Metallica Is Slipping

Metallica is releasing a new album this week, their first new material in a long time. Fans have already reportedly reserved an astonishing 1.5 million copies of the album. Unfortunately, I have a feeling they are going to be sorely disappointed in this cd.

I didn't get into Metallica right away when they made it big. The music was so hard that it took me a few years to really appreciate it for what it was worth. The first Metallica album I purchased was And Justice For All, and I bought the black album, and Load and Reload. Although others thought they sold out after "And Justice For All", I thought they did a good job of moving into a more mainstream musical approach. I have also intended on purchasing the albums from before And Justice For All.

I was driving around in my work truck the other day and the morning guys on local station 93.3 KRTZ (they are a couple of complete douchebags, but I won't go into that) were all excited because they had the new single from the upcoming Metallica album and they were going to play it. I was intrigued myself, looking forward to hearing what they were going to sound like, because all indications pointed to a return to harder metal like they used to play.

The song is terrible immediately. The drums sound like Lars is on speed or some other amphetamine of some sort, just hammering away on them with no real purpose at all, James Hetfield is ranting away out of sync also, and the guitar is just plain uncoordinated at best. I can only pray that the rest of this album has more substance and better songs, or this is going to be one of the most astonishingly huge musical failures of all time, regardless of how many they sell the first few days. They won't sell much more once people start realizing how terrible it really is.

The only reason the song is even being played by radio stations everywhere is because of the name Metallica itself, which is really sad. If St. Anger had been released by a no name band, every radio station in the nation would have laughed hysterically and never have played it, but oh, because it's METALLICA, they feel they have to play it, and not only that, retards like the morning guys on 93.3 actually talk about how great the song is and keep a straight face about it, to me that is just absurd. If they weren't being paid big bucks by Elektra to promote the song no one on earth would play it. It's THAT bad.

Pacifists Need Pacifiers

I'm sick of turning on the television or opening up the newspaper and seeing ignorant anti-war people spouting off their empty heads and loud mouths about how 'evil' America is for going after Iraq, and about how we terrible war is and that there is no excuse for fighting ever...

There is a set of instructions on how to handle a pacifist, it's really a simple procedure to help a pacifist change their ignorant ways:

First off, ask the person what they think about the war in Iraq, to be sure that this person is indeed a pacifist.

The person should answer with something like the following "War under any circumstances is bad, there are always better ways to handle any situations than to respond with violence".

At this point, punch the person in the nose, as hard as you can. If the person tries to fight back, hold up your hands and remind them that responding to your assault with aggression is bad, and that, as he/she had said before, there are better ways to handle this situation than fighting back. The person will say something like "Yes, that is right, fighting back is..." cut them off by punching them in the face as hard as you can again. If the person does not fight back after the first punch, then just punch them again right away.

Repeat the before mentioned steps until the person realizes that, yes, sometimes it is necessary to fight back to protect oneself

Dumping Is BAD!!!

I was on a route out of Lincoln earlier today while working and I saw this written on a billboard... "Dumping Is BAD!!!" and there was a sheep on the billboard, and a pile of something beside the sheep in a field, like along a road or something. This has to be one of the stranger billboards I have ever seen in my life (although, every one of them in South Dakota on the interstate going west probably is wierder, but we won't go there, it's South Dakota, enough said).

I got to thinking, what in the world is someone doing dumping a perfectly good sheep??? I mean, the sheep in the picture on the billboard was healthy, he was looking unhappily at some pile of stuff, perhaps someone dumped him too close to some garbage? I really don't know...

I wondered perhaps, if this were a play on words, such as, "Dumping Is Baaaaaaaaaad", like a sheep going "baaaaaaahhhhh". Certainly in this day and age we don't still have problems with rogue sheep running around leaving piles of litter in the wilderness? You have to really hate it when sheep get all wild in this day and age and start dumping their McDonald's wrappers out of the car and leaving messes around.

But, I am sure I actually figured out what the billboard meant, because obviously, if you think about sheep dumping, it probably means that there are wild sheep in the city of Lincoln crapping on people's lawns. Nobody wants that going on, that is just terrible. Of course, someone should have thought of one thing before they put up the billboard...

MOST SHEEP CANNOT READ!!!

DUH, I swear, don't people think before they act? What a waste of money, only the smartest of sheep can read, and I wouldn't think they are the ones out crapping around, well, unless they are drunk, or high, but then, sheep that are doing drugs aren't all that smart, now are they?

Well, let's just hope that someone can get ot the bottom of all this sheep dumping going on.

Modern Torture Device

I would like to meet the man who invented the three piece suit, and kick him right in the balls. That's right, wind up, and just drive my foot right up into his family jewels, to let him know how much I do NOT appreciate the idea of wearing such a ridiculously uncomfortable getup. It certainly wasn't on the basis of comfort that someone decided to get up one morning, put on a starched white shirt with 12 buttons on it, including one that tightens right around the neck, toss on some tweed pants with a belt, hot dark colored leather shoes that, regardless of what anyone says, are NEVER as comfortable as athletic shoes.

Then a tie, the worst part of all, it is tight, restricting, it blows all over in the wind, drops in water in the drinking fountain, and gets into everything you eat, too. And putting the tie on is the worst of all, adjusting it and reputting it on again till finally the ends match and the little end in back isn't longer than the one up front. On top of that is the jacket, anothe 3 buttons to do and a lovely heavy hot, even more constricting final touch to the whole suit process. Then of course there are the lovely accessories to the suit, the big heavy briefcase, the heavy metal watch, cufflinks, etc.

The business suit makes me question the very sanity of which we, humans, have evolved as a race. Let's be quite truthful about this now. If humans were truly the most intelligent animals on the planet, then why in the hell are we even wearing these stupid outfits to work??? We should be wearing sweat pants and t-shirts, running shoes, and perhaps a light jacket when it's chilly in the office. But no, we insist on punishing ourselves with these ridiculous clown suits and pretending there it is normal to be this uncomfortable at work.

And yah, I'm sure some of you are saying "oh, I am very comfortable in my suit at work." Well why don't you lounge in your suit, or go work out in a three piece, or sleep in your suit? Because it's not THAT comfortable, now is it? Or perhaps it is because of the price of the outfit, another reason why suits are really stupid. If the world were truly perfect, you could go to work in a pair of comfy cotton shorts and a nice t-shirt, but the world requires us to show respect to some unknown God Of Torture by wearing the business suit.

Hmm, I wonder if the real reason we wear suits is so we can stay awake at work? I suppose that might be it, wouldn't want someone so comfy that they would fall asleep at work, that's for sure.

Teachers Need To ZIP THE LIPS!!

Once again, teachers in Nebraska are doing the usual complaining that they don't make enough money, using the most common misleading and deceitful tactics in order to trick the public into believing the ignorant rhetoric that spills forth from their mouths like so much rattling of the empty can.

The economy stinks right now, I don't know what it's like for other states, but Nebraska is having a horrible time budget wise trying to make ends meet, everything is being slashed, from university funding to law enforcement, but that doesn't seem to matter to teachers. "We hold the nation's future in our hands, yet we make the same salary as an automobile mechanic" was what one teacher said recently.

WOAH, now hold on just a minute and lets do a little research about what she said right there. Now, this teacher and the auto mechanic both make a salary of $26,500 dollars a year, BUT.... something to consider in all of this, a teacher works 9 months of the year, where as, the auto mechanic works a full year to gain his salary. So, let's break this down into a more realistic comparison of the salaries of these two occupations.

Teacher: $26,500 for 9 months = $2944.44 dollars a month

Mechanic $26,500 for 12 months = $2208.33 a month

This teacher has a SUBSTANTIAL gain over the mechanic, based on the REAL numbers done mathematically. And, if you were to take the $2944.44 by 12, to figure out the actual salary of a teacher, the total comes to $35,333.28 for a year.

"Oh, now that's not fair" you say? Sorry, I don't have much sympathy in the way of teachers, they knew going into this profession that they were going to have that three months each year where they would not be working. "But a teacher has to work late at night to correct papers and get ready for the next days classes." So what?!?!?!? Do you know how many professions require those working them to be on the job, either at work or at home, working from home, for 60 to 80 hours a week? And let's face it, teaching isn't some horribly hard job, anyone who tries to say that it is SOOOOOOO terrible needs to spend some time working in a factory, or driving a cab, or doing some fast food, because any of those jobs and a thousand others are a damn site harder than being a teacher.

And, as far as the whole "holding the nation's future in our hands" statement, just what do you think happens when a mechanic works on a car, or a police officer directs traffic, etc? There are so many jobs that hold just as much importance as far as how they affect the future as a teacher's job does. Don't get me wrong, I respect very much what teachers do, however, I don't believe for an instant that they deserve more money, especially when the economy is doing so poorly.

The Smells Of Summer

As this time rolls around every year, I find myself taking deep breaths in and savoring the smells of summer, the fresh cut smell of grass and hay, the fragrant smell of blooming flowers and blossoms on trees, the light scent of chlorine that the wind will carry off of a swimming pool, so many smells that bring back so many memories. (of course, I've never had a car with any sort of reliable air conditioning, so I'm always accustomed to these smells haha) I love this time of year, it's my favorite. Growing up on the farm, every year at this time you realized the earth's promise of renewal, watching the barren land give way to life in the form of abundant crops. Swimming in the creek, riding my bicycle five miles into town just to buy a candybar and some soda, experiencing those smells right up front and in my face each and every day of my youth.

I suppose it's just another reminder of a more innocent time of life, each year, getting out of school, having that three months to go do whatever I wanted, as long as I was getting my chores done at the farm. How nice would it be if we were still able to have that three months off every year, to just be a kid again? I guess this is where I see the reason for needing to own my own business, whatever that business may be, in order to really enjoy life on my own terms. Ah, summer, what a beautiful thing.

Old Decrepit Pervert

I cannot help but be both amazed and disgusted by Hugh Hefner, owner of Playboy Enterprises. I shouldn't say amazed at him, more amazed at the people who associate themselves with him. The guy is like what, 90 years old now? And these blood sucking whore blondes who get airbrushed in his magazine hang out at that mansion with him and countless idiot airhead movie stars and sports stars who think you are in the 'in crowd' if you get into the Playboy Mansion.

I suppose the fact that if Hugh Hefner was not owner of Playboy he would be known as Hugh Hefner, retired municipal bus driver, but since he has all that money, it's okay for him to basically buy friends so they will hang around with his nasty wrinkled ass as he walks around in that ugly as sin silk robe that he wears all the time. Can you imagine what is underneath that thing?? EEEEEK, I shudder at the thought. And yah, the girls that marry him, oh, they are in it for him, not the money. Right, my white ass, it's all about the money, I mean, what would it be like lying in bed naked with that ugly, yellow toothed freak? GOD, GROSS!!! YUCK!! I mean, sure, I would never be in bed with any man, but for you ladies out there, you have to want to projectile vomit at the very thought of that nasty man naked.

Yes, I do thumb thru the occasional Playboy, that's how I got this idea, looking at the half naked women running around that mansion with half dead Hugh and all the stupid actors and sports celebrities. It would be nice just to have enough money to turn down an invitation to the Playboy mansion, but unfortunately, I can't buy my friends. No, wait a minute, that isn't unfortunate, that just lets me know who my real friends truly are. I can tell you this much, for all the money he has, Hugh Hefner still lies down in bed at night a lot lonelier than I am, because I know who my friends really are.

Walking Into The Sunset

This week, John Stockton, basketball player for the Utah Jazz NBA team, announced that he was going to retire after 19 years in the game, and Karl "The Mailman" Malone isn't sure what he will do yet, he is a free agent next year. Now, I don't really like the Utah Jazz, but anytime a player of sports who has played for most of my lifetime and developed a near 'icon-like' status, such as Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, or Magic Johnson did, you get sort of used to seeing them day after day during the season, like or not. When they retire, although inevitable, it's still sort of sad, the end of an era.

It seems like Wayne Gretzky of the NHL, Tom Osborne (coach of my beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers college football team), Michael Jordan (for the first time), Barry Sanders of the NFL, and some of the others, were retiring all within like just a couple of years, I remember sitting there the first day I heard Tom Osborne was going to retire, and feeling a wash of wide eyed shock about it. He was given the reigns to the Nebraska football program in 1972, the year I was born, I had never known another coach of the Huskers, I know it was going to be strange, to not see him on the sidelines in the fall of each passing year, something I was so accustomed to. These players and coaches are icons, we idolize them when we are young and grow to respect them even more as we get older. Certainly others come along to replace them.

I never really understood how anyone could say that Pete Marivich or Dr J. could be anywhere near as good as Michael Jordon, or that Muhammed Ali could ever be considered as good as Mike Tyson, until now, when my idols begin to disappear one by one. Those who enter the league to replace them, they may be better, but I don't want to let go of that magical feeling in my youth, a time when I would listen to the radio at night to hear highlights of what Mark McGuire was doing hitting home runs, or turning on the television to see a magical pass play by Joe Montana to Jerry Rice. It is a connection to a time when things weren't so stressful, when life was easier, when a boy could enjoy sports right alongside wasting time all day swimming and riding his bike with friends. Each time another one retires I start to feel older, a little more vulnerable.

Change is constant, and in such a high profile area such as sports, it is a reminder that our time on earth is short and precious, and to make the best of that time we have.

My Army PT Test Is Done!!

Well, I took the Army PT test this weekend, and I did well, met a couple of my goals and got close to my third goal.

Pushups: 100 in two minutes
Situps: 83 in two minutes
2 Mile Run: 11:57

I have no clue where I pulled 100 pushups out of. I did 60 in about the first 50 seconds, then rested for a bit, then began doing them in increments of 10. I got to 90 and starting thinking "wow, I could make 100" and from then on out it was just a push, one by one, to crest the century mark in pushups. I have never done that before, and it gave me a lot of hope about my situps. As it turns out I may have overdone the pushups because I got to 60 situps and I was really hurting. I cranked out as many after that as I could, but I can see I have work to do in the area of my situps if I want to reach 100 in 2 minutes.

The run was very painful, I overdid it just to break 12 minutes, my first mile time was 5:45 and from then on out it was just push push push to try and keep my pace going. I over-ate spaghetti at lunch, trying to load up carbs, and that hurt me. I will have to do a LOT of work yet in the run if I ever plan to get to 10:30 before the state army fitness challenge in August sometime.

Overall I was encouraged. I didn't like how hard I had to run to break 12 minutes, but I was surprised at how I was able to get 100 pushups. I'll work some on situps, and continue to press on with increasing my running ability, and hopefully in a couple months I'll be ready to really do well.

ALL ALONE!!!

Well, Deanna is gone for close to 5 days, on a trip for the place she works at. This means I'm all alone!!! I AM FRIGHTENED!!! Actually though, this is wierd, because for the past 3 months we haven't been apart for more than 2 days at a time, and that was me going to my military guard drills. I have drill this weekend so we won't actually see each other until Sunday night *YIKES*. I miss her right now though, I shall call her, tried once but no answer, she's probably out on the town having some fun, seeing the sites in Kansas City, and what not.

I'll try not to have a huge beer bash while she's away, it will be tough but I think I can abstain from such activity for the time being. Will the dishes pile up? Will trash overflow? How will fraNk feed himself? STAY TUNED!!! CLIFFHANGER OF THE YEAR!!! The new season of As fraNk's World Turns starts on Monday!!!

Working Out Makes Working Good!!

I've been working out for about a month now, really getting into it the last week or so, because I have a PT test this weekend. I talk to some of the guys at work about how I go running and such after work and I hear "oh, I'm too tired to do that" and so on.

What is interesting though, is how much better a person feels if they work out with any consistency at all. You feel better at work all day long just for working out.

My calves have been really killing me though, because I've been running 'sets'. Sets are a 'set' distance and you run that distance like 6 times, and walk a little between each run. I am up to about a half mile now I think, and at the end of my sets, I sprint the back side of the dam 3 times, wow, my calves just scream the next day.

Hopefully all this work will do me good for this weekend's PT test. I am ready for the situps, the pushups are still a little iffy, as is the run, but I will do well.

TV Shows, Some Great, Some Terrible

I watch TV sometimes, and over the years there are several shows that I have really enjoyed, but there are also several shows that make me cringe with horror when I see them.

The shows that I have liked go as follows, chronologically listed based on when the show started, not by what show is better:

1) Hogan's Heros

What's To Like?

A bunch of crafty WW2 American prisoners of war, held by blundering idiots who run a pow camp in Germany, crawling around in tunnels and doing secret missions to help the Allies.

What's Not So Good?

Not all that believable at all, no one is as stupid as Colonel Klink, but still, with fun little missions going on in every show, it was always a good time to watch it.

2) M*A*S*H

What's To Like?

Plenty with MASH, a miriad of characters to choose from, from Hawkeye Pierce and his laid back fun time humor to Frank Burns and his over patriotic stupidity. As I got older, my time in the military allowed me to appreciate this show even more.

What's Not So Good?

I can't really watch it as much as I used to, sometimes the humor is downright childish. But mostly it's good fun.

3) Dukes Of Hazard

What's To Like?

I LOVED this show when I was little, it was the best, fast cars, police chases, crazy characters such as Roscoe P Coaltrain and Boss Hog, and wow, Daisy Duke with those jean shorts (although at the time I didn't pay attention to that much, I was too little).

What's Not So Good?

I try watching it nowadays, and it's just plain bad, you notice that were probably only about 3 jumps total ever done for the show, the footage is just added into every episode, the plots are terrible too. But in the day, as a kid, you didn't care, you just liked all the crazy car chases.

4) Airwolf

What's To Like?

Stringfellow Hawk was the lead character's name, he would go around getting his butt kicked all show long, and then at the very end show up in his mach 3 super attack helicopter called "AirWolf" and kick the holy shit out of everyone, it was awesome!!! Always on his tail were both the US government and the company that created AirWolf, although the company, represented by a man who dressed all in white with an eyepatch, never seemed all too concerned about going after the helicopter as long as Stringellow did the missions they wanted him to.

What's Not So Good?

The show centered around Stringfellow's quest to find his long lost brother, Sinjin Hawk. Belarus sold the rights to a new company took over production of Airwolf and got rid of all the actors and brought in terrible ones. The new helicopter pilot? Sinjin Hawk, how quaint, he was found, they never even showed the old actors doing a transition, the excuse? Stringfellow died. Too bad all the new actors were terrible. The show didn't even last more than 4 or 5 episodes after that.

5) Saturday Night Live

What's To Like?

TONS of incredible actors have come from this show, from the days of Eddie Murphy and Bill Murray, on to Dana Carvey and Phil Hartman, to Chris Farley and David Spade. A live skit show that makes you laugh and laugh, with guest stars ranging from huge movie stars to politicians.

What's Not So Good?

The show is really terrible now, ever since Phil Hartman left, the writing and skit ideas have been terrible, this probably has a lot to do with NBC having too much creative control over what goes on with SNL now and the show not being able to be so raw and nasty as it used to be. Another not so good thing is how many wonderful talented actors from this show have died young over the years.

6) Sienfeld

What's To Like?

This is my favorite show of all time, to be quite truthful, quarky, witty, there was no real basic plot week by week, the show just followed the strange yet hilarious exploits of 4 friends and their adventures around New York City.

What's Not To Like?

They quit TOO STINKING EARLY!!! And the series finale was really really horrible, they need to have a comeback show, a 2 hour fun movie, with all of them, and Newman, and Kryger, and Mr Peterman, and others.

Here's the shows I really did not like at all, I put these in order, Most Hated up top:

1) Touched By An Angel

What's To Like?

NOTHING, and I mean absolutely nothing

What's Not So Good?

EVERYTHING, it's all bad. The lead actress and her miserable blithering bothersome interference somehow always seems to save some poor begotten soul who has strayed from the path of good and always sees the err of his ways by the end of the show, thanks to the annoying angels. This show makes me want to projectile vomit, then run to my balcony and jump to my death. Well, I'd probably live, but with a broken leg or back or something. Then the angels would show up and save me and I'd want to stab myself.

2) The Other Half

What's To Like?

Not much, this show tries to be the male equivalent of The View, and it does even better at being terrible. Mario from Saved By The Bell, Dick Clark, drunken freak Danny Bonaduce, and some no name hunk of a guy, with an audience full of women, presumably to make the hosts feel like they are attractive or something, which they aren't.

What's Not So Good?

I don't know anyone who likes this show, it's completely pathetic, and it's sad really because Dick Clark looks like a has been when he hangs around with Bonadufus and Mario, I even feel bad for the no name guy, because his name won't get any more reknowned being on this show, that is for sure. Four poor idiotic men who sit around and talk about women's problems and even try feminine clothing and products on, just to get stupid laughs from the studio crowd, YUCK!!!

3) Murder She Wrote

What's To Like?

I suppose a person could really stretch and say this is a dramatic detective show, and get some enjoyment out of an 80 year old geriatric woman chasing down hoodlums.

What's Not So Good

It's an 80 year old geriatric woman chasing down hoodlums, that's bad, Angela Landsbury is about as believable as a detective as Charles Manson would be playing the Pope. This show actually makes me want to support assisted suicide.

4) The Nanny

What's To Like?

I suppose you could say Fran Dreschler is cute?

What's Not So Good

She may be cute, but then she opens her mouth and you are so completely annoyed that you want to pull out a shotgun and shoot the television.

5) The View

What's To Like?

4 well known women get together to discuss current events, along with a famous guest host.

What's Not So Good?

This show constantly degerates into a plethora of man bashing behavior, not to mention a man could grow a vagina just watching an episode of the View.

6) Highway to Heaven

What's To Like?

Michael Landon tried to do a spin off of sorts from Little House On The Prairie, this show was the prequel to Touched By The Devil.. err, An Angel, I mean. Landon was an angel that tried to help people out.

What's Not So Good?

Pretty much the same problem that Touched By an Angel is facing now, crappy feel good plots that have unrealistic feel good endings, and are so pathetically boring you pray for death.

There are other shows out there that I like and dislike, but this should give you an idea of some of my favorites and most hated.

Shopping At Sam's Club = FUN!!!

My goodness did we have a great time at Sam's Club shopping for bulk products. Here is a list of what we purchased:

20 lb tub of butter
5 gallon pail of Jack Daniel's whiskey
1000 packs of Juicy Fruit gum, shrink wrapped in a 3' by 3' square
25 lb bag of unsweetened grape Koolaid
10 lb shaker of garlic powder
5000 Vitamin D pills in a bottle
Ten 50 lb bags of doritos
30 gallon drum of Pace medium picante sauce (I love chips and dip)

As you can see we made several very wise decisions in our purchasing choices, we got some truly amazing stuff!!!

The Lights Are On But No One's Home

Easter night, we wanted to go get ourselves a sandwich from Subway, well, I did, and Deanna was going to have Subway for dinner because that's what I wanted (don't fret, feminists, she actually likes when I choose where to eat). There are two Subway's withing proximity to where we live, one about a mile south, and one about 3 miles north. We went south, I saw the big Subway sign was all lit up, they were closed. So we went north, the big Subway sign was also lit up, they were closed. We drove past Little King, sign lit up, store closed. Valentino's pizza, sign lit up, store closed.

Now, I understand it is Easter and all, it's not the fact that they are closed that I have a problem with, it's the idea that they LEAVE THE FREAKING BIG SIGN ON SO FROM A MILE AWAY, HUNGER REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD WITHIN ME AND I LOOK FORWARD TO EATING A PARTICULAR TYPE OF FOOD ONLY TO HAVE MY GOURMET DREAMS SHATTERED BY THE FAUX SECURITY OF AN OPEN WARM INVITING RESTAURANT!!! Whew, sorry about getting all worked up, but you have to understand, I wanted Subway, badly. Thankfully, Burger King opened his royal arms and took us in without question, cuddling our hunger as only broiled beef can.

I won't even go into what went on at McDonald's Saturday, waiting for 20 freaking McNugget's and a large fry. All in all I would say the weekend finished as follows:

Fast Food - 2
Me - 0

I'll get 'em next time!!!

Someone I Love

Sometimes in life I think everyone has moments where they are completely overtaken by feelings, be those feelings bewilderment, confusion, anger, elation, even love. These emotions seem to become intertwined with situations that could be seen as either lucky, or unlucky. Sometimes the feelings overlap one another, such as when you feel so completely and incredibly lucky to find someone who compliments you in so many ways, someone who loves you unconditionally and whom you can also love just the same, no strings, nothing to hide.

I have found that, a person with whom I can see myself for the rest of my life. Deanna is the most wonderful girl I have ever known, I sometimes will look over at her and wonder how someone so incredibly beautiful could ever be attracted to someone like myself, but I try not to dwell on that too much, more so to thank God that she is in my life, because I really can't imagine my life without her. I can remember the first time I ever saw her, around 5 years ago now, and how I thought she was so beautiful, and also thought to myself how no one like that could ever be interested in someone like me. Her amazing smile, deep dark eyes, the way she looks at me, I find myself holding my breath when I stare into her eyes, just trying to hear her breathe.

I won't ever expect everything to always be wonderful, life has already hit us pretty hard the last few months, over and over trying to knock us off our feet, but I know that as long as we have one another, everything will be okay. It's not money that I care about, it's not material possessions (although a fast little sports car and a nice house all paid for wouldn't be too bad), as long as I have her, I feel so complete, as though I can get past the deepest most painful things in my life just knowing how much I love her and how she feels the same for me. I'm in no way a perfect guy, but my better half makes up for that in so many ways, I don't know if she realizes how much I appreciate her, but I do, so very much, I love her with all my heart and soul, and nothing can change that.

Spend The Day With Me As I Beat Your Ass!!

I got a kick out of this when I read it:

Jose Canseco Offers His Company For Your Cash

Considering that he has gotten himself into hot water all the time over the years for his hot temper, I don't think spending time with him would be my idea of fun, I would probably say something and make him mad and get my head bashed in with a baseball bat. One thing that doesn't make sense here is this:

"Canseco will provide roundtrip limousine service from the airport, but overnight accommodations and airfare aren't included. The highest bidder can bring along a guest who's younger than 18 at no extra cost."

Is this about money or what? If he can afford to provide limousine service, I can't understand how he could actually need money from this little stunt. And hey, I like the idea of bringing someone younger than 18 along with you. Hey, beat up my kid too, alright!!!

Let's Play Some 'Pong'!!

When you walk thru an electronics store such as Best Buy nowadays, you will find three main video game systems, Playstation II, Nintendo GameCube, and Microsoft XBox. Then there are the older games, the PSOne, Nintendo 64, Sega, etc. When I started college though, there was only one game system out that was really popular, the 16 bit Nintendo Entertainment System.

Our dorms didn't have cable television, the first year I was there was the first year they even had telephones in the rooms. Those who did bring in televisions with an indoor antennae got one good station, along with 2, sometimes 3 fuzzy stations. If you were really ritzy you had a VCR, about 75% of us did. But even then there were only so many tapes going around to watch. So usually people would end up buying a Nintendo in order to have some other form of entertainment. Because of this, you got to know a lot of people in the dorm, without cable television we would go around room to room and play video games, a LOT.

Because everyone had the same video gaming system, there was always an abundance of games going around. People would usually write their name on the back of the game cartridge in giant black permanent marker, but even that didn't stop the games from disappearing from time to time. Then usually at the end of the year, someone would bring your game back, "sorry, it was under my couch" or something like that, but sometimes you never saw it again.

The biggest game of all when I was in college had to be Super Tecmo Bowl. This was Nintendo's NFL football game, and it was a blast. In a college dorm, having this game meant instantly that your room was going to be party central. You would go around and ask everyone if they wanted to play in a season, and what team they wanted to be, then you would get the season started, the most I ever saw in a season was 16 different people playing. The seasons were set up 16 weeks long, and the games HAD to be played in order. So if it was 4 in the morning and time to play your game, you would either drag your ass out of bed and play, or they would skip you. Same goes for if you had class, the football game had precedence over school, it was much more important.

It was rare that a season of Tecmo would ever make it all the way till the end. First off, the Nintendo was problematic, tending to erase the season for no reason, and it didn't help when people would get pissed off and throw the controllers and such, causing the game to bounce around. Other times, people would just reset the season when no one was around with the hope of doing better next time. Usually only about 5 or 6 people were left entering the playoffs, most often everyone else would quit the season by the time the playoffs rolled around.

The playoffs, though, were a big deal. People would actually schedule times for their playoff games so that everyone could come watch. And wow would emotions run high, people cussing and screaming at one another, even at 3 in the morning, and some real nasty grudges would develop because of the game, one in fact that caused a guy to leave school for a semester (he says that wasn't the reason but nothing else made sense).

A couple of years later though, the other gamings systems sort of took over, and things were never quite the same. I mean, playing Twisted Metal II was awesome and all, but never did we have that bond of friendship with so many people like we did when we were playing Super Tecmo Bowl, or even Tetris and Dr. Mario. With more games and variety it became harder to be good at every game, I suppose that is good in the long run, but people didn't hang out together near as much. That could be because the dorms got cable television too.

Oh well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted, that is for sure, nothing could beat a 3 in the morning football game in your boxer shorts.

A Great Job Interview

There are certain key points to making a job interview into a great performance, here are some of them:

Wear the absolute dirtiest clothes you have, preferably ratty, with hole everywhere. Nothing impresses an interviewer more than someone who wears an outfit with no professional value at all. This will let them know that material things aren't important to you.

Show up at least an hour late for your interview, perhaps even a day late. This lets the interviewer know who is in charge, that you aren't going to submit to anyone else's wishes. It shows you are a 'take charge' type of person, companies like that these days.

Have several beers and some hard liquor before the interview. It will help take the edge off. The more alcohol the better. If you need to, take a bottle of liquor into the interview with you. Bring whiskey, and don't be afraid to share. Usually the interviewer will enjoy a drink with you, hey, he's stressed too you know.

Negotiate a hard bargain about absolutely every aspect of the job. Lunch is an hour long? "Come on, how about an hour and a half?" Salary only $70,000 a year? "You know I'm worth twice that, buddy!!" Let them know that you have negotiating skills, companies are looking for that in prospective employees.

Bring several friends to the interview. Have one carry a video camera, always pointed at the interviewer. Have another carry a cassette recorder, and another a briefcase. Tell them you are on an MTV reality show. Companies love publicity, especially from a quality network like MTV.

Tell the interviewer a list of amazing medical conditions from which you suffer. You are narcoleptic with tourette's syndrome, so while driving you suddenly fall asleep AND start yelling obscenities "HORSE PENIS HORSE PENIS, DICK LICKARENA!!!!". You have a narcissistic rage condition. You think highly of yourself, angrily. "GOD DAMN YOU ALL I AM SEXY, LOOK AT ME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES I AM THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!!!" as you beat up your co workers. Remember, companies look to hire those with disabilities, it makes the company look better to the public.

Ask suspicious questions continually, throughout the interview. "So, can a person bring a gerbil to work with them, I mean, as long as it's hidden?" or "When you have drug tests, just how long does it takes something minor to get out of your system, like... let's say for instance... LSD or heroin?" or "I wouldn't run into any cops or law enforcement people while working here would I?" This keeps the interviewer guessing about you, it's good to be mysterious, the unknown is a little tapped resource in job hunting.

Make up completely ridiculous stories about previous work places. Talk about how you had sex with the bosses spouse, and about how much money you stole from petty cash. Spin a good yarn about how one time, you "borrowed" the company vehicle over the weekend and drove it to Tijuana, Mexico with 4 buddies and got completely drunk and lost the vehicle, then had to hitchhike back into the United States on a Tequiza beer delivery truck. Employers like to know that the person they are hiring can bring excitement to the work place.

One final key to a successful interview. Just as soon as it is over, shake the interviewer's hand, then run as fast as you can outside, jump into your car, and lay rubber thru the parking lot as you leave, cutting off any other driver who might get in your way. This lets the company know that you have other places to be, and also that you aren't afraid to do what it takes to show up to work on time. This is especially good when trying to get a job as a delivery driver.

Hopefully, you can have a successful interview with the points I have provided you with today.

Saving Private Ryan, A Must See

I remember when the movie, Saving Private Ryan, first came out. There was a lot of buzz about how graphic the movie was, the realism and all. Steven Spielberg directed the movie, so of course, unsuspecting parents took their children to the movie expecting a light hearted 'E.T.' sort of feature, and instead were greeted with the most intensely grisly images of hellish war footage ever remade. And of course, then the complaints started rolling in, about how 'terrible' and 'overly violent in nature' the movie was. Some people even boycotted theaters showing the movie, due to it's intense depiction of war injuries.

Thankfully, World War II veterans spoke up in large numbers about the film, backing what the movie depicted. Many of them that spoke up talked about how we as a nation seem to have forgotten just how much was given in terms of suffering, tragedy, and human life, to bring about this great nation that we have today, and how a film like this can remind us how fragile freedom really is, and how much blood was sacrificed to make this country great. Perhaps instead of gasping at the idea that your children might see some bloodshed, perhaps you should rejoice in the fact that they will have a better idea of just how terrible a price is price is paid to insure the freedom for the people of our country to do whatever they want, even if that freedom involves protesting what the government is doing.

I watched the television today, the images from Baghdad, the jubilant Iraqi people who have been oppressed for so long, and it was a wonderful sight. I can only hope that in time, the same democratic representation and freedoms that we have come to take for granted, can work into place in Iraq, not just for their sake, but for the sake of that region, and for the world.

Lifetime, Television For Disgruntled Man Hating Women

On the cable network where I live, as you click up the channels, you find TBS, then TNT, then Lifetime, then ESPN, then ESPN2. I wonder, is this some sort of cruel joke? Put the Lifetime channel between two networks that play tons of action movies and the sports news channels? So as I click back and forth from NBA slam dunks and Bruce Willis shooting up terrorists, I get to see Meredith Baxter (formerly the mother from family ties) screaming obscenities at a man who killed her son in a drunk driving accident.

Just for shits and giggles, I went and looked at the titles for some of Lifetime's movies, here is a list and a brief description of a bunch:

A DANGEROUS AFFAIR

"After breaking off a rather torrid affair with a man, a government executive must go on the run when the man begins stalking her."
Oh NOOO, the evil man, he is after her, run run run!! EVIL!!!

A DEADLY SILENCE

"A teenage girl is trapped in an incestuous relationship with her father. Driven by the fear that he might molest her younger sister, she hires a schoolmate to kill him."
KILL HIM, and if you can't, hire someone else to kill the evil man!!! THEN RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! This one had sally struthers in it, i guess she had some time away from getting food for starving kids or something.

A KISS SO DEADLY

"A bizarre love triangle develops when a father becomes infatuated with his daughter's flirtatious roommate. Eventually, he is forced to break off the affair, but his infatuation turns deadly when he begins to stalk her." EVIL STALKING BASTARD!!! MEN, what are they thinking these days???

A LOSS OF INNOCENCE

"A battered wife and mother attempts to escape from an irrational and violent husband. His homicidal rage intensifies, and he holds her hostage."
BASTARD SON OF A BITCH!! MEN: hellspawned from satan!!!

A MOTHER'S JUSTICE

"A mother embarks on a quest for vengeance when police are unable to find enough evidence to convict her daughter's rapist."
Another Meredith Baxter movie, modern day champion fighting evil men everywhere!!!

A MOTHER'S REVENGE

"After her daughter is raped and physically abused by a school janitor, a mother's quest for justice culminates in a courtroom shoot-out. But the rapist is freed on a legal technicality, prompting the mother to take matters into her own hands. Unfortunately, her vigilantism leads to another trial in which she faces murder charges."
You can pretty much surmise that if the title has the word "mother" in it, there is bound to be justice sought against some evil man somewhere.

A MOTHER'S RIGHT: THE ELIZABETH MORGAN STORY

"A woman is jailed for refusing to reveal the location of her daughter, the daughter was molested by her ex-husband."
EVIL SELF SERVING BASTARD MEN!!! WHY, WHY??? DEAR GOD WHY???



ABANDONED AND DECEIVED

"A beleaguered Ohio woman struggles in court against her child's deadbeat dad. This true story has since affected current child support laws."
DEADBEAT SOB!! I do like the title though, you immediately know that some satanic hate mongrel man is involved!!!

ANGEL OF DEATH

"A psychotic escapes from prison to pursue a stunning woman and her 6 year old son. After charming his way into their lives, he becomes overprotective destroying anything or anyone that threatens to break this newfound family bliss." PSYCHOTIC FREAK MAN RUINS EVERYTHING!!! All men are psychotic though, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES... AGAIN!!!

ARMED AND INNOCENT

"Based on a true story. A boy shoots and kills two burglars in his home while his parents are away. Afterward, he is terrorized by the brother of one of the thieves."
TWO EVIL MEN DEAD, ONE EVIL REMAINS!! Only why didn't they make it a girl who kills two burglars? This is Lifetime television, what a huge glaring error, making a male look good? geesh!!!

I imagine a lot of people like Lifetime, and yes, I did skip over a few movies that were less man hating than the ones you see above, but something to think about, this list included only movies listed under the letter 'A', this means that there are a seemingly endless supply of man bashing male hating movies to choose from!!! Ah, Lifetime, could watching movies about horrible men be any more rewarding?

Guitar Rock Kills Infants!!!

As with any larger metropolitan city in the United States, Omaha has a large variety of radio stations to listen to. I listen to a lot of different kinds. I prefer guitar rock, from Led Zeppelin and Van Halen to Creed and Godsmack. I also listen to the top 40 stations, the 'lite 96' station that plays slow songs, and even the R&B stations from time to time.

Now, Saturday morning I was up very early and out in my car, and listening to the hard rock/alternative station in Omaha, when I hear this come on the radio:

Baby can be heard crying...

Man's voice, angry: "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND QUIT CRYING??? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO??? SHAKE IT OUT OF YOU???"

Woman's voice, caring, compassionate: "OH NO, you can't do that, give her to me, *you hear baby gurgling* there there..."

Then the commercial goes into talking about "Shaken Baby Syndrome", which is when a baby is shaken so hard that the brain smashes side to side, causing brain damage, paralysis, even death.

then, a really touching gesture, at the end, woman's voice: "There there now, everything will be okay now"

My first problem with this commercial is the completely blatant sexist tone that it takes, you are left with the idea that men are baby hating bastards, and that the woman has to rush in and protect the baby from the evil man. This is how the commercial should have been done:

Man's voice, annoyed: "Why won't she quit crying, this is so frustrating!!"

Woman's voice: "Honey, remember, she can't help it, she's just a baby"

Man's voice, more subdued and calm: "I know, you are right, I need to always remember that and have more patience with her"

Then go into the Shaken Baby Syndrome information and talk about ways of prevention. As you can see here, no one is made to look like the evil person. It's almost as though whoever made the first commercial went out of their way to completely alienate the man and make him look like some sort of raging moron.

The second problem I have with this commercial is the target audience. I listen to the light rock station, I listen to the top 40 station, and even the R&B station... at no time on any of them do I hear this commercial. But I turn on the classic rock and modern alternative rock stations, and I hear that commercial during about half the commercial breaks. What does this mean? Does this mean I put in my Guns N Roses CD, turn it up, and proceed to the nearest baby to shake the crap out of him/her? Seems to me that is what they are trying to imply. I'm driving down the road, listening to Linkin Park, and I spot a woman pushing her baby in a stroller, I hit the brakes so hard that the car SQUEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLLLS to a stop, jump out, grab her baby, shake the baby as hard as I can, drop the baby on the ground, then jump back into my car and tear off again, listening to the radio as loud as it will go.

Now, although I listen to my radio very loudly sometimes, that is about the only truth you will find in what I just said. I wonder what particular research brought up that males who listen to hard rock music are more prone to shake babies, if there is some sort of undeniable link, someone should send me the information or provide me a link so I can read about it because it really sounds like a lot of bullarky to me. Just for an information purpose, in my hometown of 6,500 people, 2 babies died last year from being shaken, and women were charged in both the incidents. This doesn't mean women are more prone to doing it either, but to make this an issue based on the sex of the abuser is wrong and someone should have used a little foresight before making the commercial.

Army Fitness

The military has pretty stringent standards for physical fitness, and requires periodical "PT Tests" to maintain those standards. The Physical Fitness Test consists of the following:

Do as many pushups as you can in 2 minutes.

Do as many situps as you can in 2 minutes.

Run the 2 mile as quickly as you can.

Now, a lot of people read this and think to themselves "hey, that doesn't look that hard?" It's much harder than you think. The minimum standards for the pushup phase of the test is 42 in 2 minutes. It's 52 situps in 2 minutes. I'm not really sure what the minimum standards for the 2 mile are, I think something around 16 minutes but I really haven't ever been close to failing that.

When I first went to basic training in Ft. Benning, you were supposed to do 15 pushups at reception station to move on to your basic training platoon. I did 12. When I heard that the standards were 42 for minimum, I was completely lost, I thought I would never be able to do that. One of my drill sergeants took me in one day and gave me a daily plan I needed to follow to better myself at my pushups. He told me I needed to be in the "front lean and rest position" (the push up position) for ten minutes on any night we spent in the barracks, and that every minute I had to do 10 pushups. I did that, and was able to finally pass on the final pt test, the one that gets graded, I did 52 pushups. I was so happy.

My situps were great, I was able to do the 'max' amount, 92 situps, in 2 minutes, the entire time I was at basic training. My run on the other hand got slower and slower the entire three months I spent at basic training. I started out running an 11:30 and I finished with an 11:47, not too much off of my first run but enough to annoy me, I got worse instead of better. That was normal though, faster guys wouldn't have a way of really training the run at their own pace, we almost always ran in formation and that didn't help me train. When I got back to Nebraska for my senior year of high school I was in really good physical shape overall but my running needed work, and cross country had already started, so I had to run in the junior varsity race like 3 days after I got back in order to earn my varsity spot back on the team, because I had missed try outs. I finished 2nd in the JV race, to another kid who would normally be running varsity for his team but he had to earn a spot too. He and I finished so far ahead of the rest of the JV runners, it was crazy, but anyways, back to military stuff.

I had my senior year to go thru in high school when I got back, and during that year I did a lot of weight lifting over the winter and conditioned my upper body up thru pushups and situps. So I really worked hard on the pushups and was able to max them at the first pt test I took after basics. I've been in thirteen years now and I've maxed the pt test every year since I've been in since basic training. Oddly enough, as time has gone by, pushups are easier and the situps have gotten harder. I guess that's just age affecting me.

I'm the Physical Training NCO in the Wayne army guard unit. This means I'm responsible for keeping the soldiers motivated about remaining physically fit, and also for coming up with programs designed to help those who are having difficulties achieving minimum standards on the pt test. Our unit is supposed to do two pt tests a year, one diagnostic, to see where we are at, and one for record, that actually gets put into our permanent records. We are also supposed to give 3 months warning before a pt test and try to have it roughly the same months year after year. Lately this seems to be getting really lax and that's bad news. Now, we are supposed to always be able to pass a pt test, but it's nice to have warning before hand so that you can work out a little more and get a higher score.

Right now I'm at about 195 lbs, I need to lose 15 lbs and get down to 180 by the next drill for that PT Test, and hopefully this summer lose between 5 and 10 more and get ready for a couple of military competitions, the first being the Nebraska Army National Guard Fitness Challenge in Ashland Nebraska, and the second being the German Armed Forces Fitness Exchange Tournament, in Camp Dodge, Iowa. I want to do 100 pushups in two minutes, 100 situps in two minutes, and the two mile in 10:30. This will take a lot of work over the next few months, that much I know.

I enjoy running though, and that is always a plus. Hey, I'm only young once, I need to try to do these things now when I still can. Most of the people my age are already well beyond the ability to get back into shape enough to try something like this, I don't want to end up that way.

The Osbournes? YIKES!!!

Okay, I have heard quite often about the Osbournes having a show of their own on MTV, and I scoffed at the notion that anyone could fill up a weekly half hour time slot with family interaction. With that in mind I never really watched the show. Well, lately, I have actually seen it a few times, and geesh, it's freaking addictive. I would assume that Ozzy himself has been declared legally dead at least half a dozen times over the course of his body polluting, drug and alcohol abusing life. Don't get me wrong, I do respect him for even being alive, and I love his music, the No More Tears album is very good, but watching him walk around on the show, he looks absolutely geriatric.

Sharon is hilarious, although she needs to kick the crap out of her daughter. Kelly Osbourne is a spoiled rotten little brat that needs to have her ass beat. I guess I'm a firm believer in the use of the spanking, and something tells me that Kelly didn't get NEAR enough of that. She complains about getting drunk, and for what? She's 17!!! She shouldn't even BE drinking, instead she's going about talking about how she's the "worst drunk ever" as though she's had a vast experience of drunken occasions with which to make this distinction. Hell, who knows, maybe she has. How as a parent does Ozzy tell his kids NOT to drink or do drugs when he has been blitzed or shitfaced off of probably about every drug known to man, and some not known? I guess it's the old adage, do as I say not as I do.

Then to see them all sitting around the table eating dinner, and the discussions they have with one another, be it nudity, masturbation, drinking, drugs, etc, anything taboo makes it to the dinner table to be discussed in front of steak and cans of pepsi. Sounds like home? Yah, doesn't to me either, but it is hard to turn the crap off, that is for sure.

I don't watch it week after week, just if I happen to catch it online is all. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't be able to handle all those little itty bitty horrible dogs. I like bigger dogs, and 'yap dogs' really annoy the crap out of me. It would be hard to avoid booting them like a football, I mean that in the most loving sense though, hehehe. Anyways, I'm getting off the topic here. I don't know if it's subliminal messages or what that keeps me watching that show, but non the less when it's on I tend to sit there open mouthed disbelieving what I'm seeing, that anyone could live so dysfunctionally and still stay together. I guess that's the key, when you've been thru THAT much, anything that you hear, regardless of how bizarre, becomes a drop in the bucket.

It sure makes for some wierd tv watching though, that's for sure.

Friendly Fire

Listening to the news today, I heard more about possible deadly accidents being attributed to 'friendly fire' in Iraq. Friendly fire is when you are engaged in combat by your own troops, or vice versa. I had to just shake my head though when I listened to the reporter's idiotic comments about friendly fire, as though it is a completely avoidable risk and our troops are just being a bunch of morons out there killing one another.

Let's get a few things straight about 'friendly fire'. First off, there has always been friendly fire in wars. Thankfully, as technology has moved along and brought about better weapons and battlefield tools, the number of casualties due to friendly fire has also gone down. Now, technology advancing has also brought along easier methods for determining death and injury due to friendly fire. This is a double edged sword. Although determining casualties due to friendly fire is a tremendous asset and learning tool for the military to use in determining battlefield tactics, it also paints this broad picture of the military as being prone to blundering stupidity. This is just not true.

Battlefields throughout time have been graphic, fast paced, and tremendously confusing. This is especially so during modern warfare. Although methods of determining friend or foe are as advanced as ever, the speed at which things move on the battlefield has also become astronomically fast. A patriot missile battery operator may have only 5 to 10 seconds to determine if an incoming 'blip' on the radar is an enemy missile or a friendly plane flying in at high speed. The marines use an amphibious armored personnel carrier called the LAV-25 that looks remarkably like a soviet block armored personnel carrier, so much so that there have been at least 2 cases I know of where AH-64 Apache attack helicopters or A-10 Warthog attack planes have destroyed them, creating more friendly casualties.

But even with all of this going on, one needs to realize that there are far less friendly fire casualties today than ever before. I spoke to a relative who told me that in the Pacific theater, during World War II, if a new lieutenant was not listening to his sergeants and getting lots of people in the platoon killed, someone would take the lieutenant out on a hill to 'recon' something, and a sniper in his own platoon would shoot him. For obvious reasons I won't say who this relative is, but things like that were a lot more common during WW2 than most people would believe, and probably even during later wars.

To change the topic just a bit here, something I hope a lot of people understand... when American troops begin door to door combat withing the cities of Iraq, otherwise known as MOUT warfare (Military Operations, Urban Terrain), there are going to be a LOT of casualties. I don't like it, but that's just how it is. Don't be surprised if the death-toll for United States military personnel ends up around 1000 or higher, that's just an indicator of how incredibly dangerous MOUT warfare is. My only hope is that somehow, the people in Iraq will realize that things can be better with Saddam gone, and embrace the freedom that the United States wants them to have. If not, it's going to be a long drawn out affair within the cities.

NO JELLO FOR THE TROOPS!!!

I try hard to avoid being stereotypical about any group of people, be it based on sex, race, creed, sexual orientation, etc, but sometimes it's really hard when I'm looking at something and I just shake my head at the utter nonsense of it all.

Today I was looking over what cannot be sent to American troops in the middle east, the list of prohibited items sometimes makes sense, sometimes you scratch your head a little, and other times you sit in bewilderment at the nonsense you see before you.

I have provided here a list of items that are prohibited for shipping into Arabic countries:

Money or precious metals: not that there is a McDonalds to spend 20 american dollars at in the middle east, but this still seems crazy.

Mail addressed to 'any soldier' or 'any serviceman', etc: not really sure why this isn't allowed, perhaps to avoid anthrax letters? who knows.

Obscene articles, movies, paintings, and horror comics: can't have our servicemen looking at a playboy before going out to war!!! I suppose any comic would be considered a horror comic in the middle east. "OH NO, Batman the Horrible!!!"

Any mail containing anything contrary to the islamic faith: yah, imagine that, for a faith that claims continually to be persecuted by all other religions, they certainly do their best to destroy anyone who thinks differently than they do about religion.

Firearms of any type are prohibited: this is worldwide actually, but it's still too bad, I was going to send out some nice weapons to all the people I know over there, you know, cuz they don't have enough guns as it is? MMMkay?

Pork or pork by-products: oh no, no jello for the troops, no sausage or bacon for breakfast!! Does this mean no football too? You would think so, wouldn't want someone tossing the 'pigskin' around the dessert now would you?

Fruits, animals, or living plants: dang, I wanted to send a cat to a friend of mine, now I can't. So much for the oak tree too.

All alcoholic beverages: I can't imagine what this is like, drinking is as much a part of the military as shooting the enemy a few dozen times.

Materials used in the production of alcohol: "Look, I swear the yeast was for making some yummy bread, okay?"

There were some other ones, but they were usually related to the size of the object or other meaningless things. I guess I can't send my sister that keg of beer and the roasted suckling hog she wanted to have, she will just have to get by on some O'douls non alcoholic beer and some turkey ham.

World's Biggest Jigsaw Puzzle

During the last 7 years or so I've developed a real interest in working on cars. I purchased a 1989 Chrysler Lebaron Convertible in 1996 that became Car Care 101 class for me because of all the problems that the car had. I put two engines in the car and also replaced the transmission. I replaced the shocks and struts, fuel pump, map sensor, oxygen sensor, and many other things.

Right around the same time, my father discovered the Omaha police auction, and I discovered the Salvation Army auto auction. Every saturday my dad goes to the police auction and once a month I they have the Salvation Army auction and I try to go to that. We buy 1985 to 1994 Chrysler, Dodge, and Plymouth 4 cylinder and 6 cylinder cars and rebuild them for sale, and sometimes keep them ourselves. That is where my last two cars have come from, a 1987 Plymouth Sundance Turbo and a 1991 Dodge Shelby Daytona IROC.

I have replaced around 35 to 40 4-cylinder 2.2 and 2.5 engines by my estimation, on all sorts of Chrysler cars, from Horizons to Acclaims. I'm working on my first V-6 right now, a 3.0 liter engine for a friend. Since it's my first time working on one of those I have been taking it slow so I learn what I'm doing and don't mess anything up. The engine is out of a 1993 Dodge Caravan and it's going into a 1991 4 door Lebaron.

A dream I've had for some time now is to find a 1991 Dodge Spirit RT or Daytona RT. Then in October my dad got a phone call from the local tow shop, of all places, who informed him that they had towed in a wrecked Spirit RT and wondered if we were interested in it. Of course, we jumped right on that. The car is in horrible shape, the driver fell asleep at the wheel and drove off the interstate and hit a fence post, so the frame is all bent, the car is unrepairable for all practical purposes.

But what I wanted out of the car is the engine, a DOHC intercooled turbo motor. It's got the basic 2.5 4 cylinder block, but the head is built by Lotus, and is different from any other Chrysler motor of that era. It puts out 230 horsepower and the car could beat a Mustang 5.0 in 0-60 and the quarter mile, something not many people knew about. I want to drop that motor into a 1991 Dodge Shadow, my friend's girlfriend had one but it appears she sold her Shadow to her parents, I'll have to make them an offer for it, maybe repair another car and trade them or something. Basically the Shadow weighs a good 1000 lbs less the Spirit does, you do the math, more horsepower, way less weight, that car would be a screamer, lots of fun.

Someone in St. Louis has already created a car similiar, a 1987 Dodge Shadow with an R/T motor in it, and he gets 12 second quarter mile times, that is amazing. Basically what he has done gives me somewhat of a blueprint for getting to work on my vehicle.

Anyways, that's just a little glimpse into a big hobby of mine. If you want, you can see my car pictures where I was doing repairs on my Daytona at

My Daytona Page

Now, I don't have the finished pictures up yet, plus I hit 2 deer after I had gotten the work all done *grumbles* and that really messed up the front end. But I have some nice pictures before that happened. I just don't have them uploaded yet. Hope to soon though.

Cheap Made-Up Clothing

Old Navy has to be one of the strangest stores on the planet. Certainly the clothing is cheap, low priced and not the greatest quality. The strange part about Old Navy though is that they make up new names for existing clothing or create their own oddball stuff, like the Old Navy 'polar fleece'. Then I see they take a pair of carpenter pants, which is what everyone I know calls them, because of the loop to hang the hammer in, and Old Navy renames them 'painters pants'.

Now, who in their right mind is going to hang a dripping wet paintbrush from the loop on a pair of jeans? That doesn't even make sense. Well, I guess most people that buy those jeans are buying them about ten sizes too big and wearing them around their knees so perhaps it shouldn't matter what they are called, hang a hammer on the loop and they will be around the ankles.

I'm not going to shop at Old Navy until they bring out the Old Navy 'woolen jockstrap'. Nothing better than itchy support as you are doing athletic activity, that is for sure. I bet I can even buy it for under 10 bucks, THANKS OLD NAVY!!!

Hey, don't laugh, you just might see it very soon!!! If they do market it, I'm going to get big time royalties!!! I cannot wait!!

French Shampoo? I'll Pass, Thank You

Okay, this isn't going to be a hit on the French for their world views, even though I don't think the French have won a war in more than a thousand years, if ever. No, this is about when I go out to buy shampoo, and I'm reading over the directions (because, "rinse, lather, rinse, repeat", can be a difficult combination to remember), and I see that the directions are also written in French. Now, one could conclude that Biolage is being sold in the finest beauty parlors in France, but I ask you this: have you ever been to France? Do you honestly think French women ever use beauty parlors, or showers? Okay, perhaps I'm being harsh, it does rain in France and that would technically be akin to a shower, but non the less, that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.

Are American consumers so stupid that they hear someone talking in a French accent on television, or reading the bottle of shampoo or face moisturizer and seeing it in French, and think to themselves "WOW, the beautiful women in France are using this, it must be wonderful stuff!!!". I figure these people should probably take a trip to France, and have a look for themselves at the 'beautiful french women'. Of course, if they do this, they will realize immediately why women's razors don't come with any French writing on them.

Now, one could argue that these products are included with French writing in order to market in Montreal, Canada. Now, seriously though, if this were the case why wouldn't there be directions written in Spanish, seeing how the market of hispanics within the United States is a MUCH larger demographic. No, the French directions on many health and beauty products are an idiotic ploy by companies in the United States aimed at ignorant consumers who have some view of France as a "Land Of Supermodels" when in fact it's more truthfully "Land Of A Thousand Sasquatches!!".

The B-52's Are Bombing

I heard this on the news and I was puzzled... I have listened to the B-52's since I was in high school, and to be quite truthful, I cannot remember a time when they were not bombing. I do like this strategy though, send a really horrible musical group into Iraq, have them play awful music, such as "Love Shack", and just watch the enemy troops run and scream and finally in the wake of bleeding ears, surrender to the United States forces. Yes, the B-52's have a rich tradition of bombing.

More On Iraqi Freedom

I hope to get away from this topic soon... I wanted to add a little more though...

War is a natural progression of human existance. It is certainly a beautiful and wonderful thought for people who live in comfy houses and do not know what is is like to be oppressed to shout out in the streets "NO WAR NO WAR WAR IS BAD!!!!" because they are like children on the landscape of the earth, never having lived the hardships in accordance with being oppressed. Another common misconception of anti war persons is the idea that everyone thinks the same way they do.

Sorry, but that is also not true. For all of human existance and certainly for the rest of time that humans occupy this planet or any other there will always be those who have a blood lust for power that is so intense that to feed that insatiable appetite for power they kill all that stands in their way, including the murder, torture, and widespread imprisonment of people in their own country.

You ask, "why the united states, why are they the world's policeman??" I ask you, WHY NOT? Seems the United States is continually called upon to help in bad situations be it Bosnia, Somalia, etc, who else is going to insure that Iraq FINALLY adheres to promises made 12 years ago? War will kill innocent people, but understand this, dozens, sometimes hundreds of innocent people die in Iraq EVERY DAY under Saddam, at least they have a chance now to get away from that.

Please listen to the first link, then read the second link, that i have posted below:

War Protestor Being Ignorant, As Normal, As An Iraqi National Tries To Explain The Reason This War Is Needed

Read Halfway Down, About How "Human Shields" Left Iraq After Seeing The Horror The People Go Thru There At The Hands Of Saddam

Perhaps afterwards those who protest this war will have a different opinion about things.

Sometimes War Is Necessary

It’s odd really, I’ve changed my feelings a lot about this war with Iraq over the past 10 days or so based on what I’ve been reading and watching on television.

For a long time I was completely against this war, I figured we were putting a big stick into a hornet’s nest and that all that was going to come out of it even if we were able to take Saddam from power was that there would be a million more fundamentalist morons that want to come bomb the United States.

But I’ve come to realize the necessity of punishment for Saddam for his actions against Kuwait in 1990. Iraqi troops destroyed more than 700 well heads in Kuwait, turning its oil fields into an environmental disaster, a desert inferno that took seven months to extinguish. It took Kuwait more than two years and $50 billion to restore its oil output to prewar levels. After Iraq was pushed out of Kuwait, Saddam was given a strict set of sanctions in order for him to remain in power in Iraq.

Only an ignorant fool would argue that ‘more time’ is needed for Saddam to comply with demands. He has been given 12 years with which to comply with the United Nations sanctions, how much more time does he need?? I say none, I say that diplomacy has gone as far as it’s going to go and that it is high time for military action against this tyrant.

Why should the United States wait for the United Nations to make up it’s mind about what they want to do about Saddam? And don’t give me that crap about how ‘inspections are working, just give them time’. The United Nations has made a mockery of itself by continually allowing Saddam to mistreat inspectors and kick them out repeatedly when they either find illegal weapons or say things that Saddam doesn’t agree with. Do you honestly think that Saddam would even allow weapons inspectors into Iraq except for the threat of military action against him by the United States? HELL NO, he wouldn’t be, so to back down now would be the worst mistake the United States’ military could possibly do.

The world is against us? So what else is new? The United Nations has continually requested support from the United States in conflict after conflict and has continually gotten what they asked for, and in many cases the United States is seen as an aggressor because of this, and ends up with a black eye. It’s a classic example of damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Damned if you do go in and break up the fighting between the Serbs and the Croats in Bosnia, because you get labeled as abusive aggressors, and damned if you don’t and the world accuses you of standing by as atrocities take place.

The Bosnian conflict took place right in Germany and France’s back yard, yet those countries weren’t able to do anything about it and finally the United States military under UN control is called in to try and make peace. So don’t tell me about the rest of the world not backing the United States up when they can’t take care of their own messes. Waiting on the rest of the world to make up their mind about things would be like waiting for my dead grandmother to make me some cookies, it’s never going to happen.

It’s a war about oil and money? First off, you aren’t seeing the whole picture at all. Secondly, so what if part of the scenario includes money from the oil in Iraq??? As I stated before, Iraq cost Kuwait more than $50 billion dollars to repair the damage done JUST to their oil industry, to say nothing of the loss of life caused by Iraq’s disregard for the sovereignty of another nation. If Saddam is removed from power, you damn well better believe that the oil is going to be used to pay off the debts that Iraq has incurred over the past 32 years since Saddam has come into power.

Bush told Saddam months ago what he was going to do, and now he’s doing it, it’s not as though this is some horrendous surprise, that the United States is pulling a ‘fast one’ on everyone by attacking Iraq, this has been a long time coming, Bush simply gave Saddam some simple demands, demands that fell in line with the United Nation’s sanctions, and Saddam has rejected those demands. This isn’t some ‘aggressive illegal act by a rogue nation’, Iraq put themselves on this map towards destruction 12 years ago with an unprovoked attack on Kuwait, don’t EVER forget that.

BOMBS AWAY!!!

Everyone, I've had a revelation!!!

Okay, basically I have been doing some research, as everyone knows I do before each post. The bombs that will be dropped on Iraq run anywhere from 50,000 dollars to 15 million dollars. I propose a change. Rather than bomb Iraq with expensive bombs, just drop the actual money on them!!!! That's right, a 50,000 dollar bomb becomes 100,000 fifty cent pieces. Can you imagine the possibilities? After we wipe out the iraqi army, the oppressed people of Iraq can come out of hiding and collect the money!!! Then they can pay to rebuild their own country, how can anyone be against that???

Don't understimate the power of "high altitude release of change" bombs, or HAROC bombs, as I have termed them. The HAROC will be very affective. Did you know that if you drop a penny from the Empire State Building, it will smash the windshield of a car??? Just think of what a nice big fat heavy 50 cent piece will do!!! Split a head like a camel!!! Yes, I know, that's pretty graphic, but I'm in this to save money okay? And we PAY the Iraqi people as we liberate them.

It's really too bad I'm not involved higher up in the military, these good ideas need to be put into play during conflicts such as this.

Well, I'm making frozen pizza tonite, and as I read the directions, right up top, it says "Cook Before Serving"

Could it be that someone actually served a frozen pizza or two at one time without cooking it? Let's see for ourselves:

Dad sits down at table, with son and daughter, awaits mom's entry with food.

Mom comes in carrying pizza on tray.

Son: OH BOY, PIZZA!!!

Dad: oh honey, you make the best meals EVER!!!

Daughter: I wish I wasn't grounded for sneaking out and wrecking the family porche, but at least we have pizza to make up for it.

Mom dishes out a piece to everyone.

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCH

Dad: hmm? CRUNCH CRUNCH It's good, but it hurts my teeth to eat it.

Daughter: Mine too, I've never had pizza this cold before. CRUNCH CRUNCH

Son: CRUNCH CRUNCH... OUCH!!! *holds half a front tooth out in his hand

Mom: GASP, OH MY GOD, what have I done wrong??? WHAT COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN WHEN MAKING THIS FANTASTIC MEAL???

Dad/Son/Daughter:CRUNCH CRUNCH OH MY MOUTH HURTS BUT THE PIZZA TASTES SORT OF GOOD?

Mom: OH NO, I FORGOT TO COOK IT!!! If only it had been written in big letters at the top of the directions to cook it before serving, OH THE HUMANITY!!! I have disgraced myself and the family!!!! I AM RUINED!!!

Mom runs to other room and jumps out 2 story bedroom window to her death.

Hmm, I can see why they need that warning on the pizza box about cooking it now, to avoid horrible family tragedy and tooth trouble as seen above.

Now, I know that making a frozen pizza for dinner is pretty darn lazy, but I'm putting shredded cheese on top, along with extra onions and green peppers, and making garlic bread to go with it, so it's better than the normal 'pop in the oven and wait' sort of thing.

Besides, normally we cook yummy meals around here mostly from scratch!!!

You just have to read this entire story, talk about insanity.

POSSIBLY THE WORST PLACE TO BE PULLED OVER IN AMERICA

I had heard about this place before but I had never actually known in detail about it, wow, nuts, totally nuts, hahaha.

The Lie Of Communism

Communism is an interesting concept that in it’s pure form appeals to the poor masses by promising an end to oppression and abolishing power over people. This is the ‘pure’ form of communism. The only problem is that it can never work that way. Communism relies on the basic good of people in order to achieve success of itself. A communist state requires that all people work as hard as they can for the greater good of all and everyone receives an average share of the return from that work. A noble concept, too bad that most people require more than ‘greater good’ for satisfaction and reward for the work they do.

Humans become dissatisfied with the monotony of work without recognition of performance, this can be seen over and over again with failed attempts at communism. Rather than attempt to work to the fullest for the greater good of all, most realize that they receive the same amount of return for their work, regardless of the amount of work they do, therefore, why work any harder? Plus, by working harder, there is no reward for doing extra.

Another problem with communism is that the Soviet Union, Cuba, and China, along with other all other former and present communist nations, are actually not communist at all, but group dictatorships. This is a flaw that in all probability can never be overcome. True communism abolishes “power over people”. This also abolishes leadership. The human masses need leadership, so a communist party would be formed to lead the masses, and they would end up always becoming a group dictatorship. A group dictatorship hoards the wealth of the country among a select few, in the case of communist nations such as China, this select few is the communist party itself. They live in wealthy houses and drive expensive cars, while the common laborer is lucky to have a bicycle to ride to work every day.

True communism is a noble concept. Unfortunately, it cannot ever work as defined because of the flaws of human nature.

Price Goes Up, Taste Goes Down

I have been doing a lot of research into today's post, because of course I am so very smart as you all know. What I have found out is that there is a direct correlation between the cost of food and the taste of food. I have supplied a graphic display in order to demonstrate exactly what I am talking about, please click on the link below:

SUPPORTING GRAPHIC DISPLAY

I have made this link large so that you will not miss clicking on it. Now, after clicking, you will want to revert back to the display as you read this from time to time, to fully understand the incredible contribution I have made to the scientific research of food vs money.

This curve illustrates the correlation between the cost of food and the taste of food. Now notice, ramen noodles is at the low end of both the price range and the quality of taste. This is because ramen is cheap and tastes like crap. As you move up in price range, the quality of taste also moves up along a very scientifically researched curve, called of course, "The Curve Of Taste". You will notice chicken noodle soup on your way up, and then shortly thereafter, the staple diet of most college students, macaroni and cheese.

The burrito and the cheeseburger are now found along a higher cost and taste quality bracket, as is to be expected. After that you find the subway sandwich holding it's own, then of course spaghetti with meatballs and pizza doing the high flavor relatively low dollar dance. At the top of the taste chart, right where they should be, are lasagna and steak, the undisputed rulers of the food kingdom.

After that, the price of the food begins to outweigh the overall taste. Calamari (squid) can be found with a reasonable amount of taste, then you have sushi, a bit more expensive, falling down the taste chart yet up the price scale. At that point it's all downhill, with escargot, caviar, and finally, truffles, taking up the banner for high cost and horrible taste. An interesting point to these higher cost foods: Notice that each food is a particular item but is given a fancy name as though to justify the cost? Take 'escargot' for instance, that is snails, does it make a difference really to call it escargot? Not to me, it's still snails. Caviar is fish eggs of course, and truffles, well, that's a mushroom. I don't like cheap mushrooms, so why would I be eating an ungodly priced fungus? Nope, not for me.

I could go into great detail about the expensive lengths I went to in order to insure the quality of my research, but I won't, because I wouldn't want to give away the secrets to my incredible formulas and also because I'm sure I would just bore you with the intricacies of my thesis. I am certain that someday perhaps I can achieve a doctorate in food research and be world renowned as a pioneer in my field, but for now I will just have to be content with all of your support, I thank you for that.

Have a great night *eats some spaghetti*

Make Love Not War? You'll Be Killed In Bed

Sometimes the blatant ignorance people display is truly amazing to me. This is compounded further by the idea that our media seems to distribute this ignorance with rampant disregard for any shred of intelligence. In this case, it's the whole "war is always wrong, make love not war, etc, etc" movement I see beginning to show up these days.

Only a fool believes that there should never be war. Certainly a wonderful concept, but again quite foolish. There will always be tyranny, and the oppressed. The tyrant will always wage war to oppress others, the oppressed will always wage war to defeat tyranny, it's been that way, and will be that way, for as long as man inhabits the earth. I see a lot of problems come from the idea that a lot of people believe that everyone else thinks just like they do.

It is difficult for them to sit back and try to realize that there are people out there who have a blood lust for power, who thirst for it to sustain themselves. Hell we have people like that in the United States government. But in other countries that can mean being a war lord, and can mean oppression others. Also, a lot of these so called "peace lovers" you see around the United States should spend some time in prison being beaten and god knows what else in china, because then they will realize that, wow, sometimes there is a reason to fight back, and also, WOW, living in the United States really isn't so bad and it's good to have a strong military to protect our way of life.

Actually I don't agree with the war in Iraq, and I believe strongly that there will never be shots fired in this so called war. But understand that Bush has to remain strong and put the face of war on, regardless of how unpopular he is made by the idiot media to be, in order to force Saddam's hand in all of this. Remember that the media is a business and they are in the business of scandal, and what bigger scandal than trying to portray the leader of the land as an idiot who won't listen to the masses.

For the protesters out there, not everyone thinks like you do, not everyone has the luxury of getting up in the morning and being free to speak their mind, free to carry a peace sign and stand in front of the white house burning an american flag. Try doing that in China, try burning a Chinese flag in Beijing. You want to know what your prize will be? You get a bullet to the back of your head, and then your family gets the bill for the bullet. Freedom rocks, don't you forget it.

Patriotism Noted And Appreciated

I consider it an honor to serve in the United States military. No one has a right to serve this country in our armed forces, this is reserved as a priviledge, it is with great pride that I wear the uniform of an army soldier. I started as an infantry soldier in the Nebraska Army National Guard more than 13 years ago, now I'm a semi truck driver.

Recently we went on a 5 day mission to drive trailers to Missouri. On the way down I saw a lot of waving and got a lot of thanks for what we do, which is nice. Ignorant people tend to see us in uniform and fail to make a distinction as to what our actual purpose is. What we do is a job that isn't always popular, but the job is put there by our government, not by us, so the job must be done. It seems like so often it's actors and musicians that tend to promote this ignorant stupidity, which is unfortunate. By their very position as role models it would be nice if they were to really research something before condemning, but I guess it's easier to open your big mouth and just start barking than it is to really be smart and look into something. "They say the empty can rattles the most..." as Metallica would say, and so often that phrase can be used to explain people.

But honestly for the most part, everyday people I meet don't hesitate to walk up and shake my hand or say hello, and ask about what we do, and say how much it means to them that we are doing what we do, regardless of what it may be. Putting on this uniform is like putting on more than 250 years of history, regardless of what I do I represent the United States Army, and I coordinate my actions accordingly.

You see, it's easy for someone to sit back and bad mouth the military, we do a job you don't want to do. Just remember that the job we do is what allows you to have the opinion you have, and to live with certain unalienable rights that so many of you take for granted. Perhaps this is something a lot of people need to think about before they start the rhetoric about 'military spending' and such.

Roads Built By Invalids

I enjoy driving. I do not enjoy running into crappy roads with construction everywhere. Nebraska has to have the worst roads of any of the 50 states. In fact, I would say that they are so bad, that just on the basis of road condition alone Nebraska qualifies as a third world country. It really wouldn't surprise me to learn that there are more miles of road under construction in Nebraska than miles of road not being worked on. There are now more orange construction cones around Nebraska than there are people living here.

Our roads are the laughing stock of the nation. The leading truck fleet magazine, Heavy Duty Trucking, has consistently rated Nebraska at the bottom of two categories, year after year, Road Quality and Road Department Quality. Road Quality refers to the actual condition of the road itself, this past year Nebraska placed 49th on overall road quality, just ahead of South Dakota. But there is no stopping our road department, which placed dead last, at 50th place. With such excellence in road construction, you can bet that road quality will also achieve the same outstanding performance and surpass South Dakota sometime soon for last place. Even the advertisements in Heavy Duty Trucking poke fun at Nebraska, mainly I-80, our lone interstate, and it's endless supply of potholes and shoddy maintenance. One tire manufacturer put it like this "You best have the highest quality tires possible in western Nebraska on Interstate 80". You know it's bad when they make fun of you to make money.

Probably the most ridiculous aspect of this is that the worst sections of I-80 are the newest sections. They spent umpteen millions of dollars putting in brand new cement sections of road on the interstate in western Nebraska, and for some reason the drunken state workers put in expansion cracks in the cement that are more like speed bumps. It's sure a great time driving along with the continual THUD THUD THUD THUD for about 70 miles, I guess on the bright side, there is no chance in hell you would ever fall asleep. Chiropractor anyone? You will need a good one after a cross state journey here.

If a road project is supposed to be completed in a certain amount of time, like NORMAL projects, you can bet that it will take twice as long in Nebraska, at least, and go waayyyyyyyyyy overbudget. Not only that, but by the time they finish the road they are working on, it's usually outdated and already needing more work just to get it up to speed. Nebraska's road department slogan goes as follows: "Building Yesterday's Roads Today, And Not Getting Them Done Till Tomorrow".

Driving violation fines are doubled in construction zones in Nebraska. Yet there is no governing body that seems to keep track of what is or is not considered a construction zone. Seems that any joe smoe state worker can put up an orange construction sign, and they do. You will find areas where 50 miles or more is considered a "construction zone" and yet they are only working on 500 foot of road at a time, talk about a misuse of intended purpose for a law. It can be the middle of the night on a Sunday with not a construction worker in site, on a road that has no evidence of construction at all, no machinery, no cones, just a little 12" by 4" orange sign under the speed limit sign, but you get pulled over for going 10 mph above the posted limit, and you are hit with a 220 dollar fine. I'd like to know the wisdom behind that. I guess they have to come up with some way to pay for these projects that aren't getting done, right?

I don't want to be completely negative about Nebraska's roads though, that wouldn't be fair, there is some good to all of this. When I've been out of state for awhile, and the smooth roads of Iowa or Kansas suddenly turn bumpy and everything falls off my dash and my soda falls out of my cup holder, and I see the friendly orange cones lining up along side the road like parade spectators, I can smile because I know I'm back in Nebraska, and how nice it is to be home. Perhaps they can add mechanical arms to the cones that wave hello to me and a painted on smiley face to welcome me home? Also, I'm certain that suspension and alignment repair shops make bookoo bucks in Nebraska doing repairs on vehicles damaged by our horrible roads, just an example of our roads department promoting local industry around the state, how helpful of them!!!

All in all this probably won't change any time soon, unless somehow every person in upper management within Nebraska's roads department is fired immediately. Someone call the Governor, maybe he has some unknown authority to do this? God I hope so, my back hurts...