like just a couple of years, I remember sitting there the first day I heard Tom Osborne was going to retire, and feeling a wash of wide eyed shock about it. He was given the reigns to the Nebraska football program in 1972, the year I was born, I had never known another coach of the Huskers, I know it was going to be strange, to not see him on the sidelines in the fall of each passing year, something I was so accustomed to. These players and coaches are icons, we idolize them when we are young and grow to respect them even more as we get older. Certainly others come along to replace them.

I never really understood how anyone could say that Pete Marivich or Dr J. could be anywhere near as good as Michael Jordon, or that Muhammed Ali could ever be considered as good as Mike Tyson, until now, when my idols begin to disappear one by one. Those who enter the league to replace them, they may be better, but I don't want to let go of that magical feeling in my youth, a time when I would listen to the radio at night to hear highlights of what Mark McGuire was doing hitting home runs, or turning on the television to see a magical pass play by Joe Montana to Jerry Rice. It is a connection to a time when things weren't so stressful, when life was easier, when a boy could enjoy sports right alongside wasting time all day swimming and riding his bike with friends. Each time another one retires I start to feel older, a little more vulnerable.

Change is constant, and in such a high profile area such as sports, it is a reminder that our time on earth is short and precious, and to make the best of that time we have.

My Army PT Test Is Done!!

Well, I took the Army PT test this weekend, and I did well, met a couple of my goals and got close to my third goal.

Pushups: 100 in two minutes
Situps: 83 in two minutes
2 Mile Run: 11:57

I have no clue where I pulled 100 pushups out of. I did 60 in about the first 50 seconds, then rested for a bit, then began doing them in increments of 10. I got to 90 and starting thinking "wow, I could make 100" and from then on out it was just a push, one by one, to crest the century mark in pushups. I have never done that before, and it gave me a lot of hope about my situps. As it turns out I may have overdone the pushups because I got to 60 situps and I was really hurting. I cranked out as many after that as I could, but I can see I have work to do in the area of my situps if I want to reach 100 in 2 minutes.

The run was very painful, I overdid it just to break 12 minutes, my first mile time was 5:45 and from then on out it was just push push push to try and keep my pace going. I over-ate spaghetti at lunch, trying to load up carbs, and that hurt me. I will have to do a LOT of work yet in the run if I ever plan to get to 10:30 before the state army fitness challenge in August sometime.

Overall I was encouraged. I didn't like how hard I had to run to break 12 minutes, but I was surprised at how I was able to get 100 pushups. I'll work some on situps, and continue to press on with increasing my running ability, and hopefully in a couple months I'll be ready to really do well.

ALL ALONE!!!

Well, Deanna is gone for close to 5 days, on a trip for the place she works at. This means I'm all alone!!! I AM FRIGHTENED!!! Actually though, this is wierd, because for the past 3 months we haven't been apart for more than 2 days at a time, and that was me going to my military guard drills. I have drill this weekend so we won't actually see each other until Sunday night *YIKES*. I miss her right now though, I shall call her, tried once but no answer, she's probably out on the town having some fun, seeing the sites in Kansas City, and what not.

I'll try not to have a huge beer bash while she's away, it will be tough but I think I can abstain from such activity for the time being. Will the dishes pile up? Will trash overflow? How will fraNk feed himself? STAY TUNED!!! CLIFFHANGER OF THE YEAR!!! The new season of As fraNk's World Turns starts on Monday!!!

Working Out Makes Working Good!!

I've been working out for about a month now, really getting into it the last week or so, because I have a PT test this weekend. I talk to some of the guys at work about how I go running and such after work and I hear "oh, I'm too tired to do that" and so on.

What is interesting though, is how much better a person feels if they work out with any consistency at all. You feel better at work all day long just for working out.

My calves have been really killing me though, because I've been running 'sets'. Sets are a 'set' distance and you run that distance like 6 times, and walk a little between each run. I am up to about a half mile now I think, and at the end of my sets, I sprint the back side of the dam 3 times, wow, my calves just scream the next day.

Hopefully all this work will do me good for this weekend's PT test. I am ready for the situps, the pushups are still a little iffy, as is the run, but I will do well.

TV Shows, Some Great, Some Terrible

I watch TV sometimes, and over the years there are several shows that I have really enjoyed, but there are also several shows that make me cringe with horror when I see them.

The shows that I have liked go as follows, chronologically listed based on when the show started, not by what show is better:

1) Hogan's Heros

What's To Like?

A bunch of crafty WW2 American prisoners of war, held by blundering idiots who run a pow camp in Germany, crawling around in tunnels and doing secret missions to help the Allies.

What's Not So Good?

Not all that believable at all, no one is as stupid as Colonel Klink, but still, with fun little missions going on in every show, it was always a good time to watch it.

2) M*A*S*H

What's To Like?

Plenty with MASH, a miriad of characters to choose from, from Hawkeye Pierce and his laid back fun time humor to Frank Burns and his over patriotic stupidity. As I got older, my time in the military allowed me to appreciate this show even more.

What's Not So Good?

I can't really watch it as much as I used to, sometimes the humor is downright childish. But mostly it's good fun.

3) Dukes Of Hazard

What's To Like?

I LOVED this show when I was little, it was the best, fast cars, police chases, crazy characters such as Roscoe P Coaltrain and Boss Hog, and wow, Daisy Duke with those jean shorts (although at the time I didn't pay attention to that much, I was too little).

What's Not So Good?

I try watching it nowadays, and it's just plain bad, you notice that were probably only about 3 jumps total ever done for the show, the footage is just added into every episode, the plots are terrible too. But in the day, as a kid, you didn't care, you just liked all the crazy car chases.

4) Airwolf

What's To Like?

Stringfellow Hawk was the lead character's name, he would go around getting his butt kicked all show long, and then at the very end show up in his mach 3 super attack helicopter called "AirWolf" and kick the holy shit out of everyone, it was awesome!!! Always on his tail were both the US government and the company that created AirWolf, although the company, represented by a man who dressed all in white with an eyepatch, never seemed all too concerned about going after the helicopter as long as Stringellow did the missions they wanted him to.

What's Not So Good?

The show centered around Stringfellow's quest to find his long lost brother, Sinjin Hawk. Belarus sold the rights to a new company took over production of Airwolf and got rid of all the actors and brought in terrible ones. The new helicopter pilot? Sinjin Hawk, how quaint, he was found, they never even showed the old actors doing a transition, the excuse? Stringfellow died. Too bad all the new actors were terrible. The show didn't even last more than 4 or 5 episodes after that.

5) Saturday Night Live

What's To Like?

TONS of incredible actors have come from this show, from the days of Eddie Murphy and Bill Murray, on to Dana Carvey and Phil Hartman, to Chris Farley and David Spade. A live skit show that makes you laugh and laugh, with guest stars ranging from huge movie stars to politicians.

What's Not So Good?

The show is really terrible now, ever since Phil Hartman left, the writing and skit ideas have been terrible, this probably has a lot to do with NBC having too much creative control over what goes on with SNL now and the show not being able to be so raw and nasty as it used to be. Another not so good thing is how many wonderful talented actors from this show have died young over the years.

6) Sienfeld

What's To Like?

This is my favorite show of all time, to be quite truthful, quarky, witty, there was no real basic plot week by week, the show just followed the strange yet hilarious exploits of 4 friends and their adventures around New York City.

What's Not To Like?

They quit TOO STINKING EARLY!!! And the series finale was really really horrible, they need to have a comeback show, a 2 hour fun movie, with all of them, and Newman, and Kryger, and Mr Peterman, and others.

Here's the shows I really did not like at all, I put these in order, Most Hated up top:

1) Touched By An Angel

What's To Like?

NOTHING, and I mean absolutely nothing

What's Not So Good?

EVERYTHING, it's all bad. The lead actress and her miserable blithering bothersome interference somehow always seems to save some poor begotten soul who has strayed from the path of good and always sees the err of his ways by the end of the show, thanks to the annoying angels. This show makes me want to projectile vomit, then run to my balcony and jump to my death. Well, I'd probably live, but with a broken leg or back or something. Then the angels would show up and save me and I'd want to stab myself.

2) The Other Half

What's To Like?

Not much, this show tries to be the male equivalent of The View, and it does even better at being terrible. Mario from Saved By The Bell, Dick Clark, drunken freak Danny Bonaduce, and some no name hunk of a guy, with an audience full of women, presumably to make the hosts feel like they are attractive or something, which they aren't.

What's Not So Good?

I don't know anyone who likes this show, it's completely pathetic, and it's sad really because Dick Clark looks like a has been when he hangs around with Bonadufus and Mario, I even feel bad for the no name guy, because his name won't get any more reknowned being on this show, that is for sure. Four poor idiotic men who sit around and talk about women's problems and even try feminine clothing and products on, just to get stupid laughs from the studio crowd, YUCK!!!

3) Murder She Wrote

What's To Like?

I suppose a person could really stretch and say this is a dramatic detective show, and get some enjoyment out of an 80 year old geriatric woman chasing down hoodlums.

What's Not So Good

It's an 80 year old geriatric woman chasing down hoodlums, that's bad, Angela Landsbury is about as believable as a detective as Charles Manson would be playing the Pope. This show actually makes me want to support assisted suicide.

4) The Nanny

What's To Like?

I suppose you could say Fran Dreschler is cute?

What's Not So Good

She may be cute, but then she opens her mouth and you are so completely annoyed that you want to pull out a shotgun and shoot the television.

5) The View

What's To Like?

4 well known women get together to discuss current events, along with a famous guest host.

What's Not So Good?

This show constantly degerates into a plethora of man bashing behavior, not to mention a man could grow a vagina just watching an episode of the View.

6) Highway to Heaven

What's To Like?

Michael Landon tried to do a spin off of sorts from Little House On The Prairie, this show was the prequel to Touched By The Devil.. err, An Angel, I mean. Landon was an angel that tried to help people out.

What's Not So Good?

Pretty much the same problem that Touched By an Angel is facing now, crappy feel good plots that have unrealistic feel good endings, and are so pathetically boring you pray for death.

There are other shows out there that I like and dislike, but this should give you an idea of some of my favorites and most hated.

Shopping At Sam's Club = FUN!!!

My goodness did we have a great time at Sam's Club shopping for bulk products. Here is a list of what we purchased:

20 lb tub of butter
5 gallon pail of Jack Daniel's whiskey
1000 packs of Juicy Fruit gum, shrink wrapped in a 3' by 3' square
25 lb bag of unsweetened grape Koolaid
10 lb shaker of garlic powder
5000 Vitamin D pills in a bottle
Ten 50 lb bags of doritos
30 gallon drum of Pace medium picante sauce (I love chips and dip)

As you can see we made several very wise decisions in our purchasing choices, we got some truly amazing stuff!!!

The Lights Are On But No One's Home

Easter night, we wanted to go get ourselves a sandwich from Subway, well, I did, and Deanna was going to have Subway for dinner because that's what I wanted (don't fret, feminists, she actually likes when I choose where to eat). There are two Subway's withing proximity to where we live, one about a mile south, and one about 3 miles north. We went south, I saw the big Subway sign was all lit up, they were closed. So we went north, the big Subway sign was also lit up, they were closed. We drove past Little King, sign lit up, store closed. Valentino's pizza, sign lit up, store closed.

Now, I understand it is Easter and all, it's not the fact that they are closed that I have a problem with, it's the idea that they LEAVE THE FREAKING BIG SIGN ON SO FROM A MILE AWAY, HUNGER REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD WITHIN ME AND I LOOK FORWARD TO EATING A PARTICULAR TYPE OF FOOD ONLY TO HAVE MY GOURMET DREAMS SHATTERED BY THE FAUX SECURITY OF AN OPEN WARM INVITING RESTAURANT!!! Whew, sorry about getting all worked up, but you have to understand, I wanted Subway, badly. Thankfully, Burger King opened his royal arms and took us in without question, cuddling our hunger as only broiled beef can.

I won't even go into what went on at McDonald's Saturday, waiting for 20 freaking McNugget's and a large fry. All in all I would say the weekend finished as follows:

Fast Food - 2
Me - 0

I'll get 'em next time!!!

Someone I Love

Sometimes in life I think everyone has moments where they are completely overtaken by feelings, be those feelings bewilderment, confusion, anger, elation, even love. These emotions seem to become intertwined with situations that could be seen as either lucky, or unlucky. Sometimes the feelings overlap one another, such as when you feel so completely and incredibly lucky to find someone who compliments you in so many ways, someone who loves you unconditionally and whom you can also love just the same, no strings, nothing to hide.

I have found that, a person with whom I can see myself for the rest of my life. Deanna is the most wonderful girl I have ever known, I sometimes will look over at her and wonder how someone so incredibly beautiful could ever be attracted to someone like myself, but I try not to dwell on that too much, more so to thank God that she is in my life, because I really can't imagine my life without her. I can remember the first time I ever saw her, around 5 years ago now, and how I thought she was so beautiful, and also thought to myself how no one like that could ever be interested in someone like me. Her amazing smile, deep dark eyes, the way she looks at me, I find myself holding my breath when I stare into her eyes, just trying to hear her breathe.

I won't ever expect everything to always be wonderful, life has already hit us pretty hard the last few months, over and over trying to knock us off our feet, but I know that as long as we have one another, everything will be okay. It's not money that I care about, it's not material possessions (although a fast little sports car and a nice house all paid for wouldn't be too bad), as long as I have her, I feel so complete, as though I can get past the deepest most painful things in my life just knowing how much I love her and how she feels the same for me. I'm in no way a perfect guy, but my better half makes up for that in so many ways, I don't know if she realizes how much I appreciate her, but I do, so very much, I love her with all my heart and soul, and nothing can change that.

Spend The Day With Me As I Beat Your Ass!!

I got a kick out of this when I read it:

Jose Canseco Offers His Company For Your Cash

Considering that he has gotten himself into hot water all the time over the years for his hot temper, I don't think spending time with him would be my idea of fun, I would probably say something and make him mad and get my head bashed in with a baseball bat. One thing that doesn't make sense here is this:

"Canseco will provide roundtrip limousine service from the airport, but overnight accommodations and airfare aren't included. The highest bidder can bring along a guest who's younger than 18 at no extra cost."

Is this about money or what? If he can afford to provide limousine service, I can't understand how he could actually need money from this little stunt. And hey, I like the idea of bringing someone younger than 18 along with you. Hey, beat up my kid too, alright!!!

Let's Play Some 'Pong'!!

When you walk thru an electronics store such as Best Buy nowadays, you will find three main video game systems, Playstation II, Nintendo GameCube, and Microsoft XBox. Then there are the older games, the PSOne, Nintendo 64, Sega, etc. When I started college though, there was only one game system out that was really popular, the 16 bit Nintendo Entertainment System.

Our dorms didn't have cable television, the first year I was there was the first year they even had telephones in the rooms. Those who did bring in televisions with an indoor antennae got one good station, along with 2, sometimes 3 fuzzy stations. If you were really ritzy you had a VCR, about 75% of us did. But even then there were only so many tapes going around to watch. So usually people would end up buying a Nintendo in order to have some other form of entertainment. Because of this, you got to know a lot of people in the dorm, without cable television we would go around room to room and play video games, a LOT.

Because everyone had the same video gaming system, there was always an abundance of games going around. People would usually write their name on the back of the game cartridge in giant black permanent marker, but even that didn't stop the games from disappearing from time to time. Then usually at the end of the year, someone would bring your game back, "sorry, it was under my couch" or something like that, but sometimes you never saw it again.

The biggest game of all when I was in college had to be Super Tecmo Bowl. This was Nintendo's NFL football game, and it was a blast. In a college dorm, having this game meant instantly that your room was going to be party central. You would go around and ask everyone if they wanted to play in a season, and what team they wanted to be, then you would get the season started, the most I ever saw in a season was 16 different people playing. The seasons were set up 16 weeks long, and the games HAD to be played in order. So if it was 4 in the morning and time to play your game, you would either drag your ass out of bed and play, or they would skip you. Same goes for if you had class, the football game had precedence over school, it was much more important.

It was rare that a season of Tecmo would ever make it all the way till the end. First off, the Nintendo was problematic, tending to erase the season for no reason, and it didn't help when people would get pissed off and throw the controllers and such, causing the game to bounce around. Other times, people would just reset the season when no one was around with the hope of doing better next time. Usually only about 5 or 6 people were left entering the playoffs, most often everyone else would quit the season by the time the playoffs rolled around.

The playoffs, though, were a big deal. People would actually schedule times for their playoff games so that everyone could come watch. And wow would emotions run high, people cussing and screaming at one another, even at 3 in the morning, and some real nasty grudges would develop because of the game, one in fact that caused a guy to leave school for a semester (he says that wasn't the reason but nothing else made sense).

A couple of years later though, the other gamings systems sort of took over, and things were never quite the same. I mean, playing Twisted Metal II was awesome and all, but never did we have that bond of friendship with so many people like we did when we were playing Super Tecmo Bowl, or even Tetris and Dr. Mario. With more games and variety it became harder to be good at every game, I suppose that is good in the long run, but people didn't hang out together near as much. That could be because the dorms got cable television too.

Oh well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted, that is for sure, nothing could beat a 3 in the morning football game in your boxer shorts.

A Great Job Interview

There are certain key points to making a job interview into a great performance, here are some of them:

Wear the absolute dirtiest clothes you have, preferably ratty, with hole everywhere. Nothing impresses an interviewer more than someone who wears an outfit with no professional value at all. This will let them know that material things aren't important to you.

Show up at least an hour late for your interview, perhaps even a day late. This lets the interviewer know who is in charge, that you aren't going to submit to anyone else's wishes. It shows you are a 'take charge' type of person, companies like that these days.

Have several beers and some hard liquor before the interview. It will help take the edge off. The more alcohol the better. If you need to, take a bottle of liquor into the interview with you. Bring whiskey, and don't be afraid to share. Usually the interviewer will enjoy a drink with you, hey, he's stressed too you know.

Negotiate a hard bargain about absolutely every aspect of the job. Lunch is an hour long? "Come on, how about an hour and a half?" Salary only $70,000 a year? "You know I'm worth twice that, buddy!!" Let them know that you have negotiating skills, companies are looking for that in prospective employees.

Bring several friends to the interview. Have one carry a video camera, always pointed at the interviewer. Have another carry a cassette recorder, and another a briefcase. Tell them you are on an MTV reality show. Companies love publicity, especially from a quality network like MTV.

Tell the interviewer a list of amazing medical conditions from which you suffer. You are narcoleptic with tourette's syndrome, so while driving you suddenly fall asleep AND start yelling obscenities "HORSE PENIS HORSE PENIS, DICK LICKARENA!!!!". You have a narcissistic rage condition. You think highly of yourself, angrily. "GOD DAMN YOU ALL I AM SEXY, LOOK AT ME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES I AM THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!!!" as you beat up your co workers. Remember, companies look to hire those with disabilities, it makes the company look better to the public.

Ask suspicious questions continually, throughout the interview. "So, can a person bring a gerbil to work with them, I mean, as long as it's hidden?" or "When you have drug tests, just how long does it takes something minor to get out of your system, like... let's say for instance... LSD or heroin?" or "I wouldn't run into any cops or law enforcement people while working here would I?" This keeps the interviewer guessing about you, it's good to be mysterious, the unknown is a little tapped resource in job hunting.

Make up completely ridiculous stories about previous work places. Talk about how you had sex with the bosses spouse, and about how much money you stole from petty cash. Spin a good yarn about how one time, you "borrowed" the company vehicle over the weekend and drove it to Tijuana, Mexico with 4 buddies and got completely drunk and lost the vehicle, then had to hitchhike back into the United States on a Tequiza beer delivery truck. Employers like to know that the person they are hiring can bring excitement to the work place.

One final key to a successful interview. Just as soon as it is over, shake the interviewer's hand, then run as fast as you can outside, jump into your car, and lay rubber thru the parking lot as you leave, cutting off any other driver who might get in your way. This lets the company know that you have other places to be, and also that you aren't afraid to do what it takes to show up to work on time. This is especially good when trying to get a job as a delivery driver.

Hopefully, you can have a successful interview with the points I have provided you with today.

Saving Private Ryan, A Must See

I remember when the movie, Saving Private Ryan, first came out. There was a lot of buzz about how graphic the movie was, the realism and all. Steven Spielberg directed the movie, so of course, unsuspecting parents took their children to the movie expecting a light hearted 'E.T.' sort of feature, and instead were greeted with the most intensely grisly images of hellish war footage ever remade. And of course, then the complaints started rolling in, about how 'terrible' and 'overly violent in nature' the movie was. Some people even boycotted theaters showing the movie, due to it's intense depiction of war injuries.

Thankfully, World War II veterans spoke up in large numbers about the film, backing what the movie depicted. Many of them that spoke up talked about how we as a nation seem to have forgotten just how much was given in terms of suffering, tragedy, and human life, to bring about this great nation that we have today, and how a film like this can remind us how fragile freedom really is, and how much blood was sacrificed to make this country great. Perhaps instead of gasping at the idea that your children might see some bloodshed, perhaps you should rejoice in the fact that they will have a better idea of just how terrible a price is price is paid to insure the freedom for the people of our country to do whatever they want, even if that freedom involves protesting what the government is doing.

I watched the television today, the images from Baghdad, the jubilant Iraqi people who have been oppressed for so long, and it was a wonderful sight. I can only hope that in time, the same democratic representation and freedoms that we have come to take for granted, can work into place in Iraq, not just for their sake, but for the sake of that region, and for the world.

Lifetime, Television For Disgruntled Man Hating Women

On the cable network where I live, as you click up the channels, you find TBS, then TNT, then Lifetime, then ESPN, then ESPN2. I wonder, is this some sort of cruel joke? Put the Lifetime channel between two networks that play tons of action movies and the sports news channels? So as I click back and forth from NBA slam dunks and Bruce Willis shooting up terrorists, I get to see Meredith Baxter (formerly the mother from family ties) screaming obscenities at a man who killed her son in a drunk driving accident.

Just for shits and giggles, I went and looked at the titles for some of Lifetime's movies, here is a list and a brief description of a bunch:

A DANGEROUS AFFAIR

"After breaking off a rather torrid affair with a man, a government executive must go on the run when the man begins stalking her."
Oh NOOO, the evil man, he is after her, run run run!! EVIL!!!

A DEADLY SILENCE

"A teenage girl is trapped in an incestuous relationship with her father. Driven by the fear that he might molest her younger sister, she hires a schoolmate to kill him."
KILL HIM, and if you can't, hire someone else to kill the evil man!!! THEN RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! This one had sally struthers in it, i guess she had some time away from getting food for starving kids or something.

A KISS SO DEADLY

"A bizarre love triangle develops when a father becomes infatuated with his daughter's flirtatious roommate. Eventually, he is forced to break off the affair, but his infatuation turns deadly when he begins to stalk her." EVIL STALKING BASTARD!!! MEN, what are they thinking these days???

A LOSS OF INNOCENCE

"A battered wife and mother attempts to escape from an irrational and violent husband. His homicidal rage intensifies, and he holds her hostage."
BASTARD SON OF A BITCH!! MEN: hellspawned from satan!!!

A MOTHER'S JUSTICE

"A mother embarks on a quest for vengeance when police are unable to find enough evidence to convict her daughter's rapist."
Another Meredith Baxter movie, modern day champion fighting evil men everywhere!!!

A MOTHER'S REVENGE

"After her daughter is raped and physically abused by a school janitor, a mother's quest for justice culminates in a courtroom shoot-out. But the rapist is freed on a legal technicality, prompting the mother to take matters into her own hands. Unfortunately, her vigilantism leads to another trial in which she faces murder charges."
You can pretty much surmise that if the title has the word "mother" in it, there is bound to be justice sought against some evil man somewhere.

A MOTHER'S RIGHT: THE ELIZABETH MORGAN STORY

"A woman is jailed for refusing to reveal the location of her daughter, the daughter was molested by her ex-husband."
EVIL SELF SERVING BASTARD MEN!!! WHY, WHY??? DEAR GOD WHY???



ABANDONED AND DECEIVED

"A beleaguered Ohio woman struggles in court against her child's deadbeat dad. This true story has since affected current child support laws."
DEADBEAT SOB!! I do like the title though, you immediately know that some satanic hate mongrel man is involved!!!

ANGEL OF DEATH

"A psychotic escapes from prison to pursue a stunning woman and her 6 year old son. After charming his way into their lives, he becomes overprotective destroying anything or anyone that threatens to break this newfound family bliss." PSYCHOTIC FREAK MAN RUINS EVERYTHING!!! All men are psychotic though, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES... AGAIN!!!

ARMED AND INNOCENT

"Based on a true story. A boy shoots and kills two burglars in his home while his parents are away. Afterward, he is terrorized by the brother of one of the thieves."
TWO EVIL MEN DEAD, ONE EVIL REMAINS!! Only why didn't they make it a girl who kills two burglars? This is Lifetime television, what a huge glaring error, making a male look good? geesh!!!

I imagine a lot of people like Lifetime, and yes, I did skip over a few movies that were less man hating than the ones you see above, but something to think about, this list included only movies listed under the letter 'A', this means that there are a seemingly endless supply of man bashing male hating movies to choose from!!! Ah, Lifetime, could watching movies about horrible men be any more rewarding?

Guitar Rock Kills Infants!!!

As with any larger metropolitan city in the United States, Omaha has a large variety of radio stations to listen to. I listen to a lot of different kinds. I prefer guitar rock, from Led Zeppelin and Van Halen to Creed and Godsmack. I also listen to the top 40 stations, the 'lite 96' station that plays slow songs, and even the R&B stations from time to time.

Now, Saturday morning I was up very early and out in my car, and listening to the hard rock/alternative station in Omaha, when I hear this come on the radio:

Baby can be heard crying...

Man's voice, angry: "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND QUIT CRYING??? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO??? SHAKE IT OUT OF YOU???"

Woman's voice, caring, compassionate: "OH NO, you can't do that, give her to me, *you hear baby gurgling* there there..."

Then the commercial goes into talking about "Shaken Baby Syndrome", which is when a baby is shaken so hard that the brain smashes side to side, causing brain damage, paralysis, even death.

then, a really touching gesture, at the end, woman's voice: "There there now, everything will be okay now"

My first problem with this commercial is the completely blatant sexist tone that it takes, you are left with the idea that men are baby hating bastards, and that the woman has to rush in and protect the baby from the evil man. This is how the commercial should have been done:

Man's voice, annoyed: "Why won't she quit crying, this is so frustrating!!"

Woman's voice: "Honey, remember, she can't help it, she's just a baby"

Man's voice, more subdued and calm: "I know, you are right, I need to always remember that and have more patience with her"

Then go into the Shaken Baby Syndrome information and talk about ways of prevention. As you can see here, no one is made to look like the evil person. It's almost as though whoever made the first commercial went out of their way to completely alienate the man and make him look like some sort of raging moron.

The second problem I have with this commercial is the target audience. I listen to the light rock station, I listen to the top 40 station, and even the R&B station... at no time on any of them do I hear this commercial. But I turn on the classic rock and modern alternative rock stations, and I hear that commercial during about half the commercial breaks. What does this mean? Does this mean I put in my Guns N Roses CD, turn it up, and proceed to the nearest baby to shake the crap out of him/her? Seems to me that is what they are trying to imply. I'm driving down the road, listening to Linkin Park, and I spot a woman pushing her baby in a stroller, I hit the brakes so hard that the car SQUEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLLLS to a stop, jump out, grab her baby, shake the baby as hard as I can, drop the baby on the ground, then jump back into my car and tear off again, listening to the radio as loud as it will go.

Now, although I listen to my radio very loudly sometimes, that is about the only truth you will find in what I just said. I wonder what particular research brought up that males who listen to hard rock music are more prone to shake babies, if there is some sort of undeniable link, someone should send me the information or provide me a link so I can read about it because it really sounds like a lot of bullarky to me. Just for an information purpose, in my hometown of 6,500 people, 2 babies died last year from being shaken, and women were charged in both the incidents. This doesn't mean women are more prone to doing it either, but to make this an issue based on the sex of the abuser is wrong and someone should have used a little foresight before making the commercial.

Army Fitness

The military has pretty stringent standards for physical fitness, and requires periodical "PT Tests" to maintain those standards. The Physical Fitness Test consists of the following:

Do as many pushups as you can in 2 minutes.

Do as many situps as you can in 2 minutes.

Run the 2 mile as quickly as you can.

Now, a lot of people read this and think to themselves "hey, that doesn't look that hard?" It's much harder than you think. The minimum standards for the pushup phase of the test is 42 in 2 minutes. It's 52 situps in 2 minutes. I'm not really sure what the minimum standards for the 2 mile are, I think something around 16 minutes but I really haven't ever been close to failing that.

When I first went to basic training in Ft. Benning, you were supposed to do 15 pushups at reception station to move on to your basic training platoon. I did 12. When I heard that the standards were 42 for minimum, I was completely lost, I thought I would never be able to do that. One of my drill sergeants took me in one day and gave me a daily plan I needed to follow to better myself at my pushups. He told me I needed to be in the "front lean and rest position" (the push up position) for ten minutes on any night we spent in the barracks, and that every minute I had to do 10 pushups. I did that, and was able to finally pass on the final pt test, the one that gets graded, I did 52 pushups. I was so happy.

My situps were great, I was able to do the 'max' amount, 92 situps, in 2 minutes, the entire time I was at basic training. My run on the other hand got slower and slower the entire three months I spent at basic training. I started out running an 11:30 and I finished with an 11:47, not too much off of my first run but enough to annoy me, I got worse instead of better. That was normal though, faster guys wouldn't have a way of really training the run at their own pace, we almost always ran in formation and that didn't help me train. When I got back to Nebraska for my senior year of high school I was in really good physical shape overall but my running needed work, and cross country had already started, so I had to run in the junior varsity race like 3 days after I got back in order to earn my varsity spot back on the team, because I had missed try outs. I finished 2nd in the JV race, to another kid who would normally be running varsity for his team but he had to earn a spot too. He and I finished so far ahead of the rest of the JV runners, it was crazy, but anyways, back to military stuff.

I had my senior year to go thru in high school when I got back, and during that year I did a lot of weight lifting over the winter and conditioned my upper body up thru pushups and situps. So I really worked hard on the pushups and was able to max them at the first pt test I took after basics. I've been in thirteen years now and I've maxed the pt test every year since I've been in since basic training. Oddly enough, as time has gone by, pushups are easier and the situps have gotten harder. I guess that's just age affecting me.

I'm the Physical Training NCO in the Wayne army guard unit. This means I'm responsible for keeping the soldiers motivated about remaining physically fit, and also for coming up with programs designed to help those who are having difficulties achieving minimum standards on the pt test. Our unit is supposed to do two pt tests a year, one diagnostic, to see where we are at, and one for record, that actually gets put into our permanent records. We are also supposed to give 3 months warning before a pt test and try to have it roughly the same months year after year. Lately this seems to be getting really lax and that's bad news. Now, we are supposed to always be able to pass a pt test, but it's nice to have warning before hand so that you can work out a little more and get a higher score.

Right now I'm at about 195 lbs, I need to lose 15 lbs and get down to 180 by the next drill for that PT Test, and hopefully this summer lose between 5 and 10 more and get ready for a couple of military competitions, the first being the Nebraska Army National Guard Fitness Challenge in Ashland Nebraska, and the second being the German Armed Forces Fitness Exchange Tournament, in Camp Dodge, Iowa. I want to do 100 pushups in two minutes, 100 situps in two minutes, and the two mile in 10:30. This will take a lot of work over the next few months, that much I know.

I enjoy running though, and that is always a plus. Hey, I'm only young once, I need to try to do these things now when I still can. Most of the people my age are already well beyond the ability to get back into shape enough to try something like this, I don't want to end up that way.

The Osbournes? YIKES!!!

Okay, I have heard quite often about the Osbournes having a show of their own on MTV, and I scoffed at the notion that anyone could fill up a weekly half hour time slot with family interaction. With that in mind I never really watched the show. Well, lately, I have actually seen it a few times, and geesh, it's freaking addictive. I would assume that Ozzy himself has been declared legally dead at least half a dozen times over the course of his body polluting, drug and alcohol abusing life. Don't get me wrong, I do respect him for even being alive, and I love his music, the No More Tears album is very good, but watching him walk around on the show, he looks absolutely geriatric.

Sharon is hilarious, although she needs to kick the crap out of her daughter. Kelly Osbourne is a spoiled rotten little brat that needs to have her ass beat. I guess I'm a firm believer in the use of the spanking, and something tells me that Kelly didn't get NEAR enough of that. She complains about getting drunk, and for what? She's 17!!! She shouldn't even BE drinking, instead she's going about talking about how she's the "worst drunk ever" as though she's had a vast experience of drunken occasions with which to make this distinction. Hell, who knows, maybe she has. How as a parent does Ozzy tell his kids NOT to drink or do drugs when he has been blitzed or shitfaced off of probably about every drug known to man, and some not known? I guess it's the old adage, do as I say not as I do.

Then to see them all sitting around the table eating dinner, and the discussions they have with one another, be it nudity, masturbation, drinking, drugs, etc, anything taboo makes it to the dinner table to be discussed in front of steak and cans of pepsi. Sounds like home? Yah, doesn't to me either, but it is hard to turn the crap off, that is for sure.

I don't watch it week after week, just if I happen to catch it online is all. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't be able to handle all those little itty bitty horrible dogs. I like bigger dogs, and 'yap dogs' really annoy the crap out of me. It would be hard to avoid booting them like a football, I mean that in the most loving sense though, hehehe. Anyways, I'm getting off the topic here. I don't know if it's subliminal messages or what that keeps me watching that show, but non the less when it's on I tend to sit there open mouthed disbelieving what I'm seeing, that anyone could live so dysfunctionally and still stay together. I guess that's the key, when you've been thru THAT much, anything that you hear, regardless of how bizarre, becomes a drop in the bucket.

It sure makes for some wierd tv watching though, that's for sure.

Friendly Fire

Listening to the news today, I heard more about possible deadly accidents being attributed to 'friendly fire' in Iraq. Friendly fire is when you are engaged in combat by your own troops, or vice versa. I had to just shake my head though when I listened to the reporter's idiotic comments about friendly fire, as though it is a completely avoidable risk and our troops are just being a bunch of morons out there killing one another.

Let's get a few things straight about 'friendly fire'. First off, there has always been friendly fire in wars. Thankfully, as technology has moved along and brought about better weapons and battlefield tools, the number of casualties due to friendly fire has also gone down. Now, technology advancing has also brought along easier methods for determining death and injury due to friendly fire. This is a double edged sword. Although determining casualties due to friendly fire is a tremendous asset and learning tool for the military to use in determining battlefield tactics, it also paints this broad picture of the military as being prone to blundering stupidity. This is just not true.

Battlefields throughout time have been graphic, fast paced, and tremendously confusing. This is especially so during modern warfare. Although methods of determining friend or foe are as advanced as ever, the speed at which things move on the battlefield has also become astronomically fast. A patriot missile battery operator may have only 5 to 10 seconds to determine if an incoming 'blip' on the radar is an enemy missile or a friendly plane flying in at high speed. The marines use an amphibious armored personnel carrier called the LAV-25 that looks remarkably like a soviet block armored personnel carrier, so much so that there have been at least 2 cases I know of where AH-64 Apache attack helicopters or A-10 Warthog attack planes have destroyed them, creating more friendly casualties.

But even with all of this going on, one needs to realize that there are far less friendly fire casualties today than ever before. I spoke to a relative who told me that in the Pacific theater, during World War II, if a new lieutenant was not listening to his sergeants and getting lots of people in the platoon killed, someone would take the lieutenant out on a hill to 'recon' something, and a sniper in his own platoon would shoot him. For obvious reasons I won't say who this relative is, but things like that were a lot more common during WW2 than most people would believe, and probably even during later wars.

To change the topic just a bit here, something I hope a lot of people understand... when American troops begin door to door combat withing the cities of Iraq, otherwise known as MOUT warfare (Military Operations, Urban Terrain), there are going to be a LOT of casualties. I don't like it, but that's just how it is. Don't be surprised if the death-toll for United States military personnel ends up around 1000 or higher, that's just an indicator of how incredibly dangerous MOUT warfare is. My only hope is that somehow, the people in Iraq will realize that things can be better with Saddam gone, and embrace the freedom that the United States wants them to have. If not, it's going to be a long drawn out affair within the cities.

NO JELLO FOR THE TROOPS!!!

I try hard to avoid being stereotypical about any group of people, be it based on sex, race, creed, sexual orientation, etc, but sometimes it's really hard when I'm looking at something and I just shake my head at the utter nonsense of it all.

Today I was looking over what cannot be sent to American troops in the middle east, the list of prohibited items sometimes makes sense, sometimes you scratch your head a little, and other times you sit in bewilderment at the nonsense you see before you.

I have provided here a list of items that are prohibited for shipping into Arabic countries:

Money or precious metals: not that there is a McDonalds to spend 20 american dollars at in the middle east, but this still seems crazy.

Mail addressed to 'any soldier' or 'any serviceman', etc: not really sure why this isn't allowed, perhaps to avoid anthrax letters? who knows.

Obscene articles, movies, paintings, and horror comics: can't have our servicemen looking at a playboy before going out to war!!! I suppose any comic would be considered a horror comic in the middle east. "OH NO, Batman the Horrible!!!"

Any mail containing anything contrary to the islamic faith: yah, imagine that, for a faith that claims continually to be persecuted by all other religions, they certainly do their best to destroy anyone who thinks differently than they do about religion.

Firearms of any type are prohibited: this is worldwide actually, but it's still too bad, I was going to send out some nice weapons to all the people I know over there, you know, cuz they don't have enough guns as it is? MMMkay?

Pork or pork by-products: oh no, no jello for the troops, no sausage or bacon for breakfast!! Does this mean no football too? You would think so, wouldn't want someone tossing the 'pigskin' around the dessert now would you?

Fruits, animals, or living plants: dang, I wanted to send a cat to a friend of mine, now I can't. So much for the oak tree too.

All alcoholic beverages: I can't imagine what this is like, drinking is as much a part of the military as shooting the enemy a few dozen times.

Materials used in the production of alcohol: "Look, I swear the yeast was for making some yummy bread, okay?"

There were some other ones, but they were usually related to the size of the object or other meaningless things. I guess I can't send my sister that keg of beer and the roasted suckling hog she wanted to have, she will just have to get by on some O'douls non alcoholic beer and some turkey ham.

World's Biggest Jigsaw Puzzle

During the last 7 years or so I've developed a real interest in working on cars. I purchased a 1989 Chrysler Lebaron Convertible in 1996 that became Car Care 101 class for me because of all the problems that the car had. I put two engines in the car and also replaced the transmission. I replaced the shocks and struts, fuel pump, map sensor, oxygen sensor, and many other things.

Right around the same time, my father discovered the Omaha police auction, and I discovered the Salvation Army auto auction. Every saturday my dad goes to the police auction and once a month I they have the Salvation Army auction and I try to go to that. We buy 1985 to 1994 Chrysler, Dodge, and Plymouth 4 cylinder and 6 cylinder cars and rebuild them for sale, and sometimes keep them ourselves. That is where my last two cars have come from, a 1987 Plymouth Sundance Turbo and a 1991 Dodge Shelby Daytona IROC.

I have replaced around 35 to 40 4-cylinder 2.2 and 2.5 engines by my estimation, on all sorts of Chrysler cars, from Horizons to Acclaims. I'm working on my first V-6 right now, a 3.0 liter engine for a friend. Since it's my first time working on one of those I have been taking it slow so I learn what I'm doing and don't mess anything up. The engine is out of a 1993 Dodge Caravan and it's going into a 1991 4 door Lebaron.

A dream I've had for some time now is to find a 1991 Dodge Spirit RT or Daytona RT. Then in October my dad got a phone call from the local tow shop, of all places, who informed him that they had towed in a wrecked Spirit RT and wondered if we were interested in it. Of course, we jumped right on that. The car is in horrible shape, the driver fell asleep at the wheel and drove off the interstate and hit a fence post, so the frame is all bent, the car is unrepairable for all practical purposes.

But what I wanted out of the car is the engine, a DOHC intercooled turbo motor. It's got the basic 2.5 4 cylinder block, but the head is built by Lotus, and is different from any other Chrysler motor of that era. It puts out 230 horsepower and the car could beat a Mustang 5.0 in 0-60 and the quarter mile, something not many people knew about. I want to drop that motor into a 1991 Dodge Shadow, my friend's girlfriend had one but it appears she sold her Shadow to her parents, I'll have to make them an offer for it, maybe repair another car and trade them or something. Basically the Shadow weighs a good 1000 lbs less the Spirit does, you do the math, more horsepower, way less weight, that car would be a screamer, lots of fun.

Someone in St. Louis has already created a car similiar, a 1987 Dodge Shadow with an R/T motor in it, and he gets 12 second quarter mile times, that is amazing. Basically what he has done gives me somewhat of a blueprint for getting to work on my vehicle.

Anyways, that's just a little glimpse into a big hobby of mine. If you want, you can see my car pictures where I was doing repairs on my Daytona at

My Daytona Page

Now, I don't have the finished pictures up yet, plus I hit 2 deer after I had gotten the work all done *grumbles* and that really messed up the front end. But I have some nice pictures before that happened. I just don't have them uploaded yet. Hope to soon though.